How do I hang on?

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tat2granny
tat2granny Member Posts: 77
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Just got the news yesterday. Cancer! How do you NOT think about it 24/7?
«13

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  • shortscake
    shortscake Member Posts: 228
    #2
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    welcome
    welcome to the group that no ones wants to be apart of but one thing for sure you will get a lot of answers to your questions no matter what time you post them, you will also get a lot of info from some very nice people did they tell you what type of cancer? what stage? i got my dx in nov and i think about it all the time 24/7. it becomes a part of your life but it doesn't have to becomes you, hope you understand what i am trying to say. just sit back and get ready for the battle of you life.
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #3
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    Welcome to our group. It's
    Welcome to our group. It's almost impossible not to think about it 24/7 when you first find out. There are so many unanswered questions that you have. What procedures have been performed and what have they told you? The treatment depends on the diagnosis, so it's hard to say what you'll endure. I can tell you everything is doable and this is a great group of knowledgeable, caring, supporting and loving people. We'll be here to hold your hand through all your treatments. Try not to worry, I know easier said than done. Keep us updated and take care of yourself.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #4
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    You've joined a group of
    You've joined a group of some of the most compassionate, knowledgable people you'll ever meet. We are all in the same boat, walking this walk together. Some have already walked the walk and are here to support us, and there are those of us who are currently in treatment, and collectively we all support each other. There are days when we are down and days when we are up, but be sure you can always get an answer any day or any time right on these boards up or down.
  • helen e
    helen e Member Posts: 223
    #5
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    We're here for you
    We're all sorry to welcome you to our group but will do everything we can to help you through it. I just had a mastectomy almost 2 weeks ago and don't know how I would have gotten through it without these women (and men) on this board. We may not have any answers but we have experiences that we will share with you that we hope will be helpful. Anytime, day or night just post and there will be someone here to help. Again, I'm sorry.

    Helen
  • ms_independent
    ms_independent Member Posts: 214
    #6
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    so sorry
    I'm so sorry you have been diagnosed. You will get an amazing amount of support from a really super group of ladies (mostly ladies anyway). You won't be able to stop thinking about it 24/7 for a while. That's ok--give yourself permission to think and feel whatever you need to. I was diagnosed about 3 weeks ago and had surgery last week--I still think about it A LOT. I kept feeling like something on the outside of me should show what was going on on the inside----like people should be able to tell just by looking at me. How could something so life altering not be visible to everyone? Be gentle with your self and begin learning to ask for what you need. Most people are more than happy to help you in their way. Best of luck!

    Hugs, El
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #7
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    Well, for today, and the
    Well, for today, and the next forseeable tomorrows, there is no way you CAN'T think about it 24/7...but once you have a game plan, and rally the troops ( which now includes all of us at your side!) and take charge of not just doing battle with, but Killing the Beast, it won't loom ever so large, and won't invade all of your waking moments.
    As you will see from these boards, we talk about our vacations, our shopping excursions, parties we go to, children and grandchildren, silliness, downright goofiness, and yes, the Serious Things, too. I always say this is a safe place to land~ we understand all of the emotions tied up not so prettily with a cancer diagnosis.

    But take heart~ you are our past, and we are your future. And if you feel an unexpected tug on your fingers, don't be alarmed, it's just all of us taking hold and pulling you through to Life After Cancer.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #8
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    You do think about it 24/7
    At least at first. There is so much information and feelings to absorb and sort through that it's pretty hard to think of anything else for a while.

    So sorry for your diagnosis, but you are very lucky to have found this site so quickly. You will find this to be a great resource for information and real-life experiences, inspiration from those who've gone through this and are still hanging around here to share their wisdom, as well as sympathy and laughter.

    You will get through this, and your sisters here have your back as you do.

    Take care,
    Cindy
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #9
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    Welcome

    All though I am sorry you have cause to be here I am glad you found us. You are at the beginning and it is a scary place to be. It is nearly impossible not to think about cancer 24/7 at the start, but trust me it will get better with time, as Chen so eloquently stated. Once you have begun to battle the beast you will at least feel that you are actively doing something about it. It is doable and there is life after cancer, good life, life filled with laughter and joy. We are here for you come back as often as you need to and ask as many and whatever questions you have. There is a wealth of experience here and a lot of support and caring. My best to you my new friend.

    ♥ RE ♥
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    #10
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    RE said:

    Welcome

    All though I am sorry you have cause to be here I am glad you found us. You are at the beginning and it is a scary place to be. It is nearly impossible not to think about cancer 24/7 at the start, but trust me it will get better with time, as Chen so eloquently stated. Once you have begun to battle the beast you will at least feel that you are actively doing something about it. It is doable and there is life after cancer, good life, life filled with laughter and joy. We are here for you come back as often as you need to and ask as many and whatever questions you have. There is a wealth of experience here and a lot of support and caring. My best to you my new friend.

