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My George - RIP

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2042
Joined: Oct 2009

Well, it was not to be and my precious husband George Chris Gerges passed away cradled in my arms today like a newborn baby, 10/29/12 at 3:22 p.m. Our hearts are broken and we are totally devastated and lost. You come home knowing it is over and just walk from room to room not knowing what to do, it is heartbreaking, touches of him are everywhere.

I had the monitors disconnected an a couple of hours or so before his passing and when I saw that he was only taking a few breaths, put the sides of the bed down, got in the hospital bed with him and just cradled him talked to him, kissed him to pieces. He had his eyes closed all day and no sounds except for breathing. About 3 to 5 minutes before he died, he opened his eyes staring at me and moved his mouth as if to say something then it was all over. No gasping, no aggitation, he closed his eyes and it was over. A very peaceful and loving environment. I then called the nurse in to pronounce him.

On Sunday I made the decision to move on to palliative care. George did receive fluids and a very slow morphine drip which aided with his breathing and to insure he was comfortable. All week whenever he was asked if he was in pain he said no and he was not in any pain and I am thankful for that. I did give the hospital our 5 page Durable Power of Attorney regarding Medical Decisions and they adhered to it to the letter. Nothing was given to him without asking me first. They did tell me what they were giving him, what it was for and asked if it was ok to do. There were no extraordinary things done, just comfort care. I could have changed my mind and told them to throw everything they had at him but truly felt that would have been the wrong decision so I have no regrets.

The last words he mumbled late last evening when I was leaving were I love you so very much too. I will carry that forever.

Love and hugs to all - Tina

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 2882
Joined: Jan 2010

My heart breaks for you as you struggle to deal with this great loss.

I am so glad that you were able to be with George to the end and feel certain that your presence comforted him greatly.

I am glad that you have no regrets about your decisions for his final care. As much as we hate it, there does come a time for just comfort and love, with no extreme efforts taken.

Please know that you and the others who loved George are in our thoughts and prayers. May the memories of the wonderful years you had together bring you some comfort.

Hugs and love to you. Please stay in touch to let us know how you are doing.

Marie who loves kitties

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 2707
Joined: May 2009

I'm so sorry to read this and for your loss. Cancer is so evil.......

Big Hugs to you and your family!

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 517
Joined: May 2011

Dear Tina,

I am so very sorry to hear of your dear George's death. What a wonderful caregiver you have been. My prayer is for strength mad peace for you. I would love to have met George.

Hugs,
Cathleen Mary

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2396
Joined: Jun 2006

how my heart breaks for you. thank you for sharing the details of George's last hours.

Tina you have been a wonderful wonderful spouse in this battle....with great love

maggie

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

Please accept my deepest sympathy and love, You both will be in my thoughts forever.
Praying for you , have a big and truly hug !.

Patteee's picture
Patteee
Posts: 946
Joined: Jul 2009

You were a wonderful, wonderful caregiver for George and so many of us on this board! George and Tina have become
part of our journey, past, present and future. My prayer for you Tina is that in time the wonderful memories overwhelm
the loss. Absolutely precious years and times that can never be taken from you. Yes, he wanted you to carry those last words
with you- as if to say, if this is the last time you hear me speak, let me speak of the joy and love I have for you and our life together.
What a fabulous gift he gave you in those last moments!

Please keep coming back- don't leave. You have given us so much and not one of us want to lose you!

*hugs*

tommycat's picture
tommycat
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

Oh Tina..............! You wrote this letter while in shock, yet it conveys so very much. Very very sorry for your loss.
At a loss for words, but with much sympathy and concern,
Tommycat

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

all these years by his side, right up to the last moments of his passing. May you be comforted by all the wonderful memories that you have shared. I am very sad for you, but I am grateful that his passing was peaceful and that you were with him on his journey. I will be thinking of you in the difficult days that lie ahead. I wish you courage and strength.

Sincerely,

Cynthia

Momof2plusteentwins
Posts: 433
Joined: May 2012

I am crying as I read your words. I have so much respect for you and wish every family member could be this way. I know it was hard for you but know you did the right thing. The humane way. I wish all the best for you as you go through these hard times, just know you were the best caregiver that George could have.
Sandy

Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

Tina,
I haven't logged on to this site in months. I got your e-mail and was moved to look tonight.
I understood everything you wrote about moving from room to room and having touches of him everywhere. I am so sorry. It is so very hard to watch a loved one go through the chemo the emotions that cancer dishes out.
Please keep those last words up front and close forever they will help you in the months to come.
You have my heartfelt sympathy. Love and hugs back to you. Paula

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1062
Joined: Mar 2009

you are in my thoughts and prayers tina

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2269
Joined: Jan 2009

My Dear Tina,

My heart breaks for you my friend. You have been a beautiful wife, support, friend and more to your dear husband. George was so blessed by you and your love and I know you were so blessed by his.

