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I Miss My Friends

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

Early on I felt like I had a lot of support from friends and family. Now that I'm almost 5 months into this diagnosis and nearing the end of treatment, my doorbell has stopped ringing, my phone is quiet, my e-mail is empty. It's as if everyone went on vacation at the same time! I know it's the end of summer and people have their own lives, but I feel very alone.

sdukowitz
Posts: 250
Joined: Nov 2011

Same thing happened to me this winter ... people go onto their own lives but maybe you could call a couple of them and initiate still keeping in touch once a month or getting together for lunch, etc ... I realized that I had to reach out to those who helped me when I needed it and even made a meal for some of them and dropped it off at their doors ...after I felt better I just wanted to help others who were in need I am back working part time too which helps and also visit the home bound parishioners from my church you always have your friends from this board to come too we care and are here for you! SUE D

jendrey's picture
jendrey
Posts: 377
Joined: Sep 2009

Unfortunately, this has happened to quite a few of us here. It may be more common than anyone truly realizes. Sort of like one of those long term side effects with lasting damage.

There is another thread about 5 pages back that you might want to look over. The post was by Bar_B and is titled: "How do you survive when people you love decide to leave you because you have cancer?"

I think bluwillo sums it up succinctly: "Some people just hear "cancer" and think "uh oh, dead girl walkin'" (Very rude, I agree)"

You'll make many new friends here on this board and I know they'll never replace your actual friends. But, then again, obviously those friends just don't get it..and here we do get it. We really do.

We are here for you, anytime, day or night. No question too big or small. No wondering how silly it may sound to someone who doesn't have cancer.

I'm so sorry that this has happened too you.

(((Hugs)))

camul's picture
camul
Posts: 2117
Joined: Dec 2010

I think this is normal. We want off the roller coaster ride and everything that goes with it, lucky for them, they don't have to stay on it. Sometimes it is hard when I have to do the treatments, appointments, etc. alone, but honestly, I wouldn't be there if I didn't have to. However, I do know that if I need anything, I can call and they will be here in a minute. I just have never been able to ask for help, and having cancer doesn't make it any easier.

I have been very fortunate that my boys and ex are always here for me. I know the other facet to this is it is hard for people who love me, to see me go through all the chemo and the ups and downs of this, and still get tumors. So they do what they can and I love them for it.

This is not a disease of one, it affects everyone who cares about me. Today I got to spend the whole day with one of my brothers and his wife. We both knew this could be it and would have talked all night, but his wife was falling asleep! He lives out of town but came here for a month to get out of the desert heat. It is hard for people to be around us when we are sick, and cancer is the ultimate disease!

I hope it gets better for you,
Carol

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2198
Joined: Jun 2010

One can not sustain the level of frenzy that happens when a diagnose of breast cancer happens or a new recurrence. People are there, the family, the relatives, the friends, the co-workers all wanting to help. As time goes on, interest wanes.

I am beginning my 19th year in this journey with a slow growing, estrogen positive cancer. Some of the years, the ride was awful and I need and was given a lot of support. Some years, I was NED and even I at times would forget that I was dealing with this disease. I was taking my med and still visiting my oncologist but life was good. Today, I still have active cancer and it's doesn't require any outside reinforcements. I never tell anyone when I am going for a scan, what my oncologist has to say at my appointments. I keep going for treatments and dealing with it. Having been in the game so long, I deal with a lot of side effects from the treatments in addition to regular problems, like fatigue.

These boards are wonderful as they allow us to share this voyage with fellow travelers who do understand what this is all about. We are all not in the same place with this disease. We do comprehend were each individual is in this journey and it is we, that are there to give them the helping hand they need.

Best wishes to you,

Doris

MAJW
Posts: 2515
Joined: May 2009

My sister in law who is a 23 year bc survivor, told me 3 years ago when I started this journey...."You'll find out who your real friends are".....she hit the nail on the head! I think most of us have experienced this.....friends drop by the wayside....my feeling is, they weren't real friends in the first place...it really bothered me at first but now I don't care! My real friends are still with me...there is one who was my " friend"...of 23 years...she lives 4 houses down from me....she has never so much as walked down the street to visit me....go figure! She always says when I see her, " if you need anything, call me"...yeah, I'm gonna call her and say "I need some help"......

