I have been following this board for some time.
And I have to say I admire you all for your feistiness.
I think I lost to cancer. Cancer broke my spirit and
made me invisible.I was alone to begin with, busy chasing
a career. Now my loneliness, is just unbearable. Looking
my own mortality in the face, it just seems like I wasted
a life time. Worst of all, I never even really had any success.
No success, no family - what should I fight for?
I haven't left my house in over 3 months. When I do
I usually come home and cry. I hate the looks I get
and am tired of pretending that I don't care. Tired
of being cheerful and overly hopeful. I had the full
cancer special - chemo, radiation and two surgeries...
I know what you are going to say, support group.
Been there, after the meeting everyone returns to
their lives no one cares. it's all talk, SO MUCH talk.
I played the game, even threw parties- wigs and all.
Why do I have to pretend, when I really feel like I can't
go on anymore. No correction, I don't want to. If I have
gotten only this far in life before cancer, it seems to me
my future is bleak.
sorry if I depressed anyone... but it's not all honkey dory
in cancer land.