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Sad news...

Chelsea71
Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

Hi everyone,

Just wanting to deliver some sad news about Steve.  He passed away this afternoon at about 1:30. 

Yesterday morning I was on my way to the hospital when my cell rang.  I was expecting that Steve would be discharged and that I would finally get him home.  A nurse asked me to please come to the hospital as Steve was having trouble breathing and his b/p was very low.  She said he was being assessed by the Intensive Care Unit.  When I arrived there were fifteen people in his room.  Lots of excitement.  Tests showed a blood clot had travelled to his lung and his kidneys were shutting down.  A lengthy conversation ensued and the end result was that Steve did not want to be kept alive in the ICU, he wanted to be kept as comfortable as possible.  We moved to a private room and all monitors and meds were stopped.  My parents, brother and I were with him the entire time.  It took 24 hours.  He just was so strong and such a fighter.  He didn't want to give up.  We all assured him that he put up a strong fight and told him how much he meant to us.  Nothing was left unsaid.  Watching him pass away was the most difficult thing I will ever do in my lifetime.  I think it was peaceful and I hope he did not suffer.

My family has been a wonderful support.  But I know that they are not always going to be there.  I just don't know how I am going to get on with my life without him.  He was the most wonderful husband....  I just loved being with him....I feel so lost.

I plan to stay involved with CSN, like Tina and Cynthia.  I want to be able to help others to benefit from what I have learned over the past 27 months.  I want as much good to come from Steve's experience as possible.

His corneas have been donated for transplant.  He would be so pleased to know that he has helped someone gain their sight.  His organs have been donated to science.  He really loved to help people and I think he would have been very proud to know that others will benefit from his loss.

Thank you to you all.

Love Chelsea

fatbob2010's picture
fatbob2010
Posts: 395
Joined: May 2012

Please accept my condolences.  It was a long and valiant fight.  

Peace and comfort to all...Art

jen2012
Posts: 1207
Joined: Aug 2012

My condolences Chelsea. I wish I had words to help. Your post is so eloquent and beautiful and I am just so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your family was there to support you and Steve. Take care of yourself.

lilacbrroller's picture
lilacbrroller
Posts: 284
Joined: Jun 2012

I am sorry for your loss. 

Karin

db8ne1's picture
db8ne1
Posts: 92
Joined: Feb 2013

Words seem so inadequate at times like these.  Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jenni

danker
Posts: 742
Joined: Apr 2012

My condolences yo you!!! Sometimes I wonder why I have been privileged to live to 81???

tachilders's picture
tachilders
Posts: 315
Joined: Jun 2012

I could barely bring myself to open this post, but am glad that I did. It is so abundantly clear from your post that Steve was a lucky man to have you, and I'm sure he knew that. I admire both your and his strength and courage in how you faced the most difficult decision that can be made. I am saddened and shocked by how quickly things changed for you both.  I have some concern that this is how it may go for me, which is that I'll be alright until I'm not and then it will go quickly. Maybe that is a blessing. IMHO, nothing would be more important than hearing from your loved ones how much you mean to them before you pass, so it sounds like he had the best end to life that one could have. I wish I had better words to express my feelings but I don't. Please accept my sincerest and deepest condolences the loss of Steve. God bless you. 

Tedd

Dyanclark's picture
Dyanclark
Posts: 258
Joined: Apr 2012

This year has been horrible so many lost the cancer battle I feel so depressed.  So sorry to hear Steve is gone.

Hughs George & Dyan

 

Varmint5's picture
Varmint5
Posts: 371
Joined: Feb 2012

I am so, so sorry to read this news. My thoughts are with you as you go forward. You did all you could, both of you, and bravely. So sad for you.

Sandy

Momof2plusteentwins's picture
Momof2plusteentwins
Posts: 449
Joined: May 2012

So sorry for you and your family. I know your last post you let us know that he would not have more chemo, I just thought you would have more time. Just know Chelsea that you were the best wife and caregiver Steve could could have. We are all thinking of you Chelsea.
Sandy

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1302
Joined: Apr 2010

Dearest Chelsea,

I am so deeply saddened that you've lost such a wonderful husband and friend.  You and he have been so determined and strong throughout this battle; and you both certainly did your best to beat the beast down.  When you are ready, please reach out to us, we'll be here, keeping the light on for you.

