Question about fighting Time and cancer

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LoveBabyJesus
LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
Hi sisters -- I want to start by saying I don't mean to sound offensive to anyone, but I wish I could understand this.

I often get confused about something that makes my days blue. I am sure you hear or read about people saying "she/he fought for 3 year", or whatever the time may be since their diagnosis. What exactly does this mean to you? For example, if there is cancer present in the body for 3 years, and the person passes, then I understand the statement. But sometimes I read or hear people say, "she/he fought for 10 years". Really? Does this mean the person had it for 10 years or had recurrences? It just hurts when they say that. Do you know what I mean? Maybe I am over-thinking this.

And yes, I feel blue today. Could this be from radiation? :(
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  • mruczko
    mruczko Member Posts: 110
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    Question about fighting
    I feel particularly blue and cry a lot when I am surrounded by people with cancer, i.e. the oncologist's office, and, thank God in the past, at radiology. Me - I thoroughly disliked the word "survivor" and, sometimes at 2 am mulled over finding a better word but couldn't come up with anything. Now I astound myself by saying "I am a breast cancer survivor". Another phrase I still dislike is "battled cancer", what...in the ring with boxing gloves? Others may find nothing wrong with this. I am an old lady, got the feeling though if I'd be younger maybe I'd just take off into the wild blue yonder all by myself, California maybe?
    Marlene
  • skipper54
    skipper54 Member Posts: 936 Member
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    mruczko said:

    Question about fighting
    I feel particularly blue and cry a lot when I am surrounded by people with cancer, i.e. the oncologist's office, and, thank God in the past, at radiology. Me - I thoroughly disliked the word "survivor" and, sometimes at 2 am mulled over finding a better word but couldn't come up with anything. Now I astound myself by saying "I am a breast cancer survivor". Another phrase I still dislike is "battled cancer", what...in the ring with boxing gloves? Others may find nothing wrong with this. I am an old lady, got the feeling though if I'd be younger maybe I'd just take off into the wild blue yonder all by myself, California maybe?
    Marlene

    I think that many people look at that once you have it you
    always have it - hence the fight or battle. Look at those on here who have recently talked about mets or having it come back with mets. Does that mean it came back again or was it just sleeping somewhere and now reared its ugly head again. Guess we don't know for sure but I know the family of my husband's aunt said Sandy battled for 18 years. It wasn't always the cancer but side effects of the surgery and meds. Guess that counts too. For some it just seems to go on and on while for others it's over once surgery etc. is over. This isn't really an answer, just some thoughts.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
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    skipper54 said:

    I think that many people look at that once you have it you
    always have it - hence the fight or battle. Look at those on here who have recently talked about mets or having it come back with mets. Does that mean it came back again or was it just sleeping somewhere and now reared its ugly head again. Guess we don't know for sure but I know the family of my husband's aunt said Sandy battled for 18 years. It wasn't always the cancer but side effects of the surgery and meds. Guess that counts too. For some it just seems to go on and on while for others it's over once surgery etc. is over. This isn't really an answer, just some thoughts.

    Skipper I think you
    Skipper I think you explained it pretty well. I think fighting cancer is when you are in active treatement, or dealing with after effects from treatement. If someone has batled it for 10 years I guess it means that within that 10 year time period you treated recurrences. Some people get treatment and never have to deal with it again, that is a survivor. A survivor is also all of us whether we are currently in treatment or completed treatement because we are here to talk about it. :)
  • Mitzi333
    Mitzi333 Member Posts: 511 Member
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    mruczko said:

    Question about fighting
    I feel particularly blue and cry a lot when I am surrounded by people with cancer, i.e. the oncologist's office, and, thank God in the past, at radiology. Me - I thoroughly disliked the word "survivor" and, sometimes at 2 am mulled over finding a better word but couldn't come up with anything. Now I astound myself by saying "I am a breast cancer survivor". Another phrase I still dislike is "battled cancer", what...in the ring with boxing gloves? Others may find nothing wrong with this. I am an old lady, got the feeling though if I'd be younger maybe I'd just take off into the wild blue yonder all by myself, California maybe?
    Marlene

    GREAT Question....
    I've often wondered the same thing... when they say he/she fought for x # of years and loss the battle. Does that mean they fought the entire time or were they in and out of survivorship?

    It appears once you have the beast, you Always have the beast for however long you live... and if you die for reasons related to the beast the time is all lumped togehter, whether you've been in remission or not.

