Introducing myself
I had 2 tumors close together and the total size was 2.4cm with a 1 mm clear margin (I had very small breast)I am ER+ PR+ & HER2/NEU+
There was no cancer found in my sentinel lymph nodes
Yesterday I found out that because of the size of the tumors that I will need Chemo,Hormone Therapy and they recommend radiation.
I have handled all of this so well up until I heard the word Chemo yesterday. I am not sure why this scares me so much but it does. Today I feel as though it's just never going to end.I could use any kind of info and advice that I can get. I think once I have processed everything I will be fine.
Comments
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Hello Dear Sweet Mary, What
Hello Dear Sweet Mary,
What a beautiful family you have. Your cancer and mine are almost mirror of each other. My tumor was in my left breast no nodes, ER+PR positive. The course of treatment your doctor is prescribing to you is exactly the path I am following. I had chemo first, followed up by a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I am currently sporting my inflated tissue expanders and going through my radiation treatments. I am also excited to say my last rad treatments will be next week and will be put on hormone therapy mid July. My journey started late October and it has been a long road.
Chemo will never be something any of us will ever want to do, but when you compare the percentages of survival with our without it you find that strength. When I lost my hair during my treatments I learned so much about myself. I have an inner strength that I never knew I had. I wasn't as modest about my looks as I always believed I would be ( I wore hats and scarves, no wigs)and I found out just how many people loved and adored me. It's funny but my cancer was a great self check about what's more important to me.
You my dear have five others to fight for besides yourself. Each of those treatments that your MO wants you to do will give you fantastic odds to beat this nasty beast. I am sorry you had to join this group, but thankful you found us. I too have found strength from these beautiful pink sisters.
After the news finally settles in, you will have that warrior attitude just like the rest of us and we will be here to take your hand.
Hugs,
Lorrie0 -
You can do it!
Hi Mary,
I had two lumpectomies, (IDC Grade 2, Stage 1a, ER/PR+, HER2-) and was initially told I would have to have no chemo, "just radiation". Then, after they did my oncotyping test, the Onc said I needed chemo to ensure that the tumors didn't come back-oncotyping score was higher than they expected it to be. Anyway, when I heard chemo, I was devastated. I decided that I was going to fight this awful beast, and I ended up with four infusions of Taxotere/Cytoxan. They were three weeks apart (so a whole season). I call it my "Chemo Fall". Three weeks after the last chemo, I had radiation-35 treatments. I worked the whole time (chemo was on Thursday afternoon, so I took Friday off-long weekend each time. I did my radiation treatments on the way to work.)
I know it sounds scary and so unpleasant, but you can do it. I lost my hair, and I was tired a lot. I had some nausea, but Zofran is a drug that helped me a lot with that. I bought two wigs and, since I have always been a curly girl, I had a straight bob (wig)for a while! Since my chemo fall was in 2009, my hair is all back and is still curly
One of the weird things, too, is that with chemo more people know about it. That bothered me at first. But most of my friends, co-workers and family were great. (I do say most because there are always some who will say-do things that are not so sensitive).
I wish you the best in your thoughts, your decisions, and your treatment! This is a really good website for sharing, getting ideas, information, and support. Keep posting!
Sybil0 -
Thank youbutterflylvr said:Hello Dear Sweet Mary, What
Hello Dear Sweet Mary,
What a beautiful family you have. Your cancer and mine are almost mirror of each other. My tumor was in my left breast no nodes, ER+PR positive. The course of treatment your doctor is prescribing to you is exactly the path I am following. I had chemo first, followed up by a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I am currently sporting my inflated tissue expanders and going through my radiation treatments. I am also excited to say my last rad treatments will be next week and will be put on hormone therapy mid July. My journey started late October and it has been a long road.
Chemo will never be something any of us will ever want to do, but when you compare the percentages of survival with our without it you find that strength. When I lost my hair during my treatments I learned so much about myself. I have an inner strength that I never knew I had. I wasn't as modest about my looks as I always believed I would be ( I wore hats and scarves, no wigs)and I found out just how many people loved and adored me. It's funny but my cancer was a great self check about what's more important to me.
