My most frequently asked question.....

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Comments

  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    PhillieG said:

    Attitude Goes a Long Way
    Hi Craig, just noticed the shirt you are wearing...EVERLAST.
    Great one!
    I think you summed things up nicely. There are so many factors involved. I DO believe that attitude (a good one that is) can really help a person a lot. There are some among us who are just miserable as part of who they are and they may do well too but why be miserable?

    I do agree too with being in it for the long haul. If we were complaining miserable people who would even want to be around us.
    -phil

    Hahahaha!
    l agree! hahahaha!
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    KathiM said:

    I agree, Gail!
    That is why it needs to be combined with many, many other things, don't you think?

    I actually had a stage IV patient partner, after all else had been tried, share with me a stunning statement:

    "Actually, my passing, and going on to the existence I know awaits me, is the final win for me in the battle with cancer". It took my breath away!

    Hugs, Kathi

    Kathi , I have done
    a a big walk today in the city and did lots of pics of Barcelona thinking in the CSN family, I will hang it tomorrow in my expressions take a look tomorrow !.
    Hugs!
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 **
    KathiM said:

    I agree, Gail!
    That is why it needs to be combined with many, many other things, don't you think?

    I actually had a stage IV patient partner, after all else had been tried, share with me a stunning statement:

    "Actually, my passing, and going on to the existence I know awaits me, is the final win for me in the battle with cancer". It took my breath away!

    Hugs, Kathi

    Wow
    That's awesome, Kathi.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238
    I hear comments on attitude.
    I hear comments on attitude. I hear things like "you're doing so good because you have such a good attitude". I smile as I'm thinking to myself "did you see me when I was tearful receiving my chemo?" or "were you feeling my pain after resection or with me learning to change my iliostomy bag 4 times a day" or "was it my good attitude that got my weight down to 115 pounds" or "maybe it was my good attitude that made me cry when I had to pee after 5 weeks of radiation". Did I say any of this...no....I just smiled and said thank you I'm trying. Deep in my heart I know it's my family and friends that just showed up to mow my lawn, bring my kids burgers, or stop by with everyday neccesities like shampoo and paper towels....without asking. Or my daughter Tara who spent hours sitting and watching TV with me or just watching me sleep or shopping and cooking for me and her brother and sister.

    Like you said Kathi....it was at times other peoples investment in me that I put one foot in front of the other.

    Gail

    Oh...the other thing I heard a lot of was "you look so good". I heard this even when I weighed 115 and looked sickly. lol....I just said thank you but I thought whatever you're full of crap. lol
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    plh4gail said:

    I hear comments on attitude.
    I hear comments on attitude. I hear things like "you're doing so good because you have such a good attitude". I smile as I'm thinking to myself "did you see me when I was tearful receiving my chemo?" or "were you feeling my pain after resection or with me learning to change my iliostomy bag 4 times a day" or "was it my good attitude that got my weight down to 115 pounds" or "maybe it was my good attitude that made me cry when I had to pee after 5 weeks of radiation". Did I say any of this...no....I just smiled and said thank you I'm trying. Deep in my heart I know it's my family and friends that just showed up to mow my lawn, bring my kids burgers, or stop by with everyday neccesities like shampoo and paper towels....without asking. Or my daughter Tara who spent hours sitting and watching TV with me or just watching me sleep or shopping and cooking for me and her brother and sister.

    Like you said Kathi....it was at times other peoples investment in me that I put one foot in front of the other.

    Gail

    Oh...the other thing I heard a lot of was "you look so good". I heard this even when I weighed 115 and looked sickly. lol....I just said thank you but I thought whatever you're full of crap. lol

    I got that too, Gail!....and now, over 6 years later....
    ....I hear..."You look too good to have gone thru everything you have!"

    To which, ever the smart a$$, I reply with a big smile..."Would you like to see my medical charts? I actually have 3 volumns!"

    Hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    PhillieG said:

    Attitude Goes a Long Way
    Hi Craig, just noticed the shirt you are wearing...EVERLAST.
    Great one!
    I think you summed things up nicely. There are so many factors involved. I DO believe that attitude (a good one that is) can really help a person a lot. There are some among us who are just miserable as part of who they are and they may do well too but why be miserable?

