Okay..talk to me
Comments
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Jackie
Jackie, I have not dealt with this and my heart is breaking for you and your husband. The best advice I can give and what I would do if it were my husband is call the doctor. He needs to be seen by his doctor and treated. I know his doctor will want to see him, especially now with these new problems.
I pray that he will go. If not, would it be possible to call someone else to make sure that he goes? Family, friends or even an ambulance?
I am so very sorry Jackie..I just don't know what else to say except that I am praying for both of you.
Sue
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Sue...Is this the end?Ritzy said:Jackie
Jackie, I have not dealt with this and my heart is breaking for you and your husband. The best advice I can give and what I would do if it were my husband is call the doctor. He needs to be seen by his doctor and treated. I know his doctor will want to see him, especially now with these new problems.
I pray that he will go. If not, would it be possible to call someone else to make sure that he goes? Family, friends or even an ambulance?
I am so very sorry Jackie..I just don't know what else to say except that I am praying for both of you.
Sue
We went to the dr Thursday and I told the dr that I felt like there had been a decline. My husband was very angry with me for calling the dr. He did not want anyone to know he wasn't feeling well. The dr did a cbc and his numbers, the dr said, was good. Of course, I know that, but Cbc does not tell how cancer is doing...we found this out. They watch those counts just to see how the blood reacts to chemo. They gave him steroids. Since he is not eating, he is not taking.LORD...I don't know what to do. My husband is talking in between sleeping, and he is drinking some juice. But he won't come out of his room- only to the restroom. Since Thursday, he has gotten weaker and not sat up. While we were at the dr and the dr asked how was he doing, he just said chemo feeling that he couldn't shake. But I see him grimacing...Tomorrow I have to work again, but I will come home and check on him. I am a 5 min. drive from him.0 -
I'm sorry you're going through this JackieJackieA said:Sue...Is this the end?
We went to the dr Thursday and I told the dr that I felt like there had been a decline. My husband was very angry with me for calling the dr. He did not want anyone to know he wasn't feeling well. The dr did a cbc and his numbers, the dr said, was good. Of course, I know that, but Cbc does not tell how cancer is doing...we found this out. They watch those counts just to see how the blood reacts to chemo. They gave him steroids. Since he is not eating, he is not taking.LORD...I don't know what to do. My husband is talking in between sleeping, and he is drinking some juice. But he won't come out of his room- only to the restroom. Since Thursday, he has gotten weaker and not sat up. While we were at the dr and the dr asked how was he doing, he just said chemo feeling that he couldn't shake. But I see him grimacing...Tomorrow I have to work again, but I will come home and check on him. I am a 5 min. drive from him.
I agree with Sue, if he's showing these symptoms, maybe admitting him to the hospital would be the best thing. I know how hard it is to do this when they refuse to go but you would know best how he's really doing from just observing him. If you feel alarmed by anything, like Sue said, maybe call someone to help you or call EMS.
Praying for you,
Sylvia0 -
Hi Jackie -- I'm very sorry
Hi Jackie -- I'm very sorry you're are experiencing this. Caring for someone going through c is just as hard in - in my opinion - so my respects go out to you.
When I was on chemo I didn't have bowel movement for about 10-12 days. I had to take stool softener and they doubled the dosage for me - I was on 10 pills a day! It got to a point where they suggested I went into the hospital so they do it manually. Thank God I was able to go, but it was no picnic and I had bleeding for several weeks after that when going. It did stop and now I am doing better (finished chemo in July). Although I wasn't eating much, I was still processing foods and it is very important to have bowel movements for the body not to have toxic and for the intestines to be able to work normal. I urge you to take this seriously and talk to him about it. Once he goes into the hospital, they can check other symptoms he may be having.
You must have a lot of patience and I know it is very hard physically and emotionally. But perhaps try different approaches - perhaps try getting to his emotions by expressing yours. Tell him you are hunger to help him and you are going through a lot of pain yourself because he is not letting you care for him. That you want to help him, but he must help you help him - that you can't do it alone. It's sometimes best to uncover the hidden feeling inside of our hearts in order for others to realize how much we really care and why it is we do it.
I wonder if he feels like a burden? I don't know the situation but many cancer patients develop this feeling not allowing the caregiver to care for them. It is so hard to figure out how they feel and how to help them, but I think by expressing some words of concern and love may help your situation. Just a thought. (Tell him you love caring for him, look into his eyes, hold his hands...and it's also ok to cry...).
