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Cancer is where our fight should be....NOT GOD!!!

luvmylife's picture
luvmylife
Posts: 80
Joined: Jun 2010

We should be focusing on how to demolish this damn disease not censor God. Taking prayer out of this board is wrong!!!!

Kenny H.'s picture
Kenny H.
Posts: 503
Joined: Aug 2010

X2!...

fightingcancer2011's picture
fightingcancer2011
Posts: 14
Joined: Feb 2011

I agree with you for God helps me daily in my fight.

Patrick

luvmylife's picture
luvmylife
Posts: 80
Joined: Jun 2010

Patrick - I don't know where I would be without my faith. I grew up in Derry, Northern Ireland where I saw a lot of religious suppression and I never want to live in that type of society again. I thank my grandmother and parents everyday for my faith and I will not allow it to be suppressed, especially on a cancer website.

God Bless,

Jan

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4673
Joined: May 2005

So let's talk about cancer then.

luvmylife's picture
luvmylife
Posts: 80
Joined: Jun 2010

Yes we can talk about cancer but we can also ask for prayers if we need and want them for guidance to beat this damn disease.

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4673
Joined: May 2005

then we can't just talk about cancer after all.

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

Churchill dixit.

dasspears
Posts: 233
Joined: Feb 2009

This a cancer board? Who knew?

fightingcancer2011's picture
fightingcancer2011
Posts: 14
Joined: Feb 2011

I totally agree with you that this website is for talking about cancer but we must be allowed to ask for or give prayers when needed. I guess I'm just wondering why this is such a big deal. It seems like people on here are affraid to mention God. Why?? Growing up in Northern Ireland you must be Catholic or Protestant although I believe there are less Catholic's.

luvmylife's picture
luvmylife
Posts: 80
Joined: Jun 2010

Hi Patrick,

It is nice to talk to you, I'm sorry we had to meet here. I am Catholic but I have many friends and family members who are Protestant, Jewish and Muslim and ones who do not practice anything. I have been a mammo and ct tech for 26 yrs and have seen many new cancer diagnosis in my pt's and God is a big part of their cancer fight and he is a big part of our fight against my husband, Jimmy's, cancer. I really don't know why it is such a big deal to ask for prayers. This debate is so sad. I don't see how anyone can be offended and if they are then just ignore the posts that ask for prayer. I also think it's sad that people are uncomfortable with this issue.

God Bless you,

Jan

fightingcancer2011's picture
fightingcancer2011
Posts: 14
Joined: Feb 2011

It's nice to see you are so strong in your will for God. As a Catholic myself I know it is our duty to always praise God. I am sorry to hear about your husband Jimmy I pray that he is doing well. I too am Irish well I am not from Ireland but my Great grandparents where both from the Emerald Isle.... My parents always taught us God first above all and that includes cancer and I will always put my love for God above cancer, it will not defeat me.

God Bless you my Irish Sister in Christ,
Patrick

FYI as a Catholic did you know there is a Saint just for cancer?

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 2930
Joined: May 2009

I don't understand why you have to post on the prayer board. You were and are always against prayer in the colon board, and yet now you want to change the prayer board to suit your needs. I found it quite amusing that you had to be the first to post on this board when it was created, now, you just have me at a loss!

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4673
Joined: May 2005

Well, it's not a prayer board/forum for starters. Why on earth would you even draw that conclusion? I enjoy spirituality and comparative religion, that's why I post there. Just because I am against prayer on the colon cancer forum (and always will be) does not mean I am against it in a religion forum. I found it a great place to post questions about what people think may happen after we die, or if cancer's been all bad for you, and other issues that we face having dealt with cancer and to listen to and respond to interesting questions that other members have posted.

I thought that having a religion/mediation/spirituality forum might help with the never-ending arguments that arise on here about religion. I thought, and still think, it's a great forum. Why is it so difficult for people to NOT post their beliefs in the colon cancer forum? I don't see everyone posting their sexual preference. Maybe because it's not relevant to their cancer? Somehow we seem to have managed (mostly) to keep politics out of the forum but I have little doubt that it would divide along the same line as the religion issue does.

fightingcancer2011's picture
fightingcancer2011
Posts: 14
Joined: Feb 2011

Phil I think what Nana and others is trying to say is that it's ok to use the word God and to ask for or offer prayers. To say why don't people post sexual preference on the colon site is silly. People do not believe or pray to a sexual preference they pray to God, Allah, Buddha or any other higher spirit in which they believe in. As a Christian I believe that God is helping me fight cancer not my sexual orientation. But I am not going to go down that road for what I have been reading talking about God is a NO,NO here and that's not why I am here. I love God above all else but for me this site is to learn how to beat cancer and yes it will be with God's help for me personally. If I want to talk about God I will go over to the Prayer thread and do it there but I will offer prayer to anyone who ask for it.

