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Does your doctor have a chaperone present when examining you?

jendrey's picture
jendrey
Posts: 377
Joined: Sep 2009

How about a courtesy knock before entering the exam room? Almost universally, all medical staff will give a short courtesy knock prior to entering the exam room. Usually before the doctor actually examines me he will get a nurse to chaperone. The last 3 or 4 times I've seen the new NP instead of the doctor. The NP is everything the doctor isn't...except I've noticed that he doesn't do these two things.

Also, he doesn't bother with me putting on a gown..he just asks me to lift my shirt up.

So how common is this? Does your doctor/nurse do this or not so much?

(((Hugs)))

lynn1950's picture
lynn1950
Posts: 2572
Joined: Jun 2008

And yes a courtesy knock. Sometimes, they forget the gown part and last time was awkward as I am very shy about my scars and really prefer a gown. But for the most part my NP and MO are terrific about my feelings. xoxoxox Lynn

MAJW
Posts: 2515
Joined: May 2009

Tell the NP you'd prefer a knock and a gown.....nothing wrong with you asking for these two courtesy......when I see my onc instead of the PA, who is a female, he always knocks and he gives me a gown, he disappears for about 5 minutes and then knocks...again....my husband has always been in the room except for my last exam...(first time he's missed in 3 years)...no one in the room but the onc and me...he's been my onc for 3 years...we know each other well, so it doesn't bother him or me...now my radiation onc always had his nurse in the room when he checked my skin, weekly...

So...if you are uncomfortable speak up....the NP wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable...
Hugs, Nancy

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 3954
Joined: Oct 2009

No, but Danny (husband) is always with me. I guess he is chaperone enough...lol.

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2124
Joined: Jun 2010

Jendrey,

Please don't allow anyone to intimidate you. Request that he knock before entering and ask for a gown from the nurse who takes your vital signs before you see the doc.

If he doesn't knock after you request this courtesy, make him go out and come in again. It is a courtesy to knock before entering a closed door no matter who you are.

There should be a female nurse if he is examining your privates. I don't know if breast are today considered privates. However, if you are not comfortable alone with him, you should definitely ask the nurse to be in the room with you.

Your the consumer and you can request these normal courtesies.

I have mostly female doctors now. All do knock before entering.

Best,

Doris

rallendorfer
Posts: 245
Joined: May 2012

And the hospital I go to is a teaching center so it was a veritable party in my exam room and more just kept coming in. I threatened to open the door and invite the whole darn place once after yet another one came in the room. These breasts haven't gotten this much attention since I was 18...

I didn't need a chaperone...I needed a caterer!

lynn1950's picture
lynn1950
Posts: 2572
Joined: Jun 2008

Bless your heart. xoxoxox Lynn

salls41's picture
salls41
Posts: 340
Joined: Apr 2012

O Rebecca thats how I felt this past weekend at my hospital..teaching hospital.. I have a drain hanging out my Butt cheek and all these "kids" keep coming in and lifting my gown to see how things are going! I though my goodness talk about showing your a$$!

mom62
Posts: 600
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi,

My doctor and nurse practioner (depending on who I see) always knock before they come in. It states directly on the wall where I go if you want a nurse present during your exam you can ask for it. Personally I never do I've gone there for so long and am comfortable. The NP does a gown as did my doctor before he retired this past month. My new oncologist doesn't have me put on a gown which I LOVE. Sometimes I felt like I spent a lifetime in those things and they never fit right or the strings are broken. This is just my opinion of course.

If you want a knock, gown or a nurse in the room ask for it you are entitled!

Terry

Alexis F's picture
Alexis F
Posts: 3604
Joined: May 2009

My husband is always with me for every appointment, so, I have never been alone at any doctor's appointment. And yes, the doctors and nurses always knock on the door before they enter the room.

Hugs, Lex

LoveBabyJesus's picture
LoveBabyJesus
Posts: 1650
Joined: Jan 2011

I would say something if it bothers you. I always bring someone with me into the room, but there's always a nurse present. I wouldn't feel comfortable with just a male Dr. (or even a female!lol). You want to feel relaxed and confident when you go into that room. The stress of going to your appt. should be sufficient.

I always get asked to change into a gown.

In a way, I've lost some shame. I'm not shy anymore! I now expose them to the world. But I would still feel uncomfortable with only one person present.

If it really bothers you, please ask.

XOXO

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 3954
Joined: Oct 2009

My previous answer to you, although joking was insensitive and bothering me.

I believe, like some of the others, that whenever you are uncomfortable, you should immediately speak up. If a provider is at all worthwhile, they will reassure you and provide you with an attendant.

Personally, I don't care if I have an attendant unless I am getting a weird vibe. As to the knocking, I think that is rude and unusual. He may just be rushed, but that is no excuse. I believe strongly that we all should really trust that inner voice that warns us if someone is off. I am sensing that this NP's approach may be concerning you and that could be serious.

If you are uncomfortable with his approach, you should either let him and/or let someone else in the office know. Do not keep quiet, because, if he is up to anything (which I sincerely hope he is just insensitive), others must be made aware. Look at it this way, if he is "off", you may be protecting someone else by speaking up.

RozHopkins
Posts: 462
Joined: Dec 2010

Yes always a knock on the door at every appt including GP. I do not wear gown when seeing oncol just pull up my top. Also oncol has a chaperone called in before exam.

