Should I call onc?

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JackieA
JackieA Member Posts: 150
in Breast Cancer #1
I think I know the answer but many of you have been through this. My husband has stage iv breast with mets to all bones. I am sure some of you know our history. My husband has not eaten in about 4 days. He will drink water or sometimes a little boost. He has not had a bm since he left the hospital Nov. 23. We last saw dr on Nov. 29. Dr. gave him a break from chemo until Jan 4.This is a repeated cycle of not eating. I told my husband he needed to get some nutrients. I am scared because we keep going over this...I feel that my husband is dying. I may be afraid because I went through this with my mother last year around this time. My husband does not want to go anywhere and his pain is increasing tremendously with hardly any relief. He has been in bed a lot. I am scared right now.
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  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #2
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    I have no answers for you. I
    I have no answers for you. I would do what you and him feel is best. I would take care of his pain. If it were me, I would not want to be in any pain so if that would mean a call to the doctor then that is what I would want my husband to do for me. My prayers are with you both.
  • BetsyJane
    BetsyJane Member Posts: 127
    #3
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    If it were my husband
    None of us can tell you what you should do. I know your husband must be scared to death as are you seeing him go thru all of this. All I can say is if it were my husband, I would definitely call the doctor to make him aware of what is going on. Perhaps his doctor can prescribe something to minimize his pain. Also, if he hasn't had a bm in that long of a time, perhaps that is part of his problem. I remember only too well when I didn't have a bm in four days, I was in excruciating pain. I wish I could be of more help but only you can make the judgement call on what to do.

    I will keep both of you in my prayers.

    Betsy
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    #4
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    Jackie -- I'm very sorry
    Jackie -- I'm very sorry you're going through this, especially during this time of year. I wish I can take the pain away from all of my pink sisters and brothers.

    This is a difficult situation, but you can't handle this alone. If I was in your shoes, I would call the Onco to get a pain killer -- strong ones! I wouldn't want to be in pain either. The pain is probably making him anxious, causing his hunger to go away. I think it's important he stays as comfortable as possible. Your job is hard - I know. Please get help through Dr. at least so he can feel better.What meds is he taking right now?

    Praying your husband feels better.
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #5
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    LoveBabyJesus said:

    Jackie -- I'm very sorry
    Jackie -- I'm very sorry you're going through this, especially during this time of year. I wish I can take the pain away from all of my pink sisters and brothers.

    This is a difficult situation, but you can't handle this alone. If I was in your shoes, I would call the Onco to get a pain killer -- strong ones! I wouldn't want to be in pain either. The pain is probably making him anxious, causing his hunger to go away. I think it's important he stays as comfortable as possible. Your job is hard - I know. Please get help through Dr. at least so he can feel better.What meds is he taking right now?

    Praying your husband feels better.

    Jackie I am very sorry
    jackie please reach out for help with bowel movements. I cannot imagine it has been almost 1 month. I hope his doctor is still town and will help to make him comfortable without pain.
    Sending positive thoughts
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #6
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    Kat11 said:

    I have no answers for you. I
    I have no answers for you. I would do what you and him feel is best. I would take care of his pain. If it were me, I would not want to be in any pain so if that would mean a call to the doctor then that is what I would want my husband to do for me. My prayers are with you both.

    I am like Kat11, I don't
    I am like Kat11, I don't have the answers and I wish I did Jackie. If he won't eat, could they put a feeding tube in him? We have a friend that has cancer and he can't eat, so, the doctor gave him a feeding tube and he takes liquids thru an IV. I don't know if this is a possibility for your husband or not.

    I am keeping you and your husband in my prayers.


    Hugs, Noel
  • mollyz
    mollyz Member Posts: 756 Member
    #7
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    New Flower said:

    Jackie I am very sorry
    jackie please reach out for help with bowel movements. I cannot imagine it has been almost 1 month. I hope his doctor is still town and will help to make him comfortable without pain.
    Sending positive thoughts

    CALL THE DR.
    ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MollyZ~~
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #8
    Options
    mollyz said:

    CALL THE DR.
    ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MollyZ~~

    Yes!
    Call his doctor NOW!!!!!!! His pain is most likely caused by impacted bowels..anyone who hasn't had a bowel movement in a month would be in pain....this is dangerous....Call his doctor whether he wants you to or not!
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #9
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    Call his Dr ASAP! His Dr
    Call his Dr ASAP!

    His Dr needs to be advised of his deterioting condition. Yes no BM for that long and no eating for that long is deterioting condition. The are meds that can at least minimize the pain. As much as you want to give him the care he needs, it may be time to have a visiting nurse come every few days (or daily) to get him eating and medically assess his condition often. It is amazing how a 'stranger' can get someone to eat/drink/etc. when they won't for loved ones. He might need a while in a full time facility with the expertise and equiptment to help him for a while.

    I don't know the answer for him or you but a call to his Dr is definately in order.

    Prayers and God Bless you both.

    Susan
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #10
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    mollyz said:

    CALL THE DR.
    ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MollyZ~~

    Jackie, I agree with
    Jackie, I agree with everyone, please call his doctor.


    Hugs, Leeza
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #11
    Options
    I would call his doctor also
    You can't force him to eat, but there are things that can be done for the bowel movements. Once he is cleaned out and feeling good he may want to eat on his own. I know that from the pain meds I am on, this has become a problem for me also, so I have a whole arsenal, but I was told if it is longer than 5-6 days, I have to see a doctor because if you get impacted, it can burst your intestine or bowels (cant remember which they said).

