Feeling very ill

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kristasplace
kristasplace Member Posts: 957 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I'm so frustrated! It's been two weeks since surgery, and i feel worse than i did the first week. The pain is still bad, but i also feel like overall crap, and a little nauseated. I don't want to eat or drink, and i'm exhausted. I don't remember feeling this badly after the last two surgeries. Has anyone else gone through this and ended up really not being as sick as they feel? I'm thinking it could be depression, but i don't feel sad or hopeless. Maybe time is just going to slow?

Hope everyone is doing well,
Krista
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Comments

  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
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    Oh Krista
    Krista,
    I'm sorry you are still feeling bad. I know that after ****'s second surgery he was surprised that he felt bad again. It has now been 5 weeks and he is feeling much better. One thing I know he does is walk every day. Even if at first he could only go a block, he did it. He says this made him feel better.

    I wish I could give more info. I will say a prayer for you now. I am thinking of you.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
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    Oh Krista
    Krista,
    I'm sorry you are still feeling bad. I know that after ****'s second surgery he was surprised that he felt bad again. It has now been 5 weeks and he is feeling much better. One thing I know he does is walk every day. Even if at first he could only go a block, he did it. He says this made him feel better.

    I wish I could give more info. I will say a prayer for you now. I am thinking of you.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Hi
    It could be depression, I didn't know I was depressed until the doctor gave me Paxel, and I saw the difference. I didn't realize that I was irritable, and more then that, was the enlightment that it was me that was causing a bit of friction in the household.

    I found that I had to rest when my body needed it, no matter the time of day, and found that I wss usually awake from 2-5 am. I also tried to stay active and walked as soon as possible. It does make you feel better, or it did me. But my liver resection was harder on me, and I asked for a sleeping aid, so I took it when my body said enough, I need longer sleep - 8 hrs.

    Hope you start feeling better!
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
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    You have to learn to smile when you vomit!


    Seriously, the chemicals that they use can have lasting effects.
    The anesthesia (they told me) can last for a year, depending on
    how long they thought the pain would last. And the antibiotics?
    Holy carp, can they do a number on your system! Then comes
    all the meds for heart regulation, carb and fat regulation, and
    all the other garbage they pump into you because they may
    get a commission on the sales (ha).

    And coming down off the pain killers isn't easy. The withdrawal
    is usually depression, lack of appetite, constipation, etc... They
    swear that it doesn't happen, but there are thousands like me
    and you, that beg to differ.

    So smile..... it'll go away soon (maybe), and if it does or not,
    you still have ME..... and the other five thousand out here to
    help keep you warm!

    You'll be OK, OK?


    John
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
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    Just wanted to send you
    big hugs, thinking of you. You are such a strong person (you don't deserve this latest setback, no one does), and I know you'll get through this, sending prayers and good thoughts your way.
    Sonia
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
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    Krista:)
    Hi Krista

    Well, after 8 surgeries and a 9th one pending, I can say that it does not get any easier - the more they go in, the more collateral damage that can occur - more scar tissue, more muscle and nerves, and in my case (fat) cut through.

    Whenever I come out of surgery, I drop 20-25 pounds, because I can't eat either, no appetite and just physically cannot swallow food - drink very little as well, but ice water - very tired and exhausted too, but surgery will do that to you.

    It's just the "gift that keeps on giving."

    As far as depression goes, there is what I refer to as the "Living Depression." What this is, is that you go through the daily things in your life and you function on a society level - what people can see they think is ok, is what I'm referring to.

    But deep down, you have alot of stuff still to sort through. It's better than a total shut down depression, because that means you can't work on a job and you can't function - if you have no help from people, you're in trouble.

    And all of us have been conditioned now, in our hurry up society, to get back to normal and get over it. I talk about Time alot (nobody wants to hear it) but it bears repeating...TIME is the key element in all of our recoveries.

    John has eluded to some of the physical conditions that follow a surgery and those are some points to consider - they pump alot into us - their job is to keep our hearts beating - past that and they don't know what to do - they have no idea what to do with our emotional well being.

    Going into Year 6 with all that I've done, this is my take on it. Nothing wrong with you, honey - you've just taken a big beating.

    I want nothing more from you than to start feeling better - your attitude and spirit soar and it's time to reap the harvest that you have sown.