    My thought is once diagnoised with the beast, we're always in a fight to get rid of the beast and keep it away by use of meds, screenings, follow up appointments and changing/maintaining healthier life styles.

    Others may see it differently... that the fight is during treatment and surgery and the like...

    I'd definately like to hear other thoughts on this question. Not sure there is a right or wrong answer.

    Since going through this journey, I have a better understanding of what it takes to fight the beast... it's definatley more than a phrase used in an obituary. I think what's More important is knowing how a person lived and Not how they died.

    Thanks for posing the question... I'm sure some of the other pink sisters have thoughts on this question.

    Hugs~
    Mitzi ;0)
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
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    Good responses, thank you.
    Good responses, thank you.

    Here's my other question. A cold/flu doesn't have a cure. We often get it, but it comes back - among other types of conditions that may not necessarily take your life. As you treat your cold, you recover. But you never hear people say "I have the flu" or " I have the cold", for life. I know, this may be a cheesy comparison, but hey ... this too has no cure. Sometimes I get colds with fever, sometimes with vomit, sometimes with stomach problems (the metastasis of the flue/cold), but it doesn't kill. (Although in some third-world countries, anything is possible).

    Here's my other question - and this proves to me how powerful the mind can be. We go to OBGYN for checkups every year - to test for what? cervical cancer, mainly. This is the most common form of testing and many women do this for many years, yet, it's never on their minds. But it is possible that one day, they might find something (c, std, etc...). I guess my annoyance is related to this "c" word is that it has gained such power. It has become a separate category in our minds (in our minds, I repeat).

    I've been thinking about this a lot and often wonder if most of the "battle" is mental. Yes, we are all aware that it is a beast but personally I think the real battle starts in our hearts and our heads.

    An Onco once told me "hey, chemo is just a different type of antibiotics". I can see where he was coming from.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
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    Good responses, thank you.
    Good responses, thank you.

    Here's my other question. A cold/flu doesn't have a cure. We often get it, but it comes back - among other types of conditions that may not necessarily take your life. As you treat your cold, you recover. But you never hear people say "I have the flu" or " I have the cold", for life. I know, this may be a cheesy comparison, but hey ... this too has no cure. Sometimes I get colds with fever, sometimes with vomit, sometimes with stomach problems (the metastasis of the flue/cold), but it doesn't kill. (Although in some third-world countries, anything is possible).

    Here's my other question - and this proves to me how powerful the mind can be. We go to OBGYN for checkups every year - to test for what? cervical cancer, mainly. This is the most common form of testing and many women do this for many years, yet, it's never on their minds. But it is possible that one day, they might find something (c, std, etc...). I guess my annoyance is related to this "c" word is that it has gained such power. It has become a separate category in our minds (in our minds, I repeat).

    I've been thinking about this a lot and often wonder if most of the "battle" is mental. Yes, we are all aware that it is a beast but personally I think the real battle starts in our hearts and our heads.

    An Onco once told me "hey, chemo is just a different type of antibiotics". I can see where he was coming from.

    Our heart and head which
    Our heart and head which encompasses our emotions are definitely battle grounds, that is why attitude and humor were so important for me along with positive feed back from the girls on these boards. I didnt want to hear from others who had never been thru this because in an effort to help me they brought me down by telling of other peoples horror stories and yes energy others had during chemo. Well this little old lady ad no energy and I'm still working on it. I didnt want to hear oh you'll be just fine. How did they know if I would be fine.

    Now to the physical side, you bet your buttons this is a physical battle and some are tougher than others. We are all so different and respond diffently to treatment. Some say taxol is a breeze compared to A/C and some have the exact opposite experience.

    My faith along with the other things mentioned have brought me thru, but again I repeat this definitely a physical battle.
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
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    natly15 said:

    Our heart and head which
    Our heart and head which encompasses our emotions are definitely battle grounds, that is why attitude and humor were so important for me along with positive feed back from the girls on these boards. I didnt want to hear from others who had never been thru this because in an effort to help me they brought me down by telling of other peoples horror stories and yes energy others had during chemo. Well this little old lady ad no energy and I'm still working on it. I didnt want to hear oh you'll be just fine. How did they know if I would be fine.

    Now to the physical side, you bet your buttons this is a physical battle and some are tougher than others. We are all so different and respond diffently to treatment. Some say taxol is a breeze compared to A/C and some have the exact opposite experience.