Patrick

OGammy01
Posts: 67
Joined: Oct 2010

Well said!

Diane

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

those who are offended with those who try to impose their believes ,those who insistently give more importance to religion matters than cancer matters here, those who say that only God our lord will save you from cancer, those who preach more than suggest about how to feel well dealing with cancer or side effects! Honestly I don't like that at all!BUT,I can't understand that anybody gets offended for prayers! prayers sometimes are the only thing we have to offer to you , and we offer it with good faith , affection, believing that it will help you, that,s what we believe and we offer to you from the bottom of our harts.Along this months, I have seen desperate people ,searching for solutions, some time desperate solutions that probably won't work and they knew it, but they were desperate and in that situation anything is a window of hope!So why to refuse somebody,s prayers ?.
Probably will not work too, but I believe more in prayers than in the leg of a rabbit on in the theory of a which in the middle of manhattan! Why to refuse it? Just accept it maybe it works!.LOL..
Pepe ( low intensity Catholic). LOL.
Just let me know if We are going to be tolerant, otherwise tomorrow some body cut be offended about jokes, and the day after tomorrow probably some body will censure my Friday weekend plan! So be careful , where is the limit?

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3663
Joined: Jul 2008

"...I don't see everyone posting their sexual preference. Maybe because it's not relevant to their cancer?" Your sentence there hit the nail on the head, Phil. (referring to the fact that CSN has separate boards for gays and lesbians with cancer, but their sexual preference issues don't get discussed on the main board like spiritual issues do). The reason why it's so difficult for many people to not post their beliefs in the colon cancer forum is because their beliefs ARE relevant to their cancer & how they cope with cancer.
Your argumentative viewpoints in the past have been the very reason why I do not feel comfortable posting about my Christian faith on the spirituality board. I was excited when it was first formed, but the fact that a few people who seem very openly hostile to Christians are among the most active on that board- I don't need that stress and combativeness. I don't want somewhere to go debate, I want somewhere to share feelings, belief, and prayers, which is VERY relevant to my cancer- it is how I cope. So I stay off the spirituality board because it does not meet my spirituality need. I'm not saying it needs to change because I know some people want to discuss and/or debate it all and are of various different beliefs. But that's not me. So to say that people asking for prayer should take it to the spirituality board really doesn't work- I don't think it would work that way very well. Maybe it does, as I haven't checked the spirituality board out lately, but as I said there before, I did not feel comfortable there and did not feel a lot of people there who believed the same as I do.

Ok- I said I wasn't going to get drawn into this explosion this time, but I guess I just did because it really upsets me seeing you post little jabs here and there. It's not that you're kindly pointing something out- you have a hostile tone about it all. This does not help people's cancer- it just adds stress and ends up having people leave the board.
I'm sad about it all that it was brought to the forefront again. I realize many of the recent postings have been quite religiously explicit and I am not defending all of what was posted (I actually missed some, as apparently lots was posted and then got pulled, which I never saw all of)- BUT people sharing who they are and asking for prayer is therapeutic and can be about cancer, if it's talked about in that manner. (not preaching, as I know was much of the recent problem, but to ask people to no longer mention prayer- well, that's a selfish request. As I said before, I will only mention praying for someone if they ask for it or if I know they have similar beliefs as I do in that area. That should NOT be banned, if it has been- that is what I'm not sure of- I think I missed a few posts on what ACTUALLY was said or requested of CSN board members in the future.
Lisa

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 2930
Joined: May 2009

One, two, or evennthree people can't run this board! Well said Pat and Lisa.

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

I have yet to see a request for thoughts and prayers cause a post to be flagged or pulled, but there are some who see ther role as that of preacher or evangelist and try repeatedly to become the boards own Jimmy Swaggert. In this last round, the one who started it told Winter Marie she was going to hell and that he had a book that proved it!

Would you approve of members of the Westboro Baptists spouting their religious hate here?

