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Stupid comments from people
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Jun 09, 2010 - 2:05 pm
I think I have just gotten the most stupid comment ever said to someone who has just lost the love of their life. I was told by a man " let me know when you are done grieving I would like to ask you out on a date" Panks |
Joined: Nov 2009
Hey Panks
Sorry you had to get such a stupid comment. Like I am sure you are going to want him for a date! What was your response? I have been lucky enough to not have gotten any stupid comments concerning my dad's passing. But...my mom has a couple of guys sniffing around. Oh no you don't!!! Why are some men so darn dumb? Hope all else is going well. Hugs to you.
Tina
Joined: Feb 2010
Thank you for the compliment but insensitive people arent my type.
Joined: Jun 2006
WHAT a stone cold jerk! Write his name on a piece of paper - throw it in the toilet and FLUSH! Then take care of you -
Joined: Sep 2010
My mom just lost her soulmate (my dad - one of my best friends) on August 29th and someone said to her, "You're young... You will find someone else." WTF!! Are you kidding me right now?? People are so stupid sometimes. The other thing that people say is, "You need to move on" or "Are you depressed?" Geez... What do you think???
-Melissa
Joined: Sep 2010
People just don't understand. I mean I get that stuff all the time, luckily my husband is still fighting, but still its annoying to hear their comments.
Like why don't you take a night out, go vacation, enjoy a dinner out especially when going for treatment and the kids are at home. Really chemotherapy in the morning and puking most of the time, not really a recipe for fancing dining.
Joined: May 2011
hey i know exactly how u feel
my mom is stage 4 colon cancer w no more cure could be done so we r realy in bad condition where we went twice to the hospital in the last 2 weeks
anyway people call me to offer help or say we r praying
but i got once 'don't cry u must be strong just take care of her & pray'
r u kidding me don't cry????but what can i say they r not in my situation so they don't feel anything
take care & try to ignore these comments u already have a lot of negative energy surrounding u
Joined: Apr 2011
For me that's the absolute worst. "Don't cry" what do they know about how I feel? I took time off work after my mum passed away and someone had the nerve to say " its been 2weeks since you buried her, you need the extra time to do what?" Argh, I didn't even bother replying. I just went home.
Joined: Aug 2009
I don't check this board often. The Grief and Bereavement board gets more activity. I found that even the sensitive remarks got to me at times. Sometimes just a hug or how are you is enough. We really don't know what to say. I'm sorry for your loss seems so inadequate, and I got tired of hearing it. It is what I end up saying, though. I hope you are finding ways to grieve your mom. It is a process, and we never really stop missing our loved one. Take care, Fay
Joined: Oct 2011
Wow, that is insane. I just found yesterday out my mom will not make it till New Year's, and a guy I dated a while back asked "So I take it you want to move our trip to next month? Or early Dec? Or you know what, you tell me when you are ready. Thanks!" Are you f*$%ing kidding me!?
Just be happy that moron showed you his true colors now before you wasted any real time on him.
Joined: Nov 2011
what do you say to the people trying to be helpful? I lost Butch 11/11/11 I get comments about the date,like yes that was the first thing to come to mind. The one that really struck me was "you know such a great guy loved you so something about will attract another great guy."
Joined: Aug 2010
Hi,
I don't know if people don't know what to say or what but they do make dumb comments. Even my own sister asked me 2 weeks after my husband died "How long are you gonna cry?" Excuse me? No one know until they go through losing their loved one who has been their whole life how it feels. My husband & I had been married 46 years & we were supposed to enjoy retirement together. Now I'm alone & it sucks. So please, just keep coming on this site you'll get all the support you need. We have to be strong!! "Carole"
Joined: Jul 2011
Some people are just ignorant....serously. Im very sorry for your loss. Tell that person to go fly a kite.
Joined: Dec 2011
Sorry you had to endure that but on the day my mom died I got one comment that may rival that one. This was last Wed morning Dec 14th. I'd just dealt with watching my sweet mother struggle for her last breaths and then in a snap she was gone at 1:48 am. All the waves of emotions are hitting. You have to go through the entire process of contacting hospice then the mortuary and removal of the body. It was horrific to say the least. After all that I decided to get out of the house and go get some pepsi ( my form of coffee ) and so Off I go feeling like complete jelly to the corner store. All the workers there knew my mom had been sick and I was taking care of her. In a way I didn't want to go there because I knew the first question as always was going to be .. How is mom doing? Well that happened. I told them she passed that morning and his response? Are you ready for this one?
He said... To bad she didn't wait til after Christmas. I'm not kidding you. I stood there thinking I'd heard him wrong and I said.. excuse me? His buddy mumbled something to him in Punjabi and he hung his head real low and said he was sorry for the loss. whatever his friend said really embarrassed him. I'm glad. It had to be the single stupidest thing anyone could ever say to me at that point.
Joined: Dec 2009
That is incredible. Cannot believe that someone could seriously be that dumb. I'm so sorry you had to hear that.
My worst comment recieved....from my husband. He loves me and he loved our son David totally, with all of his heart. But after walking in on me unexpectedly and seeing me crying my head off, he said that I needed to "move on." Move on from the death of our son?!?!?!?!? I think it hurt even worse because it came from my husband, David's father. He's usually not an insensitive clod. He did apologize many times afterwards and said it was the wrong choice of words. He meant that I needed to try to get my life together. That didn't really help either. I told him he'd better brace himself because I was NEVER going to "move on" from the death of David.
I love my husband but sometimes I have some bitter feelings towards him. I've heard that losing a child can destroy a marriage. I guess I need to be careful. After all we have been through together, it would be a shame to call it quits after 35+ years. Right?
Cindy in Salem, OR
Joined: Aug 2012
Cindy...im sorry for the loss of your son. It has to be the hardest thing in the world. Im sure your husband just wants you to be okay. Its really hard to know what to say and do but im sure hes hurting too and worried about you. Hugs and sympathy!