    My faith along with the other things mentioned have brought me thru, but again I repeat this definitely a physical battle.

    Yes, it can be very physical
    Yes, it can be very physical as well, especially when it leaves permanent side effects or during treatments. I was mostly referring to the period when you are no longer fighting (no side effects, no treatments). Some people are lucky not to have permanent side effects, while others only experience them during treatments.

    I was stating that for someone to say "been fighting for 10 years", I'd rethink that because of what I just mentioned on my previous post - unless they've had physical side effects for 10 years. Or unless they include they mental battle as well.

    Seems so complicated! But good to think about it to put things into perspective. I feel it helps me. And it especially helps me to be here with all of you.
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
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    Yes, it can be very physical
    Yes, it can be very physical as well, especially when it leaves permanent side effects or during treatments. I was mostly referring to the period when you are no longer fighting (no side effects, no treatments). Some people are lucky not to have permanent side effects, while others only experience them during treatments.

    I was stating that for someone to say "been fighting for 10 years", I'd rethink that because of what I just mentioned on my previous post - unless they've had physical side effects for 10 years. Or unless they include they mental battle as well.

    Seems so complicated! But good to think about it to put things into perspective. I feel it helps me. And it especially helps me to be here with all of you.

    I liked what you said about giving the "c" word so much power
    None of us here really know our fate, but I asked my husband to promise me to not write "she lost her battle with breast cancer" if that ever becomes my reality. I just hate reading that--makes the person sound like a loser when we all know what strong, capable warriors we all are. Just my thinking. Everyone on here has buzz words or phrases about the "c" word that they hate. That's just one of mine.

    Anyone here share my opinion on that?

    Hugs, Renee
  • grams2jc
    grams2jc Member Posts: 756
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    I understand your questions
    And I have a "thing" about calling myself a survivor. Guess I don't really feel like I've earned that yet even though I've done surgery, chemo and rads and have no trtmt scheduled but my Tamoxifen.

    And, PLEASE, don't take this wrong but when I think about "no evidence of disease"
    I always kind of laugh, cause my scarred chest and mind sure do show evidence. I realize it means no evidence of active or new disease process and am ALWAYS THRILLED when my pink sisters get that news....it's just my scared brain over-thinking.

    Cancer is such a mental roller coaster, I took Xanax every day of radiation, I hated it that much. Nothing rational about it, it was physically easy but mentally TOUGH.

    I think we are entitled to feel blue some days, and maybe even a little bit of each day so hang in there, we are all with you,

    Jennifer
  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
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    My perspective
    On July 3 of this year I celebrated my 25th cancerversary. (First dx at age 38, I am now 63.)
    I lost one breast in 1986, the other in 1988, and was dx with bone cancer in 1996. (I chose not to have recon.)
    I was in cancer treatment or post-treatment (preventative meds) for 15 years straight. I finally stopped all meds (against my dr's wishes) and decided to live the rest of my life, whether it was a day or a century, as much as possible as if I had never had cancer.
    And yet, I still fight cancer EVERY DAY.
    I have permanent 'side effects' which have changed my life and my perspective on life forever. This is what we usually refer to as our 'new normal'.
    Probably my biggest daily battle at this time in my life is the one I fight every time I look in the mirror and lament the fact that I am not now a 'whole' woman for the man in my life. (He accepts me and loves me as I am, it is my angst, not his.) But please do not feel sorry for me. Because, you see, every day I am a WINNER in this battle because every day I keep my commitment to myself to live as much as possible as though I never had cancer.
    Some people fight the battle of having lost a child to death every day. For others it is the after-effects of divorce (BTDT too). For others it may be something else. We all fight every day. And we all win every day.
    When we die I so hope no one will say, "Oh, dear, she lost her battle." Rather I hope everyone will say, "She WON! She is now above whatever life can do to her!"
  • Mitzi333
    Mitzi333 Member Posts: 511 Member
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    zahalene said:

    My perspective
    On July 3 of this year I celebrated my 25th cancerversary. (First dx at age 38, I am now 63.)
    I lost one breast in 1986, the other in 1988, and was dx with bone cancer in 1996. (I chose not to have recon.)
    I was in cancer treatment or post-treatment (preventative meds) for 15 years straight. I finally stopped all meds (against my dr's wishes) and decided to live the rest of my life, whether it was a day or a century, as much as possible as if I had never had cancer.
    And yet, I still fight cancer EVERY DAY.
    I have permanent 'side effects' which have changed my life and my perspective on life forever. This is what we usually refer to as our 'new normal'.
    Probably my biggest daily battle at this time in my life is the one I fight every time I look in the mirror and lament the fact that I am not now a 'whole' woman for the man in my life. (He accepts me and loves me as I am, it is my angst, not his.) But please do not feel sorry for me. Because, you see, every day I am a WINNER in this battle because every day I keep my commitment to myself to live as much as possible as though I never had cancer.
    Some people fight the battle of having lost a child to death every day. For others it is the after-effects of divorce (BTDT too). For others it may be something else. We all fight every day. And we all win every day.
    When we die I so hope no one will say, "Oh, dear, she lost her battle." Rather I hope everyone will say, "She WON! She is now above whatever life can do to her!"

    Zahalene... Love your perspective!!!
    Thanks for sharing Your story. This experience is definately a daily fight.

    Love your spirit of Living as though you never had cancer!!!

    Happy 25th Cancerversary!!!

    Hugs~
    Mitzi ;0)
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
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    zahalene said:

    My perspective
    On July 3 of this year I celebrated my 25th cancerversary. (First dx at age 38, I am now 63.)
    I lost one breast in 1986, the other in 1988, and was dx with bone cancer in 1996. (I chose not to have recon.)
    I was in cancer treatment or post-treatment (preventative meds) for 15 years straight. I finally stopped all meds (against my dr's wishes) and decided to live the rest of my life, whether it was a day or a century, as much as possible as if I had never had cancer.
    And yet, I still fight cancer EVERY DAY.
    I have permanent 'side effects' which have changed my life and my perspective on life forever. This is what we usually refer to as our 'new normal'.
    Probably my biggest daily battle at this time in my life is the one I fight every time I look in the mirror and lament the fact that I am not now a 'whole' woman for the man in my life. (He accepts me and loves me as I am, it is my angst, not his.) But please do not feel sorry for me. Because, you see, every day I am a WINNER in this battle because every day I keep my commitment to myself to live as much as possible as though I never had cancer.
    Some people fight the battle of having lost a child to death every day. For others it is the after-effects of divorce (BTDT too). For others it may be something else. We all fight every day. And we all win every day.
    When we die I so hope no one will say, "Oh, dear, she lost her battle." Rather I hope everyone will say, "She WON! She is now above whatever life can do to her!"

    As always, dear zah...
    Thank you for your words of wisdom.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
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    zahalene said:

    My perspective
    On July 3 of this year I celebrated my 25th cancerversary. (First dx at age 38, I am now 63.)
    I lost one breast in 1986, the other in 1988, and was dx with bone cancer in 1996. (I chose not to have recon.)
    I was in cancer treatment or post-treatment (preventative meds) for 15 years straight. I finally stopped all meds (against my dr's wishes) and decided to live the rest of my life, whether it was a day or a century, as much as possible as if I had never had cancer.
    And yet, I still fight cancer EVERY DAY.
    I have permanent 'side effects' which have changed my life and my perspective on life forever. This is what we usually refer to as our 'new normal'.
    Probably my biggest daily battle at this time in my life is the one I fight every time I look in the mirror and lament the fact that I am not now a 'whole' woman for the man in my life. (He accepts me and loves me as I am, it is my angst, not his.) But please do not feel sorry for me. Because, you see, every day I am a WINNER in this battle because every day I keep my commitment to myself to live as much as possible as though I never had cancer.
    Some people fight the battle of having lost a child to death every day. For others it is the after-effects of divorce (BTDT too). For others it may be something else. We all fight every day. And we all win every day.
    When we die I so hope no one will say, "Oh, dear, she lost her battle." Rather I hope everyone will say, "She WON! She is now above whatever life can do to her!"

    Thank you for sharing your
    Thank you for sharing your story, Zahalene. I remember you from your 25th cancerversary post and thought you were very inspiring.

    I never feel sorry for people like you, or who are like any of us for that matter. You've earned my respects. We are all fighting at some level, under different categories but we are living. This is not easy for anyone, yet we develop the strength to keep going. It takes courage.

    Congratulations again. I wish you have many more years to celebrate.

