Just diagnosed, sugery next week.
The one notable thing I have discovered since my diagnosis is that people don't really know how to respond when you tell them. In fact, it's just easier to have someone else tell them, then when they talk to you, they've had time to process it.
I am glad this site and discussion board is available, for support, information, opinions, and everything else. My heart and prayers go out to all you that have gone through or are going through this. Thanks for listening.
Comments
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Hello and Welcome!
Hi -- I am sorry you have to deal with this too. But please know we are here to support each other.
One of the hardest things for me - still - is to deal with people in relationship to my diagnosis. The truth is people are scared of this illness. It's scary to think about. And going through treatments is not easy, but we all do it, and so will you. You will be OK.
The other reason why it's difficult is because they don't know about cancer. After been educated about it, I have faith I will go through this, and be OK. Many people, when they hear the word "c" they think "that is it"! But many people survive today with this illness, and the treatments are getting better. I suggest having a third person to communicate the news like you've been doing, since you need to focus on your recovery and peace of mind.
I am undergoing chemo now - getting my last one (God's will) this Friday (Taxol). When you are ready to go through all your treatments, you'll see many women here will be able to help you and provide you with any information you need.
What type of bc do you have? I had IDC, grade 3. No nodes involvement, but needed chemo anyway.
Please let us know if you have any questions. Thank you for your prayers. God is with us.0 -
So very welcome...
Glad you " found us"....but so sorry for the reason...yes, when first told we have bc it's as if the very air has been sucked from the room....we've all been there...some of us, including me, have been told this a second time....it's so much to process...the brain can only process so much info at one time....I have no family history either.....having a supportive husband,family and friends makes a huge difference...here's a bit of unsolicited advice....allow anyone and everyone who matters, help you in any manner...cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, etc....it's hard for most of us to accept help..but it allows those who love you and care about you to feel like they are doing something to help...it's as good for them as it is for you! I resisted this with my first go round but now that I have been diagnosed with a recurrence...yuk...I'm doing things differently...I realize now how important it is for our loved ones and close friends to "help" us...they can't fix this or take away our fears but it's something they are able to do...
And speaking from personal experience and always keep in mind everyone is different, My lumpectomy wasn't bad at all....Very little pain, more of a discomfort...I had mine at 1:00 PM....woke up in recovery at 2:30 given some pain meeds in my IV, drank two cokes, ate some crackers and was home on the couch by 4:15....eating a light dinner at 6:00...only took pain meds for that evening and once the following day..then just Advil for soreness.....my nodes biopsy incision was far more sensitive than the lumpectomy incision....
Please continue to post...ask anything and everything...feel free to rant and rave if needed....this board is a wealth of personal experiences with fantastic women.....we get it, we understand and we truly care.....keep us posted on your well being....
Hugs, Nancy0 -
BTW...LoveBabyJesus said:Hello and Welcome!
Hi -- I am sorry you have to deal with this too. But please know we are here to support each other.
One of the hardest things for me - still - is to deal with people in relationship to my diagnosis. The truth is people are scared of this illness. It's scary to think about. And going through treatments is not easy, but we all do it, and so will you. You will be OK.
The other reason why it's difficult is because they don't know about cancer. After been educated about it, I have faith I will go through this, and be OK. Many people, when they hear the word "c" they think "that is it"! But many people survive today with this illness, and the treatments are getting better. I suggest having a third person to communicate the news like you've been doing, since you need to focus on your recovery and peace of mind.
I am undergoing chemo now - getting my last one (God's will) this Friday (Taxol). When you are ready to go through all your treatments, you'll see many women here will be able to help you and provide you with any information you need.
What type of bc do you have? I had IDC, grade 3. No nodes involvement, but needed chemo anyway.
Please let us know if you have any questions. Thank you for your prayers. God is with us.
I too had a lumpectomy and it was not bad at all. Just be sure to relax for the first week, even if you feel great! It's still surgery, and your body needs to heal. The pain meds they give you may cause some constipation, so be sure to drink a lot of water, soft food, with fiber, and if they give you stool softener even better. You will be OK.0 -
hereditary
Welcome to the site, sorry you have to be here. This is an amazing site, the women are awesome! You have found a great place to be through your journey. Hearing you have cancer sometimes puts you in a fog for a while. I was, for several weeks, just going through the motions. It will clear, just give it time.
Having a good support at home is wonderful but sometimes you need some one that speaks the language. Keep in mind that you can ask any question and some one here will be able to help. Prayers and hugs are in abundance here too! That always helps.
As to no family history, only about 5-10% of all breast cancer is hereditary. Along with that, there is some difficulty knowing how complete the family history is. People are living longer, diagnoses is more accurate.
