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cancer as a punishment I was told

survivor31's picture
survivor31
Posts: 72
Joined: Apr 2010

hi all i hope all is well I just came from trying to go out to eat with some of my family members and the topic of my cancer of course comes up my aunt said she beleived that I did something wrong to make God give me cancer I was shocked and upset over this comment for I know this is not true she says it was a punishment for something ive done and I need to look back over my life and see what it was, why god would do this, this is comeing from a lady that says she is a christian im upset over it but if I can fight cancer and beat it I refuse to be defeated by her words or oppion ive feelt and heard worser than that with my cancer battle this should be nothing but it dose hurt. as long as I know im in Gods hands thats all that matter God bless u all

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8058
Joined: Sep 2009

Sometimes people just don't think about what they say.

I'm sure that someone whom thinks that way, there is not a lot that you can say to argue your point. At least not anything that will change their opinions....sometimes you just have to consider the source.

You know it's not true, we know it's not true, ....that's all that matters.

Just concentrate on positive thoughts, and surrond yourself with positive people.

You will definitely come out a better person than you were going in to this oreal.

Best and God Bless,
John

survivor31's picture
survivor31
Posts: 72
Joined: Apr 2010

thanks john you are so right

train-nut
Posts: 101
Joined: Jun 2008

With all due respect to your aunt, she is wrong. God did not give us this disease to punish us. Please continue to concentrate on gaining your health back. When I was diagnosed I was told something similar to what you were and it angers me just to think of it. It made me all the more determined to beat the cancer...hope you have the same reaction. Too bad we can't pick our family. I wish you the best of health, Rich

luv4lacrosse's picture
luv4lacrosse
Posts: 1376
Joined: Jul 2010

Wow, the crap that seems to flow from the mouths of others. Maybe the people that say this stuff are actually feeling a little guilty about the way they live their own lives. We all know people who have smoked 2-3 packs of Cigs for 40 years and totally abused their bodies and no cancer, no liver cirosis, ETC. I have even commented privately about people I know who I felt "why me and not them". I believe the answer is completely unknown and at any given time, any individual on this planet can become terminally ill for an unknown reason.

I will admit the time(s) I may have thought about "you deserve it" is when I am in the same waiting room as someone else in line to get their daily dose of Rads, and then I see them in the parking garage "hot boxing marlboros two at a time."

Of course you can have bad habits than can assist in an illness, but explaing the pro athlete who does everything right and drops dead on the field.

In short, we cannot fix stupid!!

have a great evening all!!

Mike

alwaysforhim
Posts: 14
Joined: Jul 2010

I know that had to be painful to hear, but totally untrue. The Lord is not punishing you, he is giving you a mission, which I'm sure you will exceed in. If anything, during our trial my spouse and I have become more aware. We are learning to love our time together and adore our children and grandchildren. The only lesson the Lord has taught me is to be Thankful for the Life he gave us.

survivor31's picture
survivor31
Posts: 72
Joined: Apr 2010

alaways. thats right also im learning to appreciate life more scince going through this it has made me not take things for granted, God bless you both

Noellesmom
Posts: 1278
Joined: Aug 2010

And give her a piece of my mind.

Survivor31, in no way are you being punished.

First of all, Christians are called to be Christ-like and I see nothing of that in her comments to you.

Second, Sweetie, the day will come when your aunt will have some illness - sure would like to hear her take on it at that time.

Third, wonder what she things four-year olds are being punished for when they are diagnosed with cancer? Sheesh.

Next time you have a family dinner - please don't invite her! You don't need to be around people like her whether you have cancer or not!

team stevens
Posts: 46
Joined: Sep 2010

It's obvious you are a woman of faith, so stand firm on it. you have to make sure you cover yourself in prayer daily. mike & i say a prayer every morning to cancel all harmful words, prayers & even looks. sometimes it's the people closest to you that can't handle what we're going through. Just remember that God has a plan for your life & nothing anyone says can change that.
love & prayers

fisrpotpe's picture
fisrpotpe
Posts: 1322
Joined: Aug 2010

I have heard this, absorbed this and let it go. Our God does not to hurt anyone! Give him praise for helping you win you fight, Your Aunt is wrong for saying this. Just let it go you will be a better person for it.

If you dwell on it, it will hurt. With your positive attitude you will not be dwelling.

Keep that smile going!