I hope this situations solves itself soon. Please keep us posted.
You and your family are in my prayers.0 -
I agreeSIROD said:Call Oncologist ASAP
Hi,
I am so sorry for the ordeal you and your husband are dealing with at this time. You do need to call his oncologist or the onco nurse asap.
You need to take charge for him.
Best wishes,
Doris
I agree with Doris. You should call his doctor, even if he doesnt want you to do it.
I'm so sorry you're both going through this. Prayers and good thoughts are going out for you.
Marge0 -
Jackie my heart breaksLoveBabyJesus said:Hi Jackie -- I'm very sorry
Hi Jackie -- I'm very sorry you're are experiencing this. Caring for someone going through c is just as hard in - in my opinion - so my respects go out to you.
When I was on chemo I didn't have bowel movement for about 10-12 days. I had to take stool softener and they doubled the dosage for me - I was on 10 pills a day! It got to a point where they suggested I went into the hospital so they do it manually. Thank God I was able to go, but it was no picnic and I had bleeding for several weeks after that when going. It did stop and now I am doing better (finished chemo in July). Although I wasn't eating much, I was still processing foods and it is very important to have bowel movements for the body not to have toxic and for the intestines to be able to work normal. I urge you to take this seriously and talk to him about it. Once he goes into the hospital, they can check other symptoms he may be having.
You must have a lot of patience and I know it is very hard physically and emotionally. But perhaps try different approaches - perhaps try getting to his emotions by expressing yours. Tell him you are hunger to help him and you are going through a lot of pain yourself because he is not letting you care for him. That you want to help him, but he must help you help him - that you can't do it alone. It's sometimes best to uncover the hidden feeling inside of our hearts in order for others to realize how much we really care and why it is we do it.
I wonder if he feels like a burden? I don't know the situation but many cancer patients develop this feeling not allowing the caregiver to care for them. It is so hard to figure out how they feel and how to help them, but I think by expressing some words of concern and love may help your situation. Just a thought. (Tell him you love caring for him, look into his eyes, hold his hands...and it's also ok to cry...).
I hope this situations solves itself soon. Please keep us posted.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Jackie,
I am very sorry. Your situation breaks my heart, especially since the doctor is not helping to manage it. I am also sorry that your husband lost hope in medical assistance and does not want to talk to the doctor at all.
Since he did not have bowel movements for 2weeks his body keeps all by-products inside and I am not surprised that he does not want to eat. I am a strong believer in quality of life and fighting to the very end.
IF you can convince him to take constipation medication he will see improvement in his condition.
Please Reach out and seek medical help.
Hugs
New Flower0 -
Jackie...LoveBabyJesus said:Hi Jackie -- I'm very sorry
Hi Jackie -- I'm very sorry you're are experiencing this. Caring for someone going through c is just as hard in - in my opinion - so my respects go out to you.
When I was on chemo I didn't have bowel movement for about 10-12 days. I had to take stool softener and they doubled the dosage for me - I was on 10 pills a day! It got to a point where they suggested I went into the hospital so they do it manually. Thank God I was able to go, but it was no picnic and I had bleeding for several weeks after that when going. It did stop and now I am doing better (finished chemo in July). Although I wasn't eating much, I was still processing foods and it is very important to have bowel movements for the body not to have toxic and for the intestines to be able to work normal. I urge you to take this seriously and talk to him about it. Once he goes into the hospital, they can check other symptoms he may be having.
You must have a lot of patience and I know it is very hard physically and emotionally. But perhaps try different approaches - perhaps try getting to his emotions by expressing yours. Tell him you are hunger to help him and you are going through a lot of pain yourself because he is not letting you care for him. That you want to help him, but he must help you help him - that you can't do it alone. It's sometimes best to uncover the hidden feeling inside of our hearts in order for others to realize how much we really care and why it is we do it.
I wonder if he feels like a burden? I don't know the situation but many cancer patients develop this feeling not allowing the caregiver to care for them. It is so hard to figure out how they feel and how to help them, but I think by expressing some words of concern and love may help your situation. Just a thought. (Tell him you love caring for him, look into his eyes, hold his hands...and it's also ok to cry...).
I hope this situations solves itself soon. Please keep us posted.
You and your family are in my prayers.