Personally, when I know someone is in need, I just do! I don't ask what I can do I just do it!....pick up some groceries, make a meal,I've gathered others to help me clean their houses, etc.... women almost never ask for help, and the " friends" should get that! But alas....I know they can't relate to what we're going through....but common sense goes a long way...we're not contagious!

Keep posting....we won't abandon you...we care
Hugs, Nancy

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

It is good to know that you all understand and that I am not alone.

It just amazes me how tone deaf some people can be.

I had one friend call me the other day and leave a voice message. When I finally listened to it I thought I was going to hear her checking on me and asking if I'm ok. Instead, she called to invite my daughter to her daughter's bday party, far from our home, and even said "Hope you guys had a good summer!" Good summer? How about it was a tough summer with 40 trips back and forth to the hospital! How about offering to pick her up for us?

Someone I thought was a friend got mad at me over some nonsense and stopped speaking to me, cancelled taking me to treatment and dinner one day, stopped taking my calls and started bad-mouthing me on facebook! How does someone do this to a cancer patient during treatment? She is obviously a disturbed person and wasn't really a friend to begin with, but even my closest friends, who know she did this, haven't tried to fill the void.

I agree with you, Nancy...women shouldn't wait for us to tell them what we need...they should just see a need and fill it. That is what I do for friends, and that is what I will do for other breast cancer patients when I start volunteering next month.

survivorbc09
Posts: 4378
Joined: Jun 2009

I think that when we go on this ride with bc, we find out exactly who are true friends are, and, maybe that is a good thing. Your true friends will stick with you, through thick and thin.

I've been so lucky to have such a strong network of close family and friends. I don't know what I would have done or do without any of them.

I am very sorry that what you've gone through happened to you or to anyone. Just remember, you've got all of us and we won't abandon you!

Hugs, Jan

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

And so good to know that you all are here! Thanks!

debsweb18
Posts: 190
Joined: Jun 2012

After treatment is over, people think your're just like you use to be. It's over, time to move on. Since I didn't have chemo, I never looked sick. People told me how great I look. I think they were surprised. If only they know how I feel sometimes. Work was so understanding while I went through treatment, but now they expect me to "put" in the hours. I can barely make it through an 8 hour day and I'm done for! The others are young guys that don't want to go home to their wives :)I still need to talk about it, but I don't think others want to hear about it anymore. So this is the place to come!

Deb

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

I also didn't have chemo, don't look sick, haven't lost wait and I still have my hair. Yet every day I feel like every bit the cancer patient that I am. People do seem surprised when I tell them how bad it's been. And I do want to talk about it at times, but I don't think some folks can handle hearing about it. So yes...this is the place, indeed! Thanks.

rallendorfer
Posts: 245
Joined: May 2012

between a shallow relationship with people and friendship. Scratch the surface of inconvenience and it rears its ugly head. They want to go on and be happy, they don't want to be weighted down. We want to be happy too, so would we by-pass someone who is depressed and going through another disease for a get-together or a fun day at the amusement park or a cruise? I think that would be a possibility. Would we stop calling someone if we "just didn't know what to say anymore" or "don't know how to help"?

Let us remember and see if we can curb that monster in us! Ok, I am preaching to myself. But I know I know I know what you are going through. We all are social creatures and need others. My heart goes out to you.

Love and hugs,
Rebecca

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

I know the difference now, alright.
I am not afraid to dive into the dark side of life when it comes to others. I honestly don't hesitate to go there when someone is in need, and I go the extra mile to seek them out. But I know there must be times when I haven't "been there" like I should, and this experience has made me even more intent on making sure I am.
Thank you so much for reaching out and making this important point!

hope4thebest's picture
hope4thebest
Posts: 108
Joined: Aug 2012

I think that after diagnosis, treatment and survivorship, others want the best for us, and reassure us the cancer is gone. People do fade away and want to forget it ever happened. I am trying to forgive, it is hard. Even though they should understand we are getting over cancer not just an earache, I think we have to speak up and let them know how chellenging it is for us. We may look better, but they don't know how we really feel. With me, I am vocalizing this and finding that many do not want to hear it, some have not responded after I have asked for help... I am getting intouch with other people and trying to meet new ones that match my lifestyle better. I joined a yoga class and have some great new people in my life. I'm glad you mentioned the topic because I noticed this has happened with most of my friends. It has been over a year for me, and things have completely changed.

