Fears after treatment

stewy4421
stewy4421 Member Posts: 2
Hello,
I am 33 years old going through breast cancer. I am not going to lie. This stinks! I am done with treatment and thought for sure I'd be feeling great. I think everyone else in my family expects me to just bounce right back and forget everything that happened. I can't and it is so hard! Every day I am terrified that there are swarms of cancer running through my body and every ache and pain makes me feel this way. Everyone says this will get better with time. When will that be? Anyone have any good suggestions to deal with this? I want to look through a crystal ball and know exactly what my future holds. I just keep waiting for the next ball to drop. I just want it all to be back to normal again.

Comments

  • weazer
    weazer Member Posts: 440
    Your New Normal
    This is your new normal.
    I have the same anxiety and fears as much of us do.
    I beleave it will get better with time, but we will never be the way we were pryor to cancer.
    I am two years out from my dx and still have pains and of course the fear that the beast might come back, but I'm getting too the point, to live and let live.
    Spring is in the air which brings new birth, so try to keep your head up sister and if you ever need too talk your at the right place many BEAUTIFUL people hear.
    Lots Of Hugs Karie
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    weazer said:

    Your New Normal
    This is your new normal.
    I have the same anxiety and fears as much of us do.
    I beleave it will get better with time, but we will never be the way we were pryor to cancer.
    I am two years out from my dx and still have pains and of course the fear that the beast might come back, but I'm getting too the point, to live and let live.
    Spring is in the air which brings new birth, so try to keep your head up sister and if you ever need too talk your at the right place many BEAUTIFUL people hear.
    Lots Of Hugs Karie

    couldn't have put it any better
    Couldn't have put it any better than Karie did, except to add that some days are better than others and all we can do is hope that we keep stringing those good days together so there's more of those than the scary ones.

    I'm also 2 years out from dx and there are more good days than bad and I keep trying to remember that sometimes aches and pains are just that, especially at my age (57).

    Good luck and feel free to vent any time here.

    marge
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    I'm still in treatment, so I
    I'm still in treatment, so I don't have any advice for you. But I do have cyber hugs and some pretty powerful mojo that I'll send your way.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member

    I'm still in treatment, so I
    I'm still in treatment, so I don't have any advice for you. But I do have cyber hugs and some pretty powerful mojo that I'll send your way.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    Also 2 years out
    I'm also 2 years out from diagnosis ... and it truly is our new normal. While I am 67 years old ... I still think every little ache or pain or any feeling out of the ordinary ... I'm just sure "it" is back. But ... then I tell myself that I am OLD ... and it's probably just normal aging ... and I just have to learn to live with my paranoia. It is what it is. I go for my regular checkups and mammograms ... so I just have to try and relax ... and not panic. That's all any of us can do. But ... if it gets to the point where you are REALLY concerned about something ... call you doctor.

    Hugs.
    teena
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    Hope this helps
    Hi there. I was 33 when I was first diagnosed with IDC Stage 3A. I will be 58 this month!

    When does it get better? Everyone is different. If you stay busy physically, you will begin to forget about it until you are scheduled for your tests and then it will be hard again. It gradually got better for me, so that I would say by my 5 year mark, I didn't think of it often.

    Please remember though that this diagnosis takes a big toll on our mental health. We are at much higher risk for depression and anxiety. Your oncologist knows this and if you find you need an antidepressant (used to treat anxiety as well), talk with him/her first as some meds are not compatible with our treatment.

