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spouse insensitity to your emotional needs

jncscouts@gmail.com
Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2010

I have tried to get my wife to understand the emotional war I'm fighting. She doesn't understand how a simple hug, kiss can mean so much. I'm in a weight spiral where I can't retain weight. It's a dangerous situation. Yet I can't get love and affection at this grave time in my cancer. Depression is a nasty thing and robs you of the desire to do things. Living in dread of my next CT Scan and not having simple emotional support is a silent death.

opito bay
Posts: 8
Joined: Mar 2010

I feel for you very much,I can imagine to a certain extent what you are going through. I believe we all go through an emotional upheaval when we have a life threatening issue and a vital organ removed, a very lonely experience. My family all live in a different country to me, they moved 5-10 years ago. I was divorced 3 years ago and the in December last year I was Diagnosed then after a not so good Xmas I had my right Kidney removed early January. I thought I was doing okay until I had a bad anxiety attack. Everything caught up on me and I actually was not doing so well as I thought. I am 59 years old with Children and grandchildren and this has helped a lot. I now have a very good lady in my life, she is very attentive and we visit a natural health and life counsellor together, this is very good for us both. Possibly some counselling with your wife might help,she is possibly scared as well!
Hope this helps

pattymel
Posts: 18
Joined: Apr 2010

My husband has stage 4 cancer, started with kidney and adrenal removal, with spread to abdominal wall and lungs. This was in November. I have been in your wife's position. I realized last week that I had been distancing myself emotionally and physically from my husband for the fear that if I keep loving him so much, if he should die it will be harder to bear. We too wait in constant fear of his next scans, but I have re-committed myself to loving him with all I have in me because should he die tomorrow I don't want to have the regret of having not loved the heck out of him when he needed it most. You might want to share this with your wife. I imagine she shares some of my own fears.

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