Apr 28, 2013 - 10:58 pm
I'm sorry for any spelling or gramer. Giving my personality, I had to get quite drunk to get in touch with my emotions on this matter. My mother is dying from melonoma that has infected her legs, abdamon, lungs, neck, and other parts. I am 22 years old and completely clueless. I know I should be spending every moment I can with her, but it hurts so very bad to see her like this. She is almost done with treatment but the tumors are still there, the doctors say she is going to pass in the year. I am so completely lost. My grandfather passed of old age last October and I feel like I am letting him down. I feel like I am failing his daughter, my mother, because I don't know what to do. As I write this I can't even stop crying long enough to wipe away the tears. I really hope that someone out there knows how to help a 22 year old man, who feels like he is still a child due to his (my) complete lack of skill in this area. It might help to note that in my life, I have done whatever I could to help other people get thru hardships in life. So I guess a large part of the issue is both having no idea what to do here, and that no one has come to my rescue like I've tried to do my whole life. I am really sorry if this all sounds selfish, but I am just so lost, alone, and hurting. If anyone knows how to help me be a better person for my mom, at least for how much time she has left, please help me figure it out. She has always been such a strong role model to me, when she had breast cancer, I was a freshmen in highschool and instead of worrying about her health, she worried about her family and work and got better. But I really have no idea now. She isn't acting strong, she isn't worrying about her job, she is just dying. And I really need help. I don't want to lose my mother, but then again who wants to lose a loved one, but on the same hand I don't want her to be in pain. I'd pray to God, but I am very angry with him for giving my mother cancer three times in her life. Sorry if I am rambling and selfish, and sorry for the drunken post. I just hurt very bad right now.