So terribly sorry you both are going through....Love, with her above post has excellent suggestions....Jackie do you think he has given up ? He sounds horribly depressed, also...is he on any anti depressants? If not try and get some from his physician....also...do you think he would in any way read any of our posts on this board? There are more than a few of us that are Stage IV...including myself....any of us, including myself, would be happy to respond to him in a private message if he weren't comfortable with the " public forum"....AND there are men also on this board...some even Stage IV...they, again, could possibly help him in understanding this isn't just a woman's disease...could there be some shame factor going on? God Bless him...
His not willing to eat is a real problem. Try some Boost Or Ensure if you haven 't already..his side pain could be the result of a bowel impaction...that can be horribly painful....if he won't speak honestly to his oncologist you need to...no holding back....it's the only way his doctors can help...be his advocate....even if he doesn't like it! Call his physician tomorrow!
Wish I could be of more help.....I will keep you both in my prayers...please keep us posted and keep posting...
Hugs,Nancy0 -
Bump up...mwallace1325 said:I agree
I agree with Doris. You should call his doctor, even if he doesnt want you to do it.
I'm so sorry you're both going through this. Prayers and good thoughts are going out for you.
Marge
Bumping this back up....this young woman and her husband need encouragement....0 -
so sorry you are going
so sorry you are going through this...
my heart goes out to you..
Denise0 -
Jackie .. gentle hugs coming your way ..MAJW said:Bump up...
Bumping this back up....this young woman and her husband need encouragement....
You have so much going on --- pulled in many directions your life, ground beneath your feet --is crumbling -- grab onto any branch or ledge that will help you maintain your sanity, and faith -- and love.
Life has stages, and I am so sorry that your husband and family are suffering in this stage of life and your marriage -- I hope and pray that you and your husband continue to fight strong and together. Otherwise, you take the reins and fight on like the WARRIOR you are!
I am so sorry that you are going thru all of this, stay strong. You have wonderful insightful instincts, so listen to your heart.
Strength, Courage, Love and Hope.
Vicki Sam0 -
I was there not too long ago
Jackie,
On October 18th my husband fell, that was the last time he was up. He was bed bound after that and not eating. For almost a month he had nothing to eat, only pee'd until he got his catheter one week before his passing. He didn't want to die of a drug overdose or from his diabetes so we had a set schedule with those. He wanted to die of cancer and that is exactly what he did. It was hard. His last bm was a few days before October 18th. My husband was a very stubborn man, seems that most men are. It took me up to the day before he died to get a hospital bed in here. But I did respect his wishes, he wanted to die at home. It was a very difficult thing to go through for both of us. He stopped his morphine a day before, never understood why except for maybe the taste of it. You can only do so much and respect his wishes until he is no longer able to give his wishes. But you can put your foot down if you think it is going to help him be more comfortable and that is the way you have to approach it..."honey, this is so you can be more comfortable". I hope that this helps.
Thanks for listening!
~Kelly
RIP Mark Scoville 11/14/11 @ 11:32 am EDT0 -
I am sorry Jackie that thisSIROD said:Call Oncologist ASAP
Hi,
I am so sorry for the ordeal you and your husband are dealing with at this time. You do need to call his oncologist or the onco nurse asap.
You need to take charge for him.
Best wishes,
Doris
I am sorry Jackie that this is happening. I feel so bad for you and your husband. I agree to call his oncologist, or, like Ritzy said, get some other help involved.
Prayers and big hugs,
Debby0 -
well we are at hospitalKLScoville said:I was there not too long ago
Jackie,
On October 18th my husband fell, that was the last time he was up. He was bed bound after that and not eating. For almost a month he had nothing to eat, only pee'd until he got his catheter one week before his passing. He didn't want to die of a drug overdose or from his diabetes so we had a set schedule with those. He wanted to die of cancer and that is exactly what he did. It was hard. His last bm was a few days before October 18th. My husband was a very stubborn man, seems that most men are. It took me up to the day before he died to get a hospital bed in here. But I did respect his wishes, he wanted to die at home. It was a very difficult thing to go through for both of us. He stopped his morphine a day before, never understood why except for maybe the taste of it. You can only do so much and respect his wishes until he is no longer able to give his wishes. But you can put your foot down if you think it is going to help him be more comfortable and that is the way you have to approach it..."honey, this is so you can be more comfortable". I hope that this helps.
Thanks for listening!