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

So true!
When I read "things have changed completely," it was quite the reality check.
CHANGE...that is what this is, isn't it?
Thank you so much for sharing that.

LC814's picture
LC814
Posts: 18
Joined: Aug 2012

Your not the only one, I was just diagnosed and when I told my friends they ran like they were gonna catch it too. the few true friends I have I count my blesings for.... even some of my family turned a blind eye, as if I was being over dramatic.....
My daughters (they are 11 and 8)handled my diagnosis better then the grown adults.....
I was left feeling alone, nervous and scared.... and my surgery is this Tuesday.

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

who has been a wonderful support and has handled everything with grace, honesty and love.

Peace & comfort for your surgery. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

thoughts & prayers...

bluwillo
Posts: 113
Joined: May 2010

Are you an attorney? NO, I'm not going to ask you legal questions (so rude!) Wanna be friends? I work in our Prosecutor's office. I'm sure you and I would have lots to talk about (without violating any confidentiality type issues....like I won't tell you the name of the parrot that I asked our detective bureau to get contact info on because I think the parrot would make a great witness in our case....that made us spend all afternoon giggle-snorting about!) I'm not an attorney, I'm just the potted plant that sits at the reception desk and can do anything but cut deals and sign papers....all with a broken rib and bronchitis.

As for the friend thing, it hurts to say this, but when people in our building ask me how I'm doing, I can see actual concern in their eyes. My 6 brothers and sisters never (like in 6 months) even call to see if I'm still alive. I'm thinking of sending them all a note that says "Hey, sorry, you're gonna have to get another paralegal to help you get your divorce, custody of your kids, mount a rebellion in your town and take over the town council, get you not foreclosed on....etc. because I actually died in January! So, it's ok that you haven't called, and yeah, I feel pretty good for being dead!"

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

Sorry it took so long for me to see this, bluwillo! You are a hoot!

I am an attorney in New York City. I work with a judge and we handle criminal felony trials and run a drug court. I do legal research and write opinions/decisions for her and the like. I have been home all summer doing rads and recovering, so I look forward to getting back to the grind on Wednesday, after 3 months off.

I know what you mean about people only reaching out when they need advice/something. I get A LOT of that. But I am not entertaining any of it anymore. I am giving myself permission to say "sorry...wish I could help but my hands are full with juggling my life, my work and my diagnosis."

Let's keep in touch and compare notes, friend!

hope4thebest's picture
hope4thebest
Posts: 108
Joined: Aug 2012

I can relate so much to all of these posts! As I get back up from this illness, I am realizing that I need different people in life life than I had before. Those prior relationships no longer satisfy, I have grown. So, as we move forward, cut ourselves some slack, for I think that we are also actively cutting the ties, as much as our long lost friends/family have. (Altho they are still there if we want to pick up the phone, I think we have learned to harness our energy for other really great things that are more beneficial to us now).
Yes, I too have learned to say no, they still ask, and ask. Thank you for your posts, and I want to remind us to appreciate those new people that have come, or will come into our lives.

lintx's picture
lintx
Posts: 456
Joined: Sep 2012

My bilateral/Diep flap reconstruction was in May 12. In July someone from my gym thought a few of us should do lunch. I was excited because of being home for what felt like forever. It was the most uncomfortable hour I'd spent in a long time. No one asked anything directly, but the stares were awkward. I knew they expected to see me rolling in at 70 pounds w/hollow looking eyes or whatever! They spoke all around me about changes in the classes. No direct conversation toward me and no eye contact. They gave me quick air kiss goodbyes. (Let's not touch her, or we'll get cancer.) The only contact I had from most people I thought I knew well was a text here and there. I do know that people are busy, but very few followed through on even a phone call. I had lunch recently w/another bc patient, and she has experienced the same things. I've known so many women before me w/bc and haven't treated them differently. People are living longer and longer after diagnosis. One of my callers was a woman asking if I had decided on chemo or accepting death!! This was before I even had surgery, and it ultimately turned out no chemo. Another called to say she was praying for me to have an easy passing. They are both oldtimers, who relate cancer to dying and have no clue about treatment or much else. I've had very little contact with anyone through this process. Linda

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

My heart is so heavy right now, reading your comment. What a horrible experience that lumch must have been. And the fatal things peole have said to you...I am just appalled! I do think a lot of people hear "death sentence" when they hear that someone is diagnosed with cancer, not realizing that people are living longer and stronger with all of the advances in treatment. I am so sorry you have had to go through this. It pains me that you say you've had very little contact with others during this process. No one should have to do this alone. Yet, here I am, late on a Saturday night, feeling like the only people who will understand how lonely I feel right now are the loving and caring and giving people on this network. God bless ya'll.

