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Another scan... UPDATE

Brenda Bricco's picture
Brenda Bricco
Posts: 550
Joined: Aug 2011

Dennis had another scan yesterday... we get the results tomorrow. For those that aren't familiar with our fight he was diganosed Feb 1st 2011 with stage lv (primary tumor in rectum and many large tumors all over his liver - bleeding internally). After chemo, rfa, colon resection,embolization and 65% of his liver (whole right lobe - Feb 2012)resected he was sitting at NED. He then had a scan in June that kept him at the NED status.
Here we are at another scan and as you can imagine I am shaking on the inside. I was just sitting outside on my front porch thinking that I am going to lose my mind. It's so quiet except for a wood pecker pecking away at a big oak tree. I wanted to yell at him to knock it off...I mean doesn't he know that I am on edge and need some peace and quiet?!
I have had some really hard times with all of this but being still and waiting on GOD was enough to keep me sane but now I am feeling like I need to get some counseling to help me cope and process everything. I still have tons of hope in my heart but my mind is not holding up as well.
Could I get you guys to send prayers for us? I feel so numb and afraid that it is hard to pray...I know GOD knows my heart and all of our needs but knowing that you are sending up some prayers would really help me get through.
I pray that we all have a blessed holiday and those of you that aren't from the US I pray you have a blessed Thursday along with us.
GOD's blessing to all.
Brenda

The scan was all clear! Praise GOD!
The doctor that ordered the scan is the one that told us that we needed a miracle and that Dennis had 2 years (almost 2 years ago). He told us that the "news is good for now", he said that he still thinks it will come back. He also brought up a 3mm nodule in his lung that has been there from day one. The Madison group determined that it was a non issue when it didn't change with 6 months of 5fu and Avastin, they explained that lots of people have nodules that are non cancerous and Dennis was one of them. I have always called this Doctor,Dr. Doom becuase he has never given us any hope. When we asked him for a referral to the UW he told us that "he thinks it's a long shot". He told us today to go home and have a good Thanksgiving and Christmas as if he were suggesting that it won't be this good next year. I guess time will tell... but we are happy as can be after a visit with Dr. Doom. :)

jen2012
Posts: 1188
Joined: Aug 2012

Hi Brenda,

I understand completely. My husband was just diagnosed stage 4 in August and has his first scan coming up Nov 30th. I'm already feeling sick about it. I was just wondering this morning how people here seem to stay so positive and thankful when I just want to throw things and yell. I say yell at the woodpecker to shut up! Maybe you'll feel better if you let some of the frustration out.

I will definitely pray that you find some peace and comfort and mostly that Dennis gets great results tomorrow.

Brenda Bricco's picture
Brenda Bricco
Posts: 550
Joined: Aug 2011

Thanks Jen, it helps to know that someone is listening and praying.
If there is anything I can help you with just let me know; I remember the first few months after dx and how exhausting it all is.
I went to scream at the wood pecker and he was gone! lol

glinka65
Posts: 132
Joined: Feb 2009

dealing with stage iv myself as well, we are always on pins and needles waiting on scans!!! you have my thoughts and prayers, im sure my wife goes through alot of what you do!! its a rough road!! again my prayers are with you guys!!!

Momof2plusteentwins's picture
Momof2plusteentwins
Posts: 439
Joined: May 2012

I know scan anxiety! I have one coming up next month after I complete my 12th round of Folfox. Sending prayers your way for clear scans. Have a happy Thanksgiving.
Sandy:)

smokeyjoe
Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

Hope hubby has a great scan!!! Waiting for results is so hard, how long till you guys get the results??

Brenda Bricco's picture
Brenda Bricco
Posts: 550
Joined: Aug 2011

at appt tomorrow (12:30 CST) I will update as soon as I get home.
I broke down and took a lorazapam today, I was getting a little sick from nerves.
This may sound crazy but I kind of wish that the results were after Thanksgiving only because I know it will be a really good or really sad holiday now. Please don't take that the wrong way, of course I want Dennis to get results asap.
Brenda

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3915
Joined: Nov 2010

Everyday is precious, maybe that's what woody the wood picker is saying.
Or maybe he was just pecking.
Listen to your feelings, a good counsellor might help.
Hugs,
Pete

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 569
Joined: Apr 2011

Hi Brenda, I am so wishing to hear the good news and I have send prayers to that effect.
Wishing you and Dennis a peacefull and wonderfull Thanks Giving from Canada, we had ours last month.
Actually, for me everyday I am alive and feeling good is a Thankfull day, I pray for the same for you and Denis.
Hugs, Marjan

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 4209
Joined: Feb 2009

Prayers on the way for a clean scan. It's so hard waiting. Just don't the the doctors realize the anxiety that we feel for that impending status. Keep us informed.

Kim

danker
Posts: 731
Joined: Apr 2012

May he have another NED scan, and may you both enjoy thanksgiving!!!

rogina2336's picture
rogina2336
Posts: 188
Joined: Apr 2011

Praying for you and Dennis, may all your holidays be filled with NED and joy!! It seems even harder somehow with the upcoming holidays my stress level was high last week before my husband scanned, (even though I knew he felt good), but low and behold all was going good and tumors still shrinking......So try to think happy thoughts and know you can't control the results anyway. Kim

YoVita's picture
YoVita
Posts: 541
Joined: Mar 2010

for Dennis from his scan. May you have a celebratory Thanksgiving.

dorookie's picture
dorookie
Posts: 1681
Joined: Jul 2007

and saying a prayer for the both of you...

