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Nicole41
Posts: 20
Joined: Feb 2011

I have joined this forum with the hope of connecting with others. Though my story is common in many ways, in one huge way, I feel isolated.......January 30, 2011 my life changed forever. A life without my parents or my only sibling, my older brother. All three had lung cancer. All three died from this disease -(dad 1/24/2001, brother - 11/14/2006 and mom 1/30/2011). Though I am married, I feel very alone. ? My memories which are supposed to comfort me, upset me. There is no one left from my immediate family. How is this possible at only 41 years old? I know there are people in worse situations, but I am devastated beyond belief. The nights are impossible, going to work is an effort. I can't sleep and seem to be eating through my emotions. I have purchased a couple of books to help, joined a support group and pray.I even started a blog on this site to help me sort out my emotions. Nothing is making this easier......I feel like I am in a dark, deep hole. I know I will never get over it, rather I will get through it. I just need to connect with others who understand what I am feeling.

Pennymac02's picture
Pennymac02
Posts: 336
Joined: Aug 2010

You're not alone. I lost my dad in 1998, my mom in 2009 and my husband six weeks ago, all to different cancers. I am working on what my therapist calls "kitchen sink" recovery. I take antidepressants, I go to support meetings, I've had friends over 3 times this week, I'm going back to work, I pray, and I am trying to rediscover myself and my interests after 18 months of non stop caregiving. None of it would be possible without my PCP prescribing an antidepressant. I was dragging myself out of bed and forcing myself to go thru some motions in September, when my therapist recommended I check with my doctor. The meds don't make me happy, but they have alleviated that feeling of being in that deep dark hole so I am able to function thru the grief and sadness. Please consider talking to your doctor about it. It really has helped me.
Penny

Nicole41
Posts: 20
Joined: Feb 2011

Thank you for your comments. It is a sad club we have been intiated into. I will look into talking to my doctor. I read some of your posts and will certainly keep you in my prayers. I am hoping to connect with many people here. Those around me are supportive, but cant ever fully grasp what I am feeling. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone.....Nicole(BEAUTIFUL picture of you and your husband!)

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