will there be another tumor in my body!

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Goyca
Goyca Member Posts: 220
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Tomorrow i have MRI for Sinus & Skull, CT scan for Head, Neck and Chest. And Pet CT...

Im sure all of you here went through this in a way or another. But for me its still so overwhelming!!

April 3 I had my first surgery ever,  thinking that it’s nothing! Then I found out I had Olfactory Neuroblastoma, a rare tumor… and now the doctors asked for all the above scans to check whether there is another tumor somewhere else in my body before they suggest a treatment.

I am really worried, and scared that the scans will come positive. I am scared of the machines too, can anyone believe that! Maybe because I never had a serious medical problem before, all of this sounds scary to me.

It is just so overwhelming and I do not know how to digest this thing, all of it. Its May,the sun is here,and im 24 years old, instead of being with my friends at the beach enjoying the sun swimming and having fun, im spending my days worrying and between clinics, and my nights sleepless with nightmares. the hard part is i didnt tell anyone about this, its just me and my parents ,this is why here im not using my real name! i feel if my friends or coworkers knew im gonna feel weak and they will pitty or feel sympathy towards me, which is something i dislike. so i feel really distant from the world around me right now

 

Anyway, sorry to disturb you with my dramatic thoughts, I hope tomorrow’s scans goes well and all i have to deal with is the neuroblastoma.

whoever is reading this, please pray for me/ wish me luck

Sincerly,

Goyca.

Comments

  • Guzzle
    Guzzle Member Posts: 710
    #2
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    Sorry

    I know it a huge worry Goyca. But all these scans are routine. Most people on this site have been through them. The doctors just want to be sure. Good Luck. G.

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,722 Member
    #3
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    T&P

    Goyca,

    You are correct, we have all been there and have felt, thought and gone through what you are experiencing.  I was healthy and happy and  very surprised to find out I had cancer. 

    It is funny about telling people or not, some get it and understand and want to help, others are scared, confused and wont acknowledge you.

    During my first PET/CT scan I had my first anxiety attack; I never had one in my life, but learned to lean on Lorazapam from there forward.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself, it just is!  Get a smart team, learn what you need and go after this intruder with everything you got.  In a few short months this will be behind you and you can start moving forward again.

    Good luck,

    Matt

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #4
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    Goyca, i'm so very sorry you

    Goyca, i'm so very sorry you are going thru this.  it always hurts worse when cancer hits the young.  the scans are to be safe.  that is good that your doctors are being proactive.  it is a lot to take in all at once but you need to slow down and take some deep breaths.  you NEVER have to apologize for posting here, that's why we're here, to listen.  even dramatic thoughts are allowed.  whatever you are feeling, is what you are allowed to post.  we will all try to help the best we can.  you are not alone, we will be here for you.  about your friends, if you tell them you are NOT BEING WEAK!  and if they are true friends, they will be sorry that you are so sick but they will not pity you, they will want to help you thru this.  you do NOT have to take this journey alone.  your friends will want to be there for you.  i am praying that all the scans come back clean and you only have the original dx to deal with.  please try to calm down and take this one day at a time.  you can beat this just as many here have.  come here any time you want to talk, cry, vent, encourage, whatever you feel like, we will be here too.  please let us know how you are doing.  we are on the sidelines cheering you on! 

    God bless you!

    dj

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #5
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    It's all "routine"....

    all these scans are predictably routine.....every person here has had to go through these before treatment ever starts....be glad they are being so thorough.  The CT's of your head a neck will allow them to see precisely what they are dealing with in the cancer that has been diagnosed.  The PET scan is a precautionary scan to make absolutely sure there is nothing else going on that would need to be taken in consideration of further treatment.  The chances (at 24 years old) that there is something else are pretty remote. 

