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found a lump in my left breast again

dmdudra's picture
dmdudra
Posts: 50
Joined: Apr 2009

Sorry I have not been on here for a while I was hoping all this was behind me. I found a lump in my left breast a month ago and was hoping for the best. Today I went and seen my oncologist, he tells me to not worry that we will do some test, CT scan, Bone scan and mammogram. Sorry but when I am told not to worry, I worry... so here we go again. I can not afford to do this all over again. I spent all of 2009 fighting breast cancer for what? so that a year and five months later I could go through this again. Sorry but does not seem worth it to me. My boyfriend is upset and said that this is not fair. Well I agree I have two more kids I want to watch grow up one will be 16yr this June and my daughter Beautiful daughter just turned 10yr in January. I do not what to lose my hair again. I guess I will hope for the best but expect the worst. Please tell me what your thoughts are on this subject.. is it worth fighting one year to get a year and five months... I really want to know..

MAJW
Posts: 2515
Joined: May 2009

You can't afford NOT to do this again....IF necessary...,!!!!!!!! Try to wait and see what the test results show...I had a terrible scare 1 year after my first diagnoses...thought the same thoughts..." here I go again"...turned out to be nothing.... it's normal to be terrified again...but again, wait for test results...I know, easy for me to say...

You're children need you...reason enough to "do it again". If you have to...
Please keep posting...we care..
Wishing you the best.
Hugs,
Nancy

MAJW
Posts: 2515
Joined: May 2009

I just read your profile you had Bc in the left breast...since this is the same breast, it may just be scar tissue....I have that myself in the bc breast.

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Praying that it is NOT cancer again. I know you are thinking the worst, we all would, but, try to stay positive.

Good luck with your tests and let us know what your results are.

Hugs, Megan

jessiesmom1's picture
jessiesmom1
Posts: 709
Joined: Jun 2010

I am SO sorry you have had a recurrence and are back on the Boards again. Only you can truly know what the treatment was like for you and whether you are willing to go through it again. I know that there are just some days where you want to give up. My daughter had just turned 17 and my son was 19 at the time of my diagnosis. Everything I went through was for them. I wanted to see my daughter graduate from high school - I did. I wanted to help her move into her 1st college dorm room - I did. I wanted to go to Parents Weekend - I did. I wanted to see the new house my son rented at college - I did. If I had given up and let those lymph nodes grow then I would have missed all those things. They would have missed another year of having a mom who loved them. Losing hair is definitely traumatic but it DOES grow back. Baldness is temporary - death is permanent. There are a number of Stage III and IV survivors on this Board. I hope they chime in with their experiences. Only you (and your doctors) can decide.

Please keep in touch.

IRENE

jnl's picture
jnl
Posts: 3873
Joined: May 2009

Life is always worth fighting for! Praying that your test results will be clean!

Try to be positive and we will all pray for you.

Hugs, Leeza

RozHopkins
Posts: 450
Joined: Dec 2010

Of course you would worry. If it turns out to be nothing, wonderful. If not, we all understand the trauma. Like most ladies fear initial onset of bc, those who have conquered it once live in fear of recurrence. Yes, you can do it. Your children are young therefore guessing you are younger than me, therefore, lots of life, love, motherhood, everything to look forward to. If you can, please let us know how you get on. Good luck. Roz

Lynn Smith
Posts: 1265
Joined: Mar 2011

Worry but remember it may not be anything serious.Yes it is worth fighting.Fight with all your might.You have reasons to.

I was also dx in 2009(Aug) but my doctor put off telling the breast center to do a needle biopsy.It wasn't till 7 weeks later it was done.Malignant.Then as I was getting prepped for the surgery the radiology doctor found another tumor that needed to be marked.It turned out benign.I was upset but didn't want to get my gander up just going into surgery.

At my 2 week check up my breast surgeon wanted to do a second surgery in just a few short weeks(check margins).Just 2 days before that surgery I did a self exam and found what I Thought was fluid.Doctor said wait and see.It was another benign tumor.I know so well what you are talking about and how you feel. It all happened to me in just a short time.

So far now no problems.I will be a 2 year survivor soon and I pray for a good mammo.

Lynn Smith

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Congrats Lynn on your 2 year survivorship!

