My update - good news

Good news! I am in remission again after a clear lung CT in Salt Lake City at the end of last week. How delightful to read "much improved" and "unchanged" in the radiologist's report! I danced in the oncologist's office.

Also my cough and wheezing, which started in April, and was likely pneumonitis from the stereotactic radiation to the lungs this past January, is finally gone as of September.

Ah, the long released breath……and breathing in again…..and then out….the reassuring rhythm of breathing.

The watchful waiting continues, hopefully for a long, long time.

My oncologists are pleased too, at how healthy and strong I am right now, though being oncologists, and wanting to do their job completely, they remind me of "progressive disease" and "likely chemo will be needed in the future" but that "I am doing well without it now". My next CT (chest, abdomen and pelvis) is scheduled for early January.

I breathe in the fall air, taking in the reds of the oaks and yellows of the aspens in Parley's Canyon on the ride home. I breathe in the sweaty, horsey smell while riding my Morgan, on an unseasonably warm Sunday afternoon after getting back home to Wyoming.

I continue to focus on five areas to stay as healthy as I can:
1) functional (how supportive is my home and/or work front? are my basic needs taken care of? am I keeping my life simple and light?),
2) physical (how fit am I? how is my diet? how does my body move?),
3) psychological (how is my mental frame of mind? do I keep curiosity right in the forefront? do I check frequently to see if I'm believing my thoughts rather than seeing what is? )
4) emotional (how am I able to maintain a confident, resilient outlook? how do I ride the ups and downs of good news/bad news? what habits do I need to cultivate? to change?)
5) spiritual (ultimately the question is about life and death, and we all face it if we inhabit a body on the planet. who am I? where did I come from? where do I go? )

In addition to the above, I will continue with my weekly IV infusions (one of IV mistletoe, and two of IV Vitamin C). I also will travel to Ann Arbor, MI in November for a 2 week retreat to visit with my doctor there who oversees the IV Vitamin C and mistletoe (Iscador). He has trained in oncology in Germany and at the Lukas Klinik in Arlesheim, Switzerland.

My oncology nurse and I have reached the point in our relationship where we are exchanging home-made canned goods (apple butter from her and jalapeños en escabeche from my husband). She and my husband love to talk about how good the jalapeños are with steak sandwiches. I haven't figured out how to juice them :-)

Mostly I feel grateful– for all the support, love and care, from my extended medical team and coaches, my family and friends, near and far,, my four-leggeds, my cancer survivor buds, and for all the natural beauty all around me, and in all the places I've been fortunate enough to visit on this planet. I feel grateful for my resilient body.

I really, really wish there were a cure for cancer. I grieve for everyone that I know that has been lost to this disease, for their families who deal with the loss of loved ones.

I grieve for all the suffering we all go through no matter the cause of the loss or suffering.

The Buddha said, "Compassion reconciles us to our own destiny by showing us the life of others, often much harder than ours."

I struggled writing this update and then found an article "Living With Chronic Illness Builds Courage" which I'll post separately.

all the best, Leslie