As most of you know, I keep my cards close to my vest, so to post this is very difficult for me. I just hope no one is in this position as I am now. I am a survivor, and have two teens, and a husband of 20 years. I am approaching my 6 month Pet in April, and my husband, who has treated my illness like I have a cold, has informed me he is going to sell our home, and see a lawyer. I am the sole caregiver to my 8o year old Mom, although my sister drives 2 hrs hear to give me a break from the Nursing Home. We make a great "tag team".
My husband informs me tonite that he does not trust me because I am either on the phone - NH, Brothers, Sis, Financial Info, Cancer chat, or my get away Pogo.com! He thinks something is going on! LMAO (if I had one left) As most of you know I was 112bls, 5ft9in after treatment. I explained to him, I am trying to take in as many calories as possible per day, just to maintain, than gain more weight. I am up to 1100 calories by noon and proud of it! (yea me)I thought he understood. I have stopped drinking since Sept 2009, but he has not. That is fine. I would not deny a couple of beers on the weekends - he works 60 hrs a week, and has done so much around the house during the many months I could not get out of bed. I expressed my thanks each time.
I used to take care of his parents 87 Dad and 80 Mom until July when my Mom got dementia, stokes and heart failure. Now, he goes over to help them 1 or 2 times a week and I think the stress is being directed at me. I asked him last year to get an Eldercare lawyer, and visiting nurse.Now his Dad is on his last legs and he is in a panic. I understand, but it is out of my hands.
I told him in July 2009 when I was diagnosed, that this will either make or break us.
I guess it is breaking us. It saddens me yes, but I am not the person I was when I began this journey. My energy must be focused on my fight, my children, and making Mom comfortable. I am sorry he thinks I look like a "waif" but it is what it is right now. I feel badly that he feels so distrustful and neglected.
No, I do not look look that tall blonde, blue eyed girl he married 20 years ago, but the inside is the same - only much stronger! I can only pray, and have faith that he will come around. I know either way, whatever he decides, I will come thru this too. Thank you my cancer family, for listening, and always being here day and night.
P.S. Can I get anyone to testify in court on my behalf? Hee hee! Love and prayers, Patty