Noel's picture
Noel
Posts: 3101
Joined: Apr 2009

Yes, let's all hope and pray for the best! You have so much to live for with those 2 young children that if, and I say if, it is cancer again, you will fight for yourself and for your children. But, I am praying that it is something else, scar tissue or a cyst or something.

Keep updating us.

laughs_a_lot's picture
laughs_a_lot
Posts: 1368
Joined: Mar 2011

Dmdudra,
You did not say what kind of bc you had earlier. One type that tends to recurr is Tripple Negative breast cancer. So if this is not the kind of breast cancer you had the first time around then your chances of it being something other than cancer is fairly good. It is worth it any day of the week in my opinion. The Lord is not done with me yet so I just keep fighting.

dmdudra's picture
dmdudra
Posts: 50
Joined: Apr 2009

laughs_a_lot,
Yes my Breast cancer was triple negative that is why I am so scared. My doctor said to just wait it could be scar tissue since it is where my lumpectomy was or it could be a calcium deposit since I passed a calcium kidney stone here a few weeks ago.. I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst... will keep posted... thanks dmdudra

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

Praying for you and sending you strength!

Hugs, Diane

camul's picture
camul
Posts: 2017
Joined: Dec 2010

this current fight has been on for almost 9 months and will continue for however long my body is able to stand it.
It is scary and perfectly understandable that we all question if it is worth it going through chemo when there is the possibility of it coming back, but the alternative is much more permanent than the chemo. I just look around at my family and know I want to be here as long as I am functioning and not a burden.
Good thing may be that if it is the beast visiting again, it is in the breast. Wishing you the best, praying that it is benign!
~Carol

VickiSam's picture
VickiSam
Posts: 8228
Joined: Aug 2009

your way. Yes, you can and will do whatever possible to get rid of any cancer from your body! Will it be difficult, yes .. is it doable -- yes. You have children whom love you, and a wonderful man in your life that adores you. All things are possible. Dare to DREAM big, ----life after breast cancer.

Let's hope it does not come to this, and all your Oncologist finds is scar tissue --

Strength, Courage and Hope.

Vicki Sam

missrenee's picture
missrenee
Posts: 2137
Joined: Apr 2010

My dear sweet sister--it is normal to feel the way you're feeling right now. This disease is so unfair and we shouldn't have to go through all this. But, life is good and your beautiful children who you described need you so much. You owe it to them to fight with all you've got and you owe it to yourself and the man in your life.

And, don't forget--you don't even know if this is a false alarm yet. Put that positive thinking to work right now--in your mind, know that this is nothing. Or, if it isn't--know that you can beat this again if you have to. If you believe in a higher power--ask for the strength and courage you need and you will get it.

You can do this--and you will.

All my positive energy coming to you today.

Hugs, Renee

Angie2U's picture
Angie2U
Posts: 2993
Joined: Sep 2009

Praying that it is scar tissue or anything other than cancer. And, you have a lot to live for, so, if the beast rears its ugly head again, you fight as hard as you can!

We are here to support you!

Hugs, Angie

mwallace1325's picture
mwallace1325
Posts: 806
Joined: Apr 2009

So sorry you're going thru this again. It's probably all of our worst fear, so I won't even tell you not to worry, just keep breathing. Like others here, I'm praying that it's scar tissue.

Anything we can do for you, just let us know.

marge

Angie2U's picture
Angie2U
Posts: 2993
Joined: Sep 2009

Praying for you!

Hugs, Angie

LoveBabyJesus's picture
LoveBabyJesus
Posts: 1650
Joined: Jan 2011

As long as you can fight, you should fight. Because we should choose "LIFE" as God wants us too. And remember that you're not fighting alone: God is with you, your family is with you, we are here too. We fight with you. We understand how frustrating this may be, but at the same time, if we are given another chance to live, then we should take it. And always be grateful. Things will be OK. And I pray it's B9 and you don't have to go through this again.

Good luck and let us know how everything goes.