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3230
Joined: Jan 2010

Some of my relatives seem to suffer from diahreha of the mouth too. I'm sorry that she said that to you. That is very awful thing to say to someone. As the others said it's so untrue. I was born with a rare genetic blood disorder. What did I do at conception that God punished me?? I used to ignore the stupid comments people make but you know over this last year I've been speaking up a little more and letting them know I don't appreciate their comments.

Pam M's picture
Pam M
Posts: 2194
Joined: Nov 2009

Wow - your aunt was a real lulu with that "punishment" comment. You could tell her that we can't pretend to know why some things happen. If you were "given" cancer by God, maybe it was as part of the "big plan", maybe it's vitally important that someone see you succeed in your battle, and be inspired by you. Maybe the experiences you've gained will help you with things you need to do in the future. And that's why he "gave" you the disease. Like Skiffen said, though - I doubt she'd listen.

One saying I love is "This is a case of mind over matter. The people who mind don't matter, and the folks who matter don't mind." Keep doing well.

Pumakitty's picture
Pumakitty
Posts: 653
Joined: Mar 2010

Please know how false this is. You are a beutiful person, who got a horrible diease.
I has a coworker who use to say that until her husband got kidney cancer. I believe she quickly learned how hurtful it is to say stupid things. I don't think people put any thought in to what they say.

Kathy

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5648
Joined: Apr 2009

She needs to read her Bible if she is saying she is a Christian look this is Jesus speaking John 9: 1-3

1: And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.2: And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? 3: Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

The works of God are being made manifest in you and he will make you perfect for his will to be done. Don’t let people who pretend to be Christ like give you negative feeling about your self, you are a child of God and he love you and died for you. The one thing Cancer did for me was to help me grow closer to knowing my savior and Friend Jesus.

God bless you in his Work Shop

team stevens
Posts: 46
Joined: Sep 2010

well said, & it's clear you're doing the work of His kingdom here.

God Bless You

fisrpotpe's picture
fisrpotpe
Posts: 1322
Joined: Aug 2010

Very well said, keep the word comming!

Kent Cass's picture
Kent Cass
Posts: 1746
Joined: Nov 2009

Survivor, that your Aunt said this. Sorry for you, and sorry for her, as her words reveal much about her, and the God she believes in.

Likely what's in play, here, is just ignorance, Survivor. She probably didn't mean to allegedly step into God's shoes, or take His place, when she was speaking. And, she probably didn't mean to cast those words of judgement upon God's Being, either. Wonder what God thinks of her, now...Needless to say, you now know a lot about her, especially in regards to what she thinks of you, unfortunately. And, you now know "the condition" of her religious beliefs, which would seem to have it's own disease (anger and ignorance) going-on.

A fool blames God for the C which has befallen us. Yes, there is no denying He has allowed it/C to happen, because it has. So it is with most things, though, both good and bad. Such is life, and our history is what we do with the good and bad that defines us as the people we are. That's life, and the Lord is always there to help us thru that which comes our way, like the footprints in the sand tell of. Perhaps, Survivor, that which has befallen you is that which allows you to become closer to, and more knowing of, the true Lord than your Aunt is, or will ever be...And, hey, you know this whole thing about some character named Jesus who lived a long time ago, and said some things that are still on record in the back pages of a Book a lotta people have heard of...I reckon a large part of Christ's Mission is still one very strange mystery to your Aunt.

Yes, Survivor, I should think your forgiving your Aunt for what she said to you could trump, bigtime, all the negative she was throwing your way. That doesn't mean you have to let her know about it, or even want to talk to her again. Just forgive her, learn from her exhibition of what it's like to carry her disease, and move on as the really good person you are; and, as Christian,

Believe

kcass

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3230
Joined: Jan 2010

Awesome posts Hondo and Kent.

GraceLibby's picture
GraceLibby
Posts: 88
Joined: Jul 2010

This ought to tickle your funny bone. We have a large golden retriever, who probably should be brushed more often. It was overheard by a friend of mine, from my brother who firmly believes that I got cancer because I inhale too much dog fur. The dog fur carries germs into my throat and irritated the lining of my tonsil and Voila! No mention of HPV at all.