    You need to call now, don't wait any longer. He may be mad now, but he will thank you when he is feeling better.

    Carol
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #12
    Options
    Rague said:

    Call his Dr ASAP! His Dr
    Call his Dr ASAP!

    His Dr needs to be advised of his deterioting condition. Yes no BM for that long and no eating for that long is deterioting condition. The are meds that can at least minimize the pain. As much as you want to give him the care he needs, it may be time to have a visiting nurse come every few days (or daily) to get him eating and medically assess his condition often. It is amazing how a 'stranger' can get someone to eat/drink/etc. when they won't for loved ones. He might need a while in a full time facility with the expertise and equiptment to help him for a while.

    I don't know the answer for him or you but a call to his Dr is definately in order.

    Prayers and God Bless you both.

    Susan

    Yes! Call your husbands
    Yes! Call your husbands doctor and let us know what you find out.

    Hugs, Jan
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #13
    Options
    camul said:

    I would call his doctor also
    You can't force him to eat, but there are things that can be done for the bowel movements. Once he is cleaned out and feeling good he may want to eat on his own. I know that from the pain meds I am on, this has become a problem for me also, so I have a whole arsenal, but I was told if it is longer than 5-6 days, I have to see a doctor because if you get impacted, it can burst your intestine or bowels (cant remember which they said).

    You need to call now, don't wait any longer. He may be mad now, but he will thank you when he is feeling better.

    Carol

    Jackie ...
    We are praying and hoping for the best. Please let us know what is going on, when you have a free minute.

    Strength, Courage and Hope.

    Vicki Sam
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #14
    Options
    VickiSam said:

    Jackie ...
    We are praying and hoping for the best. Please let us know what is going on, when you have a free minute.

    Strength, Courage and Hope.

    Vicki Sam

    What's the status?
    I hope you called the oncologist and your husband is getting some relief.

    Suzanne
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #15
    Options
    camul said:

    I would call his doctor also
    You can't force him to eat, but there are things that can be done for the bowel movements. Once he is cleaned out and feeling good he may want to eat on his own. I know that from the pain meds I am on, this has become a problem for me also, so I have a whole arsenal, but I was told if it is longer than 5-6 days, I have to see a doctor because if you get impacted, it can burst your intestine or bowels (cant remember which they said).

    You need to call now, don't wait any longer. He may be mad now, but he will thank you when he is feeling better.

    Carol

    I hope that you were able to
    I hope that you were able to reach his doctor and that you got some much needed help. Offering hugs and prayers to you and your husband.


    Hugs, Lex
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #16
    Options
    LoveBabyJesus said:

    Jackie -- I'm very sorry
    Jackie -- I'm very sorry you're going through this, especially during this time of year. I wish I can take the pain away from all of my pink sisters and brothers.

    This is a difficult situation, but you can't handle this alone. If I was in your shoes, I would call the Onco to get a pain killer -- strong ones! I wouldn't want to be in pain either. The pain is probably making him anxious, causing his hunger to go away. I think it's important he stays as comfortable as possible. Your job is hard - I know. Please get help through Dr. at least so he can feel better.What meds is he taking right now?

    Praying your husband feels better.

    I know you must be scared.
    I know you must be scared. I am scared for you and your husband. I hope that you will contact his doctor and that your husband will get some relief with his pain and hopefully helped with eating.


    My prayers to you and your husband,


    Kylez
  • JackieA
    JackieA Member Posts: 150
    #17
    Options
    Alexis F said:

    I hope that you were able to
    I hope that you were able to reach his doctor and that you got some much needed help. Offering hugs and prayers to you and your husband.


    Hugs, Lex

    thanks and yes
    I knew better
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #18
    Options
    LoveBabyJesus said:

    Jackie -- I'm very sorry
    Jackie -- I'm very sorry you're going through this, especially during this time of year. I wish I can take the pain away from all of my pink sisters and brothers.

    This is a difficult situation, but you can't handle this alone. If I was in your shoes, I would call the Onco to get a pain killer -- strong ones! I wouldn't want to be in pain either. The pain is probably making him anxious, causing his hunger to go away. I think it's important he stays as comfortable as possible. Your job is hard - I know. Please get help through Dr. at least so he can feel better.What meds is he taking right now?

    Praying your husband feels better.

    Keeping you and Kip in my
    Keeping you and Kip in my prayers.
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #19
    Options
    JackieA said:

    thanks and yes
    I knew better

    Did you get hold of his
    Did you get hold of his doctor?
  • JackieA
    JackieA Member Posts: 150
    #20
    Options
    DianeBC said:

    Did you get hold of his
    Did you get hold of his doctor?

    update
    Got a hold of dr. Took 2 bottles of citrate magnesium. Took a whole day---He is so weak. Sarted taking megace to get appetite through Christmas and did get it back. Has gotten up to eating a meal a day. Which is good, but is extremely weak and stays in our bedroom all day. Has not been out since Christmas. thanks for concern.
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #21
    Options
    JackieA said:

    update
    Got a hold of dr. Took 2 bottles of citrate magnesium. Took a whole day---He is so weak. Sarted taking megace to get appetite through Christmas and did get it back. Has gotten up to eating a meal a day. Which is good, but is extremely weak and stays in our bedroom all day. Has not been out since Christmas. thanks for concern.

    This is good news Jackie
    This is good news Jackie that your husband is at least eating one meal a day, not great, but better! I am glad he could eat at Christmas.


    I am keeping him in my prayers,


    Leeza

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