This is not a fight about silencing god, rather it is a fight to prevent zealots from driving out everyone who does not agree with them, all in the name of victimhood.

Their are rules and codes of conduct to prevent this kind of takeover, and to leave this board open for all, regardless of belief.

Hatshepsut's picture
Hatshepsut
Posts: 340
Joined: Nov 2006

Buckwirth:

Thank you for your post.

I haven't posted here for a while but I do check in from time to time because I want to celebrate the health victories of people on this board and because I want to support those whose health is in jeopardy. I am forever grateful to those who helped and supported my husband and me when my husband was desperately ill.

I came to this board several years ago because I needed information about medical treatment for my husband's stage four colon cancer. At its best, this board offered me a wealth of medical information, uplifting stories about personal battles with this miserable disease and genuine kindness. At the same time, I would be dishonest not to say that the need by some on this board to proselytize often made me feel uncomfortable and an outsider---the last thing I needed as I watched my husband lose his battle. At one particularly low point, I remember one particular post where the poster cautioned me to be careful of my words in opposition to proselytizing on this board because the poster warned that God might hear my post. I took that to mean (by implication) that the poster's God might worsen my husband's health or mine. I will never forget nor will I forgive the cruelty of that particular post.

I believe in free speech. I oppose censorship. But, I also believe that people of good will should measure the effect of their words. My religion is kindness.

Hatshepsut

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

While I have never really been an IT specialist, I was president of a computer club in 1980, and have always enjoyed gadgets and what can be done with them.

Boards like CSN are not a free speech zone, nor should they be if we actually want to keep them on topic and pertinent. It only takes one troll to move a board off topic, and a couple of them, left unchecked, will destroy all of the comradarie ever earned in this shared battle.

If you want to discuss politics there are thousands of places to go and do that, if you want to explain that only some deity can actually cure your disease, there are hundreds of places to go and do that.

If however, you want help with your cancer, well, CSN is a voice in the wilderness, open to all who are civil and can follow a few rules that aid in that civility. It is a secular place, and you will be greeted with open arms, regardless of age, sex, religion or politics. It can be this BECAUSE it has a restricted mission with restricted speech. Learn it, love it, and know that those who wish to change it do so at YOUR peril.

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4673
Joined: May 2005

I think you have summed things up nicely in your posts.
I won't parrot what you said, you hit on the main point of all of this I think.
-phil

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

I just wanted to say that you have been missed BIG time. After the last Religion Flamewar in here back in 2009(?) I had enough of the one or two leopards and their changing accounts (their spots never changed and they didn't seem to understand that) so I left. I must admit, when it happened today and the leopards showed up in new accounts, but not clever enough to cover their spots, I actually thought it was funny and sad at the same time. Sad that an adult has to pull that trick on a support board just to get attention. But I came back to the board because of you and some of the other gems in this forum. I was so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. I realize there's not much need for you to come back and it may even be painful or bring back painful memories.... but you know we would LOVE to have you hang out here. I just love reading your posts!!

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

AnneCan
Posts: 3693
Joined: Oct 2009

reading them too!

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4673
Joined: May 2005

:-)

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2060
Joined: Oct 2009

I was on line late last night and witnessed what went on in here. It has been on my mind all day long, thank you for putting the whole episode into words, much kinder words than were used last night. CSN pulled it later or early this morning, thank goodness, so the rest of the board did not have to read it.

Tina

Lilmiss82's picture
Lilmiss82
Posts: 253
Joined: Dec 2009

I think I am the youngest one on this board and hope I do not offend some with my opinion but I thought it was rather childish. I am a religious person, was sent to private school since kindergarten 'til high school, and was taught many things regarding my faith but one that stuck out in particular is my free will, therefore I stayed out of it. If I don't like what one has to say about my faith I don't care that their issue, I do not have to prove myself to anyone or anything.I'll just move on to the next post. Some people were outright mean and very condescending. As an adult and a decent human being that's just unnecessary. I will do whatever in my power to be here for those that need or what my help in whatever way you see fit. -Melissa

dasspears
Posts: 233
Joined: Feb 2009

You hit the nail on the head. Just as some are glad to see God mentioned, some are not. Does no one care about offending them? I'm tired of the "I'm Christian and I'm being persecuted" syndrome.

Ciaran
Posts: 8
Joined: Jan 2011

Okay I will admit TL:DR a tad. Got about half way down the thread and gave up.