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5648
Joined: Apr 2009

Would that be called DGC / Dog gone Cancer

survivor31's picture
survivor31
Posts: 72
Joined: Apr 2010

all of youre feedback and understanding means more to me than you all will ever no and makes me feel a whole lot better Im just gone forgive and move on bless u all

Kimba1505's picture
Kimba1505
Posts: 557
Joined: Apr 2010

Cancer can put many of us on the fast track to patience, understanding, acceptance, and appreciation. Others are on a slower road. I have sometimes been accutely aware that "ignorance is bliss"; and knowledge, understanding and insight can feel like a burden. In the end I am always grateful for the burden.
Survivor...continue on your journey...know that you have become wise and strong...keep doing what you are doing...you are beyond surviving...LIVE and LOVE!
Kim

micktissue's picture
micktissue
Posts: 432
Joined: Dec 2009

People try in various ways to make sense of the senseless and sometimes what they come up with is, for the most part, painfully silly. What your aunt came up with was simply painful. However, I LOVE what you wrote: "I refuse to be defeated by her words". That is so powerful and I am so proud of you for feeling and stating that.

No matter what anyone says NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER!

Best,

Mick

Bigfuzzydoug's picture
Bigfuzzydoug
Posts: 154
Joined: Jul 2010

You're not being punished, you're being tested. But not by God, by yourself. To get closer to God means rising up, resetting your priorities and always becoming a better person. There's nothing like the words, "your biopsy came back positive," to reset your priorities.

Before I received those words I was about to have a mid-life crisis. The questions that plagued me were, "why have I not been promoted yet?" "Why am I not making more money?" "Why am I not further along in my career at the age of 41?" I was envious and jealous. "I know I'm smarter and better than these other people, I should be more successful." "I should have that new car, boat, etc," when looking at the neighbors. "That Vice President is younger than me, I should be in that role." And then I heard those five words, "your biopsy came back positive."

And you know something? The message from God was not that I'm being punished, but rather that I should look at myself and make the choice of how I choose to deal with this and my life. So I've been trying to be an inspiration for others. I've been MORE helpful to others. I abandoned all of those questions, envies and jealousy I wrote about above. Now I hug my kids a little tighter and a little longer. I'm a little nicer and loving to my wife. I'm a little friendlier at work and a little more helpful (even in the midst of treatments) for friends and neighbors.

So in a strange, twisted, warped kind of way. My cancer (and I can only speak for me) has been in a little way... a blessing. God shows me the opportunity to re-prioritize and God gives me encouragement to keep fighting and beat this thing! It's up to me what I choose to do and I choose to make the world and people around me a little better, nicer and happier!

That's not a punishment - its a blessing.

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Your aunt reads for the old testment a eye for a eye. Sad for her, I think and this is what I think . God does not give you cancer, he does not give you pain. These are things that make up what we call life. My mother thought that she looked upon a lady who was "crippled' with pity and I was born deformed. I had my left leg removed at age 1 1/2 What could I have done to offend God? I look at it is he blessed me with a humor so I could laugh at things. No god would have done this to punish someone. I was just born that was. The End. My mother (Rest in peace) She would think what she wanted but I was born just "normal" to me in my not so normal world. My husband has cancer never once has or will I think God punished him or I. My husband has cancer why because he carries a gene I believe passed by his mother. has nothing to do with God.
That is sad that she would push this ideal on you that God punishing you. NO way.
What I know from my life is I am fairly happy, I don't need two legs I can do almost everything I want to (can't tap dance) . I would not say I love myself, but I like me and I think God did a pretty good job with me. I have a great husband , two great children (always heard poor thing never going to marry never going to have kids) Well I did both. My fear is statments that your Aunt made is the same others will say but Show me in the bible where it said that? God said let ye with out sin cast the first stone. I think you should know God made me just fine and I know he made my husband just the way he should be. So please remember who your Aunt is in kind but take her words with a a grain of salt. Love her the best way you can.
Peace be with you
Jennie

adventurebob's picture
adventurebob
Posts: 690
Joined: Jun 2010

Just wrong.