You my dear have five others to fight for besides yourself. Each of those treatments that your MO wants you to do will give you fantastic odds to beat this nasty beast. I am sorry you had to join this group, but thankful you found us. I too have found strength from these beautiful pink sisters.
After the news finally settles in, you will have that warrior attitude just like the rest of us and we will be here to take your hand.
Hugs,
Lorrie
Lorrie
Thank you so much for the uplifting reply.I am very happy to hear that you are almost done with radiation. I wish you well and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
I think what scares me the most is the fact that my children are going to see what I am going through and the thought of them being in any kind of emotional pain is hard to bear. I know they are stronger than I give them credit for but I have spent my life protecting them now I feel as though I can't do that.
Have you had any problems with the tissue expanders and radiation? My surgeon told me yesterday that my PS may want to hold off on adding more saline until after radiation? I would love to get them expanded in the timeline he first gave me.
xo
Mary0 -
Mary,
Chemo is scary for
Mary,
Chemo is scary for everyone but it won't last forever. You will get your groove with the treatment. Know your bad days and good days between injections, figure out if you will do wigs, scarves or beanies or just sport the bald look. Find your comfort food and keep plenty on hand so when you don't feel like eating, you can.
Right now it seems like it will last forever, I too felt that way last october. I will be done with radiation next week!
You have 5 wonderful reasons to fight as hard as you can, so you will.
All the best,
Cindy
The ACS site (including this board) and the book "Just get me through this" have helped me alot.0 -
Thnk youCAchick said:You can do it!
Hi Mary,
I had two lumpectomies, (IDC Grade 2, Stage 1a, ER/PR+, HER2-) and was initially told I would have to have no chemo, "just radiation". Then, after they did my oncotyping test, the Onc said I needed chemo to ensure that the tumors didn't come back-oncotyping score was higher than they expected it to be. Anyway, when I heard chemo, I was devastated. I decided that I was going to fight this awful beast, and I ended up with four infusions of Taxotere/Cytoxan. They were three weeks apart (so a whole season). I call it my "Chemo Fall". Three weeks after the last chemo, I had radiation-35 treatments. I worked the whole time (chemo was on Thursday afternoon, so I took Friday off-long weekend each time. I did my radiation treatments on the way to work.)
I know it sounds scary and so unpleasant, but you can do it. I lost my hair, and I was tired a lot. I had some nausea, but Zofran is a drug that helped me a lot with that. I bought two wigs and, since I have always been a curly girl, I had a straight bob (wig)for a while! Since my chemo fall was in 2009, my hair is all back and is still curly
One of the weird things, too, is that with chemo more people know about it. That bothered me at first. But most of my friends, co-workers and family were great. (I do say most because there are always some who will say-do things that are not so sensitive).
I wish you the best in your thoughts, your decisions, and your treatment! This is a really good website for sharing, getting ideas, information, and support. Keep posting!
Sybil
Thank you Sybil! You know It really does help to hear from woman who are going through or have gone through what I am. I am very thankful that I found this site. I can do this!!
Thank you!!0 -
Welcome Marymamolady said:Mary,
Chemo is scary for
Mary,
Chemo is scary for everyone but it won't last forever. You will get your groove with the treatment. Know your bad days and good days between injections, figure out if you will do wigs, scarves or beanies or just sport the bald look. Find your comfort food and keep plenty on hand so when you don't feel like eating, you can.
Right now it seems like it will last forever, I too felt that way last october. I will be done with radiation next week!
You have 5 wonderful reasons to fight as hard as you can, so you will.
All the best,
Cindy
The ACS site (including this board) and the book "Just get me through this" have helped me alot.
