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The Reading Room: "Grief, Unedited" from NY Times

Hatshepsut's picture
Posts: 340
Joined: Nov 2006

This article about grief appeared in a recent edition of the NY Times. I thought it was interesting and decided to pass it along. I think it is pretty wonderful if fifty percent of the people who lose a spouse are able to resume their lives within six months. Alas, I'm in the group of "slow learners."


NY Times "Grief, Unedited"

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I think the operative word here is "acute" grief. Yes, I think most of us do find ways to move forward. I don't think we get over our losses within 6 months, though. As far as dating, etc., I have a number of older widows in our church that would refute that. But maybe we are all slow learners. Fay

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

Thank you for posting this article. Having lost my love of my life, husband of almost 30 yrs, I truly hope that I may be one of those that after 6 months, I may be able to get back to a life. A new life, I just don't see "resuming" my life, as we were so close that it is painful to think of doing the things that were our dreams without him!

I have begun to think, search and listen to my inner self, to see if there are things out there in the world that I may want to see, hear, taste, visit that are purely from a new desire. I adored my husband, and I will never forget everything I can possibly remember about him, but something inside me tells me that the memories are beautiful to hold in my heart, but I will have to get out there and make some more memories, new memories. If I try to live in those memories I will miss the rest of what could be a good life.

Still, easier said than done! But I know I must try.


Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

I agree that we need to define "acute" grief. I actually found the six month makr very difficult and had a setback around that time. Now at 8 months better but still hurting. Grieving is a very personal journey and I think very different for each individual. Dating? Can't even entertain the thought and don't see it in my futrue, but to each their own.

Hatshepsut's picture
Posts: 340
Joined: Nov 2006


For those who might be interested, here are the letters to the editor that the NY Times printed in response to the article " Grief Unedited." There are some interesting points of view expressed:

NY Times Letters to the Editor RE: "Grief Unedited"


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