Just diagnosed Stage IV

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Hi! My 52-yr old sweetheart just got the diagnosis. Is anyone out there in the same boat? I'm looking for suggestions, hope, helpful, info.

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  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
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    You'll find lots of all three

    You'll find lots of all three here. Sorry for the reason you're here but welcome. I'm a stage three, diagnosed at 50.

    Jan

  • sammer4u
    sammer4u Member Posts: 37
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    Stage IV

    I was diagnoised November 4, 2011 with stage IV colon cancer, spread to the liver.  I am still here.  I had a tumor removed, a colostomy bag, 12 rounds of chemo, 9 surgies, one of which a liver resection (70% of the liver).  And I am doing well.  Have not felt better, going for a check up next month!  So far all has been clear and good to go.  Postiive thoughts are the key.  Never look back!  I was 41 when diagnoised.  Need more answers, advice let me know! Today all I can say was that it was one rough year, but that year is a blur now.  

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
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    Stay Strong!

    I had stage 3 rectal cancer so I cant give you first hand advise about Stage 4, but unfortunatelly there are many friends here that can.

    My only advise to you and your sweethart is to stay mentally strong. She/he is the same person with all her/his wisdom, skills and beauty, she/he just happens to have cancer and it is not the end of the world. Most people live a happy productive life with a lot of difficulty I have to ad, but its duable. This is the only life you got. Make it the best.

    Laz

  • europeantiger
    europeantiger Member Posts: 7
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    JanJan63 said:

    You'll find lots of all three

    You'll find lots of all three here. Sorry for the reason you're here but welcome. I'm a stage three, diagnosed at 50.

    Jan

    Thank you

    Jan, may I ask? when were you diagnosed and is there something you wish you had known earlier that I can pass on to my man?

    Maria

  • europeantiger
    europeantiger Member Posts: 7
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    sammer4u said:

    Stage IV

    I was diagnoised November 4, 2011 with stage IV colon cancer, spread to the liver.  I am still here.  I had a tumor removed, a colostomy bag, 12 rounds of chemo, 9 surgies, one of which a liver resection (70% of the liver).  And I am doing well.  Have not felt better, going for a check up next month!  So far all has been clear and good to go.  Postiive thoughts are the key.  Never look back!  I was 41 when diagnoised.  Need more answers, advice let me know! Today all I can say was that it was one rough year, but that year is a blur now.  

    What a trip

    Thank you for sharing! My man's spread to lungs and lymph. First surgery will be next week. I am so happy you are still here. Maria

  • europeantiger
    europeantiger Member Posts: 7
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    lp1964 said:

    Stay Strong!

    I had stage 3 rectal cancer so I cant give you first hand advise about Stage 4, but unfortunatelly there are many friends here that can.

    My only advise to you and your sweethart is to stay mentally strong. She/he is the same person with all her/his wisdom, skills and beauty, she/he just happens to have cancer and it is not the end of the world. Most people live a happy productive life with a lot of difficulty I have to ad, but its duable. This is the only life you got. Make it the best.

    Laz

    Thank you

    for the encouragement. He is the love of my life and is an angel in a human body. I am very hopeful, even though the doc has given him a rather grim prognosis. We will make it the best and remain focused on hope. Maria

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
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    Thank you

    for the encouragement. He is the love of my life and is an angel in a human body. I am very hopeful, even though the doc has given him a rather grim prognosis. We will make it the best and remain focused on hope. Maria

    I was diagnosed on Dec 31,

    I was diagnosed on Dec 31, 2013. I wish I could think of something that might help but everyone's journey is different. The surgery was rough but I had unexpected complications so that made it worse. I'm sorry they gave him a grim prognosis. It's supposed to be the most treatable cancer out there. Don't give up yet, try to stay positive, there are plenty of people on here that have not only beaten the odds but are living good lives.

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
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    I'm stage III, currently (and

    I'm stage III, currently (and praying permanently) NED but I just want to show my support=)  Helen

  • fatbob2010
    fatbob2010 Member Posts: 467 Member
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    Welcome

    Glad you found us, sorry your here!!

     I was diagnosed last summer since had two surgeries and chemp.  Take things one day at a time and enjoy each day to the fullest you can.  There will be a range of emotions from despair and anger to elation.  This walk is a roller coaster of emotion that is a marathon; not a sprint.

