Dec 01, 2012 - 7:48 am
My mama died of EC last Sunday I spent her last week with her in a Hospice day and night until this disease took her. I watched her struggle like a fish out of water taking her last breaths. She died at 3:38 am I have woke up at 3:25 to 3:37 every morning since. I am severely depressed. I have no will to live. I just do not care. I have a lock of hair and ashes and that is all that is left. I hate God for doing this. I hate people for telling me she is in a better place. I hate myself sometimes that I could not pull a miracle out of a hat for her. I have a family I have kids and I have a great sadness that I carry around like a boulder. Everyday it gets heavier and heavier. I tried to think that she is in Heaven but all I can do is cry and scream inside no no no....I think I am going crazy.