scared

denistd said:

Smoking

It is truly imperitive that he quits smoking, if he continues the chances of it coming back is almost guaranteed. I know it is hard to quit, if he must smoke to the vaping, that is not smoke but has the nicotine in it, but quitting altogether is the best route.

I feel the same helplessness

I feel the same helplessness with my partner, he has lung problems..fibrosis,swollen nodes and inflammation but he won't quit smoking and refuses treatment. He's in denial all the time. It dreadful to hear him coughing and sometimes choking. I can't understand why men can be so stubborn. He makes sure I keep my appointments but he refuses to go or walks out before he's seen because they kept him waiting to long. I hope your husband sees the sense to quit smoking I know it's hard but can be done. Good luck.

phrannie51 said:

It sounds to me as tho

many of your hubby's troubles now, are the same as so many of us had at the end of treatment....As long as he's getting nutrition and hydration, it's ok that it comes in shakes, smoothies, Ensure.....whatever.  He can still take his anti-nausea meds to help with that....they aren't just for during chemo. 

As for the smoking....and the fact that he's trying hard to quit tells me he might be very willing to try the e-cigarettes (vaping).....I quit using them, and I was hard core.  Check out some of the smoke shops in your area, they may have the ecigs or.....there may be a shop that caters to ecigs only.  He won't have to go through the withdrawls at the same time he is trying to recover from treatment.  Once he has switched to vaping, he can keep lowering the nicotine content of the "juice"....till voila.....he's either using the ecig with no nicotine or he simply quits the whole thing.

p

My two cents

Prioritize! Hydration and nutrition have to come first. Food isn't necessary as long as your husband is taking in enough Ensure, or the like, daily.  

The decision to quit smoking has to come from your husband.  Am sure he knows and understands the consequences and is reminded by doctors and loved ones. Even though it affects everyone, it is his choice. I think he will come to terms with it but right now, likely overwhelmed with everything.  You might want to have e-cigs or gum available for him but I would encourage you to allow him to do it in his time. It sounds like he is very sensative to being told what to do right now. It has to be hard to know he continues to smoke. Maybe give the topic a rest for a couple of weeks and concentrate on getting the nutrition going in the right direction.  With any luck at all, he will have stopped on his own and there won't be a need to address smoking again. Right now, he may feel like he has lost control, that will pass as he feels better.

God bless

Scared...

I wish the best for you and your husband. But I read where you wrote * he gets so mad at me*  , just remember we get more angry at those we love as we know they will stand by us and forgive us.  I know this is very hard for you.. as I went through similar circumstances when I was the * 24/7 , well almost, her son, my husband helped me *....caregiver for my Mom-in-law who passed with colon cancer, we kept her in her home. She chose no treatment as she was stage 4 and in her 80's. Was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I would do it again if need be. Love and understanding is a powerful thing. Good luck to you and your family. 

wmc said:

Welcome to the H&N Group

Welcome to the H&N group and sorry you need to be here. Just courious where was his tumor? Mine was just above the larynx so I had it to be removed. Stage 3 T3,N0,M0 SSC suprsglottic. no chemo or Rads needed. I also have severe bullous emphysema stage 3. I smoked for 42 years 1 1/2 pk a day. Yes it is hard to quit, but you have to want to quit. What can also help is a straw with a small peace of cotton in it to give resistance, and a cigarette filter on the end. It gives your hands something to do just as if you were smoking. Yes the E-Cigs  will help some, but it is still a foreign substance into the lungs and will cause problems. You will here if you stop smoking your lungs will rebuild themself. Well that is NOT completely true. If it is emphysema, there is no going back  and repairing it, only getting worse over time. Smoking will also increase the odds of a recurrence by a lot. Almost a guarantee.

If he is having trouble eating and keeping it down get the meds from the DR. He might try ice chips and salteen crackers can help some. This is very hard on the lovedones and caretakers. You feel the pain he has but can't take it away. The caretaker must take care of themself before you can take care of him if you are too exhausted. This is a rough road to go down but you can beat the beast. It is life changing and you have a new normal.

Best of luck and we will keep you in our prayers.

Bill

He is doing great!

