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My Mom's bedroom

Posts: 8
Joined: Apr 2011

My mom passed away on May 25th not even a month yet. My mom, myself, my children, and my boyfriend all lived together. We are still living at her house and her bedroom is still untouched except her bed is gone because the hospice brought their own. My aunt's and my grandmother and it seems like everyone keeps asking me if I need help cleaning out her room. I don't want to clean out her room yet. Her toothbrush, hairbrush, makeup, lotions, perfumes and of course all her clothes are still around as if she is still here. Is it wrong for me to just leave everything as it is? I don't think I'm in denial or anything but I just don't see the problem of keeping her clothes in her closet for a while longer. My family is starting to ask me everyday if I need help going through her stuff or they ask what will I do with her stuff. I know it's just stuff but I'm not ready to part with it. She was my best friend we were always together so every single item of hers has some sort of story or memory to me. What should I do?

Posts: 50
Joined: Feb 2010

It is still very early yet and there is no reason why you should clean out your Mums room if you don't feel like it. Don't let your relatives pressure you into doing it, just wait until you feel like you are up to dealing with your Mums possesions.
I lost my husband a little over 4 months ago and everything is still how it was when he passed, I am not ready yet and do not feel the need to do it. I have joined a support group and that topic was discussed and we all felt the same, you will know when you are ready to do this.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

Take time to grieve in your way and in your time. If family members ask if you need help, just tell them no. Tell them you can take care of things when you are ready. Realize, too, that these relatives are also grieving. Thank them for their concern and say you will ask for help if you need it. As Americans we often try to do things quickly. Some think that that is the only way to handle grief. It's not. After my husband passed away, there were things I dealt with quickly. Other things I didn't. It has been 20 months, and I still haven't dealt with everything. Some things will stay as they are. That is my choice. Grief is a process. Some times we move backwards; some times forward. Your grief is still very new. Be good to yourself and take your time. Ask family members to give you some space. Assure them that all will be done in good time. Fay

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