    God bless you.
  • dbhadra
    dbhadra Member Posts: 344 Member
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    Thank you for sharing your
    Thank you for sharing your story, Zahalene. I remember you from your 25th cancerversary post and thought you were very inspiring.

    I never feel sorry for people like you, or who are like any of us for that matter. You've earned my respects. We are all fighting at some level, under different categories but we are living. This is not easy for anyone, yet we develop the strength to keep going. It takes courage.

    Congratulations again. I wish you have many more years to celebrate.

    God bless you.

    battling cancer
    Very thought provoking question - I also don;t like to read "so and so passed away after a long battle with cancer" because that implies that they "lost the battle" by dying and I don;t think that's the case. To me, there is so much more going on in surviving and even thriving (I've seen the word "thriver" suggested instead of survivor and like it.)

    My struggle right now is to try and find some emotional and mental peace of mind regardless of my current physical state. To me, that would mean that I am winning the "battle" whether or not I have physical symptoms. Does that make any sense?

    Laura
  • skipper54
    skipper54 Member Posts: 936 Member
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    dbhadra said:

    battling cancer
    Very thought provoking question - I also don;t like to read "so and so passed away after a long battle with cancer" because that implies that they "lost the battle" by dying and I don;t think that's the case. To me, there is so much more going on in surviving and even thriving (I've seen the word "thriver" suggested instead of survivor and like it.)

    My struggle right now is to try and find some emotional and mental peace of mind regardless of my current physical state. To me, that would mean that I am winning the "battle" whether or not I have physical symptoms. Does that make any sense?

    Laura

    Guess in some ways it comes down to the wonderful quote
    I may have cancer but it doesn't have me! We are in a daily fight. It's an active battle for a while then more like recon or strategic planning, sort of like homeland security. I'll have to give this a lot of thought 'cause I'm not a loser either so don't really want that in my obituary, whenever that may be.
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
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    I will not have that I lost
    I will not have that I lost my battle with cancer in my obit. I didn't lose a battle, my time was up! I am not putting up a valiant fight, I was dealt a hand that I wouldn't have chosen and I am doing my best to live each day to the fullest (most days, some lately just out and out suck).

    I really don't choose to be called a survivor as I have battled cancer and the side effects for almost 10 years, even if I was technically "cancer free" for 8 of them. But that is a term that people understand like being cancer free.

    But was I cancer free? I was battling bone and joint issues, tumors in my thyroid and bladder, lump in my appendix, and an immune problem that was a result of the initial chemo. And when the beast showed its ugly face again, it was in the bones and joints that were affected by the first chemo. So I personally believe the the beast was doing his thing, because one tumor didn't show up 10 months after the last bone and pet scan, but too many to count in all the affected bones!

    I am ok with others calling themselves survivors, I just never felt it was applicable to me. I am just happy that I have had these last 10 years, and that my onco said when I was initally diagnosed that because we knew that HRT was most likely the culprit that he didn't think that that my battle was over, which prompted me to set more goals, and set new ones when those were reached, and spending time and making memories with my family and friends became even more important to me. Now if my show is canceled, they really know me and have plenty of fun memories to use as reruns!
  • tufi000
    tufi000 Member Posts: 745 Member
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    words
    We have all had various experiences that truly defy verbal explanation. These words that are tossed around are an attempt to describe what cannot be described unless you have gone though it. So people who haven't had this experience accept these verbal tags to make them feel better about not really getting it and we all react from our personal knowledge that these commonly used phrases really do not relate to what we know.

    I never liked the uses of battle or courage or any words like that. If you decide to open your eyes in the morning is that courageous? Do we or did we have a choice? I know that I wanted to be around for my family so I didn't off myself knowing they would never forgive me. Is that courageous? We just keep on keeping on one day at a time on a path we didn't choose. For the rest of the world, they need our acceptance that they do not know how to make us feel better but they want to feel better about their impotence and we allow them to make these WORDS acceptable to describe what "they" do not understand.

    The way these words don't work is why we are all here.
  • Minka
    Minka Member Posts: 29
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    missrenee said:

    I liked what you said about giving the "c" word so much power
    None of us here really know our fate, but I asked my husband to promise me to not write "she lost her battle with breast cancer" if that ever becomes my reality. I just hate reading that--makes the person sound like a loser when we all know what strong, capable warriors we all are. Just my thinking. Everyone on here has buzz words or phrases about the "c" word that they hate. That's just one of mine.

    Anyone here share my opinion on that?