    ♥ RE ♥

    My dear tat,
    Welcome to our
    My dear tat,
    Welcome to our family, where you will find an abundance of information, support, and a place to vent as much as you want. Being at the beginning of this journey is scary, and all of who have been there can certainly relate to your apprehension and the "24/7" experience. However, once you begin treatment, the journey will seem easier, and you can certainly call on this board to help with any kind of question you may have arise. We are so fortunate to have found each other...there is nothing like having someone who has been there, done that to call upon when you truly need answers. I don't know what I would have done had it not been for the kindness I have found on this board. It truly has taken me from the bottomless pit to the highest star in the sky. Try to stay focused on what you are facing, but don't let it completely take over your life. Breath deep, and let's start your journey together. Good luck, and keep us posted on how things are going.

    Hugs,

    Judy
  • Maize
    Maize Member Posts: 76
    #11
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    We are with you
    I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. For the longest time, I felt like I was a spectator in someone else life. I still feel good with the exception of the surgical site. But I had cancer---the surgeon removed it, I pray.... The Serenity pray gets a lot of use by me. Understanding it and practicing its meaning helps me. Best wishes to you. Know that we care and are here for you.

    Maize
  • LadyParvati
    LadyParvati Member Posts: 328
    #12
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    It's normal to think about it 24/7
    As the others have said, it's really normal to think about it 24/7 for several weeks or months. A nurse told me that this would be my focus in life for the next year, and I have found that it is really hard not to let it take over even though I don't want it to do so. Even with Christmas here, I'm having to schedule all holiday activities & get-togethers around my chemo schedule. But I know that my cancer diagnosis doesn't destroy Christmas even though it influences how we are doing Christmas.

    It's OK to think about it 24/7 right now. You have decisions to make, and you need to learn a lot in order to make those decisions right for you. Give yourself permission to focus on this urgency right now, and forgive yourself for what you simply cannot do. Try to do what you need to do to be at peace with your decisions. Remember, the biggest gift you can give your family and yourself is your LOVE.

    Hang in there! Sandy
  • terri805
    terri805 Member Posts: 122
    #13
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    so sorry
    Tat2granny,

    So sorry that you are worrying 24/7. I was just given the "bad news" a week ago this past Friday. I could not stop thinking about it at all. I cried pretty much for 2 days non stop. It is def a shock and there is so much unknown that everything goes through your mind and I have three kids still at home and I cried for them. All within a weeks time I was dx, mri, and surgery. I came to this site terrified and after all the positive women and men here going through the many different stages and treatments I thought, look at what everyone here is dealing with, and with all the support and encouragement that they gave me I said to myself "if all these people can go through all this and still be positive then I can to".I must admit though that from time to time I catch myself falling back to obsessing but I come on this site and read and it gives me courage to fight again. I am sure that you will find yourself on a roller coaster of emotions as well. I know it is very hard to not think about it but try to educate yourself through the different cancer websites and read the comments on this site and you will find that it really helps to talk to others that are now going through what you are or have already gone through it. May God help you through this very difficult time. My prayers are with you.
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #14
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    welcome.. sorry you have to
    welcome.. sorry you have to be here .. I was diagnosed In Oct I am 38 and my whole world has been turned upside down... I could not eat, sleep . talk without thinking about cancer.... but now I have had surgery, 2 chemo treatments and even though I still think about cancer everyday I think about getting rid of it!!!It will forever be on my mind but will also make me more aware of staying healthy.. and enjoying lifes joys (big and small) I am not sure if this helps or not I hope it does... happy holidays.....take care...Lisa xoxo
  • tat2granny
    tat2granny Member Posts: 77
    #15
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    shortscake said:

    welcome
    welcome to the group that no ones wants to be apart of but one thing for sure you will get a lot of answers to your questions no matter what time you post them, you will also get a lot of info from some very nice people did they tell you what type of cancer? what stage? i got my dx in nov and i think about it all the time 24/7. it becomes a part of your life but it doesn't have to becomes you, hope you understand what i am trying to say. just sit back and get ready for the battle of you life.

