Well I am making some cautious efforts towards re-starting my "new" life.
My reason for doing these things now is that I want to be solidly on my new path before the two month anniversary of Bill's death is upon me.
I have reduced the ties with his daughter...who has been both an emotional and financial drain on me....this was nothing new...Bill and I struggled with her and her issues for too long of a time....but now with him not here....dealing with her is impossible for me.
I pray that she finds her way...but she will need to do it without me....at least not on a daily basis.
Another leap of faith I took is calling my old job....left 1 1/2 yrs ago...thinking I would be retired....they have positions available...need to sort out exactly what I want...have an interview this coming Thursday.
So with getting back to work and getting shed of some emotional issues....I should really start to regain my place in the functioning world.
Even with these proactive actions...I intend to give myself a solid year to continue to sort out everything....I know there is no quick fix with this....but this is a really good start....the pain of loss will more than likely always be a part of me now....it just does not have to define me....Bill didn't want that to happen to me!
I want to thank everyone that posts here....I got so much internal energy from reading the posts...and comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this struggle....everyone here is struggling with horrific loss.....
Thanks-again to everyone.