    Feel free to ask ANY question and I can say with certainty that there will be someone who can offer support and information.

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
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    Welcome

    Welcome to the boards.  Here you will find a lot of knowledge, support and caring.  Please give us a little more info if you can.  Has he started treatment, having surgery, radiation?  We are here to answer and help you any way we can.  There are a lot here that can help you both get through this. 

    Kim

  • europeantiger
    europeantiger Member Posts: 7
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    His situation... Thank you all

    for your kind, encouraging messages. Frederick and I are sitting on the floor, day 2 of our journey., which seems a lifetime ago. He has mets in lungs and there is lymph involvement, paraaortic and mesenteric. Surgery of the colon mass will happen very soon, as it threatens to obstruct the transverse colon. ONC will meet with us the end of December to talk about and initiate chemo. That's all we know at the moment.

    Questions we have so far:

    1) Should we get a 2nd opinion regarding treatment?

    2) are there any viable alternative treatments as adjunct therapy?

    3) What's the hardest part of chemo?

    Thank you all for your feedback. I don't feel so alone now...

    Maria

  • Semira
    Semira Member Posts: 381 Member
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    Welcome...

    ... from the 'german branch' of this great board. You found a place full of wisdom and information and many wonderful people.

    I'm caregiver to 47 year old husband who was diagnosed stage IV (mets to liver) on Nov 9th 2011. He had surgery, got a temporary ileostomy, hat 6 months of chemo (Oxaliplatin & Xeloda), Ileostomy takedown after 8 months and clear scans ever since. Last scan 8 weeks ago.

    Take one step at a time and ask questions over questions.

    A hug from Cologne, Germany

    Petra

     

  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
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    You are far from alone. Many

    You are far from alone. Many of of here are stage IV. I have been stage IV for over 9 years. There some other long term stage IV survivors here. We are here to help you in any way we can through our experiences. 

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,796 Member
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    Welcome to the forum, Marie

    I remember, non to fondly, those first weeks after diagnosis. What a roller coaster of emotions it is. The fear, the hope, the overwhelming sense of being out of control. I promise you that it does get better, especially once the Oncologist become a part of the team, and you (your sweetheart) gets moving along with treatment. 

    It sounds like the mass in his colon needs to be addressed first, and the surgery for that can be a big one, and it really depends on his health and wellbeing, how well he recovers from it. The healthier the better of course, so I hope he is eating well and keeping hydrated. 

    You ask a few questions. A second opinion, is always a good thing. I didn't do it myself, and have been pleased with my treatment, but there are many here who have, and it has made a vast difference, because they had issues with their former team. 

    Alternative treatment. I know others can help here. All I have done is tried to make sure I get a really healthy diet. Although I was doing pretty well before my diagnosis. I do meditate and try to do yoga (never was consistent with my exercise).

    The hardest part of chemo differs for each person. Some tolerate it well, others crash to their lowest. I did fair to midland with mine. Fatigue was probably the worst while I was going through the treatment, neuropathy has been the wortst and longest lasting side effect. I didn't get nauseous. I did get mouth sores. Tons of things crashed and I did lose my hair, not completely, I just looked Like Gollom (from Lord of the Rings) so shaved it off. 

    We are here for you and your man, so please come often and ask whatever questions you want. Yeah, even the yukkie ones, because it is bowel cancer after all. We're not squeemish, we can't afford to be. 

    Give your man a hug. 

    Sue - Trubrit


     
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
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    Trubrit said:

    Welcome to the forum, Marie

    I remember, non to fondly, those first weeks after diagnosis. What a roller coaster of emotions it is. The fear, the hope, the overwhelming sense of being out of control. I promise you that it does get better, especially once the Oncologist become a part of the team, and you (your sweetheart) gets moving along with treatment. 

    It sounds like the mass in his colon needs to be addressed first, and the surgery for that can be a big one, and it really depends on his health and wellbeing, how well he recovers from it. The healthier the better of course, so I hope he is eating well and keeping hydrated. 

    You ask a few questions. A second opinion, is always a good thing. I didn't do it myself, and have been pleased with my treatment, but there are many here who have, and it has made a vast difference, because they had issues with their former team. 