I am so sorry that you need to be here but you will find so much support and info here. Great people! It does all happen so fast sometimes that it is hard to take it all in. I had IDC was able to have a lumpectomy. I had 4 rounds of taxotere and cytoxan, 30 rads and am now on tamoxifen. My last chemo was July 2nd 2010. It was not the easiest thing to do but I did it and so will you. Chemo is scary but not as bad as it used to be, I tolerated it well was not ever really sick. I did have some other side effects, constipation, tiredness,some hot flashes but nothing just terrible. Your Dr. will be able to help you out with whatever side effects you have. Feel free to ask anything. God Bless
(((hugs))) Janice0 -
Welcome, Mary
Like others have said, sorry you had to come here, but this is a great place for support and encouragement...and friendship! I was diagnosed last August with Stage 2, and am ER-/PR-/HER2+. Had 4 rounds of chemo (Taxotere/Cytoxin/Herceptin) every three weeks and had to stop for elevated liver enzymes. In January I had my lumpectomy and 11 nodes removed (all nodes were clean) and resumed chemo in February...this time 6 weekly treatments of Taxol/Herceptin. Stopped again after 5 because of the same liver issues. Chemo was done.
Radiation started May 3 and ended June 17 (last Friday!)...33 rads in all. I still get Herceptin IVs every 3 weeks through the end of September.
It's a long road but you can do it. your kids will adjust, although some things are hard. My 12 year old son had the hardest time with me losing my hair. Then he got used to it. He was brave and helpful, most of the time. Don't hide anything from them, is what I learned. It's easier on them when they know what's happening.
We're all here for you! Stay strong.
Bonnie0 -
Hey Mary,BMS said:Welcome, Mary
Like others have said, sorry you had to come here, but this is a great place for support and encouragement...and friendship! I was diagnosed last August with Stage 2, and am ER-/PR-/HER2+. Had 4 rounds of chemo (Taxotere/Cytoxin/Herceptin) every three weeks and had to stop for elevated liver enzymes. In January I had my lumpectomy and 11 nodes removed (all nodes were clean) and resumed chemo in February...this time 6 weekly treatments of Taxol/Herceptin. Stopped again after 5 because of the same liver issues. Chemo was done.
Radiation started May 3 and ended June 17 (last Friday!)...33 rads in all. I still get Herceptin IVs every 3 weeks through the end of September.
It's a long road but you can do it. your kids will adjust, although some things are hard. My 12 year old son had the hardest time with me losing my hair. Then he got used to it. He was brave and helpful, most of the time. Don't hide anything from them, is what I learned. It's easier on them when they know what's happening.
We're all here for you! Stay strong.
Bonnie
My Plastic surgeon had no problem with fully inflating my expanders and I am about a "C" cup (700 cc's). He knew going into my surgery that radiation would be the next step, so he placed my expanders in with the "metal" port site out of radiation range. I was told it would be beneficial to have them fully expanded because the skin will shrink from radiation and thus trying to expand them afterwards might be more difficult. I guess it's a question you will have to ask your PS.
Hang in there Mary and like Bonnie said keep the kids informed. I am sure they would love to be Mommie's little helper when she needs them to be. But do keep an eye on their behavior, and don't be afraid to seek councilor assistance if needed.
Stay in touch and private message me if you'd like, we are all here for you.
Lorrie0 -
welcome...I have not gone
welcome...I have not gone through chemo so I dont' have any advice..just wanted to say thinking of you...I am sure you will get much great advice from others...
Denise0 -
welcome...I have not gone
welcome...I have not gone through chemo so I dont' have any advice..just wanted to say thinking of you...I am sure you will get much great advice from others...
Denise0 -
welcome...I have not gone
welcome...I have not gone through chemo so I dont' have any advice..just wanted to say thinking of you...I am sure you will get much great advice from others...
Denise0 -
Hi Mary
I just love your screen name
Sorry to meet you this way.
I know all who have had to have Chemo have shuddered at the thought when it was first mentioned. I have to say that although it was no picnic, I expected the very worse...which when I finally had it, made it tolerable.
They have so much out there to help you so you don't (I didn't) have to feel sick to your stomach. Most everyone (me included) can tell you that on the 2-3 day after, you'll feel tired. Like you ran a marathon. On that day, just take it easy, rest, watch T.V. After that day, you recover and feel better.
True to your screen name, you'll be so caught up on your precious ones that you'll be more preoccupied with them instead of focusing on side effects. Family, kids especially keep your days "normal" and that helps. It helped me.