    I can't tell you how good it is to see you around:)

    Time:)

    -Craig
    And as you know, you've been through so much (me too) and it just wears you out, like the ocean beating on the shore and washing the sands of your life back out to sea. It' just a whip as time rolls on.

    For some, medication can be the answer - or at least can help.
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 957 Member
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    Sundanceh said:

    Krista:)
    Hi Krista

    Well, after 8 surgeries and a 9th one pending, I can say that it does not get any easier - the more they go in, the more collateral damage that can occur - more scar tissue, more muscle and nerves, and in my case (fat) cut through.

    Whenever I come out of surgery, I drop 20-25 pounds, because I can't eat either, no appetite and just physically cannot swallow food - drink very little as well, but ice water - very tired and exhausted too, but surgery will do that to you.

    It's just the "gift that keeps on giving."

    As far as depression goes, there is what I refer to as the "Living Depression." What this is, is that you go through the daily things in your life and you function on a society level - what people can see they think is ok, is what I'm referring to.

    But deep down, you have alot of stuff still to sort through. It's better than a total shut down depression, because that means you can't work on a job and you can't function - if you have no help from people, you're in trouble.

    And all of us have been conditioned now, in our hurry up society, to get back to normal and get over it. I talk about Time alot (nobody wants to hear it) but it bears repeating...TIME is the key element in all of our recoveries.

    John has eluded to some of the physical conditions that follow a surgery and those are some points to consider - they pump alot into us - their job is to keep our hearts beating - past that and they don't know what to do - they have no idea what to do with our emotional well being.

    Going into Year 6 with all that I've done, this is my take on it. Nothing wrong with you, honey - you've just taken a big beating.

    I want nothing more from you than to start feeling better - your attitude and spirit soar and it's time to reap the harvest that you have sown.

    I can't tell you how good it is to see you around:)

    Time:)

    -Craig
    And as you know, you've been through so much (me too) and it just wears you out, like the ocean beating on the shore and washing the sands of your life back out to sea. It' just a whip as time rolls on.

    For some, medication can be the answer - or at least can help.

    I think you're right
    Reading your responses to my post brought back the memories of exactly what occured to me during this last surgery.

    I was in such tremendous pain when they woke me up, that i was moaning in agony until it slowly subsided, and i fell back to sleep. They had put an epidural in, giving me control of the medication via a button. Throughout that night, every time i woke up, i pushed the button.

    In a drug induced haze, i remember the doctors coming in, rubbing the bottoms of my feet with a stick, or something, and then telling each other that i was unresponsive. The doctor yelled at me for over medicating myself, but i didn't know i was doing it. She said i was about to cause myself to stop breathing.

    They took that button away, and gave me a morphine button instead. I think i pushed this button a lot too, because i started realizing that i was only sleeping for about fifteen minutes at a time, but thought i had been asleep for hours. I was pushing that button every time i woke up. They gave me the epidural button back, and then i had two buttons to push. The four days that i was in the hospital was nothing but sleeping off and on the entire time, and i'm still doing that. I think you guys are right, i'm probably still pretty drugged up. Craig, when you said my body has taken a beating, that's exactly how it feels. like someone took a baseball bat to my midsection unmercilessly, so i guess i should expect discomfort there. I can't take any narcotics because of the constipation factor, and ibuprofen is about useless.

    I have been trying to walk more, too. My guts still feel like they're going to fall out every time i stand, but it usually goes away after a little walking. I'm just so eager for all of this to be over. I watched a DVD last night that was extremely inspiring, and i feel very motivated to do what needs to come next to cure myself. If you guys are interested, it's called: Healing Cancer. It's from 2008, and it's over two hours long. The guy who made it is named Mike Anderson.

    Craig, i'm so with you on the weight loss issue after surgery! I've always looked at that as a very nice benefit to all the suffering. Unfortunately this time, i only lost six pounds. However, the jp drains were kept in for almost two weeks, and they drained a lot of fat. Another great benefit! I thought it was pus coming through the tubing, but the surgeon (who normally does bariatric surgeries) told me it was liquified fat! I was very happy to hear it!

    Kathleen, i hope your honey is doing well. It sounds like he soared through his surgery. I'll bet it helps living in a place that's as close to paradise as one can get on Earth!

