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Mental Torture
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Dec 28, 2010 - 9:59 am
Each morning begins the same for me, wake up from a restless sleep with butterflies in my stomach. Hard to describe exactly, but the nervousness you get going to the dentist or being pulled over by the police, if that makes any sense. Every day begins the same, mentally drained before the day gets started good. Guess that's what happens when you go to sleep pissed off and wake up the same way. It's killing me knowing there's not a damned thing I can do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamit ....then shame for being so angry when I consider / try to imagine what her thoughts must be like. Life is very frustrating when you can't laugh or cry. V~V |
Joined: Aug 2010
Are you psychic or something? You posted my exact feelings.
Joined: Sep 2010
You posted my thoughts too !!
Joined: Aug 2009
I took care of Mom most of December, and last week before I left I realized that I might not see her again, and if I did, she might not be herself anymore (we live 750 miles apart). It made me think of a song (Bruce Cockburn?) that asks "If it were the last night of the world, what would you do different?" I decided to make real hot chocolate, with good milk and cocoa served in cups and saucers,and sit quietly with Mom and sip it together. In nearly two years of caregiving, it may have been the best decision I ever made.
Mom is doing all right, all things considered, and I'll be going back soon, but I thought my hot chocolate story might soothe the hurt going down in this thread. Ya'll take care. All of this is temporary.
Joined: Nov 2010
glad to know I'm not the only one. it's hard to explain how you wake up already feeling tired. and that never ending knot in your stomach.
debbie