I am so very sorry Tina. I will hold you in my prayers.

Aloha,
Kathleen

scared99
Posts: 72
Joined: Jun 2012

I was shedding a tear as I read that. You are both in my prayers! This horrible disease needs to be destroyed!

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 4188
Joined: Feb 2009

My heart is breaking and I'm just wanting you to know that you are in my prayers. Please let me know what the arrangements are. I'm glad you were with him.

Hugs! Kim

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1170
Joined: Apr 2009

Please know how very sorry I am to read this news. My thoughts are with you.

Luv,

Wolfen

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

I am so deeply sorry to hear this. My heartfelt condolences to you and to all who knew and loved George. You have been such a wonderful caregiver to him.

I hope that all of us have such a wonderful 'leaving taking' when our time comes. Thank you for sharing that with us. It is exactly what I would have wished for myself -- and I think many of us.

Thinking of you.

Much love,
Tara

here4lfe
Posts: 294
Joined: Jan 2010

Tina,

It sounds like you did the best you could for George, and you have my condolences and prayers that your days ahead are filled with love and happy remembrances.

Best.

BTW, my wife's nickname was Tina.

thxmiker's picture
thxmiker
Posts: 1198
Joined: Oct 2010

We are so sorry for your loss of George! We are sending our prayers and good thoughts to help you through this time.

Words escape me to tell you how much the words of encouragement have meant from you two!

Best Always, mike

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1232
Joined: Oct 2010

Tina, hugs to you and your loved ones. Your story made me sad but also gave a sense of peace at the same time. Thank you my dear for being such a support on here to all of us with this one thing in common, the touch of crc diagnosis. Love you sweet Tina!

Gail

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3387
Joined: Apr 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss of George, but I am grateful that you have his "I love you" to carry you through.
Right now, I'm doing a lot of tears and not thinking well. I'll write you more later.
Love to you,
Winter Marie

abackhou
Posts: 77
Joined: Jan 2012

I am so sorry for the loss of your Geoge (soulmate) may he rest in peace. ! will be thinking about you and I thank you for letting us know how George was feeling in those last few days. Being by his side must have made his passing so beautiful especially when he said he loved you so much.

Thank you for your post at this grieving time and it was a comfort to me knowing that you can go peacefully when the time comes.

Best wishes and hugs to you Tina.

Andrew

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3915
Joined: Nov 2010

george is at peace at last, what you shared has left me with tears.
you have been an amazing wife and have had an amazing 42 years together.
hugs,
Pete

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1261
Joined: Nov 2001

He faced nothing alone,you were with him always,a friend to the end. No one can ask for more than that. Love ron.

Semira's picture
Semira
Posts: 264
Joined: Mar 2012

I am so so sorry! A silent hug to you

k44454445's picture
k44454445
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

i am so sorry. my heart is sad right now. it is wonderful that you had so many great years together & in time may you gain strength from memories of those years. big prayers for you.
big hugs & prayers.
judy

MrsJP
Posts: 156
Joined: Jan 2011

Tina and family-
Sending a cyber hug and letting you no I'm thinking of you.

jp

steved
Posts: 836
Joined: Apr 2004

Thank you for taking the time to share your news. You can be very proud of the support and care you provided- truly a remarkable achievement. His comfortable and dignified passing are evidence of the love and care you provided. It is all anyone could ask for.

You will both be remembered by us all. Do stay and use the community here for support if it helps.

Steve

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

I am so sorry about this turn but glad that final moments were shared by you and George. God bless you and heres to peaceful days in the times ahead...we love you, buzz

janderson1964
Posts: 1501
Joined: Oct 2011

I am so truly sorry for your loss.

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 250
Joined: Sep 2011

Sending my condolences on the loss of your beloved George.

