Going to Yosemite and Lake Tahoe for a bit of R&R next week, thought I'd leave some smiles for all of you in the meantime...
Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave
myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were
not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I
headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for
leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her
theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I
came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed
that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then
I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always
call her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and
it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped,
but then I heard her voice. "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not
stolen your car."
Yep . . . it's the golden years!
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington
was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls
were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was
fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to
the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day
the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She
called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance
man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem
for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just
imagine the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she
asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and
cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on