Frankie Shannon
Posts: 457
Joined: Oct 2011

All give a courtesy knock,i have female Dr's and don't have a chaperone but did when i had to see the surgeon as he was a male.Some times they will give me a gown some times not.But i'm not shy of my scares so it doesn't bother me.
Hugs Frankie

salls41's picture
salls41
Posts: 340
Joined: Apr 2012

I always get the Knock at the MO office, hubby is always there so I never had her nurse but I would not care if I didn't have anyone. I really like and trust my MO. MY PS ALWAYS knocks.. in office or at hospital. Always has a nurse..in office or at hospital. My BS always knocks, no nurse but again, hubby is always there and again she is a she and I love her and trust her and would not care if it was just us. You need to feel comfortable so speak up. Listen to your gut, if you think there is a reason this makes you uncomfortable maybe you should calol and speak to a nurse and ask that your conversation be confidential but that you are requesting another presence in your exam room.

Rague
Posts: 3303
Joined: Aug 2009

I have always prefered to deal with my Drs 'one on one'. Do not want 'someone' else standing there staring. You can 'bet your Sweet Bippy' that if something went on 'strange' - I have the voice that will 'bring down the rafters'. (How do 'you' know the other person 'watching's is who they should be?) Personally I'd rather pull up my shirt and mast. bra rather than 'de-robing' with someone else standing there standing stating at my scar ( it a nice litttle/llong line).

We are all different and need to do what we (personally) are comfortable with! There is no right/wrong. If you want someone other then Dr. there - it's what you to

Winyan - The Power Within

Susan

jendrey's picture
jendrey
Posts: 377
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks for all the great responses!

LOL @ CCynthia - your comment didn't bother me in the least! (Something I might've said myself back when he used to go with me. =)

LOL @ rallendorfer on the caterer! I also go to a 'teaching hospital' with only occasional residents and student nurses I excuse the latter from the room just on principle!

---

It's not that I feel uncomfortable with this NP, not exactly. He always listens to me and never once gave me the feeling of being rushed like that oncologist does. That being said, he has made a couple/few unsolicited comments. Which, since I don't know him this may very well be just his manner. For instance, he told me that he thought the plastic surgeon did a good job on the mammary fold line. I think he said something like 'they look pretty good and rest along the same line'...okaaay.

Oh, and then there was the comment about my sunglasses. I have these Harley Davidson brand sunglasses that this biker guy gave to me at the auto swap meet. They remind me of how people are so different yet essentially the same. The lenses are light enough that I usually forget to take them off inside. Or maybe I just hide behind them or maybe revel in the bravado of a rough and tumble biker when I wear them, i dunno!!! (Could be it's the slight rose tint that makes everything so much sharper!)

Anyhoo, the NP says to me those glasses really look good on you. Huh?

I'm considering exploring vaginal dryness with him next time, just to see what that topic brings about! No, I'm kidding. Well, sort of...maybe I'll mention how all the weight gain makes me so unattractive and move on to the vaginal dryness... =)

But yeah, a courtesy knock if nothing else. (No matter what planet of rudeness he's from!!! =)

((Hugs)))

Rague
Posts: 3303
Joined: Aug 2009

I love it when students are there! How are they supposed to learn if not by dealing with patients? Actually I've learned quite bit from the questions they ask and the answe4rs given.

We all see things differently.

Winyan - The Power Within

Susan

jendrey's picture
jendrey
Posts: 377
Joined: Sep 2009

Yeah, when there is a resident or student PA, I invite them to step closer or to feel the spot in question. They are always surprised and invariably look to the doctor first! LOL

Student nurses on the other hand are a whole different story. Sometimes, they are like on day 1 of their nursing career and/or on a field trip or something...no thanks I'd rather skip that! =)

(((Hugs)))

Angie2U's picture
Angie2U
Posts: 2993
Joined: Sep 2009

They have always knocked and my hubby is always with me also. Also, I've always been asked if they want to bring a student in, and, I've always said no. I am there to see my doctor only, not some stranger.

Angie

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 3954
Joined: Oct 2009

I was concerned because, many years ago when I was 18 (before I had any training as a nurse), I had a roommate who complained about an OB/GYN saying weird things. All of her roommates (including me) kind of dismissed her as being overreactive. Suffice it to say, she was not.

Now, I think it is important for women to be conscious that sexual assaults, unfortunately, are fairly common. The very worst to me is when someone you inherently trust (like a healthcare provider) betrays that trust. But there are bad apples in every profession, so be on your guard for awhile. He may be innocent, but it is best to be safe without being paranoid. And do speak up. You have a perfect right to have your privacy and wishes honored and protected. Big (((hugs)))

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Mine always knock, but really, it doesn't matter to me. I lost my modesty along time ago. It is a nice courtesy though.

Megan

camul's picture
camul
Posts: 2034
Joined: Dec 2010

Today there was no gown or nurse, but after so many years I don't have a problem with it, but he is just checking my hips, ribs and lymph nodes now for changes, so I don't really need a gown.

But I would tell him if you want both, and CC, I too laughed at that remark, as it is something that would come out of my mouth without a thought!

Carol

survivorbc09
Posts: 4378
Joined: Jun 2009

I always get the knock with any doctor I see, which I think is the right way to do it.

Jan

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5334
Joined: Oct 2010

MY GYNO always-my onologist NEVER!

Denise

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