Dec 27, 2011 - 11:01 am
I am soooo tired of thinking about cancer. And I can NOT seem to stop! It is always at the back of every thought I have. Every ache, every pain, every upset stomach, cancer. Want to go somewhere? Check in with the cancer to see if I can make it without an accident or having fatigue hit me so that I have to quit and either sit in the car or go home. Try not to let every conversation eventually end up about cancer because that has GOT to be boring to most, but cancer is right there on the tip of my tongue. Mostly I just keep everything to myself except here on the board. It is so good to be able to talk to people going through the same or similar things.
My Mother also has cancer and being sick is ALL she wants to talk about! I was her caregiver for years before my dx and tx and I have a hard time listening to her any more, so I don't spend nearly the time I used to with her. I always leave SO depressed. Thankfully my brother took over as her caregiver when I was dx. He is doing a good job, as Mom can't manipulate him like she does me! (Mom has kidney cancer, has for years, chose no tx. Cancer has grown little over the last 3 years.)
I have my first checkup starting the Jan 25. Maybe when I get my results and they are good I will be able to clear my mind.
Feel bad whining when some are going through so much worse with less support..........upbeat from here on out......