    You will get used to the machines....truly....I never had a scan in my life until I was diagnosed with cancer....tho I don't particularily look forward to them, I'm not scared of them any longer.  I learned to take myself out of it.....a daydream freebee, so to speak Laughing.  As for not telling anyone...let some people know....really!  You'll find out who your truly good friends are.....some will dive in and want to help...be it rides, or food, things you might want or need.  Others may drift off.....what really might surprise you are the folks who are simple aquaintences, who dive in and help out with open hearts.....people who you never dreamed cared about you.   Cancer has it's amazing side, that's a fact.

    p

  • PJ47
    PJ47 Member Posts: 376
    #6
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    It must seem surreal to you at your age to have so much

    on your plate.  The scans are necessary to rule out any other tumors/cancer and to plan for treatment should there be anymore.  You probably will be cancer free elsewhere, so think positive thoughts and try and relax through the tests as best you can.  MRI is noisy but not a big deal.  They have open machines if you do not like feeling penned in.  The wost part of the PET for me was keeping my arms above my head for 30 minutes or so, but I have a shoulder injury so you will be fine.  It is tiring, but after your scans perhaps you can rest and then plan a day on the beach with friends.  Having an illness like this, will help you sort through who are true friends very quickly.

    Do whatever you need to do to lift your spirits during this time,

    Peace,

    PJ

  • jackflash22
    jackflash22 Member Posts: 524 Member
    #7
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    Scans etc

    Goyca, don't shut your friends out if they are real friends they wil rally around you and take some of the anxiety out of yourself. I felt like you it took a while to tell my neighbours and friends but they somehow picked up vibes something was wrong. my friends and neighbours are marvellous they help me in all ways and don't show pity. Just this afternoon my next door neighbour asked if he could cut my hedges and had a chinwag about his family and how nice the weather is not anything about 'poor you" in his tone of voice. same with family I'm still the same mum,sister,and auntie apart from help like lifts to the hospital they keep me laughing, if cancer is mentioned it's matter of fact not pity. The scanners are painless but noisy, the MRI one sounded like my next dor neighbours working in the garden the humming was like a lawn mower, the bumping like the boy next door kicking a football at the fence, there's bright light inside the machine not dark and you can pretend your sunbathing in the garden listening to normal noises. I admit I took a couple of diazepam before going in and was probably spaced out. They don't mind you taking something to help you through it ask you doctor for a few tablets. All the way through your treatment there is medication of some sort to help you, they don't let you suffer. The treatment is soon over, it doesn't seem that way while going through it but once it's over you feel elated that you've been through it..Your so young to get this horrid decease and it's sad your missing out all the things you love but bear with it. You will get better and will do things you like, that's why you mustn't shut yourself away you can still do things with friends while going through treatment.

  • Goyca
    Goyca Member Posts: 220
    #8
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    thank u...

    U are all so kind and understanding. Thank u for ur warm words and advice... At first I was hesitating about entering this community, I guess I was afraid to see sad people, but instead u r all sweet bright sunshine like people :) u truly give me positive vibes.. I shall keep u updated about tomorrows experience. you are all right about having friends around, but for the meantime I have u guys , I think its gona take a bit time to tell my friends about this..

     

    .. Sending u

     

    all a thank u hug.

    goyca.

  • KB56
    KB56 Member Posts: 318 Member
    #9
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    Scans

    Goyca, I think what you are experiencing as far as the anxiety, afraid and really not know what to expect, is normal and we've all gone throught it and do each time we have a scan to confirm that we are still "all clear".    It is a shock for all of us when they get the news but at 24 years old it has to be even tougher to hear and move forward.   Like you, i was rarely sick, very minor surgeries (primarily due to sports related injuries) so it was a big shocker.  

    The good news is that tomorrow you will know for sure what your personal situation looks like and what you need to plan for and deal with as you move forward.  Your feelings are absolutely normal and to be expected.   I have my next scan in August, 14 months after my last radiation treatment, and i can assure you that i will be nervous and anxious before the scan and up until I get the results.  Every one of us on this site experience the same thing each time and our scanxietly goes up each time we have a scan.