With much sympathy,

Cynthia

 

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 4263
Joined: Feb 2009

I'm so sorry that he has passed.  He was such a fighter and you, a wonderful caregiver.  My sympathies to you and I'm glad that you have decided to stay a part of our family here.  You will be a blessing to future caregivers as well as a wealth of knowledge.  May God be with you and give you peace.

Kim

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2059
Joined: Oct 2009

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  I know exactly what you are going through and feeling right now.  It is horrible and there are just no words to describe it.  You are strong and you will get through the days that lay ahead and take care of the necessary.  A few weeks from now, when everyone goes back to their everyday lives, so much sorrow will sit in for you.  Please, reach our to Cynthia and myself for we will be there for you.  It is truly helpful. 

With deepest sorrow - Tina

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 1482
Joined: Jan 2013

My condolences, Chelsea.

You are obviously a strong woman, already planning to build othes up by sharing your exeriences. You are a wondedful example of strength for us.

God bless you these weeks and months as you learn to iive without your Steve.

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 2942
Joined: Jan 2010

I am so very sorry to hear this news.  I know you were both hoping for more time.

You both traveled this road with dignity, grace, strength and spirit.

May you and those who loved Steve find peace in knowing he is now free of this dreaded disease.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

Deena11
Posts: 193
Joined: Nov 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss.   You are in our thoughts.

Deena

steveandnat's picture
steveandnat
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

I pray for Steve and that he is no longer fighting this awful cancer.  Also, for you and everyone so very close to Steve.  He was a very fortunate to have you in his life. I'm so glad you will stay in touch with our group here at CSN.  Bless you.  Jeff

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1194
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm just so very, very sorry to hear this. He fought so long and hard with you beside him all the way. Your strength shows through in your ability to honor his last wishes.

Please find comfort in the love you shared.

We will be here for you when you need us.

Love,

Wolfen

serenity101's picture
serenity101
Posts: 81
Joined: May 2013

Chelsea,

May you be granted the comfort and courage you need to find your way through this difficult time.

Serenity

Aud's picture
Aud
Posts: 476
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sad for you.  My heart goes out to you.  I am so sorry for your loss.

~Aud

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 2912
Joined: May 2009

My condolences. He did put up a good fight.   Big hug. Very sad news. 

bailee2012
Posts: 61
Joined: Jul 2012

So sorry for this news.... Seems like there is so much lately....my condolences.  Try to remain strong.

Semira's picture
Semira
Posts: 278
Joined: Mar 2012

Sending a silent Hug from germany. I am so sorry for your loss.

Sad

Petra

 

LindaK.
Posts: 320
Joined: Apr 2013

So sorry to read this post.  Thank you for sharing your story with other caregivers like me.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I hope you can find some peace in the days ahead.  XOXO  Linda

johnnybegood's picture
johnnybegood
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

i too am sorry and so very sad.my mom wolfen has experienced the death of my stepdad just only 4 months ago maybe you could pm her i know it helps to talk to other widows again i am so sorry(((HUGS)))...Godbless..johnnybegood

janderson1964's picture
janderson1964
Posts: 1617
Joined: Oct 2011

I am so truly sorry.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4298
Joined: Jun 2009

It is with deep sorrow that I write to you today, along with many others...

After all of these years, it still amazes and shocks me how quickly things can change...even when we think we have our eyes wide open.  I think we're all looking for the tell-tale signs of Cancer that we think are going to give  us the definitive moments of our lives that we will use as our guideposts to know how to live - or what to do.

Your post is strong and stoic...and gives me a brief glimpse into the kind of woman, wife, and caregiver that you were to Steve....but also what kind of person that you've become to us.  You were a little more guarded in the early days and I watched you emerge every day as you became more comfortable with us and your environment.

I've seen alot of personal growth in you and you and Steve were two of the major reasons I have stuck it out here...I truly enjoyed helping you and being with you during all of this.  I truly believed that I could help you some...and maybe I was able to at a couple of stops along the road.

