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Nick - One Year, One Month after Diagnosis - Gone....

TerryV's picture
TerryV
Posts: 915
Joined: Jul 2011

Nick has had recent dizziness, and facial weakness. A CT brain scan on 05/11 showed a tumor on the cerebellum. The MRI on the 18th showed 2 others and a host of "tumor dust" and Leptopmengial disease (cancer in the spinal fluid). In order to control the dizziness, lessen the seizures and give Nick a quality of life for the summer, the doctor has prescribed 15 WBRs. Please don't tell me how scary - I already know. He would have nothing without them though, so forward we move.....

My "poster boy" is now Stage IV and I believe has a very short time with us. This is SO Hard to believe as now under seizure meds, he is back to "normal" Nick.

ARGH!!! I'm stunned, incrediably saddened, and at a loss. I'm searching for the impossible and I know it. But it doesn't make it any more possible to stop searching for "hope". Dammit, dammit, dammit!

Love & Hugs to everyone. Sorry to bring this news.

Terry
wife to Nick, age 49
dx T3N1M0, 05/19/11
2 weeks inpatient Cisplatin/5FU, 26 Rads
THE 09/08/11
NED until 05/11/2012

cher76's picture
cher76
Posts: 302
Joined: Nov 2010

Oh Terry, I am so very sorry. I thought of you last night and thought I should get on the EC board to check on you but it was late and I fell asleep. I was going to text you this morning to check on you and then I got busy and forgot. Rita posted the news on our EC facebook group a little while ago, so I came to check. I just don't have words to express the sadness I feel. Know that I understand how difficult this is and if you feel the need to talk just call me any time day or night. I am serious about that. Don't feel like you would be bothering me. I know that feeling too well.
One more star is in the sky, one more guardian angel watching down over us.
My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Cheryl
wife of Rickie dx stage IV Oct. 2010
Mets to bones and brain
Deceased 1/4/12

bingbing2009
Posts: 179
Joined: Feb 2011

Terry,

You and your family have my deepest condolences. This ugly beast of a cancer claims yet another long before their time. It just breaks my heart to read this.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sending lots of love and hugs,
Melinda

DX October 2009: T3N1M0
November and December 2009: chemo (Cisplatin and 5 FU) and radiation
February 2010: Ivor Lewis surgery

birdiequeen's picture
birdiequeen
Posts: 329
Joined: Mar 2011

Terry,

You and your family are in my thoughts. Nick's passing is just incomprehensible. I'm without words.

Take Care,
Lee Ann

ABC321's picture
ABC321
Posts: 52
Joined: Oct 2011

Dear Terry, we have never met but i feel like i know you and Nick. I have certainly felt comforted by you both during this journey....i am so sad to hear that Nick has passed. You know Nick's spirit lives on in all of us. He was so generous and caring. I will never forget him.....
Take care of yourself and the family.
Lots of love from our side of the world!
xx
Steve

annalan
Posts: 149
Joined: Jul 2011

Terry I'm so, so sorry to hear about Nick. I send my condolence to you and your family. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Ann wife of Alan

Freida
Posts: 191
Joined: Nov 2011

Oh Terry, I am am so shocked and sad to read your news about Nick. I am just sitting here in tears and speechless. Damn this horrible rotten cancer. Although we have never met, your kindness has touched my heart and comforted me when I needed it, and I feel like a dear friend has lost their loved one. You and your children are in my thoughts. I wish you so much strength for the difficult days ahead. I just don't know what to say. So very sorry.
Love and hugs
Freida

Ginny_B's picture
Ginny_B
Posts: 537
Joined: Sep 2011

I can't even write through the tears. It just fills me with memories of losing my mom. Terry, you are so strong. You will continue to be strong as you fight this new grief battle. Just keep hold of the PEACE that they now feel. My mom, your Nick, Eric, Lee and all the others - peace.

They will ever be with us, girlfriend!

unclaw2002's picture
unclaw2002
Posts: 664
Joined: Jan 2010

Terry,

Words can offer little comfort at this moment. I am so sorry and saddened to hear that Nick has passed away. Just know many are praying for you and sending you and your family our love. I pray for comfort for you as you try to get through the next few days and weeks.

Love,
Cindy

JaneO's picture
JaneO
Posts: 42
Joined: Dec 2011

Terry, I am so sorry to hear Nick is gone and that it can go so quickly from being ok to terrible. We really do need to count each day as a blessing and make it count. I am praying for you and your family in the days and weeks ahead.

Jane& Jack (stage IV)

JReed's picture
JReed
Posts: 463
Joined: Nov 2011

Dearest Terry:

When Freida sent me a text, we were driving home from Charlotte, NC from taking care of family down there.