I too am a Catholic from Derry. Saying that however, I consider myself to be agnostic at best.

I have been lurking on this board for a while now, and I will be honest that lines such as "God has a plan" etc... I personally don't agree with. As I simply don't believe that any deity would be cruel enough to inflict a disease of this nature on anyone. Sometimes I read the long threads about "god having a plan", "the doctors don't know everything, have faith in god", "only faith in god will save you" etc.... and I do find myself wanting to object. At times I find myself wanting to scream at those threads and argue with the blind and absolute faith that they exhibit. I don't wish to be preached to, I want someone to save the people I hold dear and save the sermons for someone with faith. I am a man rooted in science and fact, i have faith in medicine and the years of development put into it and it is medicine that I hope will save my beloved.

However when i divorce myself from my anger and analyze why I am angry with these people, it is not really to do with them or their faith. These people are scared too and searching for hope as much as I am. In my heart of heart's I know this and I then have to acknowledge that I am terrified about what is happening in my life and I am jealous that these people can gain solace in something which is just too distant from me to engage in. My anger is a dark and ugly emotion born from envy and hopelessness. It is the yearning to be comforted while knowing that nothing can truly comfort me and I envy those people their faith and the peace they gain from it. Their words of kindness don't salve my pain, as I simply don't believe in the same things they do.

If you are an atheist on this board, ask yourself the one question that i ask myself all the time, what right do you have to prevent people from seeking solace in the way that calls to them most? If someone could tell me that their is a father figure that will help us bear through the hard times and if things come to the worst will take us by the hand to paradise. To not be scared of our loved ones passing but to rejoice because their pain has ended. If I could truly believe that, I would be more thankful than I could ever describe on this board.

The people here, from what I can tell, differ greatly but we are similar in certain ways. We are all scared of what it is either we or a loved one are going through and thus we come here for a safe environment to express those fears, look for hope and in some cases simply a desire to find comfort in others who understand personally what we are going through.

This is not simply a medical science board. This is a network of people, drawn together by common calamities in our lives. Many of us are at our lowest ebb and many of us feel lost. This board can provide hope, direction and support.

For many people an essential part of that hope and support is religious in nature. Their faith gets them through. Those of us here are united by something that no one should have to cope with. We have little in common on the surface but beneath that we all have the same deep understanding of what it is to see death and fight tooth and nail to beat it. It is therefore beyond me why anyone here would object to people finding solace in faith and offering that same solace to others. We are different in many ways, but we come here to offer hope, comfort and solace. Some of us can do that through lending a caring ear, some through offering advice about treatments and some can offer prayers and good wishes.

I lost my father to cancer when I was 16, my best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last year and my partner (and husband to be if he will take me) was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 3 weeks ago. I am only 29 and within the next 2 years cancer will probably be responsible for taking away the only 3 men I have ever loved. If people here can offer me hope when i am lost in despair, support when i feel i cant go on and prayers and good wishes if nothing more can be done. Then the people here will have been true friends to me and I will cherish my time here with them, regardless of if I share their faith or not.

I am not a religious man, but I respect the people on this board. I respect the strength and courage many show in the face of massive odds. I respect their ability to keep going when deep down you only want to hide and most of all I respect their faith. Their faith in each other, their faith in those they love and, for some, their faith in a greater power.

We are united here in our darkest hour, none of us should wish too, let alone try, to rob anyone here from what brings them hope and lightens that darkness.

I hasten to add, that I do not condone preaching on any forum. A prayer said is a fine thing as good wishes are noble, (and who knows, maybe religions are right, thus I'm glad someone is kind enough to cover all the bases for me, when i can't). Ranting at people however, that they have to believe in Christ to be saved, is quite different and something that no one needs on this board. Be they religious or not, no one needs to be told that faith alone will save them, as the suggestion their is always that one didn't have enough faith if this vile illness beats them. It attaches a degree of personal blame to the individual in connection with something which is essentially blameless and personally I find these comments more accusatory than comforting.

So in conclusion, I am all for people offering medical advice, a kind word or prayers for the people I love. It is all welcome and it is why I come to this site.

May you be happy and well and for those with faith, may your god be with you.

