Funny Joke....... Adults only

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idlehunters
idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
A man is sitting in a bar. An attractive "older" woman comes in and takes a seat. He normally does not mingle with women this age but she is very good looking..so he says..why not? He joins her, buys her a drink and they begin a conversation. After a while, they woman asks if he is into mother/daughter 3sums...... whoa, he never has but thinks if Mom is this good looking the daughter must be a knock out!!!! Sure...he says. So the two leave the bar together and head to her house. They embrace and kiss at the door, she turns...opens the door and flips on the light as they walk in. Then she turns to the stairs and yells "MOM...GET UP!" LOL....

Jennie

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  • newbee
    newbee Member Posts: 17
    #2
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    LOLOL

    LOLOL
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #3
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    Cute
    That was really cute.

    Kim
  • mom_2_3
    mom_2_3 Member Posts: 953 Member
    #4
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    Funny
    That was funny. Will definitely re-tell that one....
  • Kenny H.
    Kenny H. Member Posts: 502 Member
    #5
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    mom_2_3 said:

    Funny
    That was funny. Will definitely re-tell that one....

    LOL. shuda stopped while he
    LOL. shuda stopped while he was ahead!
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #6
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    Kenny H. said:

    LOL. shuda stopped while he
    LOL. shuda stopped while he was ahead!

    Kenny -
    A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

    But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.

    Swoooop! A torso popped out!

    The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.

    Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

    The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.

    By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.

    Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

    The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.

    The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said: "He should have quit while he was a head."
  • Kerry S
    Kerry S Member Posts: 606 Member
    #7
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    Greta would kill me
    There once was a woman from Sidney who could === No -- Greta would kill me and I can’t play the Keppra card or the brain tumor card with her!!!!!

    Kerry ( old guy that won’t mess with Greta )
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #8
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    That is a cute one, Jennie!

    That is a cute one, Jennie!
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #9
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    John23 said:

    Kenny -
    A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

    But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.

    Swoooop! A torso popped out!

    The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.

    Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

    The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.

    By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.

    Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

    The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.

    The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said: "He should have quit while he was a head."

    Good one, John!

    Good one, John!
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #10
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    Too funny
    Ha!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    #11
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    AnneCan said:

    Good one, John!

    Good one, John!

    john, maybe you should stop while your a head
    i love all these jokes, the threesome just won by ahead
    thanks,
    pete
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    #12
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    AnneCan said:

    Good one, John!

    Good one, John!

    john, maybe you should stop while your a head
    i love all these jokes, the threesome just won by ahead
    thanks,
    pete
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    #13
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    lol
    Thanks Jennie. I am sitting here as **** gets his scans. It is always good to have a little humor at this time.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
    #14
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    Kathleen808 said:

    lol
    Thanks Jennie. I am sitting here as **** gets his scans. It is always good to have a little humor at this time.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Three women walk into a bar and see this well-built guy,perfect
    in every way but a tiny head on his shoulders.After staring at him for awhile, they finally approach and question him about that tiny head of his. "Well," he replied,"years ago I was walking along a beach when I found this odd-shaped bottle out of which emerged a genie.This genie granted me three wishes. I didn't believe this so at first I said I wish I were on a beautiful island in the Pacific and snap,there I was. I couldn't believe this so I said :How about some beautiful women? And, snap, there they were. Then I blurted out:How about a little head?"

    Whoops......
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    #15
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    coloCan said:

    Three women walk into a bar and see this well-built guy,perfect
    in every way but a tiny head on his shoulders.After staring at him for awhile, they finally approach and question him about that tiny head of his. "Well," he replied,"years ago I was walking along a beach when I found this odd-shaped bottle out of which emerged a genie.This genie granted me three wishes. I didn't believe this so at first I said I wish I were on a beautiful island in the Pacific and snap,there I was. I couldn't believe this so I said :How about some beautiful women? And, snap, there they were. Then I blurted out:How about a little head?"

    Whoops......

    lol
    lol
  • just4Brooks
    just4Brooks Member Posts: 980 Member
    #16
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    LOLThanks... I needed that tonight
    Brooks
  • believeit 2011
    believeit 2011 Member Posts: 36
    #17
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    Kathleen808 said:

    lol
    lol

    Bathroom humor, how relevant
    A drunk gentleman stumbles into the confessional at the local church and the priest hears the door close. The man remains silent as the priest hears him fidgiting around and breathing heavy. The priest knows many people get nervous at confession and waits a few minutes for the man to get up his nerve. A few more minutes pass and the priest figures he'll initiate contact so he loudly clears his throat with an "Eh hem". A few seconds pass then the drunk replies, with slurred speech, "sorry buddy you're outta luck, there aint no TP in here either"...
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member
    #18
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    just4Brooks said:

    LOLThanks... I needed that tonight
    Brooks

    What great follow up!!!!!!!!!
    Man..... You guys are funny!!! Great jokes..... little head..LOLOLOLOLOL...

    Jennie
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    #19
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    I got one
    A cowboy was sitting at a bar, when a young lady walks up and ask, are you a real cowboy, the man replied yes I am, the young lady asked how do you know your a real cowboy, the man replied, well I get up in the morning, I work on a ranch, I work with horses and cows, I mend fences, so yeah I am a real cowboy. THen the cowboy ask the young lady what are you, the young lady replies I am a lesbian, the cowboy says how do you know your a real lesbian, the young lady says, well I wake up thinking of Pu%%y, I think of women all day long and I love being with them, the cowboy tipped his hat and the young lady walked away. A few minutes later a young man approaches the cowboy and asks Hey are you a real cowboy, and the cowboy replies, well all my life I thought I was but now I am realizing I am a lesbian.
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member
    #20
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    dorookie said:

    I got one
    A cowboy was sitting at a bar, when a young lady walks up and ask, are you a real cowboy, the man replied yes I am, the young lady asked how do you know your a real cowboy, the man replied, well I get up in the morning, I work on a ranch, I work with horses and cows, I mend fences, so yeah I am a real cowboy. THen the cowboy ask the young lady what are you, the young lady replies I am a lesbian, the cowboy says how do you know your a real lesbian, the young lady says, well I wake up thinking of Pu%%y, I think of women all day long and I love being with them, the cowboy tipped his hat and the young lady walked away. A few minutes later a young man approaches the cowboy and asks Hey are you a real cowboy, and the cowboy replies, well all my life I thought I was but now I am realizing I am a lesbian.

    LOL..
    Oh Beth...... That was really a good one. Laughed my butt off!!!

    Jen

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