    Alternative treatment. I know others can help here. All I have done is tried to make sure I get a really healthy diet. Although I was doing pretty well before my diagnosis. I do meditate and try to do yoga (never was consistent with my exercise).

    The hardest part of chemo differs for each person. Some tolerate it well, others crash to their lowest. I did fair to midland with mine. Fatigue was probably the worst while I was going through the treatment, neuropathy has been the wortst and longest lasting side effect. I didn't get nauseous. I did get mouth sores. Tons of things crashed and I did lose my hair, not completely, I just looked Like Gollom (from Lord of the Rings) so shaved it off. 

    We are here for you and your man, so please come often and ask whatever questions you want. Yeah, even the yukkie ones, because it is bowel cancer after all. We're not squeemish, we can't afford to be. 

    Give your man a hug. 

    Sue - Trubrit


     
    Sorry you have to be here. I

    Sorry you have to be here. I was diagnosed November 2008, stage 4 with a reoccurrence in 2012. Chemo is tough but I still managed to work four, 10 hour days, and two hour commute each day.   One foot in front of the other, is all we can do.  On reoccurrence, I stopped working and went on SS, as the first time I was just trying to save my job and health insurance.  

     

    Second opinion, would probably only be on chemo type if you are going that route. Surgery on colon has to be done. Folfox is usually the first chemo they use on colorectal cancer. 

     

    Stay strong. 

  • tanstaafl
    tanstaafl Member Posts: 1,313 Member
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    4.6y for IV

    Wife had a lot of that distant lymph nodes. It's serious business. We used cimetidine for surgeries to prevent more mets and a lot of other stuff to help chemo.  Click Tanstaafl for the bio.  Might look at the articles linked.

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
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    Stage 3B/Signet Cell

    Welcome and sorry you are here.

    I was Dx'ed 1/13/12 with stage 3b signet cell, right hemi-cholectomy surgery, 6 months of chemo and NED (No Evidence of Disease) which will be 3 years this Jan.

    I was 49 years old at time of Dx.

    Some suggestions:

    • take a notepad to all Dr appts - keep copious notes, ask all questions
    • be careful of internet searches - some stuff is just junk
    • make sure you both like and are comfortable with all your Drs
    • I went all organic with my eating (up to you)
    • get exercise - walking is great for you both

    There are many people on this site with stage 4 - they will post and give you additional advise.

    This is a good place to come for info, to vent, to cry, to laugh and for support.

    Please keep us posted.

  • Easyflip
    Easyflip Member Posts: 588 Member
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    Hi, I'm stage 4 too

    I was initially diagnosed March of 2013. I had a liver met removed 2 months ago. When I was where you are now I got mad, felt sorry for myself, cried and then got busy with a plan. Get a journal and write down everything. I told my surgeon when I was on the table I didn't want a colostomy bag, he removed 2 ft of colon and I don't have a bag. I don't know if it was because I asked him or not but I put it out there. The subsequent journey has been scary and hopeful, happy and sad, depressing and inspiring. What I'm saying is that you'll go through every emotion you can think of magnified times 10. Overall I feel I've done a lot of growing in the last 1 1/2 years And I'm happy despite my cancer. I'm cautiously optimistic now as I'm currently NED and going from scan to scan with fingers crossed. I know it all seems overwhelming now but even stage 4 is curable! Have a positive attitude, proceed 1 step at a time and keep supporting each other. Your man is lucky to have you. Stay strong and good luck!

    Easyflip/Richard

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
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    Hi Maria,

    It's always a good idea to have a second opinion, especially for the surgeon. I talked to 4 before I picked mine and I was very fortunate. Chemo is pretty routine especially at the beginning. It is very important that you are comfortable with the doctors, nurses and the facility, because unfortunatelly you will spent a lot of time there. The mental component and trust is half of the healing.

    Consider to start taking 80mg of Cimetidine (Tagamet) two weeks before the surgery and at least 2 weeks after. It seems to reduce the chance of the cancer spreading during the surgery.

    Laz

  • tanstaafl
    tanstaafl Member Posts: 1,313 Member
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    typo

    typo, 800+ mg of cimetidine/Tagamet.  If the surgeons will buy in, they can replace the proton pump inhibitor to prevent acid aspiration during surgery with even more cimetidine as an already approved treatment.  Search for cimetidine and colon cancer, you'll find lots of info.