    I think your friends would be much more supportive than you give them credit for and it wouldn't be pity but more concern for their friend's (you) well being and what they might be able to do to help out.  It would probably be good for you to confide in a few close friends to get this off your chest and get some local support and encouragement.   My friends and family were so helpful to me as I worked through the treatments and recovery.  I couldn't have done it without them.

    I hope that your scans come back clean and that your problem is isolated to the one known spot.  At least you will know for sure and the uncertainty will be over and you can process along the path to get this behind you so you can move forward with your life.   Good luck my friend and you have a lot of people keeping you in their thoughts and prayers.  Stay as positive as you can and know that you can beat this!

     

    Keith

  • Viilik70
    Viilik70 Member Posts: 73
    #10
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    At 25

    I had nasopharyngeal cancer at 25 and went through all the same emotions because I was bullet proof or thought I was! I made it through with flying colors and kicked its butt! You will too and because you are so young you will heal faster and 15 years later they will have to have a double take to even tell where you had cancer. I healed so well they could hardly tell I had radiation! You will be in my prayers and many more who will read your post and be praying for you also! Trust God because He's taken me through cancer treatment twice, so you got this! : )

     

    john j

  • Goyca
    Goyca Member Posts: 220
    #11
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    Viilik70 said:

    At 25

    I had nasopharyngeal cancer at 25 and went through all the same emotions because I was bullet proof or thought I was! I made it through with flying colors and kicked its butt! You will too and because you are so young you will heal faster and 15 years later they will have to have a double take to even tell where you had cancer. I healed so well they could hardly tell I had radiation! You will be in my prayers and many more who will read your post and be praying for you also! Trust God because He's taken me through cancer treatment twice, so you got this! : )

     

    john j

    Keith & John, thank u for ur

    Keith & John, thank u for ur advice and support..

     Today was tiring i was worried.. But once I started going inside the machines , for real I closed my eyes and tried to remember what everyone here told me..thank god this day is over and I can say it went as smooth as possible. Thanks for the encouragement..ill keep u updated about the results. Fingers crossed :)

     

    good night everyone, in my city its night now :)

  • Guzzle
    Guzzle Member Posts: 710
    #12
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    Goyca said:

    Keith & John, thank u for ur

    Keith & John, thank u for ur advice and support..

     Today was tiring i was worried.. But once I started going inside the machines , for real I closed my eyes and tried to remember what everyone here told me..thank god this day is over and I can say it went as smooth as possible. Thanks for the encouragement..ill keep u updated about the results. Fingers crossed :)

     

    good night everyone, in my city its night now :)

    Sleep well

    Goyca, have a peaceful slumber and all the best for results, G

  • PJ47
    PJ47 Member Posts: 376
    #13
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    Goyca said:

    Keith & John, thank u for ur

    Keith & John, thank u for ur advice and support..

     Today was tiring i was worried.. But once I started going inside the machines , for real I closed my eyes and tried to remember what everyone here told me..thank god this day is over and I can say it went as smooth as possible. Thanks for the encouragement..ill keep u updated about the results. Fingers crossed :)

     

    good night everyone, in my city its night now :)

    Keeping you in my thoughts

    and prayers today.  Knew you could get through it!  Fingers, toes, elbows, legs, and eyes crossed for you.  I look wierd that way lol.

    PJ

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #14
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    Goyca said:

    Keith & John, thank u for ur

    Keith & John, thank u for ur advice and support..

     Today was tiring i was worried.. But once I started going inside the machines , for real I closed my eyes and tried to remember what everyone here told me..thank god this day is over and I can say it went as smooth as possible. Thanks for the encouragement..ill keep u updated about the results. Fingers crossed :)

     

    good night everyone, in my city its night now :)

    Goyca, i'm glad today is over

    Goyca, i'm glad today is over for you and test went ok.  Praying for a clean scan.  Sending positive thoughts and good mojo your way!  please let us know.

    God bless you, Goyca.

    dj

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