This news just kicked me in the guts. I share the thoughts and words the others have posted here. There are no words of the enormous amount of strength and courage and peace I am trying to send to you via the internet world. You are constantly on my mind.

Love and FEC forever,
Judy

tb7
Posts: 57
Joined: Sep 2009

Please accept our sincerest condolences. I am so saddened by your loss and bewildered by the effect and speed that EC has on some patients and not on others. You seemed to have it all together in terms of fighting and were doing all the right things, why, why, why this outcome so soon? Guess many who have posted are right, it is just a mystery that we do not have the answers to yet.

May you take comfort in having gone through EC with such courage and grace. Best wishes for the future and lots of hugs,

Trisha

mrsbotch
Posts: 377
Joined: Oct 2010

Terry

My heart breaks for you and your family. You have been thru so many ups and downs. This cancer shows no mercy as we all know.

You are in my thoughts.

Barbara

casp42
Posts: 79
Joined: Jul 2011

Terry,

I had to double-take this morning, I have followed yours and Nick journey. Your well written notes and expression. I'm devastated for you and your kids. Wishing you warm prayers, strength during this time.

hugs to you and your children,

Carolyn

Donna70's picture
Donna70
Posts: 920
Joined: Aug 2009

Dear Terry,
I am so sorry to see this post, was very saddened when you wrote in May of the recurrence and now Nick has gone. Such a terrible disease and such a short time of remission. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family, glad that even though he passed in the hospital he was comfortable and at peace. many, many hugs to you and yours,
Donna70

lilrusty's picture
lilrusty
Posts: 54
Joined: Sep 2011

Dear Terry, I was so sadden to read your post. As there pain ends, ours begins. May you and your family find comfort in the love you shared with Nick. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Chrissy

Donna70's picture
Donna70
Posts: 920
Joined: Aug 2009

sorry for the double post
Donna70

AngieD's picture
AngieD
Posts: 504
Joined: Sep 2011

Just no words, Terry. You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers every day since I learned of the recurrence. I'm glad Nick was at peace and I'm praying for strength for you for the next minute, hour, and days.
Hugs,
Angie

Cora11's picture
Cora11
Posts: 177
Joined: Sep 2011

Terri, I have been awol but you all are in my thoughts. I was spending more time on the FB board. I have always remembered how you jumped right in and guided me through the first terrible weeks of EC and the process. Your cheerleading and kindness shined through the screen and I could tell we were kindred spirits and Nick just seems the definition of "cool" . I came to the site tonight when I heard the news a few days ago that he wasn't doing well. This I wasn't expecting, yet what do we learn here- expect everything unexpected. My heart goes out to you and yours and this long ride and I feel peace for Nick. All my love and light and peace,
Jude

jgwright's picture
jgwright
Posts: 252
Joined: Oct 2011

How quickly we can go from "doing okay", to "goodbye", aka "God be with ye". I've appreciated your caring and concern, and I join in sharing your sadness. Still having family and no long-lasting suffering is a good thing. As much as anything of this rotten disease can be said to be "good".

You take care, and our love and prayers are with you.

--Jerry

rose20's picture
rose20
Posts: 282
Joined: Jan 2011

There are just no words for something like this. I am so very sorry.
You have always been so supportive on here. I will be praying for you and your family.

Altra's picture
Altra
Posts: 27
Joined: Apr 2011

So incredibly sorry to hear about this, Terry. Saw that he had passed two days ago and the tears started flowing, as it is all too fresh in my own memory, going through this. Thinking of you and your kids a lot today and sending you all virtual hugs.

sandy1943's picture
sandy1943
Posts: 883
Joined: Jun 2010

Terry, So saddened that the beast has claimed another of our family! Praying for comfort for you and the family.
Sandra

dodger21's picture
dodger21
Posts: 83
Joined: May 2011

Terry,
May you and your beautiful kids cherish all those wonderful memories of their brave dad Nick.
Thank you for being such an inspiration on this board.
May God have his comforting hand on you in the days and weeks to come.
Danielle

Mazj's picture
Mazj
Posts: 42
Joined: Oct 2011

I am so shocked and very saddened by the news of Nick's passing. You have been so caring and supportive of so many if us as we journeyed with this dreadful disease. Please join us on the FB site as the support there is awesome. Thinking of you and your kids right now.

T-Bird
Posts: 25
Joined: Aug 2011

Dearest Terry;
I rarely post on this board, but have followed your journey for quite some time. I just wanted to let you know that I was deeply saddened to hear of Nick's passing and you and your children are in my thoughts.

Teresa

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