All the best,
Cindy
PS - My kids and grand kids were the best part of treatment. Even when I felt awful they made me smile.0 -
My story is like yours. I
My story is like yours. I never thought of BC because I do not have one relative ever diagnosed with it. I am sorry you had to hear those awlful words. I was diag Oct 2010 and my lumpectomy did not hurt at all. Do you know what kind of cancer you have? Mine was estrogen, so I am on Tamoxifen and had radiation. I will be praying for you. I have only been on this site a few times. There is alot of support. Hugs and prayers Donna0 -
Sorry you've joined us in this club...
But if you have to be here it's a fantastic place for support and caring. I know exactly what you mean about not believing what they were saying when given your diagnosis. My inner Cleopatra had decided this was all some minor thing that would clear up easily on its own. Talk about De-Nile.
It's wonderful to have support from your family, mine has really been great, but I can also tell sometimes when they have had all they can take, and that is one of the reasons I am so grateful for this site.
As for people not knowing how to respond....boy have we all seen it. It's just hard when I am in my "FIGHTING PINK WARRIOR" mode and they are just getting the news, (with that shock and fear that comes with it), I seem to end up comforting them at the same time I'm thinking....get out of my way I have a beast to kill.
1 thing I have learned in this battle that started 11/1/10 is that I am allowed to take a pass on some things, maybe my house isn't as clean as it was before, maybe the laundry lays in the dryer when the cycle is done, maybe I don't feel like it so I just don't do it,whatever it is, and the world hasn't stopped because of it. Focus on yourself and your healing, do what is right for you and come here when you want somebody to "get it"
I'm glad you found this site early in your journey and I am sending you positive thoughts,
Jennifer0 -
Not much to add but I wantedgrams2jc said:Sorry you've joined us in this club...
But if you have to be here it's a fantastic place for support and caring. I know exactly what you mean about not believing what they were saying when given your diagnosis. My inner Cleopatra had decided this was all some minor thing that would clear up easily on its own. Talk about De-Nile.
It's wonderful to have support from your family, mine has really been great, but I can also tell sometimes when they have had all they can take, and that is one of the reasons I am so grateful for this site.
As for people not knowing how to respond....boy have we all seen it. It's just hard when I am in my "FIGHTING PINK WARRIOR" mode and they are just getting the news, (with that shock and fear that comes with it), I seem to end up comforting them at the same time I'm thinking....get out of my way I have a beast to kill.
1 thing I have learned in this battle that started 11/1/10 is that I am allowed to take a pass on some things, maybe my house isn't as clean as it was before, maybe the laundry lays in the dryer when the cycle is done, maybe I don't feel like it so I just don't do it,whatever it is, and the world hasn't stopped because of it. Focus on yourself and your healing, do what is right for you and come here when you want somebody to "get it"
I'm glad you found this site early in your journey and I am sending you positive thoughts,
Jennifer
Not much to add but I wanted to chime in and welcome you to our family. Keep us updated on how you are doing.
Hugs,
Lorrie0 -
Welcome iluvmykids...butterflylvr said:Not much to add but I wanted
Not much to add but I wanted to chime in and welcome you to our family. Keep us updated on how you are doing.
Hugs,
Lorrie
...I am sorry you have found us, but you've found a fabulous group of supportive women. I too am new here. I had my lumpectomy several months ago, and I am starting my chemo journey several days before your surgery. I also have a teenage son. I found telling him one of the most heartbreaking things I ever had to do. He's cool with it. Be strong for your kids!
big hug,
pinkpalette0 -
Sending good thoughts!
Hi,
I too am sorry you had to join our club, but you will be grateful that you found this site...Everyone on here is so supportive. And, although every person is different in some ways, we really do understand the basic emotions, situation, and events you are going through. Keep reading and posting...it really helps me...
Love and best wishes, Pink sister!
Sybil0 -
welcome...I wish I had found
welcome...I wish I had found this long ago...I had BC 3 yrs ago...and didnt' stumble across this until about year and half ago...
I too had lumpectomy followed by radiation...it was actually better then I had anticipated...less pain and recovery.
I wish you well during your journie...