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

when you mention needing different people now. I feel like I am a different person in so many ways, so this would follow. I'm ready to move on and allow for new relationships at this point in my life. Thank you for making this point!

bluwillo
Posts: 113
Joined: May 2010

We had a guy on parole who's a drug dealer. He went to another guy to do what most drug dealers do...sell some drugs. Only problem was, his buyer thought the price a tad too high (hey, this economy is rough on all forms of business!) so, the buyer shoots the dealer in the chest-through and through. The dealer must have some awesome juju, cos the shot just went thru and hit no major organs or blood vessels. He just needed stitches, and he was out (actually, I think I saw him on my "guest list". It's the list the jail sends me everyday to tell me who we're currently hosting). This is a good enough story, right? Welll....

The dealer, after getting shot in the chest (or as I call it, "center of mass"...where I aim for) pulls out HIS gun (note to self: when doing a drug deal, always bring my own gun) and shoots buyer in the abdomen (chest wounds must be hell on one's aim). Buyer ends up in hospital in serious condition.

The problem? Boss and I discussed what the better charges are: violating parole (both of them), or possesion/selling marijauna, bath salts,whatever. I'm all about putting the bad guys away for as long as possible-saves me paperwork, especially if they go into the prison system-makes writting them much easier. Boss of course is just letting me ask questions so he can show off his awesome knowledge of the law. Me, I'm just figuring out what's the meanest thing we can do to these guys, short of putting them on an island and letting them finish the job.

Oh, and the other question I'm mulling this weekend (I always mull the weird cases over the weekend...and watch the news to see what kind of new file I'll have to open on MOnday) is either a double homicide/suicide or a triple homicide, arson to top it off. We finally got the autopsy reports and I read them. WORST THING YOU CAN READ ON AN AUTOPSY REPORT: "Cause of death indeterminate". so I got one homicide, and 2 indeterminate. Thank goodness we have this great thing called a sheriff's dept who does the investigation!!! Boss didn't read the autopsies, but I did. He asked me why (not in a bad way) and I just told him I wanted to see what jumps out at me. I do have some medical knowledge, so I told him a few things we could rule out. He was impressed. Sadly, I think this one will leave a lot of unanswered questions.

so, you do drug court? How does that work? You guys test the drugs and decide which ones are the worst, LOL? We have recovery court. It's for drugs and drinks. I'm not sure how effective it is...I see a lot of reports where the defendant just says, after a month or so of recovery court "forget it! I'd rather do the 90 days in jail than this stuff!" Makes me wonder what goes on in there. Our assistant prosecutor goes to that court, I tell her to lay off the wine and maybe she won't have to go....:)

Are you tired of being tired? I'm still tired, after 2 years but that might be because I took this job 1 month after finishing rads. Take it easy when you go back, take naps on your lunch hour (1/2 the little town I work in know I nap in my car cos I'm exhausted, the other half just think I'm drunk and might need recovery court!)

I envy you working for a judge. That's awesome! You must have some really big cases. And you get to follow them all the way through? that's great. I very rarely get to go to court, except for my child support cases (I'm that awful child support lady in our county) or when a certain bad guy is in da house...he's the reason I carry, so I've invested a lot of time and training and money because of him....oh, and the best part???? He has decided to go pro per....it's a hoot to watch him in court!

Are you laughing yet? And no, I still haven't gotten the contact info on the parrot...but his owner is in our jail. I wonder who is feeding the parrot?!

Stay rested!

bluwillo
Posts: 113
Joined: May 2010

I have 3 sisters, and we all used to be very close. In the last 8 months, I've talked to 2 of them twice. The third one calls me most every week, and we talk. We ask each other questions, and are really interested in the answers. We are involved with each other's lives. The other 2 sisters, when we do talk to them, usually they just talk about themselves and their lives. No questions for us, no "hey, how ya doing? How's life?" from them. It's all about them.