Ciarán

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3402
Joined: Apr 2010

I see you've been lurking for six days, not quite the "while" that you might think, although when religion gets in the mix, it might seem a lifetime.
You seem to be seeking, seeking something to believe in, concerning we, who believe in a God, your words: "I then have to acknowledge that I am terrified about what is happening in my life and I am jealous that these people can gain solace in something which is just too distant from me to engage in. My anger is a dark and ugly emotion born from envy and hopelessness. It is the yearning to be comforted while knowing that nothing can truly comfort me and I envy those people their faith and the peace they gain from it."
CSN does have the spiritual board for you to try, and may I suggest, perhaps you might wish to try churches in your area.
All we can give you on the colon board are our simple words, our caring, our love, our heartfelt wishes for the very best for you. The "Father Figure" you envied, will not be found here, I'm sorry for that. But it is what it is.
If we can help you with advise in your cancer journey, feel free to ask, I am amiss in much of the common chemo's, but many, many here are very experienced. We can only offer you our experiences, our opinions, in hopes that perhaps it will give you some bit of knowledge that we can pass on.
My best wishes in finding that which you seek.
Winter Marie

Ciaran
Posts: 8
Joined: Jan 2011

I've only been a member here for 6 days, but I have been lurking on these boards for over a year now.

As for religion. I am a happily lapsed catholic. I was very religious once, (even went to seminary to be a priest), but those days are far behind me.

I just acknowledge that faith was a great comfort to me at one point and at time's like this it is something I miss. Alas I can't reclaim that faith just for comfort. Genuine faith is born from something other than desperation and that none-defined thing just isn't in me anymore.

I thought it was important to post, as I'm a token agnostic, verging on atheist, who at least acknowledges the importance and power that faith can have in some people's lives. So I can kinda see both sides of the argument. (however that's obviously from a very subjective viewpoint and in no way do i mean to imply that anyone else who self defines as atheist or agnostic, envies people of faith, that's just a personal thing.)

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

We don't court a defined scenario of people on here, we tend to the whole flock, all of us. Peoples religious beliefs, or non religious beliefs, sexual preferences, race, whatever the case, it makes no difference here for the largest percentage anyway. We only hope that all who come here will either stick around long enough to find what they need here to get them through, or come and stay and use their gifts of gab to settle the unsettled, and calm the lost ...yes, sometimes it gets unruly but all families get that way ...and yes debates become defends and then there they go again, but when all else is out of the equation then you see the troops rally for someone down, thats whats really important here, not religion, not sexual preference, nor race but a love for the person next to you that goes through the same emotions we do, or that caregiver that has no clue what to do for his or her lifetime partner that they dearly love but feel helpless in all of this....thats why I am here, thats why Winter Marie, and Nana b, and Lisa42, and all the rest of the people that stay here are here for. Not only to be helpful to others, but it also gives us a special purpose and a reason to keep fighting for our lives. It gives us a purpose, and without a purpose, whats the use......We don't care the scenario you carry, or the purpose of your intentions here, all we care about is making sure that you get what your looking for here, and hope that this site brings you the contentment you search for........Buzz

7hallbergs
Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2011

This was very well-put! I am religious, I do believe in Jesus Christ as my savior, I did join any site for the purpose of badgering anyone or telling them what they should do or feel. I am thankful that I am allowed and able to express my faith just like anyone else here

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1232
Joined: Oct 2010

This is what I want to know. I joined this board because it was made of a group of people with similar circumstances, not that we are all exact in out situations. We have certain similarities. I had an iliostomy, but don't any longer. TMac52 has a colostomy for life. Nanab has been out of treatment for months. Winter Marie just went through major surgery. We all have our differences. We have different lifestyles, different healings, different Doctors, different treatments, and different beliefs that help us through our cancer treatment process. I don't see anyone telling me I don't belong because my recovery is different. I don't know if my cancer will be gone after chemo or if it will come back. Somedays I pray I pray I will never have to deal with it again, others I curse the disease for being a part of my life. We are not here to judge others or to persecute their beliefs. It's just not our job to monitor how others get by from day to day. It is polite to not push our beliefs onto others whether that is religious or none.............so I am wondering if we can all agree that Bambi hit it right on the target with "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say nothin' at all".

Just me being me, Gail

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

I totally agree with you, we have bigger things to fight than each other - cancer demands our entire energies and if people feel that God helps them then who the heck are others to argue with that? I am ashamed of people on this board who lash out at others for belief systems that help to get them through their journey with cancer. Horrible.

Thanks for your post Gail WELL SAID.

Blessings Gail,

Bluerose

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