Denise0 -
welcome and hugs
glad you found the site....and we all want to hear from you and how the surgery went....or anytime you need to check in :-) We are here for you during this journey and will listen, offer our stories or advice, or support as needed. Cancer sucks...but it is what it is and we can all get through this with each others help! I know what you mean about people not knowing how to react or what to say. I chose not to tell anyone so I would not be disappointed in their reaction or maybe lack of support. I waited til I was through treatment to 'come out of the cancer closet' and even now I prefer not to broadcast it. Unfortunately my compression sleeve on my arm gives me away:-) Anyway, good luck with your treatments and glad you have your family by your side. It will all be okay and again, we are here whenever you need to 'talk' to a friend. Hugs0 -
Welcome, welcomecavediver said:welcome and hugs
glad you found the site....and we all want to hear from you and how the surgery went....or anytime you need to check in :-) We are here for you during this journey and will listen, offer our stories or advice, or support as needed. Cancer sucks...but it is what it is and we can all get through this with each others help! I know what you mean about people not knowing how to react or what to say. I chose not to tell anyone so I would not be disappointed in their reaction or maybe lack of support. I waited til I was through treatment to 'come out of the cancer closet' and even now I prefer not to broadcast it. Unfortunately my compression sleeve on my arm gives me away:-) Anyway, good luck with your treatments and glad you have your family by your side. It will all be okay and again, we are here whenever you need to 'talk' to a friend. Hugs
This is a wonderful place to find yourself during a most difficult time. We all welcome you and send our best wishes and positive thoughts. You can do this!0 -
I had one of my friends tell everyone
I understand your feeling about people's reactions. They just didn't know what to say. I kept wondering if I did the same thing when I heard about someone with cancer. One of my closet friends finally called everyone to let them know. I just couldn't figure out how to call someone up and say, "Hey, guess what. I have cancer." Anyway.
You are in the right place, particularly at the beginning of this journey. I joined this board last fall just after I received my diagnosis. The members ebb and flow as their disease is dealt with. But you will always find someone who is going through it just like you. From surgery to chemo to rads to recovery.
As for the lumpectomy, I was in and out of the hospital in 4 hours. It took about 2 weeks to recover enough to go back to work, but I worked from home (I'm a bookeeper for a small real estate office), about 6 days after the surgery. Prayers for an easy time for you. Barb0 -
Welcoming you to the bestbutterflylvr said:Not much to add but I wanted
Not much to add but I wanted to chime in and welcome you to our family. Keep us updated on how you are doing.
Hugs,
Lorrie
Welcoming you to the best site of pink sisters! I had a lumpectomy with rads. I was in some pain after my lumpectomy, but not bad. I think I only took pain pills for a couple of days. We're here for you!
Hugs, Megan0 -
WecomeNJMom10 said:I had one of my friends tell everyone
I understand your feeling about people's reactions. They just didn't know what to say. I kept wondering if I did the same thing when I heard about someone with cancer. One of my closet friends finally called everyone to let them know. I just couldn't figure out how to call someone up and say, "Hey, guess what. I have cancer." Anyway.
You are in the right place, particularly at the beginning of this journey. I joined this board last fall just after I received my diagnosis. The members ebb and flow as their disease is dealt with. But you will always find someone who is going through it just like you. From surgery to chemo to rads to recovery.
As for the lumpectomy, I was in and out of the hospital in 4 hours. It took about 2 weeks to recover enough to go back to work, but I worked from home (I'm a bookeeper for a small real estate office), about 6 days after the surgery. Prayers for an easy time for you. Barb
So glad you found this site. The WARRIORS here are incredible. I also have wonderful support from my family and friends, but have found this site adds the extra support needed from awesome women who are going through the same emotions and experiences.
I had a lumpectomy , 2 nodes removed and my chemo port put in 3 weeks ago. I had very little pain with the lumpectomy - was back at work the following Tuesday. The port was more painful for me. I was suprised, I expected it to be the opposite.
We'll all be with you on the 13th with prayers, postive thoughts and energy. Let us know how it goes.
Hugs,
Debi0 -
lumpectomy
Hi there, been there, did that. My surgery was March 8th so I am well on my way to healing. It is tough at the beginning but take it easy and get all the help you can. It's summer so use paper plates~anything that will lighten the load for a couple months. You will do great. Do you know what stage you are? Perhaps after surgery they will know better. No Cancer in my family either. Friends rallied around and were a great support, and my daughter was just wonderful. Still there is always one friend who knows what to do. I think the drain was the hardest part to deal with, and changing the dressings, but once the drain came out everything got easier. Ask anything. Ask everything, and if I can help I will be happy to. You didn't mention Chemo or Radiation so perhaps yours was caught very early. I hope so. Take care, and expect that unexpected support. It is wonderful. Cindy0 -
Welcome, even though I am sopoplolly said:Welcome to you. We sorry
Welcome to you. We sorry you have to be here, but we're happy to have another pink sister. Many people can answer any questions you have on this site, and I think you'll find this a comfort as you begin your journey.
Judy
Welcome, even though I am so sorry for the reason you are here. This is the club no one wants to join.
However, you will find lots of support and encouragement from your pink sisters.
I wish you good luck with your surgery. Keep us updated.
