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The hardest hours... update..... Thanks

Lorikat's picture
Lorikat
Posts: 558
Joined: Jul 2011

I am not sure I will actually post this but find the need to put feelings into words......

I am sitting in my Mothers hospice room watching her as she works to turn the corner into her new life, her new neighborhood. She has not eaten nor taken in fluids for nearly a week. She is basically non responsive. Her breathing is excellerated, her body temperature high. My God, I hope she is at peace.....

I ache to wrap her in love and take her home... To make everything better.... To make her well again.

I want us to fuss with each other, roll our eyes behind each other's back. I want to go spend time with her and not say that "I need to rest Mom", I'll come later.. Because there is no later. .. There will never be a "later".

I want her back......

My Mom passed away today. ..... I already miss her so very much. Lorikat

Thank you all for the kind thoughts and words. I know this was off subject but I appreciate so much a place to talk.....

z's picture
z
Posts: 1257
Joined: May 2009

I'm so sorry. I hope your mom is at peace. We stayed with my grandma for her last hours and waited for her to go and we were all there, and there is no other place I wanted to be. My grandma comes to me in dreams and I miss her, and remember what a strong wonderful woman she was with all the memories. There were some eye rolls there too. Lori

sephie's picture
sephie
Posts: 529
Joined: Apr 2009

i am sorry that you are going through this .... please love yourself... your mom loves you and loves knowing that you are there with her. sephie

Dog Girl
Posts: 100
Joined: Sep 2010

Lorikat,

My heart goes out to you. I lost my Mother earlier this year and I still catch myself starting to call her. However I still have conversations with her all the time and to tell the truth, if I want to ask her a question or her opinion, I already know what she would say. My Mom was under home hospice care and they are wonderful. While I don't know the specifics of your Mom's case, I think I can confidently say that she is not suffering.
And this was a huge relevation to me; I knew that I wouldn't stop loving my Mom when she passed, but I was surprised that I still felt the love from her. I hope you do the same and I will keep you in my prayers.

eihtak
Posts: 850
Joined: Oct 2011

You are in my thoughts and I pray that both your mother and yourself are able to have peace. It is such a difficult thing to see our mothers move on. My mom died seven years ago, and although daily life happens and I move forward, she is always on my mind. I see her eyes, I hear her laugh, I feel her soft arms, and her creative personality shines in all the people she has touched. Sometimes out of the blue a stranger will make a comment or have an expression on their face that was all my mom, and I know she is here. She had this thing for dragonflys and I often see them in the most unusual places, again, she is here. All my daughters have dragonfly tatoos! I will pray that you will come to that place where her memory brings a smile to your heart and gives you strength.

Marynb
Posts: 1134
Joined: Aug 2012

I am sorry for your loss. You were blessed to be able to be there with her as she passed.

Mary

mp327's picture
mp327
Posts: 2949
Joined: Jan 2010

I am so very sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I will keep you in my prayers and ask that you be comforted by the loving memories you have. May God bless.

AZANNIE
Posts: 390
Joined: Mar 2011

My condolences to you...

Ann

sandysp's picture
sandysp
Posts: 811
Joined: May 2011

Our lives are running parallel. I lost my mom in August. We had our treatments within weeks of each other. Unbelievable.

I agree with the other posts here that I feel the love of my mother and feel my love for her just as strongly if not more than before. I am glad I accepted her and she accepted me after many years of struggling, each of us annoyed with each other a lot of the time.

I got a puppy and think of her every time I look at her. I call her "little girl" all the time. My mother used to call me "little girl" right on up until she died.

God bless you. It's really hard.

Love,
Sandy

Gulamin
Posts: 132
Joined: Dec 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. I am happy you were able to spent the last weeks, days, hours together. Being in the moment.

lizdeli's picture
lizdeli
Posts: 521
Joined: Jul 2009

I have been absent from the board for awhile, had foot surgery and gum surgery - folish choice to do them both within in one week. I am sorry for your loss. May both your mother's memories be eternal and may God grant you strength and healing. I lost my Mom six years ago and it was the most painful time in my life. Time does help us cope, but we never stop missing them.
Hugs to you both,
Liz

mp327's picture
mp327
Posts: 2949
Joined: Jan 2010

I don't want to hi-jack this thread, but just wanted to say I hope you are doing well after your surgeries. I've had both--bunion surgery in 2005 and gum surgery last December. Neither are fun. Hang in there, healing is around the corner!

RoseC's picture
RoseC
Posts: 503
Joined: Jun 2011

I'm so sorry Lorikat. My mom is having issues, not life-threatening at this point, but I so much dread the thought of losing her. My condolences to you. I'm sure she IS watching from elsewhere.

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