    See the study from the British Medical Journal below:

    Depression and anxiety in women with early breast cancer: five year observational cohort study
  • stewy4421
    stewy4421 Member Posts: 2
    Thank you everyone!!
    It's

    Thank you everyone!!
    It's nice to hear I am not the only one. I am just going to work on thinking about all the positives and go from there. Every day is another good day. Glad to hear that so many are doing so well!! Makes me feel better just knowing that. I keep telling myself I have to live my life and enjoy it. I don't want to waste it worrying about the what ifs in life. It's just way too short.
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    stewy4421 said:

    Thank you everyone!!
    It's

    Thank you everyone!!
    It's nice to hear I am not the only one. I am just going to work on thinking about all the positives and go from there. Every day is another good day. Glad to hear that so many are doing so well!! Makes me feel better just knowing that. I keep telling myself I have to live my life and enjoy it. I don't want to waste it worrying about the what ifs in life. It's just way too short.

    I know how you feel, Stewy
    I was diagnosed in Nov.'09. You're right--This disease does stink. Like some of the others--I have good days and bad days. Is it getting any better? Kinda--some days. I still find myself rolling my eyes when people around me fret about stupid, mundane things like a flat tire or a bad haircut or having a cold. I'm finding more than before diagnosis--the small things are just that--really small things. I don't seem to fret so much about the small things or the "bad" things that are happening in my life--comparatively speaking--they're not that bad.

    On the other hand--I'm getting more joy from the good things--a hug from my loving husband, a good talk with my wonderful son, a sunset, a beautiful flower. I try to focus on those things. This is my "new normal" like it or not. I'm trying to embrace it.

    Good luck to you on your journey, dear sister.

    Hugs, Renee
  • beetle25
    beetle25 Member Posts: 150 Member
    missrenee said:

    I know how you feel, Stewy
    I was diagnosed in Nov.'09. You're right--This disease does stink. Like some of the others--I have good days and bad days. Is it getting any better? Kinda--some days. I still find myself rolling my eyes when people around me fret about stupid, mundane things like a flat tire or a bad haircut or having a cold. I'm finding more than before diagnosis--the small things are just that--really small things. I don't seem to fret so much about the small things or the "bad" things that are happening in my life--comparatively speaking--they're not that bad.

    On the other hand--I'm getting more joy from the good things--a hug from my loving husband, a good talk with my wonderful son, a sunset, a beautiful flower. I try to focus on those things. This is my "new normal" like it or not. I'm trying to embrace it.

    Good luck to you on your journey, dear sister.

    Hugs, Renee

    Stewy; I know just how you
    Stewy; I know just how you feel, finished treatment in October and it seemed like once I finished everyone expects you to just go back to the way things once were and that just doesnt happen. I get tired more easily than I used to and then I get asked why are you so tired. Trying to find the new normal is hard, something that we all have to find and it seems that it is different for all of us. You tend to notice every little pain and wonder is it coming back, and then I remember I had those pains before the cancer. I have noticed that I do not sweat the small stuff as much, and I try to laugh alot more and am told that I do. Dont let thing bother me quite as much either, it just isnt worth it anymore. I just try to enjoy life and embrace everyday that God has blessed me with. Unfortunatelly we do not know what lies ahead of us but we just need to take each day as it comes. At least that is what I do. I have learned to dance in the rain instead of just waiting for the storm to pass.

    Hang in there, I am told as the days pass it gets a little easier. I know it will in time.

    ((((hugs))))
    beetle
  • Hippiechick58
    Hippiechick58 Member Posts: 320
    beetle25 said:

    Stewy; I know just how you
    Stewy; I know just how you feel, finished treatment in October and it seemed like once I finished everyone expects you to just go back to the way things once were and that just doesnt happen. I get tired more easily than I used to and then I get asked why are you so tired. Trying to find the new normal is hard, something that we all have to find and it seems that it is different for all of us. You tend to notice every little pain and wonder is it coming back, and then I remember I had those pains before the cancer. I have noticed that I do not sweat the small stuff as much, and I try to laugh alot more and am told that I do. Dont let thing bother me quite as much either, it just isnt worth it anymore. I just try to enjoy life and embrace everyday that God has blessed me with. Unfortunatelly we do not know what lies ahead of us but we just need to take each day as it comes. At least that is what I do. I have learned to dance in the rain instead of just waiting for the storm to pass.

