Aug 06, 2012 - 9:00 pm
Today is my 59th birthday, it's hard to believe a year ago today I was having lunch with my daughter and granddaughter who at the time was 6 , and this angel of my heart askes "grammie your going to loose your hair right", and I said yes, she then gets a bit more serious and wants to know if people are going to stare at me because if they did that wouldn't be nice..I explained that there might be some who stare only because they wouldn't understand what was going on and then there would be people who would already know just by me not having hair. She asked if I was going to miss not having any hair and I said probably not, and if it bothered me on some days I could always wear a ball cap (I have plenty), she smiles and then says can you send me pictures of you with no hair, at that point , I thought my daughter's iced tea would come thru her nose , I'm a thinkin to my self.."self your pictures are going to first grade show and tell at Hartford Day School" What I learned about hair in the days, weeks and months to come was that my 19 year old niece shaved all of hers on the same day I did mine and kept it shaved until she returned to PA in Jan of this year, that my 68 year old neighbor, who had the most beautiful gray hair, shaved hers off to support my niece and I in this journey ,I learned that people didn't stare and those that saw me did understand...a year later on my 59th birthday I have hair, short, but you know I kinda like it, I like the bald look toooo. Now for my milestone, 2 days from now, Aug 8th it's the anniversary of the first all day chemo treatment. What I remember so clearly about that was being scared , who isn't of the unknown, my daughter and granddaughter going with me, watching the onco nurse access and flush the port , hook up the first bag which was hydration, my kiddos left at that point, then the tears came , the nurse bent down and hugged me (I will for ever love you San, you will always have a special place in my heart) said she will be there with me every step of the way and handed me a tissue for the tears. The tears stopped and the journey began...here I am a year later, going to dinner for my birthday with the same neice who changed her life to spend 5 months with me to go to every chemo and rad treatment , and her mom my youngest sister who took a 12 week un-paid leave of abscence to be with me thru treatments. While I didn't experience any of the many side effects, it was a comfort to have these 2 around. What a year..I guess my purpose in writing all of this is to let others know who are either in current treatment or just starting , that your life does go on, maybe not as it once was , change sometimes can be a struggle, but someday, some where there is that light at the end of the tunnel and before you know it , just like I found out a year goes by, even though it seems just like yesterday.
Love, Blessings, and Light