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Off Topic--Inner Peace

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1325
Joined: Apr 2009

Hello Everyone,

I found this on the internet and thought it was kind of cute. We have so much sadness on the board right now and meaning no disrespect to anyone, I thought maybe we could use some sunshine.

Inner Peace:

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat plain food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then You Are Probably The Family Dog

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Luv,

Wolfen

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

very fitting indeed.LOL.thank you for the smile.love ya, buzz

TMac52's picture
TMac52
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2010

Thanks for the laugh.
Tom

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. 
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. 
The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. 
He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant’s foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. 
As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, 
after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. 
  
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. 
Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. 
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. 
Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. 

  

  

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. 
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and   
walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. 
  
The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. 
The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. 
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. 
  
Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. 
He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. 
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs...

...and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. 

Probably wasn't the same elephant. 
  

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

It was dedicated to all those who sent him cute, uplifting stories.

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1325
Joined: Apr 2009

I did not mean to offend you.

Wolfen

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

Not offended at all, just adding another joke.

Yours was hilarious, with the same kind of punch line.

Love ya Wolfen, and your daughter too! Nothing you could say or do would change that!

Blake

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

One of my old favorite jokes, thanks for reminding me of it.
Winter Marie

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Blake...lolololol......you soo had me ! I was getting all mushy and going ohh...ahhh...oh my gosh how neat...and then....bam! the punch line. Ha! You got me thanks for the smiles friend! Needed that!

Hugs, Gail

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Very cute....made me smile as I looked over at my little friend...the family puppy napping on the couch :)

Hugs,Gail

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Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

The family dog - love it! We have 2 and your poem is sooooo true!

Aloha,
Kathleen

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Here I was thinking, wow, I'd never measure up to that person, guess I won't be seeing inner peace, and then the punch line came in!!!
Love it!!
Thanks for the smile.
Winter Marie

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

....If you make a pile of mess in the livingroom, and are proud of it....
....If you can stretch your tongue up to clean your nose...

....If you can sit patiently by the door, waiting for your best friend, and then wriggle from head to toe, showing so much joy when they come in....

Wolfen, thank you for the smile, I needed it today!!!!!

Hugs, Kathi

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