    Hugs, Renee

    Me! Me!
    I absolutely do not want anyone to ever say 'She lost her battle..." with whatever the heck I die from. I have cancer. They say they 'got it all' but want me on chemo and pills.....doesn't quite sound like they 'got it all'. My personal battle is in my mind. I've been through so much physically in the last 4 years that had nothing to do with cancer that I'm trying to keep this in perspective to some of the other things I've survived...like a doctor perforating my colon four years ago and not finding it for 24 hours and being septic (month in the hospital, 15 inch scar down my belly). Was that a battle? I was just trying to make it through another day of TPN (nasty stuff). I find the battle in my mind are the 'what ifs?'....of course, the exact questions I have no answer to. I won't lose that 'battle' because it's what life is all about. What if?.....and then you make a decision and go on. And some day it ends. Life. And no matter what else has ever happened in my life, I am NOT a loser. And I hope that someone else will see this and realize they aren't a loser either. Thank you all for being my sisters.
    Minka
  • Pam5
    Pam5 Member Posts: 232
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    tufi000 said:

    words
    We have all had various experiences that truly defy verbal explanation. These words that are tossed around are an attempt to describe what cannot be described unless you have gone though it. So people who haven't had this experience accept these verbal tags to make them feel better about not really getting it and we all react from our personal knowledge that these commonly used phrases really do not relate to what we know.

    I never liked the uses of battle or courage or any words like that. If you decide to open your eyes in the morning is that courageous? Do we or did we have a choice? I know that I wanted to be around for my family so I didn't off myself knowing they would never forgive me. Is that courageous? We just keep on keeping on one day at a time on a path we didn't choose. For the rest of the world, they need our acceptance that they do not know how to make us feel better but they want to feel better about their impotence and we allow them to make these WORDS acceptable to describe what "they" do not understand.

    The way these words don't work is why we are all here.

    OH Ladies - such amazing
    OH Ladies - such amazing words of wisdom. I've had cancer 3 times in 26 years. Does that mean I'm a survivor? I've actually survived many things in my life worse than cancer. I don't look at it that way. I see each of these episodes as a challenge that must be met if I want to grow and fulfill my mission of being on this beautiful earth. For all the experiences I've had over the past 68 years, I keep filling up my toolbox with solutions, hope, experience and a deeper faith that God always has my back even if one of my experiences takes me out. When that happens, there will be a better plan that isn't for me to perform here. I try not to battle. I try to listen, to be led, to do the next right thing even if it hurts, to weather the storm which may last a day, 3 days, or in this past period 8 days. In between I get to play with my family, friends, laugh and share my experiences and solutions with people going through similar things regardless of what they are. How blessed am I?
  • Pam5
    Pam5 Member Posts: 232
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    tufi000 said:

    words
    We have all had various experiences that truly defy verbal explanation. These words that are tossed around are an attempt to describe what cannot be described unless you have gone though it. So people who haven't had this experience accept these verbal tags to make them feel better about not really getting it and we all react from our personal knowledge that these commonly used phrases really do not relate to what we know.

    I never liked the uses of battle or courage or any words like that. If you decide to open your eyes in the morning is that courageous? Do we or did we have a choice? I know that I wanted to be around for my family so I didn't off myself knowing they would never forgive me. Is that courageous? We just keep on keeping on one day at a time on a path we didn't choose. For the rest of the world, they need our acceptance that they do not know how to make us feel better but they want to feel better about their impotence and we allow them to make these WORDS acceptable to describe what "they" do not understand.

    The way these words don't work is why we are all here.

    OH Ladies - such amazing
    OH Ladies - such amazing words of wisdom. I've had cancer 3 times in 26 years. Does that mean I'm a survivor? I've actually survived many things in my life worse than cancer. I don't look at it that way. I see each of these episodes as a challenge that must be met if I want to grow and fulfill my mission of being on this beautiful earth. For all the experiences I've had over the past 68 years, I keep filling up my toolbox with solutions, hope, experience and a deeper faith that God always has my back even if one of my experiences takes me out. When that happens, there will be a better plan that isn't for me to perform here. I try not to battle. I try to listen, to be led, to do the next right thing even if it hurts, to weather the storm which may last a day, 3 days, or in this past period 8 days. In between I get to play with my family, friends, laugh and share my experiences and solutions with people going through similar things regardless of what they are. How blessed am I?