~Kelly
RIP Mark Scoville 11/14/11 @ 11:32 am EDT
Since last night he has been admitted to the hospital. He woke up vomiting this morning and having this awful pain and wanted to go to the hospital and we did. They did some test to see if he had some intestinal issues and he did not. So now we are in limbo, don't know what is going on. Dr. wants to get pain undercontrol. What does that mean? I don't know. We have been here before when they did all of this testing. Does that mean that they will just try different meds just to see which one works? or does that mean testing to see what is causing the pain?0 -
Tell Your Husband How MuchJackieA said:Sue...Is this the end?
We went to the dr Thursday and I told the dr that I felt like there had been a decline. My husband was very angry with me for calling the dr. He did not want anyone to know he wasn't feeling well. The dr did a cbc and his numbers, the dr said, was good. Of course, I know that, but Cbc does not tell how cancer is doing...we found this out. They watch those counts just to see how the blood reacts to chemo. They gave him steroids. Since he is not eating, he is not taking.LORD...I don't know what to do. My husband is talking in between sleeping, and he is drinking some juice. But he won't come out of his room- only to the restroom. Since Thursday, he has gotten weaker and not sat up. While we were at the dr and the dr asked how was he doing, he just said chemo feeling that he couldn't shake. But I see him grimacing...Tomorrow I have to work again, but I will come home and check on him. I am a 5 min. drive from him.
Jackie, tell your husband how much you love him and need him repeatedly. If he won't come out of the room, when you are home, stay in there with him, and if he won't sit up, lay down with him.
Ballerina0 -
you are so rightBallerina said:Tell Your Husband How Much
Jackie, tell your husband how much you love him and need him repeatedly. If he won't come out of the room, when you are home, stay in there with him, and if he won't sit up, lay down with him.
Ballerina
Well, Ballerina, he is in the hospital. HE was so sick this morning that he could not function. I came home just so that I could rest tonight. We have a son, and right now, no one to look after him. My aunt, God Bless her, will be here to help tomorrow. Thank you all so much for your so kind words and thoughts. I am so grateful.0 -
Ask...JackieA said:well we are at hospital
Since last night he has been admitted to the hospital. He woke up vomiting this morning and having this awful pain and wanted to go to the hospital and we did. They did some test to see if he had some intestinal issues and he did not. So now we are in limbo, don't know what is going on. Dr. wants to get pain undercontrol. What does that mean? I don't know. We have been here before when they did all of this testing. Does that mean that they will just try different meds just to see which one works? or does that mean testing to see what is causing the pain?
His oncologist all these questions....or any physician that is treating your husband....don't let them intimidate you ..sounds like your husband has many issues that need addressed with his physicians....wish we could answer all these for you....
Keep posting....we care
Hugs, Nancy0 -
I agree with Miss Nancy ---MAJW said:Ask...
His oncologist all these questions....or any physician that is treating your husband....don't let them intimidate you ..sounds like your husband has many issues that need addressed with his physicians....wish we could answer all these for you....
Keep posting....we care
Hugs, Nancy
have physicians -- write everything down .. step 1) testing (MRI or cat scan), step 2) CBC, step 3) etc .. ask why, and what physicians may be looking for ..
Also ... ask for each physicians -- cell number so you can contact them after hours without calling office exchange -- going nuts waiting for a call back.!!
Push back .. you need guidance along with answers.. You ARE your husband's best health ADVOCATE at this point in time, Jackie.
Positive thoughts and Prayers for you ..
Strength, Courage and Hope.
Vicki Sam0 -
I hope the doctors can findJackieA said:well we are at hospital
Since last night he has been admitted to the hospital. He woke up vomiting this morning and having this awful pain and wanted to go to the hospital and we did. They did some test to see if he had some intestinal issues and he did not. So now we are in limbo, don't know what is going on. Dr. wants to get pain undercontrol. What does that mean? I don't know. We have been here before when they did all of this testing. Does that mean that they will just try different meds just to see which one works? or does that mean testing to see what is causing the pain?
I hope the doctors can find out what is giving him the pain now that your husband is in the hospital. Update us Jackie when you find out something.
Praying for you and Kip,
Diane0 -
updateDianeBC said:I hope the doctors can find
I hope the doctors can find out what is giving him the pain now that your husband is in the hospital. Update us Jackie when you find out something.
Praying for you and Kip,
Diane
Dr said his disease has not progressed. Took ct on chest and stomach...that's it. Bowels inflammed. I don't know what is going on. He feels crappy and not eating. They are checking calcium and magnesium. They are holding up on the chemo. But he just feel crappy. I need some answers and it does not seem like the dr is giving me the straight on things. If the disease is not progressing does that mean it is getting better?0
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