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spouse insensitity to your emotional needs

Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2010

I have tried to get my wife to understand the emotional war I'm fighting. She doesn't understand how a simple hug, kiss can mean so much. I'm in a weight spiral where I can't retain weight. It's a dangerous situation. Yet I can't get love and affection at this grave time in my cancer. Depression is a nasty thing and robs you of the desire to do things. Living in dread of my next CT Scan and not having simple emotional support is a silent death.

opito bay
Posts: 8
Joined: Mar 2010

I feel for you very much,I can imagine to a certain extent what you are going through. I believe we all go through an emotional upheaval when we have a life threatening issue and a vital organ removed, a very lonely experience. My family all live in a different country to me, they moved 5-10 years ago. I was divorced 3 years ago and the in December last year I was Diagnosed then after a not so good Xmas I had my right Kidney removed early January. I thought I was doing okay until I had a bad anxiety attack. Everything caught up on me and I actually was not doing so well as I thought. I am 59 years old with Children and grandchildren and this has helped a lot. I now have a very good lady in my life, she is very attentive and we visit a natural health and life counsellor together, this is very good for us both. Possibly some counselling with your wife might help,she is possibly scared as well!
Hope this helps

Posts: 18
Joined: Apr 2010

My husband has stage 4 cancer, started with kidney and adrenal removal, with spread to abdominal wall and lungs. This was in November. I have been in your wife's position. I realized last week that I had been distancing myself emotionally and physically from my husband for the fear that if I keep loving him so much, if he should die it will be harder to bear. We too wait in constant fear of his next scans, but I have re-committed myself to loving him with all I have in me because should he die tomorrow I don't want to have the regret of having not loved the heck out of him when he needed it most. You might want to share this with your wife. I imagine she shares some of my own fears.

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