    Hugs to all!
    Krista
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 957 Member
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    Sonia32 said:

    Just wanted to send you
    big hugs, thinking of you. You are such a strong person (you don't deserve this latest setback, no one does), and I know you'll get through this, sending prayers and good thoughts your way.
    Sonia

    Thanks, Sonia
    Huge hugs back! Hope all is well!
  • coolvdub
    coolvdub Member Posts: 408 Member
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    Sundanceh said:

    Krista:)
    Hi Krista

    Well, after 8 surgeries and a 9th one pending, I can say that it does not get any easier - the more they go in, the more collateral damage that can occur - more scar tissue, more muscle and nerves, and in my case (fat) cut through.

    Whenever I come out of surgery, I drop 20-25 pounds, because I can't eat either, no appetite and just physically cannot swallow food - drink very little as well, but ice water - very tired and exhausted too, but surgery will do that to you.

    It's just the "gift that keeps on giving."

    As far as depression goes, there is what I refer to as the "Living Depression." What this is, is that you go through the daily things in your life and you function on a society level - what people can see they think is ok, is what I'm referring to.

    But deep down, you have alot of stuff still to sort through. It's better than a total shut down depression, because that means you can't work on a job and you can't function - if you have no help from people, you're in trouble.

    And all of us have been conditioned now, in our hurry up society, to get back to normal and get over it. I talk about Time alot (nobody wants to hear it) but it bears repeating...TIME is the key element in all of our recoveries.

    John has eluded to some of the physical conditions that follow a surgery and those are some points to consider - they pump alot into us - their job is to keep our hearts beating - past that and they don't know what to do - they have no idea what to do with our emotional well being.

    Going into Year 6 with all that I've done, this is my take on it. Nothing wrong with you, honey - you've just taken a big beating.

    I want nothing more from you than to start feeling better - your attitude and spirit soar and it's time to reap the harvest that you have sown.

    I can't tell you how good it is to see you around:)

    Time:)

    -Craig
    And as you know, you've been through so much (me too) and it just wears you out, like the ocean beating on the shore and washing the sands of your life back out to sea. It' just a whip as time rolls on.

    For some, medication can be the answer - or at least can help.

    Krista
    Hi Krista,

    I'm sorry you are not feeling well, it makes me sad. I'm giving you a new job, it's to get back to feeling better. Eat and drink when you can, high calorie stuff would probably be a good idea. For me personally, a hospital stay always means dropping 10-20 pounds. I would also try the walking that Kathleen suggested. Walking always made me feel better when in the hospital. I think getting up and seeing the other people helped me a lot. This beast we are all fighting, takes a lot from us. You are stronger than it is, even if you don't think so right now. We are all here for you, sort of like having your own chear team ;). I will be praying for you.

    Don
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 957 Member
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    Nana b said:

    Hi
    It could be depression, I didn't know I was depressed until the doctor gave me Paxel, and I saw the difference. I didn't realize that I was irritable, and more then that, was the enlightment that it was me that was causing a bit of friction in the household.

    I found that I had to rest when my body needed it, no matter the time of day, and found that I wss usually awake from 2-5 am. I also tried to stay active and walked as soon as possible. It does make you feel better, or it did me. But my liver resection was harder on me, and I asked for a sleeping aid, so I took it when my body said enough, I need longer sleep - 8 hrs.

    Hope you start feeling better!

    Paxil
    Hi girl! I'm so glad you've found a way to conquer depression and insomnia. Sleep is so important. I was taking ativan to help me relax, and it worked, but i have to say that many of these drugs scare the you-know-what out of me. Particularly paxil. My last boyfriend was on that for a long time, and he was able to eventually wean himself from it. He panicked after a year off it, and got back on it because he couldn't handle what life was dealing us. A short time after he got back on it, i noticed that he was unemotional, and didn't seem to care about anything anymore. When i brought this to his attention, he said he realized that, but that it was better than the alternative of feeling too much. I think ativan is addictive too. I'm so scared of getting addicted to something. This is one of the reasons i will not mention the word depression to my doctors, even if i feel i am, or if they ask.

    My sleeping patterns are much like yours right now. I can nap off and on all day, but wake up around 2 AM, and stay awake for a while. I know the ativan would help, but...i'm just too scared of it to take it.

