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Judy's Don - recurrence

Posts: 191
Joined: Nov 2011

Hi Everyone
Yesterday Don had dialysis and at about 1 a.m this morning, he had a CT scan (it was the first time he had been able to hold down the contrast so they could do it). Today they got the sad news that he does have a recurrence. As he is so weak from the last month, they are unable to do chemo as his body could not tolerate it. They have given him maybe 2 weeks, possibly less if he does not have any more dialysis.

Don and Judy have made the decision to go home and are waiting for some machinery to arrive. Hospice has been called in and already has a bed at the house for him. Their daughter is there with them.

Judy asked me to update you here, but for those on facebook, please don't post anything there at this time. Not all of the family has the news yet, so Judy is avoiding posting anything right now.

Love and hugs to everyone
Freida xx

paul61's picture
Posts: 1169
Joined: Apr 2010

This is the news we have all feared was coming for the last couple of weeks. I am so very sad to hear this. Judy and Don are such a wonderful couple and they had such high hopes as they headed off for Sturgis just a few weeks ago. There is really nothing to say that can communicate the disappointment and sadness this news brings.

Thank you Freida for keeping us up to date. May God support Judy and Don and their family during this difficult time.

With Great Sadness,

Paul Adams,
Grand Blanc, Michigan

paul61's picture
Posts: 1169
Joined: Apr 2010

Sorry Duplicate

Amjosmom's picture
Posts: 231
Joined: Jun 2012

Another punch in the guts. So sad to hear this news. Judy and Don, I'm so very sorry.

Prayers for peace and comfort for you and your family.


Amjosmom's picture
Posts: 231
Joined: Jun 2012

Double post.

Posts: 179
Joined: Feb 2011

I have never hated so much to read this news. Judy and Don truly seem like "family" and this just simply breaks my heart. I realize we were all afraid of this, but to actually read it is still shocking.

I am glad they are going home, since this is what Don really wanted.

May God give them strength during this difficult time.


DX October 2009: T3N1M0
November and December 2009: chemo (Cisplatin and 5 FU) and radiation
February 2010: Ivor Lewis surgery

stephikindred's picture
Posts: 153
Joined: Mar 2012

I am heartbroken for them. What a sad day this is all around. :(


Posts: 3
Joined: Jan 2012

Sad to hear this news. Glad that the family will be there.

BobHaze's picture
Posts: 159
Joined: Sep 2011

I don’t care if we all suspected/feared something like this, it just isn’t fair and it hurts to have it confirmed. Don is less than 6 months post-op and they give him 2 weeks?!? I’m just so sad that he had so little good time after his surgery before the pain started, and he’s been struggling ever since. At least hospice will be able to make him comfortable, which is a small blessing considering what he’s been going through for the past 2 months.

My heart is just broken for Don and Judy who, like so many before them, are good people who did everything right and still got kicked in the balls (sorry ladies). How can this be happening?

Dx 8/3/11
MIE 9/23/11

TerryV's picture
Posts: 916
Joined: Jul 2011

I am so sad and so angry that this is the end result for Don & Judy. Bob's right - this is a kick in the balls after what they have been through. EC is not fair, it isn't considerate, and it isn't patient. Just so damned frustrating to see another good man taken down by this disease.

My prayers, positive thoughts, and as much mojo as I can muster to Don & Judy. I hope his reamaining days are filled with peace, family & friends close by, and pain free. I hope Judy finds the strength to keep her spirits up as well. I know these days are challenging.

Blessings to those of you still fighting. I hope to see a cure for this cancer and others in my lifetime. Love & Hugs to you all!

PROUD wife to Nick, age 49
lost battle to EC, 06/19/12


ritawaite13's picture
Posts: 249
Joined: Aug 2011

Those of us who've walked this lonely path before you kind of suspected there was some not so good news coming out of all of this. While we continued to pray and hope the nagging doubts were showing their ugly heads. It just seems so unfair to go through all Don and Judy have been through and have it come down to this. I can only echo the sentiments of the others here;;;FEC! FEC! FEC!! Hugs to you Judy and Don and Caitlin.

Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2011

I'm Laurie, and I lost my precious Neal about 18 months ago at age 52. I am now 47. I want you to keep your focus now. Your goal's are Don's comfort and Don's dignity. Do all that you can to make sure that he is comfortable and does not lose his dignity. The fluid may not contain cancer cells, but the tumors certainly appear to be crushing a vein or artery, thereby interfering with his body's ability to rid itself of the fluid. Don't lose sight of how draining dialysis is, and how crummy Don feels following it. You do what your heart tells you to do. Protect him, advocate for him, don't be afraid to speak up to Hospice, and tell him again and again how much you love him. This cancer is brutal. It destroys so many lives when it affects a person. You did wonderfully, getting Don back to the larger hospital. You have done all that you can to fight this horrible cancer. Let your love guide you in your decision making. I know your terror and your pain, but this is about helping Don to be at peace now.
Laurie Sahagian

AngieD's picture
Posts: 504
Joined: Sep 2011

So sad. So angry. Just no words.

