Feb 19, 2013 - 5:45 am
I'm not really sure where to even start. At the end of January I found out my mom has cancer in her uterus. So they decided to do a hysterectomy and also an exploratory because she had a lump on her stomache below her belly button (this was all on the 7th). I really thought everything would be fine.. The surgeon came out and told me that my single parent mother has stage 4 cancer, and that they plan on treating her with two types of chemo and radiation for the lymph nodes she couldn't remove. Well my "dad" decided to come up from Florida for the surgery (although he missed the actual surgery part) and a couple of days after the surgery he decided that he needed to "open my eyes" and basically tell me that my mom is going to die. Of course I got very defensive and somethings were send and he decided to basically disown me. I have not heard from him at all and he only has contact with my mom. Anyway, for about a week I was driving 82 miles a day from our house to the hospital and back and she just seemed so healthy I just couldn't accept that she has cancer let alone stage 4. On the 11th she got discharged home. She was having shortness of breath but she has had a respitory problem for a while (bronchiolitis obliterans organizing pneumonia). On the 17th she just wasn't doing good so I finally was able to convince her to call the consulting nurse who then sent her to the ER. Well eventually they found out that she has a blood clot in her lung. It just seems like everything that can go wrong, has been going wrong. She is still at the hospital and I have no clue when she will be discharged..
My mom is my best friend and the only person who knows everything about me. My mom has dedicated her life to being a nurse and mom to me. She is the nicest, sweetest person you could ever meet. She never puts herself first. I just don't understand how this could happen to her. She is super unselfish too so she wants me to continue going to college and I really thought I could handle it but now I am starting to suffer from insomnia and anxiety, and I'm just not sure I can handle it but I don't want her to feel guilty if I did drop this quarter.
It's just so frustrating how so many people around me are telling me that my mom is going to die. The doctors haven't said that.. I am just so scared.. I really can't lose her, she is all I have.