God loves you.

csr771's picture
csr771
Posts: 112
Joined: Mar 2011

I am praying, that the lump is not bc---but if it is---YOU FIGHT. You fight because you have children that need their mother. They need to see your courage. They need to know that you love them enough to do what is necessary and that even though we have obstacles in life, you can't give up. Praying for good results.

renee616's picture
renee616
Posts: 181
Joined: Apr 2011

I agree with everyone else about the fight! Breast cancer has sort of taken over my life since November 2010......biggest issue with it is inconvenience, I get impatient and small things mostly annoy me, The heat right now, the wig, no eyebrows, watery eyes & make up not staying on! I quickly forget the other side effects. So Yes I personally would choose doing it over again, Not saying I wouldn't whine & complain at first! But just like the first time, for me there was only ONE choice....Living for myself, husband & kids, grand kids, parents, siblings! Like someone on an earlier post stated, I wanted to see My third child, my baby who's 17 graduate...that's happening Friday night! I went to her awards banquet. My Grandson graduated preschool, And My Son & DIL are expecting their first child, "A Girl" in Sept. I was afraid I might not see that....My Dad just had a triple bypass, so thankful I was able to help them through it. All the appointments are a royal pain sometimes....But so worth it. I have learned to never assume the worst, because it seldom is. Theres always hope! ALWAYS! I hope & pray that you have good results, but just in case, I hope & pray for you the strength, courage & grace to do what you need to do.
Renee

creampuff91344's picture
creampuff91344
Posts: 989
Joined: Nov 2008

Just wanted you to know that you are on my mind today, and to offer a little bit of hope. Today I had my six month mammogram (this time on just my left breast), and before the mammo I asked the radiologist to do a physical exam. as I had found a lump near the place of my previous incision for a lumpectomy. After reviewing the film, the lump turned out to be scar tissue. Just know that sometimes we worry before we need to worry. However, if it turns out to be a recurrence, although it would be tough, there is no such thing as giving up. We are all here for you, and are willing to be here as long as needed. Chin up, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers until this is resolved. In the meantime, take a deep breath, and go have some fun with the family.

Kylez's picture
Kylez
Posts: 3765
Joined: May 2009

Praying that this lump will be benign and you won't have to worry about this anymore. I am so sorry that you even have to have this scare.

Praying for you,

Kylez

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

Praying for you!

Hugs, Diane

survivorbc09
Posts: 4378
Joined: Jun 2009

Praying the lump isn't bc.

Hugs, Jan

sinee's picture
sinee
Posts: 197
Joined: May 2011

You found it~good job, not that any of us want to. But you found it, you did not pick this fight, this fight picked you. Don't jump to conclusions, it could be a lot of things. And do I think that a year and 5 months was worth everything you went through, yes I do. I think 5 months would of been worth it. If you don't think so, ask those children of yours. I know the love you have for them kept you going the first time, and if you have to go through it all again you will. My dear friend went through it 3 times and lived to be 70 so don't give up.
I was diagnosed with stage 4 this winter, the tumor shrunk so much during chemo they are still talking about me at the hospital. I am now stage 3, and will be starting radiation. Every time I pick up my grandchild, or hug my grown children is another hug that they wouldn't of gotten if I had given up when they said stage 4. I will keep fighting no matter what the results are, there are new tests and new things coming out all the time....we actually had one young woman in my group who wouldn't keep fighting because she didn't want to loose her hair, she stopped going for chemo and cancer won. Don't let that happen to you~you are a fighter, I can see it in your photo..stay positive, stay upbeat and kick cancer's butt! ok, ok, granny sinee, signing off.

Ritzy's picture
Ritzy
Posts: 4384
Joined: Aug 2009

You've got my prayers and I am crossing my fingers and toes too!

Sue :)

CAchick's picture
CAchick
Posts: 277
Joined: May 2011

Hi, I also had a double lumpectomy in 2009 (one in my right, one in my left). The right lump was benign, but the left one was IDC. I had chemo, radiation (=exhausted, sick, bald, the whole nine yards!). Then, last month, I found another lump in the left. I was like you in that I saw all that treatment and the tiredness, sickness, and even nosiness before me again....My onc didn't do any testing...I guess because my oncotype number was on the high side. He just sent me straight to the surgeon and they removed the darned thing! I had some tense days, but the biopsy=benign and the surgeon said it was scar tissue. YEAH!!
I am praying for a similar outcome for you. And, you are right, it is most certainly not fair, but we are warriors, and fighting is what we do! Hoping you can rest on this one, though... Sending hugs and prayers,
Sybil

cahjah75's picture
cahjah75
Posts: 2623
Joined: Jun 2010

because there are new treatments around the corner. If your onc says the cancer is back you need to fight it and win the battle once more. You are young and your children are worth going through the bc journey all over again. I wish you the best and hope the news is not bad.
{{hugs}} Char

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