You'll be fine Praying all goes well,
Sylvia0 -
WELCOME!
Hi Mary -- I am 33 and I started like you, SCARED of chemo. I go to the support group at my clinic and the counselor said there is only one thing that scares people more than cancer, and that's chemo. Well...at least for some people, because for me, although I was scared of chemo, I wanted to kick the cancer super hard! But the entire process is scary at first, until you do it. For me the fear was a lot bigger than the actual treatment.
What chemo drugs are you getting and how many sessions? There are so many people here that will help you through this! They helped me a lot. And now I can help others too. I have two more treatments left to do, then I start radiation in August, 21 days.
Please keep us posted! Good luck.0 -
You can do this...
As you will learn the hardest part of all of this is the anticipation. Each of us reacts differently to each chemo. A lot of the side effects are similar, but each of us has our own stories. Some have little to no side effects and some have all the side effects, all depends on our bodies, the type of chemo, other medical issues that may play a part, a big one is our support system. I have found that with a great support system, it is all doable.
My best for you and your family, sending positive thoughts and prayers that it will go as smooth as it can be.
My lifesaver has been my port!
Carol0 -
Welcome to this site. I
Welcome to this site. I know how you feel about hearing the word chemo. The day I found out about the cancer the surgeon was pretty sure I would need chemo. I was hoping he was wrong. I have finished 6 of 8 chemo infusions, 4 Adramyacin/Cytoxin and 2 Taxol . I receive the chemo every two weeks.
It has not been nearly as bad as I had anticipated. I know you must have your hands full with five children. One of my biggest fears was how am I going to take care of my two children and keep their life as normal as possible. The A/C was a little rough but doable. I had a little nausea but the anti nausea medication took care of that. I had one or two days where I felt more run down and needed more rest. But I have never had to just stay in bed all day. I am fortunate that I do not have to work. My parents come help me for a few days after my infusion. I have been able to keep up with most of my routine and the kids. The taxol I am on now is much better than the A/C. I feel much more like myself with maybe one sluggish day.
Another fear I had was loosing my hair. It is a very personal experience. I decided to buzz my hair before it started falling out all over the place. I have a wig I have worn a couple times. I prefer to wear scarves.
I know chemo is something you do not want to do. You can do it. Keep a positive attitude and allow friends and family to help you.
Good luck on your journey!0 -
Welcome!!
Hi!
I had early bilatteral BC (estrogen poss) and opted for lumpectomies because I was told I would only have to do radiation. Well one of my lymph nodes had a few individual cells in it and so they told me I would have chemo after all. I was scared too, but I actually think it helps having children. They mad me stronger that I probably would have been otherwise. I even worked full time while going thru chemo. It wasn't a walk it the park, but it is definately doable. I made myself have fun. Yes I lost my hair, but I bought 4 wigs- all different colors and had fun. My son (7) loved my red wig. He said it made me look Sassy!My daughter (11) was always there with a big hug My cancer was estrogen possitive so after the chemo and radiation they put me on tamoxifen. I call my tamoxifen my friend because it keeps my cancer from having anything to feed on. The doctors said that because I did everything that I only have about a 5% chance of recurrance. That is amazing! I know that you are scared right now, but know that each thing you do cuts down your chances for recurrance.
I love my husband, but he kind of went awall for a while, but my kids kept me "strong and brave and true" as my son would say.0 -
NEWBY ALSO
Mary, I am new to this site as well, I must tell you that I was "SCARED" literally I think to death of the word "Chemo", I was given a choice to have or not to have, which of course made it more difficult for me. However, I bit the bullet and figured that I had a bilateral - reconstructive surgery - I may as well go for the "Insurance Policy" being the Chemo... I have had 3 treatments and I go for my last one tomorrow - and I must say I am scared as I was on the first one, but I "Believe" - I pray and know that "All things are possible thru Jesus Christ... So with that said, You can do this - trust me I was horrified and no it has not been a joy ride, but it also has not been what I thought it would be.... I wish I had found this site long before now, it is so nice to hear from women that are going through or have been through what we are going through. So hand tough! You can DO IT!! God's Grace be with you!!!!0 -
talking to the kids... and hairNinnieD said:NEWBY ALSO
Mary, I am new to this site as well, I must tell you that I was "SCARED" literally I think to death of the word "Chemo", I was given a choice to have or not to have, which of course made it more difficult for me. However, I bit the bullet and figured that I had a bilateral - reconstructive surgery - I may as well go for the "Insurance Policy" being the Chemo... I have had 3 treatments and I go for my last one tomorrow - and I must say I am scared as I was on the first one, but I "Believe" - I pray and know that "All things are possible thru Jesus Christ... So with that said, You can do this - trust me I was horrified and no it has not been a joy ride, but it also has not been what I thought it would be.... I wish I had found this site long before now, it is so nice to hear from women that are going through or have been through what we are going through. So hand tough! You can DO IT!! God's Grace be with you!!!!