    I do agree too with being in it for the long haul. If we were complaining miserable people who would even want to be around us.
    -phil

    Thank you, Phil!
    This is what I thought....it's tough to offer support on a continuing basis when there is not a spirit of hope, not just negativity, even just occasionally a glimmer of fight....I still do offer it, but it's a challenge, to say the least...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • jjaj133
    jjaj133 Member Posts: 867

    Kathi
    Actually, I never get asked, I get told. Just happened again a couple of days ago, they actually tell me, "You know, it's your attitude." I always pause before answering, "I guess it is." Because I don't believe it's my attitude. A lot of others had a way better attitude then I did that are no longer here. I certainly thought when they said I had six months, I had six months, heck I was busy sobbing, yelling (inside my head yelling, I wouldn't disturb anyone by actually yelling aloud)and feeling burned out. I do admit after a couple of months of self pity, you tend to get tired of it, and then decide your going to spend what time you have left enjoying the moments around you. Why am I still here? My oncologist, my surgeons. And yes, I guess maybe attitude has something to do with it, or maybe we just want to believe that attitude changes the circumstances. I don't know. But, somehow every time someone tells me I'm here, still on this earth, because of my attitude, it just give me a feeling of profound sadness, because of those before me, that had wonderful attitudes before they left us behind. Survivor guilt I suppose.
    Winter Marie

    Winter Marie, you have read
    Winter Marie, you have read my mind.
    Judy
  • Marianne313
    Marianne313 Member Posts: 124
    KathiM said:

    I got that too, Gail!....and now, over 6 years later....
    ....I hear..."You look too good to have gone thru everything you have!"

    To which, ever the smart a$$, I reply with a big smile..."Would you like to see my medical charts? I actually have 3 volumns!"

    Hugs, Kathi

    drugs can help you have a
    drugs can help you have a good attitude. When I first learned my aunt had stage 4 all I did was cry and then cry some more. I wanted to be there for her but didn't want her to see me unhappy. I made an appt. and told my Dr. you need to give me something so I don't cry all the time. (I think it's depression medicine though I don't think I'm depressed, but, it does keep me from crying when I am with her during all the Dr. appts).

    Maybe folks say "it's your upbeat attitude" because they think by saying that it will help you maintain a positive attitude. Most people don't know how to deal well with such sad news and maybe they're just amazed that you have (anyone with cancer has) a good attitude. It is impressive :).

    I read so many posts here and everyone just amazes me with their will, strength, determination and knowledge and yes---let's not forget their upbeat attitudes ;-). (I'm totally serious though). You guys (and gals) ROCK!
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900

    drugs can help you have a
    drugs can help you have a good attitude. When I first learned my aunt had stage 4 all I did was cry and then cry some more. I wanted to be there for her but didn't want her to see me unhappy. I made an appt. and told my Dr. you need to give me something so I don't cry all the time. (I think it's depression medicine though I don't think I'm depressed, but, it does keep me from crying when I am with her during all the Dr. appts).

    Maybe folks say "it's your upbeat attitude" because they think by saying that it will help you maintain a positive attitude. Most people don't know how to deal well with such sad news and maybe they're just amazed that you have (anyone with cancer has) a good attitude. It is impressive :).

    I read so many posts here and everyone just amazes me with their will, strength, determination and knowledge and yes---let's not forget their upbeat attitudes ;-). (I'm totally serious though). You guys (and gals) ROCK!

    hi marianne313 and welcome to our board
    the upbeat attitudes are wonderful, i deliberately sourround myself with positive upbeat people, i don't have the luxury to let downbeat depressed people get me down. many on this board are positive, in fact the word is inspirational. they all love and live well.

    attitude is so broad, but i wanted to add this story to this discussion. my friend with crc stage3 as well on chemo now believes he will die, his onc gave him 30-65% odds of surviving. its just his view and its his life and body and i respect freedom to feel and have his belief. I on the other hand have firm faith i will live well and beat the crc, not wishy washy faith.

    two completely different attitudes. i make no apologies that i hope my faith helps me. and at the same time i have compassion for those who believe they will die from crc. if you don't program your subconsious mind how can it help you, in fact if you must get all negative thoughts out of our mind.

    hugs,
    pete