That diagnosis has a great chance for survival. A lady in my cancer group has had a very difficult time giving up the cigarettes. Hides them from her family and is feeling great guilt over this issue. Being a former smoker I can understand. For the moment lets celebate all of your collective successes. The smoking will  work itself out. Get some rest, The smoking fight is a separate battle that is 100% winnable. Not bad odds at all.

scared

GM,

My wife never dialed 911, but I sounded like I needed it when hacking, gaging and coughing.

He needs to find  a way to manage hydration and nutrition, paramount!  He will feel better, guaranteed.

Smoking, cancer didn’t stop him, but he can. 

Scared, comes and goes.

Old life is out of focus.

New life is what I make it and I make it good, but different.

Good luck,

Matt

You asked me about Acid reflux.....YES

Yes, acid reflux can trigger, or help cause the throat cancer. It is known to be a cause of Esophagus cancer, and my doctors beleved it was a contributing factor to my throat cancer. Smoking was the main reason for me, but the acid reflex they feel helped it too.  I do not have HPV +. It is better or responds to treatment if it is HPV+. Another thing that can be the reason is, it just did, no reason, just being unlucky. Now the important thing is not the "Why", but how are you going to accept and deal with it. Being positive is the best way to beat this beast. Just focus on today, yesterday no longer matters. I have to have my GURD under control so it doesn't burn my throat or my prosthesis in my neck I use to speak with. 

Your husband will get through this as well as you will. It is very hard on the caretakers and loved ones. 

Bill

granmudder said:

So we saw the chemo dr ...

So we saw the chemo dr ... blood works were very good  she said.. calcium levels high though.... im pretty certain it has to do with hydration but he refuses to listen to me she asked him if he wanted to hydrate of course he said no.. ...had a sip of soft drink between 9am  and 2 drove  both ways its close to 2 hours eachway  ..... she noticed a spot on the back of his throat thinks its likely thrush .. started on meds for that again.. but i cant help worrying its something other than thrush i still worry a lot about the smoking ( he has cut down a lot though) . ... his concentration is off... taste buds seem to be coming back a little had a good weekend  actually managed to eat some solid foods...but now he is so terribly constipated  took all the laxotove prescribed but..the pain to try to go is unbearable for him and i dont know how to help:(  ....i think he needs hydration..... again wont listen to me..... lost a few more pounds .. he is quite week tried to help doing some yard work but tired very quickly... im fairly certain this is normal though.... has to have more blood tests tomorrow i think they are monitoring the calcium .. he accuses me of only hearing the negative not the positive i tell him thats not true ... I just want to take care of him so we have to watch all the signs....it is so hard he gets so angry with me then apologises..,.. sorry rambeling again..... we will get through this!!!!!

Yep...Needs to Hydrate.....

The average person needs one half there weight of liquid in ounces. [150lbs = 75oz. of liquid every day] Now throw into the mix, your sick, need more water, you take pain meds, yep more water. If not you will get constipated. Pain meds will add to you being constipated. Soda is not good at this time.[I used to live on Pepsi only] You don't want the caffene or extra sugar, you need water. Take ice chips, and popsicles to hydrate, that helps a lot. If you get to dehydrated the Dr will just stick in an IV of saline. the ld stand by: Chicken broth, chicken noodle soup, and even better and twice the cal. is Cream of chicken soup, 300 cal per can.

Watch out for calcium being too high. That can put you in the hospital to bring it down if too high.

Best to you and keep everyone updated on him, and don't you forget to reat as well.

Bill

granmudder said:

dr we saw in emerg finally go

dr we saw in emerg finally got through to him !! yay he has started drinking water.. down to a pack of cigarettes evry 3 days... started eating a little more... one day one step at a time... thanks everyone for always listening..

That's great

Drinking the water is s good. Now cutting down to a pack lasting three days is GREAT news. I know how hard it is. To help with having something for your hands to do he might try this. Get a straw and cut it down to about the size of a cigarette and put a small amount of cotton in it. Now get the filters for cigerattes and put that on the end. When he has the urge to smoke put the straw in his mouth and just tell yourself I can go just a little longer, and you do. Now the pack lasts four then five days. It helps having something for your hands. I also used Tic tacks. Best of luck and tell him we're proud of him. I'm 12 months and 14 days three hours. Yes I remember my last cigarette was 8/28/2013 @ 8:00 pm and I never had another one. One day at a time. 

Bill