Ellen

janie1
Posts: 753
Joined: Apr 2011

Tina, I am very sorry. You have been the best!! No regrets. Peaceful transition for George.

smokeyjoe
Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

I'm so sorry to read this. Peace and continued strength to you my dear.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4266
Joined: Jun 2009

Tina,

I did not mention this yesterday, but I remember a time when you 'knew' there would come a time...but you said it was not then:)

I knew it sounded rough from what you described in your last post, but still it was a shock to wake up to this news. I am so sorry for your loss and you were an absolutely tremendous caregiver in every aspect of the definition.

I plan on reading my wife this post, so she can see true love being played out between two loving individuals who really cared for one another. That's certainly not to be underestimated...I've seen that kind of love here between many of you...

...it tells me that it is out there in that form...and it's been a beautiful thing to bear witness to during my time on this forum...a true gift if ever there was one.

You did everything right - all the way down the line. You took care of him in sickness and in health...and you shared a great life together and built many wonderful memories...even at the end, when he told you he loved you.

It's a love story...thanks so much for sharing it.

I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. Thank you for taking the time in your grief to post the news to the community. We remain sorrowful right along beside you.

You will always be welcome here! WE love you!

-Craig

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 1528
Joined: Mar 2010

There are no words.

Tina, I am so sorry to hear of George's passing. Treasure his memory.

Alice

steveandnat's picture
steveandnat
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

Tina, my deepest condolences with the passing of George. No words can be strong enough. The one thing I do know is George is with nopain now and that is a blessing. He was a very lucky man having you. I pray for George and you and everyone in Georges family. Jeff

steveandnat's picture
steveandnat
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

Tina, my deepest condolences with the passing of George. No words can be strong enough. The one thing I do know is George is with nopain now and that is a blessing. He was a very lucky man having you. I pray for George and you and everyone in Georges family. Jeff

Trapbear's picture
Trapbear
Posts: 87
Joined: Sep 2009

Tina,
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear George. You are in my prayers.
Big hugs to you,
Bill

johnnybegood's picture
johnnybegood
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

i too am sorry for your loss.you will always be a part of our family here.my thoughts are with you....Godbless...johnnybegood

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 905
Joined: May 2008

Sending you lots of hugs. May you and your family and George be surrounded by love and light.

Love, Leslie

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1260
Joined: Apr 2010

Oh Tina, I'm so very sorry to hear this terrible news. My heart is just aching for you right now. Take comfort in that he passed peacefully in your arms and that his last words were that he loved you dearly.

With much sympathy,

Cynthia

Doc_Hawk's picture
Doc_Hawk
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

I'm so very sorry to learn of George's passing. May the love that the two of you shared help to ease your spirits in the days ahead.

Doc

danker
Posts: 723
Joined: Apr 2012

George is now in a better place surrounded by love, just waiting for you to join him.

Maxiecat's picture
Maxiecat
Posts: 524
Joined: Jul 2012

I am so sorry Tina. Your beloved George fought hard. You are an amazingly strong woman and can get through what the next few days has in store for you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hold on to your wonderful memories of your life and love together.

Love and gentle hugs,
Alex

abmb's picture
abmb
Posts: 311
Joined: Sep 2009

I am so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. Sounds like you made your husband feel as comfortable as possible and you were there to help him go Home. God Bless! Margaret

ketziah35
Posts: 1138
Joined: Jun 2010

I am so sorry to hear this news. Georges fought a long hard battle. Sending prayers, hugs and thoughts to your family.

Ketz

Jaylo969
Posts: 826
Joined: Jan 2010

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear George. My thoughts and prayers are with you now and in the days, weeks, and months ahead. Tina, you have been an AMAZING caregiver and DO NOT ever forget it.

Love and hugs to you,
-Pat

YoVita's picture
YoVita
Posts: 539
Joined: Mar 2010

Your George is at peace. I am so impressed with the love you both shared. It is such a wonderful example to the rest of us. And I hope it helps you to have been left with his last words - "I love you so very much too".

lauragb
Posts: 368
Joined: Aug 2011

I'm very sorry for your loss but know you rejoice in the love you shared. It sounds like a very peaceful passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you in these hard times you face.

Laura

Luckygirl2
Posts: 307
Joined: Mar 2012

So sorry for your loss, so glad you were able to hold him and comfort him and yourself. Prayers to you and your family.

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2171
Joined: Oct 2011

I'm so, so sorry that you lost your dear George. I'm sure he felt wrapped in your love and kindness right to the end. Hugs and peace~Ann Alexandria

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