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We are home on hospice care

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2316
Joined: Jan 2009

Dear friends,
We are home. We are here with our two daughters and my mother. Dick's mom and sister are in a house down the street and his best friend is staying at another home. As the day went on yesterday, it became more and more clear that going home was the right thing to do. As confirmation, as we traveled over the mountain in the medical van on the way home there was a spectacular double rainbow. Honestly, it was leading us home. When we got here everything was set. I had contacted one of Dick's friends, who is a contractor, at 7:30 in the morning and told him Dick was coming home on hospice. I asked if he could get an air conditioner installed by the afternoon in our bedroom. Sure enough, we entered a cool, calm room. The hospital bed was there along with O2 and the everything he needs. There was a warm meal on the table provided by neighbors and I even went outside and threw the ball to the dogs for a bit just to clear my head.
I asked his best friend to please stay on the couch as I was a bit scared to do the first night alone (my mom was in with our daughter with special needs, caring for her) and his best friend (from 2nd grade) stayed on the couch. I knew it would be a learning experience. One thing I learned is that I need a cot, not to be on a futon on the floor. I need to be eye level with him. Also, I am going to look into a nurse for night time so I can get some sleep. The thing is I will still stay in the room and I want someone else with eyes on him in case he needs something. When I think about it, it's a bit creepy to have someone staring at us when we sleep but at least I won't have to set me alarm every 30 to 45 minutes to check him.
This morning with everyone around to help, I took the younger (more energetic) dog for a walk as she must get exercise. What I found was the sun was still shining, the ocean was still spectacular and our friends are amazing. It pained me to look at our beautiful ocean and know that Dick will not be back in it again or that we will not take another boat ride together. But, when I got back to the house I know at the bottom of my heart that it is time for him to go to eternal love. I know I have no idea how devastated I will be. I have never experienced the level of grief that awaits me or the weight of my children's grief. But, I also know that we will make it through and there will still be beauty and love. I'm not sure how we will make it, but we will.
Please continue to pray for peace.

Aloha,
Kathleen

lp1964's picture
lp1964
Posts: 883
Joined: Jun 2013

I wish you the strength to get through this difficult time. Don't ask or wonder why, what could it have been or how should it be, just appreciate what it was and what still is. 

Laz

UncleBuddy
Posts: 687
Joined: Aug 2013

I pray for peace for you and your family. Cherish the time you have left together. Lean on your family and friends. Hugs!

Lin

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 1610
Joined: Jan 2013

I will pray for Dick as I prayed for JBG & Sandi's husband, that the Lord will take Dick home peacfully and at this point, quickly. Oh, that sounds so cruel, but I am sure it wouldn't be. 

I am happy that you can find a moment to slip out onto the beach with your dog, although I don't doubt that you cannot wait to return and be by Dick's side. 

You are most definitely in my prayers. 

God bless!

SUE

Luv2lunch
Posts: 256
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Kathleen,

Still praying for the peace you and your family needs to get through this difficult time.

Love,

Linda and Mom

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 622
Joined: May 2011

Being in your own home must be consoling during this difficult time. You who love so well are surrounded by people who love you.  Be assured of our continued prayer.  Walk the beach as often as you can.

Hugs,

CM

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1198
Joined: Apr 2009

I am glad you are home & are both surrounded by love of family & friends. Dick can feel that, I'm sure.

It is a devastating road that I have now traveled twice. All think we are strong but you & I both know we are dying inside.

A cot is a good idea to stay close by. Please try to rest when Dick does. I hope he is in no pain.

Luv,

Wolfen

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 2989
Joined: Jan 2010

I know that being home is a blessing to you all.  The comfort of familiar surroundings.  The help of family and friends. 

Being strong for those who need you brings additional weight to your shoulders.  I am glad that you now have a chance to walk the beach and have time for your own thoughts, and to add your tears to the ocean that you both love. 

Yes, you and the girls will make it through what lies ahead, not because you must, but because each day and each action will be a testament to your love of Dick.  He will always be with you, because he will forever have his place in your heart.

My love and prayers are with you all,

Marie who loves kitties 

alexinlv's picture
alexinlv
Posts: 194
Joined: Jul 2010

Oh Kathleen, my heart is breaking for you and yours.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  Wishing you peace and continued comfort for Dick in the coming days.  I am so glad you can be surrounded with the love of friends and family.  xo Alex 

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 908
Joined: May 2008

much love, Leslie

krf's picture
krf
Posts: 99
Joined: Dec 2009

Dear Kathleen,

I haven't checked in here for a long time and am so sorry to see that you are at this place with Dick. I am three years and two months out from where you are. You are strong enough. I am holding you in my heart.
Much love to you.
Kim (Wife of Crow71)

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 4349
Joined: Feb 2009

Being home for you and him have to be wonderful and I'm so glad that everthing fell to place the way it did.  I'm so sad that he won't see the ocean again as well as when going through treatment I'd been surprised that he was able to go surfing and as much activity as he did.  I'm so glad that his friends and family are there.  You have a lot on your plate and I'm glad that you are getting help because you need the help and support.  Praying for peace for all of you.  Thank you for the update.  Wishing that you have some special moments now.

Kim

marbleotis's picture
marbleotis
Posts: 507
Joined: Mar 2012

I send love, peace and prayers.  Hold tight to each day. 

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2427
Joined: Jun 2006

 

dearest Kath....I am still in the north so rarely have internet.  I am so so sorry to read this news of Dick but very happy that you are home.  It sounds as if you are well supported and surrounded with loved ones.......this breaks our hearts Kath.....sending you such love.....

mags

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3015
Joined: May 2009

I'm here if you need me.  Big hug. 

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3476
Joined: Apr 2010

I'm sending my love and hugs, what you wrote was so heartfelt and meaningful, you will find the strength, you always have.

Love to you and your family,

Winter Marie

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