    Hang in there, I am told as the days pass it gets a little easier. I know it will in time.

    ((((hugs))))
    beetle

    I keep telling myself I just
    I keep telling myself I just want to be "Normal" again. After hearing me say this for the umpteeenth time, my sister replied, " Normal? When were you ever normal?" I had a good laugh at that one! I guess we have to strive for as near as normal as we can get. I'm proud that I finished Chemo, now I have rads to go then reconstruction. Wheh! I think I'll take it a day at a time.

    Be Well,
    Dianne
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    sorry you are going through this...
    I really didnt' have this issue...but thought a suggestion of Journaling...would be of some help. SOMEONE gave me journal right away and then cancer center also...I ditn' think it would or did help...but some time after it all I LOOKED back through it and NOW I FEEL it was big help.

    I had surgery (3 yrs ago this month) & 8 wks radiation-I was lucky and worked full time, no side effects to speak of (did treatments on my lunch-since work was not so nice as they started out) anyhow

    HOW about therapist? I saw one on occassion at my cancer center..it helped (she even called my boss) and 3 yrs later I still stop in to see her when in the buidling for different doctor!
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member

    sorry you are going through this...
    I really didnt' have this issue...but thought a suggestion of Journaling...would be of some help. SOMEONE gave me journal right away and then cancer center also...I ditn' think it would or did help...but some time after it all I LOOKED back through it and NOW I FEEL it was big help.

    I had surgery (3 yrs ago this month) & 8 wks radiation-I was lucky and worked full time, no side effects to speak of (did treatments on my lunch-since work was not so nice as they started out) anyhow

    HOW about therapist? I saw one on occassion at my cancer center..it helped (she even called my boss) and 3 yrs later I still stop in to see her when in the buidling for different doctor!

    Journaling is a super idea.
    Journaling is a super idea. I wish I had done that.

    For me though, gardening works best. I have to be outside. I have semi-specialized in planting native plants (especially ones that provide for birds and wildlife). That makes my hobby all consuming ;-) as I really have to scrounge to find the exact plants that I want. I saved the most beautiful piece of spiderwort that was about to be bulldozed. I thought it was a goner, but now it is really thriving. It has the most vibrant blue flowers--much prettier than one I had mail ordered.

    You can see this is a passion for me. Find YOUR passion--it really helps. But, if it all gets to be too muc, please let your doctor know.

    And now, I have about 100 bedding plants and 2000 seeds to plant. I know I'm crazy Kindreds, but the weather is so lovely!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member

    Journaling is a super idea.
    Journaling is a super idea. I wish I had done that.

    For me though, gardening works best. I have to be outside. I have semi-specialized in planting native plants (especially ones that provide for birds and wildlife). That makes my hobby all consuming ;-) as I really have to scrounge to find the exact plants that I want. I saved the most beautiful piece of spiderwort that was about to be bulldozed. I thought it was a goner, but now it is really thriving. It has the most vibrant blue flowers--much prettier than one I had mail ordered.

    You can see this is a passion for me. Find YOUR passion--it really helps. But, if it all gets to be too muc, please let your doctor know.

    And now, I have about 100 bedding plants and 2000 seeds to plant. I know I'm crazy Kindreds, but the weather is so lovely!

    Cynthia@
    I kill anything with roots...so good thing I used my Journals....
  • janelle2011
    janelle2011 Member Posts: 21
    I can only imagine what
    I can only imagine what youre going through! I was dx 2/10/11 and have had one chemo treatment (2nd one Wednesday). Everyday I wonder if it's spread to my throat, lungs, liver, etc....finally I said....it doesn't matter....I'm doing aggressive treatment and it's going to kill it all! After I'm done, I'll have to remember that I did just kill it all! I hope I can, otherwise I'll drive myself crazy! LOL

    There are a lot of great suggestions here....Hang in there, sounds like it DOES get better!

    Hugs~