Lex0 -
A warm Welcome ...sinee said:lumpectomy
Hi there, been there, did that. My surgery was March 8th so I am well on my way to healing. It is tough at the beginning but take it easy and get all the help you can. It's summer so use paper plates~anything that will lighten the load for a couple months. You will do great. Do you know what stage you are? Perhaps after surgery they will know better. No Cancer in my family either. Friends rallied around and were a great support, and my daughter was just wonderful. Still there is always one friend who knows what to do. I think the drain was the hardest part to deal with, and changing the dressings, but once the drain came out everything got easier. Ask anything. Ask everything, and if I can help I will be happy to. You didn't mention Chemo or Radiation so perhaps yours was caught very early. I hope so. Take care, and expect that unexpected support. It is wonderful. Cindy
I equate my breast cancer journey, much like a collalso roller coast ride! So many highs, so many lows!! Emotions all over the map, changing by the hour.
As a 2010 survivor of chemo to reassure you that it's not that bad. While there is plenty to be scared about with any cancer diagnosis, try not to be scared -- and the more positive and relaxed you can be, the better all your surgery and treatments may go. Many knowledgeable people have been involved in helping determine the right treatment for each of us, because we are all different, and new treatments and studies are coming out regularly.
My suggestion ... Information and foreign jargon is talked about during chemo sessions, and most Oncologist will see you, after your infusion has finished .. if not him/her then the PA -A tape record comes in handy .. record the conversation, so you can use it as a reference. Notebook for taking notes .. and writing down all questions you may have -- plus you have concerns, please write them down and address them during your Oncology appointment.
With all chemo therapy infused drugs .. there are side efforts, and many of us WARRIORS .. suffer from 1 or 2, while others suffer a great deal.
My chemo cocktail==== taxotere, carboplatin, and herceptin ... I did suffer with mouth and throat sores (Tom Natural toothpaste helped); the steroids and other meds helped with my nauseated before and during chemo .. after chemo infusions -- nausea plagued me for several days (everybody is different -- just my case, and my body) I did suffer with fatigue and bouts and constipation issues - please do not hesitate to call your Oncologist in attempts to find relief.
Hydrate, rest, and hydrate some more. Small meals can often help with nausea. I also splashed / flavored my never ending water consumptions with crystal light, lemonade, cranberry juice or apple juice. Herbal tea worked in the evenings, for me. .. drinking plain water endlessly, got a little boring for me.
Lastly, please put your Oncologist telephone on speed dial .. and call when any and all concerns - regardless of time of day or night!
Strength, Courage and Hope.
Vicki Sam0 -
A warm Welcome ...sinee said:lumpectomy
Hi there, been there, did that. My surgery was March 8th so I am well on my way to healing. It is tough at the beginning but take it easy and get all the help you can. It's summer so use paper plates~anything that will lighten the load for a couple months. You will do great. Do you know what stage you are? Perhaps after surgery they will know better. No Cancer in my family either. Friends rallied around and were a great support, and my daughter was just wonderful. Still there is always one friend who knows what to do. I think the drain was the hardest part to deal with, and changing the dressings, but once the drain came out everything got easier. Ask anything. Ask everything, and if I can help I will be happy to. You didn't mention Chemo or Radiation so perhaps yours was caught very early. I hope so. Take care, and expect that unexpected support. It is wonderful. Cindy
I equate my breast cancer journey, much like a collalso roller coast ride! So many highs, so many lows!! Emotions all over the map, changing by the hour.
As a 2010 survivor of chemo to reassure you that it's not that bad. While there is plenty to be scared about with any cancer diagnosis, try not to be scared -- and the more positive and relaxed you can be, the better all your surgery and treatments may go. Many knowledgeable people have been involved in helping determine the right treatment for each of us, because we are all different, and new treatments and studies are coming out regularly.
My suggestion ... Information and foreign jargon is talked about during chemo sessions, and most Oncologist will see you, after your infusion has finished .. if not him/her then the PA -A tape record comes in handy .. record the conversation, so you can use it as a reference. Notebook for taking notes .. and writing down all questions you may have -- plus you have concerns, please write them down and address them during your Oncology appointment.
With all chemo therapy infused drugs .. there are side efforts, and many of us WARRIORS .. suffer from 1 or 2, while others suffer a great deal.
My chemo cocktail==== taxotere, carboplatin, and herceptin ... I did suffer with mouth and throat sores (Tom Natural toothpaste helped); the steroids and other meds helped with my nauseated before and during chemo .. after chemo infusions -- nausea plagued me for several days (everybody is different -- just my case, and my body) I did suffer with fatigue and bouts and constipation issues - please do not hesitate to call your Oncologist in attempts to find relief.
Hydrate, rest, and hydrate some more. Small meals can often help with nausea. I also splashed / flavored my never ending water consumptions with crystal light, lemonade, cranberry juice or apple juice. Herbal tea worked in the evenings, for me. .. drinking plain water endlessly, got a little boring for me.
Lastly, please put your Oncologist telephone on speed dial .. and call when any and all concerns - regardless of time of day or night!
Strength, Courage and Hope.
Vicki Sam0
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