Judy, you and Don have been and are in my thoughts and prayers constantly.

Love and hugs,

jgwright's picture
Posts: 252
Joined: Oct 2011

This really stinks. Judy, Don... I'm so sorry. Go home and take care of each other.

Love you guys...


Posts: 377
Joined: Oct 2010

I am so heartbroken for both of you. I have avoided writing as we have talked and I know the sick , unbelievably numb feeling you have now. You have both been thru so much Judy.
Hospice will make Don comfortable and that is what this beautiful man of yours needs is comfort. EC is unrelenting and it seems to just take the best there is.

My heart bleeds for you.

I care so much Judy , we all do and we are helpless to do anything.

Much love


Donna70's picture
Posts: 920
Joined: Aug 2009

So sad to hear this, I have been praying but afraid of what all this might have been. I think Don and Judy are making the right choice, he has suffered so much pain and discomfort already. My prayers and hope are that they have some peaceful times and that hospice can take care of the discomfort and pain issues. So sorry to see this post. many, many hugs,

Posts: 120
Joined: Jun 2012

Judy I have only "known" you through this board for a couple of months, but you have always been so encouraging to me as I joined this club. I am so saddened to hear this. I know that you will continue to find the strength to deal with this. My very best thoughts, wishes and prayers for you and Don.


rose20's picture
Posts: 282
Joined: Jan 2011

Judy, I am just so sorry, I echo everyone else's words here. Cherish each day together . Praying God give you the strength to do what needs to be done. Praying peace and comfort for Don.

Posts: 88
Joined: Feb 2010

A recurrence is not the answer I had hoped to hear. What a terrible time you have been going through only to get that result. My heart breaks for you. Glad that Don can finally go home. I think you both will find some peace and comfort being in your own home.
I'm sorry for what you will now be facing, and pray for your continued strength.

PS- Thanks Freida for keeping us updated.

Ginny_B's picture
Posts: 542
Joined: Sep 2011

Oh Judy, what can I say. I've walked the road you are now on. I'm here if you have any questions. Talk as often as you can about everything. Don't leave his side if you can manage that.

I'm so sorry.

sandy1943's picture
Posts: 883
Joined: Jun 2010

Judy and Don, My heart hurts over this news. It's not fair!
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Glad Don is going home for his final weeks.
Praying God's arms will hold you close and give you both comfort in the coming days, Sandra

Ucsf_smile's picture
Posts: 81
Joined: Sep 2011

I can't believe it. 2 weeks? This is so sad and heartbreaking to hear and I know how tragic the news can be. My mom was thought to have weeks to a month just before entering hospice and she passed away 8 days later. You have been such a trooper and fighter for Don and have encouraged so many others on here to keep their head up while battling this EC beast...now know we are all here for you.

Mrs. Botch was a great reality check for me right around the time my mom's fluid tested positive for cancer. As so many others, I now realize how scary the "fluid" can potentially be.

Stay strong and feel free to reach out to mr any time, since this whole experience is still so "fresh" to me. We are fb friends, so you can always message me there. Hugs to you.

Ucsf_smile's picture
Posts: 81
Joined: Sep 2011

Some quick advice, not that you need to take it....
I'm sure hospice will give you the usual pamphlet regarding the death process. I read it over and over and over again just so I could really know when it was time. I researched testimonials online of caregivers during the end of life, because honestly, I couldn't imagine it being reality. It came to a point where I thought I was ready for the time. Just do whatever you need to "prep" yourself emotionally because that really helped me. In addition, Jenny32's last post about her dad really helped me prepare.

hopefulsurvivor49's picture
Posts: 32
Joined: Apr 2012

So very sad. Praying for strength for Don and Judy.

tmcjay's picture
Posts: 40
Joined: Jun 2012

Judy and Don,
I, as well, have been following your posts for some time now and am very saddened to read your news of reoccurance. It is what we all fear, and to strike after such a short time and valiant fight is terrible. Please know that I am thinking of you both and at this point hope that there is such a thing as a peaceful passing. I am so sorry.

MissusB's picture
Posts: 112
Joined: Jul 2011

Praying for you both, Don and Judy. ((hugs))

mardigras's picture
Posts: 207
Joined: Sep 2011

Dear Judy and Don, words cannot convey how difficult this news is to take in.
Judy, you have been such an inspiration and joy to know and I do hope that you
will post here again.
Bless Don and give him peace and comfort and give you strength to keep his spirits
up as you always do.
My prayers are with you.
Love and hugs
Marci x

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