    Hugs!
    Krista
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
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    nothing new to add
    but I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. This stuff just sucks and like Craig said, time is the important thing here. With time, things will get back more to feeling better. Have you considered an abdominal binder for more comfort when you stand and walk while healing? I've used one every time I had abdominal surgery and it really helps to be able to walk straighter and feel more comfortable. When I had all the infections, my visiting nurse thought it probably helped me to heal faster as well! I'm praying every day brings you closer to feeling like your old self again!
    mary
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Sorry
    Krista,

    I hope you will be feeling so much better soon! If you don't, I think it would be perfectly within reason to call your doctor and see if you can go in. Don't sit around feeling horrible, if there's something they can do for you.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
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    Krista
    Take one step at a time and do not be afraid to seek help if you think you are depressed. But I do know each surgery brings longer recoveries. You are in my prayers.
    Marie
  • pluckey
    pluckey Member Posts: 484 Member
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    what kind of surgery did you
    what kind of surgery did you have Krista?

    You already got lots of good advice so I'll just add a big ol'd HUG and wishes for healing

    Peggy
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
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    pluckey said:

    what kind of surgery did you
    what kind of surgery did you have Krista?

    You already got lots of good advice so I'll just add a big ol'd HUG and wishes for healing

    Peggy

    I
    hope you feel better soon.

    michelle
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
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    Krista,
    I have nothing new to add, either, but wishing you more pain-free days. I'm so sorry that you're feeling horrible.

    Love, hugs and prayers for you,

    Holly
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
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    Krista,
    I hope you are

    Krista,

    I hope you are feeling better.
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 957 Member
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    Doing better
    In fact, i took a drive along the coast yesterday just to get out and test myself. It turned out to be a bit more than i could handle, and i felt like crap the rest of the day. You don't realize how many abdominal muscles you use when you drive until you're unable to use them! I had to get Rainbow's dog food, and though they're only four pound bags, it was murder trying to lift them.

    The surgery i had was to remove a cancerous ovary, and explorative surgery to see what was going on in there. There was also a hernia (which turned out to be seven hernias) that had to be repaired. The doctors completely reconstructed my innards, including repositioning bowels, and pulling muscle from my sides to my front.

    It was a worse surgery than the last two i've undergone as far as initial pain. The only wonderful thing is that my incision site is, and has been completely pain free thanks to all the nerve death from the last surgeries.

    Hope everyone is hanging in there!
    Love,
    Krista
  • newperson
    newperson Member Posts: 76
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    Doing better
    In fact, i took a drive along the coast yesterday just to get out and test myself. It turned out to be a bit more than i could handle, and i felt like crap the rest of the day. You don't realize how many abdominal muscles you use when you drive until you're unable to use them! I had to get Rainbow's dog food, and though they're only four pound bags, it was murder trying to lift them.

    The surgery i had was to remove a cancerous ovary, and explorative surgery to see what was going on in there. There was also a hernia (which turned out to be seven hernias) that had to be repaired. The doctors completely reconstructed my innards, including repositioning bowels, and pulling muscle from my sides to my front.

    It was a worse surgery than the last two i've undergone as far as initial pain. The only wonderful thing is that my incision site is, and has been completely pain free thanks to all the nerve death from the last surgeries.

    Hope everyone is hanging in there!
    Love,
    Krista

    doing better
    Krista, I'm so glad that you are doing better. I hope you start to have a speedy and smooth recovery. Sending my best wishes to you. - Lucy
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
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    Hi Krista,you are in my
    Hi Krista,you are in my prayers.Get well soon.
  • greybeard
    greybeard Member Posts: 24
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    tick, tick, tick...
    Seems that the clock is a huge part of this fight, we all want more of it, there are good times we want to stay, and of course there is the opposite. Time is a fickle friend to cancer warriors. I am sending you good vibes, sounds like you are making progress albeit slow, you will get there. just like they said in that old wetern show with the Karate guy, "patience, Grasshopper." I guess that may be a pretty obscure reference :), do you know the show, of which I speak? David Karadine (sp?) in the 70's? Was it Kung Foo, or Hong Kong Fooey, ah well. Hope this finds ya smilin and every day is better then the day before.
    chris