Jan Trinks's picture
Jan Trinks
Posts: 455
Joined: Apr 2009

I don't know what your aunt is thinking! I certainly agree with everyone else! God does not give anyone cancer! Like Hondo said about growing in your relationship with God; I firmly believe the Lord used my husband's disease to bring us closer to Him and depend on Him. My husband passed away 1 month ago tonight as his cancer came back and was in several places; but God did not allow my husband to suffer long and he did have a remission for 1 1/2 years. We found out on 7/6 the extent of the return of cancer and he did have 6 weekly treatments before he passed away. I was with him till the end and he went very peacefully and even though I am heartbroken; I'm so grateful he didn't suffer and because of the nature of his disease and its progression God intervened and didn't allow the inevitable to happen. But He certainly didn't punish him by giving him cancer. So, stay positive!

Jan Trinks

staceya's picture
staceya
Posts: 701
Joined: Jan 2010

I am so angry I can't think straight! What does she think Pope John Paul was being punished for. She is so wrong and I am so sorry that you had one nanosecond of unnecessary pain because of her ignorance.
Stacey

fisrpotpe's picture
fisrpotpe
Posts: 1322
Joined: Aug 2010

Wow, Wow, Wow

all the wonderful posts here are just amazing and uplifting.

All you are very special.

John

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

I'm so sorry you had to hear that remark, especialy from a family member, but please do not let it get you down as it is completely untrue!!! God does not give us cancer!

I have never had anyone make this remark to me but I have heard it said about others and I always reply "What could a little 18 month old baby have done in his short lifetime to deserve cancer"??? This usually shuts them up real quick. Unfortunately it is true, while I was receiving chemo there was a father with his little 18 month old son and they were setting up an appointment for him to start receiving his treatment just before Thanksgiving. It broke my heart to think of someone so young and so innocent having to go through treatment. I've never felt sorry for myself or ask "why me" since that day.

Your name says it all, you are a survivor!! You have survived cancer and the treatments and you will survive this as well. NEVER let them get you down.

Stay strong,
Glenna

BonnyKay's picture
BonnyKay
Posts: 8
Joined: Sep 2010

Oh hon ... I'm so very sorry. :(

My husband was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma of the nasopharynx back in June. We were devastated. At first I told only my closest friends about what was going on ... and then I got ... the e-mail.

A "friend" wrote me and said, "Do you remember when you asked how come there aren't any miracles these days? You said in the Old Testament there was always a burning bush or a pillar of fire and you asked why we don't see those things anymore? Well, I'm not saying that God gave your husband cancer because YOU didn't believe ... but it makes you go hmmmmm."

I sat at my desk and CRIED. My husband got cancer because I asked a simple question? Omigosh ... I was heartbroken. And now I see what your Aunt told you and I'm STILL heartbroken. What are these people thinking? Do they believe saying something like that HELPS?

Know in your HEART that nothing you can think or do would cause God to give this to you. I don't believe it works that way ... I don't believe God punishes us with cancer. And all I can tell you is that I said a small prayer ... a prayer that they never discover THEY have this disease ... because they'll have to question these beliefs in their own hearts.

You can beat this ... we're on your side ... and so is God. HUGS!

rozaroo
Posts: 667
Joined: Apr 2010

I cannot believe in such a stupid remark your relative made to you, then I read Glenna's post about the little 18 month old going through treatment. I alway's tell people that ***** about everything including minor alement's to go & walk through the cancer centre for a day especially in the children's area.That will make them shut up. How could god punsih an innocent chld that has not done anything wrong. My god wouldn't. They are innocent ask her to explain that to you. That will shut her up quick!

delnative's picture
delnative
Posts: 452
Joined: Aug 2009

When I was going through radiation, the next person into the chamber after me was a little boy who couldn't have been more than 5 years old. They had to sedate him every day to get him into the mask and secured to the table, because otherwise he would have squirmed.
What in the name of heaven could that poor little boy have done to deserve a disease that a hard-assed adult like me had a hard time dealing with?
It wasn't punishment. God doesn't work that way.

--Jim in Delaware

Hector10's picture
Hector10
Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2010

Hi, I am sorry that you have been put in this situation. I find that people, like my mother, who put all of lifes events in God's hands have very little insight into being a
"Christian". From what I remember in the bible, God never committed an evil act or punished those who did, he forgave them and helped them to be better people. I am glad to hear you say you know what she says is not true.

Jimbo55's picture
Jimbo55
Posts: 572
Joined: Jun 2010

How's that saying go? Opinions are like a**holes, everybody has one. Sure don't make em right. Ignore them. Cheers

Jimbo

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8058
Joined: Sep 2009

Nice new photo of you Jimbo....

Best,
JG

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