I still remember that Repurpose post and the day you wanted to run for the hills....and I remember what you said that day...and it's those kinds of things that will always stick with me.

That's wonderful that Steve had the love and support of his family and you during that time...I love hearing stories like that.

I'm glad that you will still be here with us...I for one, would miss you deeply, of course.  And repurposing your experience for the benefit of others will be able to heal you and provide an outlet for the negative energy to be recycled into something that could get someone else through to the next day.

And giving to others through your shared pain and experience will continue to grow you up....will also help the other party in their own personal growth....and give meaning to you and Steve's lives. 

And the biggest thing is that it will give you some sense of Empowerment over this formidable opponent that we all here face everyday...and I feel that this process is what will help some of us stay sane through all that we go through - or have had to go through.

My heart is heavy for you...

But, I'm glad that I got to know Steve through you...and that you made him human and a person to me...and that you let me touch him through you....wish I could have spent some time with you guys.

Just wonderful about the donations too...what a gift that will be for someone.

I was just terribly sorry to log on today and read this news...we'll always be here with you when you want us. 

Love you!

-Craig

 

wawaju04976's picture
wawaju04976
Posts: 316
Joined: Dec 2012

Very sorry for this newsl

myd
Posts: 30
Joined: Apr 2013

Chelsea, I'm very sorry for your loss.  May God provide for you the guidance to pass this awful stage in life.  There are so many unfair things in this world.  It sounds like you have a great family.  Your loved ones will also provide your with the necessary strength.  God Bless!

Myd

rls67
Posts: 127
Joined: Nov 2012

It sounds like Steve was a wonderful man and a great husband. You Chelsea sound like a great woman and a even better caregiver. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

YoVita's picture
YoVita
Posts: 541
Joined: Mar 2010

You were a wonderful, caring, strong caregiver and Steve was a great fighter.  So sorry for your loss.

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 575
Joined: May 2011

Oh, Chelsea, I am so sorry.  You and Steve were such a great example of being on this journey together. You both gave it everything you had.  Know that our hearts are sore.  My spirit was lifted reading that you will stay on this forum. You have so much to share.

Prayers for strength and peace in the days ahead.

Hugs,

Cathleen Mary

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2254
Joined: Oct 2011

I'm so, so sorry.  You were both so valient in this struggle, and deserved to have a different outcome.  My heart hurts for all of you

{{{Chels}}} from me

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1161
Joined: May 2008

am so sorry

 

michelle

 

alexinlv's picture
alexinlv
Posts: 194
Joined: Jul 2010

I am so sorry and saddened by this news. Prayers to you and your family!  

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3402
Joined: Apr 2010

Oh Chelsea, I am so, so sorry.  My heart breaks for you and what you have gone and are going through.  I send you my love and care.  Please know we are here for you as you have been for so many.

hugs,

Winter Marie

Maxiecat's picture
Maxiecat
Posts: 524
Joined: Jul 2012

I read your post through tears.  Steve was very lucky to have you.  Your love for him came through in every post you made.  He left a wonderful legacy through his gift ... But also through the imprint that his life now leaves on your life and the lives of everyone he touched.  You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers in these difficult days ahead.

love,

alex

Luckygirl2
Posts: 308
Joined: Mar 2012

I am so sorry for your loss.  He fought hard and you were right beside him in this unthinkable battle.  I am glad you were able to be there and say the things that needed to be said.  Prayers to you and your family.

k44454445's picture
k44454445
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

so sorry for your loss.

prayers

judy

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2305
Joined: Jan 2009

Chelsea,

My condolences to you.  I am so very sorry for your loss.  My heart breaks.  Prayers are being sent out for you.

Aloha,

Kathleen

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 582
Joined: Apr 2011

Dear Chelsea,

so very very sorry for the loss of your wonderful husband. Not easy to sit there and say your goodbyes, I have been there, on the other hand it gives you peace to know Steve it at rest now. He put up a valiant fight.

Please  stay on and when needed you can fall back on us, we will be here for you also. Most of us are only a PM away.

hugs,

Marjan

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 251
Joined: Sep 2011

Our condolences on the passing of Steve.  You are in our thoughts during this very difficult time.  

Take care,

Ellen & Pat

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