This morning the good sister called. We talked (just barely missed being catty...we're so proud of ourselves) and I said "Hey, remember Betty? That one that used to be our sister? And what about Tracey, remember her, she was our littlest sister? Wonder whatever happened to them?" OMG< we laughed so hard!!! It was like we were looking at the family photo, and their heads were crossed out (not in a mean way, really). We find laughter helps us deal with quite a lot.

The sad part is that Tracey does the same thing to her daughter, and now her daughter doesn't even want to call her mom, cos daughter is tired of mom not expressing any interest in daughter's life. I mean, daughter moved to a town 30 miles away, and mom didn't get it till 6 months later!!!

Moral of the story: We all move on, some faster than others, and some on different roads. People whose roads are fabulous just want to talk about how fabulous it is, people who take the two-track with lots of pot holes and bumps just shut up and keep driving, knowing at the end of the trip, it will have been worth it. I have 4-wheel drive...so I'm good. And my good sister loves to go two-tracking with me...I'm the designated driver!

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

...

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

...but my head is spinning!

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

More in a moment...I want to read what else you just wrote. Crazytown.

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

...as mine. We do felony trials so it's everything from rape to murder to assault to LOTS of drug cases. Then once a week we do what is aptly called "judicial diversion" aka drug court, where we screen eligible drug offenders for rehab programs and monitor the ones who get in. If they screw up we deal with that and if they succeed then their cases get dismissed. As we are in Manhattan, we work with a big-time prosecutor's office and some high-profile defense lawyers. But we do get the occasional defendant who wants to represent themselves and they can be entertaining...or painful to watch. While I have been out, my judge was supposed to try a sex-trafficking case with a defendant who was pro se (or pro per as ya'll call it). Judge said his pre=trial motion papers were very well prepared, so she thought he might do a capable job before a jury. I look forward to getting back and hearing about that one.

I just finished rads on 8/29 and I am still pretty whipped. Got burnes very badly but my skin is healing quickly. I am nervous about being able to keep my stamina up for my long commute to NYC from the suburbs of Central NJ. So I have been walking around my block each day, trying to get my strength up. Otherwise, I am doing a whole lot of nothing, other than some laundry here and there. Just taking it easy. Trying to get my mind right!

You are so blessed to have a "good" sister. My siblings suck. I love them, but they have been utterly useless throughout this journey. When I called to tell my one (step) sister my diagnosis, she rushed me off the phone, then yelled at me later when I couldn't answer all of HER questions. I didn't speak to her for week because she was so mean. Then one of my (adopted) brothers (I have two) I am close to but he has found every excuse in the world not to visit me since my diagnosis. Then he gets mad at ME because I get disappointed when he doesn't show up. He is very young though (only 21 this year), and I am old enouggh to be his mother (49!), so he gets a pass. My other, also young brother I haven't spoken to in months because he was abusive to our mother and was abusing marijuana (I keept begging him to stop...it was changing his personality). But he did call me before surgery in May and wished me well. When he complained to our mother that I didn't return his call, our mother told him "too liitle too late." I'm kinda done with the whole lot of siblings I have acquired...but I love them from a distance.

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

You are not alone and never will be! You've got all of US! And, we aren't going anywhere!

Hugs, Diane

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

You are not alone and never will be! You've got all of US! And, we aren't going anywhere!

Hugs, Diane

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

That's why I am here now.
Thank you!

MAJW
Posts: 2515
Joined: May 2009

Always wanted a sister and look....I now have more than I can count! Friends have come and gone....my sister in law (husband's brother's wife) is a 22 year bc survivor and she came to take care of me when I had my lumpectomy...3 years ago...at the time, when she told me this, I thought nah, that won't happen to me,....she said "You'll find out who you're real friend's are".....she hit it it spot on! as I am STILL fighting the beast (stageIV but in remission.) I've posted this before, one "friend" of 23 years lives 3 houses down....in 3 years, she has never so much as walked down the street, or picked up a phone..oh! She's not a "phone" person.....I have very little contact with her...but our husbands are close....the ones who have disappeared, "Ta Ta" ...bye bye!....don't call me I'll call you...not! My closest friend of 28 years is still with me, but she's busy spending her money(millions) from the sale of her share of a family business...I feel her drifting away now...I won't be throwing her a life line....lol....the one GOOD friend I do have was merely a very, very casual friend...she developed bc 21/2 yrs. ago....not to pat myself on the back but I stepped up to the plate for her....I was in my first remission then....got her through 3 surgeries and rads.....then Melenoma.....she's fine now and can't do enough for me....love her to pieces! She gets it!