Good news to follow :)

HUGS
Beth

JayhawkDan's picture
JayhawkDan
Posts: 206
Joined: Apr 2012

coming at you from Kansas . . . it's gonna be good news and you're going to have a great Thanksgiving! Dan

Chelsea71
Posts: 1168
Joined: Sep 2012

I can totally relate. Your story is similar to mine. Scans are the worst kind of torture a person should have to endure. The first one after starting chemo (the first time) was terrible. I remember wanting to call and delay the scan until after Christmas. The first scan after surgery was difficult too. It's quite a way to live. Even though it has only been going on two years, it is hard for me to believe there was a time when we did not have scans, chemo side affects, CEA levels etc to worry about.

I laughed when I read about the woodpecker. I know that exact feeling.

I don't pray often (I'm still too pissed), but I will pray for good test results and for God to give you and Dennis the strength to deal with whatever hand you are dealt.

Good luck tomorrow. It will be a stressful morning (waiting to see the doctor). Just put one foot in front of the other and get through it. I'll be praying for good news.

Chelsea

Varmint5's picture
Varmint5
Posts: 371
Joined: Feb 2012

And boy do I understand. And I really believe there are post traumatic stress issues that go along with battling cancer yourself or along with a very close loved one - like your husband. My daughter. Etc. It's just awful. And these scans are something else.

I will absolutely send up a prayer for Dennis and you. Hang in there! And I hope and pray things continue NED for Dennis.

Sandy

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 529
Joined: May 2011

Brenda, I am praying that tomorrow's results giive you and Dennis every reason to be filled with gratitude Thanksgiving day. Cancer can run havoc on our emotional well being. I am a strong believer in prayer and a strong believer in counseling. Seek help if you need it; cancer takes away enough from us. Will be looki**** for you to post an update. Know a lot of people care and understand.

Cathleen Mary

k44454445's picture
k44454445
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

& lots of them coming your way!
hugs
judy

Brenda Bricco's picture
Brenda Bricco
Posts: 550
Joined: Aug 2011

Updated original post. :)

YoVita's picture
YoVita
Posts: 541
Joined: Mar 2010

Great news! Happy Thanksgiving - and many more!

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 2901
Joined: Jan 2010

Wonderful news and certainly adds to your things to be thankful for this year.

May there be many more years to be thankful for.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

jen2012
Posts: 1188
Joined: Aug 2012

So happy to hear your great news! Thanks for sharing Brenda - I hope you guys have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Momof2plusteentwins's picture
Momof2plusteentwins
Posts: 439
Joined: May 2012

Yay, happy Thanksgiving!

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 529
Joined: May 2011

Wonderful news!!! Thanksgiving will taste extra delicious. I am so happy for you both. As for Dr. Doom, can he be replaced?
Enjoy the results. Happy Thanksgiving.

Cathleen Mary

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 4209
Joined: Feb 2009

Well you have a lot to be thankful for this year. That is wonderful news. Just think I'd get another doctor if mine spoke to me like that. It's hard enough when you have to deal with all that you do and then have a doctor that has such a dismal attitude. Enjoy your holiday - I'm sure you will now.

Kim

smokeyjoe
Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

Great news!!!

Chelsea71
Posts: 1168
Joined: Sep 2012

Wonderful news. Congratulations.

We have a Dr. Doom, as well. Each time we saw him he just could't impress upon us enough the severity of Steve's illness. We don't see him anymore. I wonder why some doctors worry so much about giving "false hope". We also have a wonderful doctor who recently gave us some bad news. He handled it wonderfully. Didn't lie or sugarcoat the situation. Very honest, but also explained things in a way that didn't leave us completely devastated. What is wrong with having some hope?

Hope you and Dennis have a great Thanksgiving.

Chelsea

Varmint5's picture
Varmint5
Posts: 371
Joined: Feb 2012

So happy for you! Have a great Thanksgiving.

Sandy

tko683
Posts: 257
Joined: Aug 2011

Wonderful news! So happy for you! What a relief! Happy Thanksgiving!

janderson1964
Posts: 1535
Joined: Oct 2011

That is so awesome. You made my thanksgiving happy. I had the right lobe of my liver removed last december and am currently ned as well and expect my next scan in january to be clean. I am not crazy about dr. Doom though. Anything is possible. Tell your husband to keep fighting and keep believing. I am a 7+ year stage 4 survivor.

Happy thanksgiving

Jeff

lauragb
Posts: 368
Joined: Aug 2011

Congratulations! I'm sure you have been finally breathing. Scan time is rough. That said, Dr. Doom sounds like he needs to take a happy pill. Not that he needs to deny the seriousness of the original diagnosis, but Dennis could stay NED. So, he could send some good vibes out there, trusting there could be many more holidays.

And I say enjoy them. Prayers and light to you.
Laura

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2283
Joined: Jan 2009

Brenda,
That is awesome news!!! Hurray for Dennis and for you!! So glad to hear another NED.

Aloha,
Kathleen

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