I have had 3 Chemo treatments and have 9 days to go until my 4th round (and last chemo). I have two kids and I am tired. I can't imagine how you do it with 5!
When I told my daughters about this diagnosis, I just said,"mommy is sick and has to do this treatment. It will make me tired, but it will end and we will get through this bump in the road".
My 15 year old daughter shaved my head for me when I lost more than half my hair. We actually laughed about it. (Imagine walking up to your kid and saying , "can you shave my head please?". She's been great and taking on dish duty at home.
My 6 year old hated my bald head. She is really into Disney princesses and all princesses seem to have hair. Though after a week, she got over it. Now she likes to "rub the fuzzy head". She likes how soft my head is. Last week she flipped my hat off my head to show her friends, when I went to pick her up at school. I find if I am mellow, then she won't get upset. This week she is really mad at me, because I can't take her swimming because of my picc line.
Hang in there. It stinks to go through this. And it is OK to let the vacuuming go and order pizza if you are too tired : )0 -
Hi Mary
Most of us have been there and know exactly how scared you are. I cried when the chemo nurse told me and my husband about the chemo I would be getting and the side effects that I may get. You know it really was not as bad as I thought it would be. I had a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction for Inv. duct. carcinoma. I am 7 months post chemo and let me tell you there is a rainbow waiting for you as it has for many. So please don't fear chemo...it is rough at times but it is very doable. With all your lovely children I'm sure you will have alot of support. They will see you go through this with strength and courage and they will be stronger and will admire you for showing them that life can throw us a curve but we can get through it. Now, keep us posted as your journey continues.
Hugs,
Annette0 -
Hi Mary, Welcome to a greatAnnette 11 said:Hi Mary
Most of us have been there and know exactly how scared you are. I cried when the chemo nurse told me and my husband about the chemo I would be getting and the side effects that I may get. You know it really was not as bad as I thought it would be. I had a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction for Inv. duct. carcinoma. I am 7 months post chemo and let me tell you there is a rainbow waiting for you as it has for many. So please don't fear chemo...it is rough at times but it is very doable. With all your lovely children I'm sure you will have alot of support. They will see you go through this with strength and courage and they will be stronger and will admire you for showing them that life can throw us a curve but we can get through it. Now, keep us posted as your journey continues.
Hugs,
Annette
Hi Mary,
Welcome to a great place to feel love, vent and receive encouragement. I was dx in April 2009 with Stage 3 invasive ductal with 8 nodes positive.
I was so scared to have chemo but honestly it was very do-able. Like others have said, you will be tired and you'll begin to know which days are better than others and before you know it, you'll get in sync. It's amazing what we do when we have no choice, we become very strong. The meds they have for nausea now are very good and I never once vomited, although everyone is different. My stomach was upset a lot but I have always had a bad stomach anyway.
You're children are beautiful and like everyone has said, you have 5 great reasons to stay strong. My 4 grandchildren took it remarkably well. I was so afraid to scare them but I found that being honest with them and having a sense of humor helped a lot. I tried to always let them see that even though I was sick, I could still be funny. My youngest had the best time with my bald head ! He would crack jokes to me about it all the time and I would give it back as he laughed when I'd pull off my hat or wig in public for him.
Take care, keep fighting and we are always here for you.
Hugs,
Wanda0
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