I'm rambling.........and we aren't contagious! I want to shout that from the roof tops! So "my sisters" we're here for one another....I wish we could ALL MEET face to face one day....I envy those wo have met in person.....
Hugs, Nancy

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

You are not rambling at all! This was so good for me to read tonight because just today I received a nasty text from someone I thought was a friend but she got mad at me over some nonsense in July...and has been making my life miserable ever since. Who does that?

You deserve a hug for all that you did for your friend...and she for all that she has done for you! True friendship.

rallendorfer
Posts: 245
Joined: May 2012

Wow, that person needs a reality check. You know what I am doing, Attygirl?...I am stopping before I react these days to reassess. They say it is a sign of insanity to do the same thing over and over expecting different results. And all of my life I've reacted to things the same way and wondered why it just kept turning out the way it did. So, now even if it is a minor change (for the good) that is what I am doing. For instance, if I had gotten a text like you maybe the old me would have immediately defended myself...but now maybe, just maybe, I would hit "delete" and with all of my effort push the thought of it out of my mind and bake some cookies for the neighbor. And let the accusation and wicked attack run the course of its own energy without me fueling it.

Just a little gramma advice. I am just now trying this after my own cancer diagnosis and brush with people who would do me harm.

Right now you need some comfort, and i wish we all could live closer and be there for you. I think our pain of loneliness will make us better at comforting when it is our turn, don't you? Have you made any new friends in your daily life?

Hugs,
Rebecca

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

I love your approach...hit delete and let the attack run its course without fueling it...LOVE IT!

So true about us now being good comforters. When I am stronger, I plan to use my energy to transport women to treatment who have no car, or something like that. Can't wait to help out in a tangible way.

I made a potential new friend at radiation...invited her to brunch soon. We seem to have more than breast cancer in common. Not that we need much else!

pinkkari09's picture
pinkkari09
Posts: 878
Joined: Sep 2009

My friends were plenty in the beginning as well. As time went on, they all disappeared. I always wanted a sister, my Mom told me just 3 years before she died of lung cancer in 07 that I have a sister (she was Catholic, 15, in 1960, and hidden by shame in a home for unwed mothers, long sad story). After searching for years, I found her, and I was so excited to finally meet her, but then the next part came, "were very sorry Kari but your sister is deceased" she was 42 and passed away from, guess, yep, the beast. I cried and cried and cried, then I realized how lonely this disease is, I cry every time I go alone to almost every appt now, when once upon a time, my friends/family filled the room, now the room is empty but I feel all of you with me and I thank God for all of you!!
Hang in there Attygirl and remember we're all here, Always!
Miles of Love,
Kari

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

I'm blown away by that story...and your generous spirit.
So sorry you lost your mom and didn't get to meet your sister. And I hate that you have to go to appointments alone. I'm heaing that a lot here. No one should have to do that, unless by choice. If you live in the NY/NJ/CT/PA area, let me know...
X0

hope4thebest's picture
hope4thebest
Posts: 108
Joined: Aug 2012

Wow, so many courageous women. I am happy to have found this board, it's Friday nite and you all are in my thoughts and prayers. In the past, I would be doing many different things, but now I have begun 'let go' of that past. It's not so easy to do that with people, but sometimes we are better off living our lives under our priorities alone. I have lost many of my friends and relatives to cancer in the past decade, but they all give me immense strength. Also some tears, but that is important for they always will be with us in spirit.
My heart goes out to you all,
Annie

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

So true...and so sweet.
Bless you!

Noel's picture
Noel
Posts: 3101
Joined: Apr 2009

I know we can't be with you physically Kari, but, we are always with you! I hope that is some consolation to you! We all love you Kari and always pray for you.

Hugs and love,

Noel

Kylez's picture
Kylez
Posts: 3765
Joined: May 2009

Love you Kari and Miles of Love to you!

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