    Another question
    All they have told me so far is that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) And a lot that tells me lol Nothing yet about what stage. I guess the trip to the doctor Jan 5 will tell me a lot. Thanks to all that replied! I know all of you have been in the same crappy boat I'm in and that helps a lot. Just knowing there are women out there at care really helps. Just one more question if you don't mind. How in the world do all these people think it helps when they see you cry and say,,"It's going to be ok,,you'll be fine?" What do you say without sounding like an idiot? I want to say "No it's not going to be alright! Good Lord I Have Cancer!"
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #16
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    newbiefromcananda said:

    welcome.. sorry you have to
    welcome.. sorry you have to be here .. I was diagnosed In Oct I am 38 and my whole world has been turned upside down... I could not eat, sleep . talk without thinking about cancer.... but now I have had surgery, 2 chemo treatments and even though I still think about cancer everyday I think about getting rid of it!!!It will forever be on my mind but will also make me more aware of staying healthy.. and enjoying lifes joys (big and small) I am not sure if this helps or not I hope it does... happy holidays.....take care...Lisa xoxo

    At first it is terrifying,
    At first it is terrifying, and so surreal, you just want to sob. But once you start treatments, you will become stronger because you know that you will need to fight with every breath you take. You will be angry at it, but you will be able to beat it
  • tat2granny
    tat2granny Member Posts: 77
    #17
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    meena1 said:

    At first it is terrifying,
    At first it is terrifying, and so surreal, you just want to sob. But once you start treatments, you will become stronger because you know that you will need to fight with every breath you take. You will be angry at it, but you will be able to beat it

    About anger
    I guess from what I have read here that anger at "The Beast" is one of the best ways to fight. I have always been a fighter,growing up with 3 brothers I had to. So I guess I have to look at this thing as a Beast to fight. Thanks to all that have answered. I'll check back later, am off to work. Thank God I have a great boss and it's a woman! And hope I don't have to miss a lot of work.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #18
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    tat2granny said:

    Another question
    All they have told me so far is that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) And a lot that tells me lol Nothing yet about what stage. I guess the trip to the doctor Jan 5 will tell me a lot. Thanks to all that replied! I know all of you have been in the same crappy boat I'm in and that helps a lot. Just knowing there are women out there at care really helps. Just one more question if you don't mind. How in the world do all these people think it helps when they see you cry and say,,"It's going to be ok,,you'll be fine?" What do you say without sounding like an idiot? I want to say "No it's not going to be alright! Good Lord I Have Cancer!"

    Tat I have Stage 2 IDC,
    Tat I have Stage 2 IDC, estrogen positive. We have a topic here about the stupid things people say to us. I'll try to find it and push it up for you to see. If you get a chance read it, it will give you some peace and even a laugh or 2. I could have screamed everytime someone told me it was going to be ok. I wanted to say 'How do you know its going to be ok. Are you a doctor or have you been thru this?" I felt like they were negating my reality, a cancer diagnosis. People mean well but they dont know what to say, they are scared for us and think if they tell us its going to be ok that will make us feel better, well it doesnt. I wanted the phone calls to stop with all their #$%*&@ (darn) questions it infuriated me. Slowly but surely I let people know that yes it was tough, its surgery, its chemo, its nausea, its low blood counts, and I didnt want to talk about it anymore. People wanted to ask their questions and talk about what they wanted to talk about, and I just overtalked them and gave them the unpleasant details and then they stopped asking.

    Its best to discuss this with people who have been thru this. They understand as no others can. It's really difficult for people to understand this cancer stuff. Its not like you get surgery and then you recuperate and then its done. this is an ongoing process and you will get all the support, love and hope you need right here on these boards.
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    #19
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    tat2granny said:

    About anger
    I guess from what I have read here that anger at "The Beast" is one of the best ways to fight. I have always been a fighter,growing up with 3 brothers I had to. So I guess I have to look at this thing as a Beast to fight. Thanks to all that have answered. I'll check back later, am off to work. Thank God I have a great boss and it's a woman! And hope I don't have to miss a lot of work.

    Tat, I've been dxed with IDC
    Tat, I've been dxed with IDC Stage 2A since Sept. and still haven't had surgery but its coming in Feb. The drs. decided to shrink my tumors first and then have surgery. For the most part its still all ahead of me but in the past couple of months, I'm coming to terms with having bc. It overwhelmed me at first and its always on my mind but just knowing I have a plan has helped me. And the only place that I can express myself is right here with all these courageous women. They understand, are comforting and supportive. You can pick up a wealth of knowledge here too. Family and friends don't really understand what you're going thru and most don't know what to say. They want to help and be supportive, just don't know how. I've learned to cut them some slack and forgive them when they bungle thru in their remarks. I'm not always fine but I know I'll be fine and that helps me in responding. Sorry you're here with us but be assured you are in a safe place. Keep us posted on your diagnosis. Sending you a lot of hugs.
  • Dot53
    Dot53 Member Posts: 239 Member
    #20
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    Hi T
    You just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walkin cross the floor. Just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walkin out the door!

    That's the song I sing to myself everyday... and remember we are all here for you.

    Best wishes,
    Dot
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #21
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    Dot53 said:

    Hi T
    You just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walkin cross the floor. Just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walkin out the door!

    That's the song I sing to myself everyday... and remember we are all here for you.

    Best wishes,
    Dot

    You have received good
    You have received good advice so I will just say we are all here for you 24/7.
    Stef

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