It's Been a Humbling Mornin'
I was shocked back into reality this morning when a very old friend of mine showed up at my office door with a co-worker in tow. They quickly closed my door and before I could catch my breath, this guy was telling me about his “bleeding” issues. I woke up very quickly from there.
He was nervous and scared, but began to tell me about his condition. And instantly, I went into “Board Mode” and began asking him questions and providing info to him and working up the first step in his game plan. And also trying to reassure him and calm him down. It’s a familiar story – bleeding, sometimes straight blood during BMs. We covered hemorrhoids and anal fissures, but it’s been going on for to many years – 8 to be exact.
He is a very young man, just 28 years old. I told him immediately how it took guts for him to be able to stop by and talk to me openly about such a delicate topic, especially man to man. And that I appreciated his trust in me to come to me and talk about this.
Men are funny and we sometimes hide behind a lot of bravado to project strength and toughness. So, I first have to thank my long time friend, who this guy talked to first. Then, my buddy came over with him to talk to me. So, it’s beautiful to see this type of conversation taking place, especially man-to-man. It’s especially meaningful with this being Colon Cancer Awareness month.
His story shook me to the core – it resembled mine so much and what he was describing was just the way it happened to me. He’s going in for bloodwork tomorrow and I told him to let me know what the results of that are, what his CEA is etc. I strongly suggested that the next step is to get to a GI doctor and have a colonoscopy, so we can know more about what we are up against. And then I told him we would take it from there, I did not want to overwhelm him too much more. And until we know more from a scope test, I just stopped it right there.
So, gave him an action plan and an achievable goal to get started. And I offered to guide and help him any way that I could. That if he would trust me enough to let me know what we find on the scope, that I would help him with questions for his doctors and give him info – and that if it were Cancer, WE would get through it. We just take it one step at a time.
After the meeting broke, a few tears welled up in my eyes thinking about this guy and what he might be facing. He is so young and has no idea what might be coming. But, I’ve been put into a position to help him – and help him I will. I practice a small “grass roots” movement here in Texas and through the internet, the newspaper, tv news, and in person, I try to make a difference any way that I know how.
People always ask me “Why don’t you just walk away from Cancer now.” At times, I have tried to distance myself, but I find that I cannot. Once afflicted, I don’t know how any of us can walk away from it. It does get depressing and seeing people we know hurt and pass away. All the more reason to keep trying to help – we can’t save everyone, but when an opportunity knocks on our door, I’ve had a hard time not answering the door.
To live and go through what we have and not be able to share it and help others, does not seem right to me. Cancer will always be a part of me in some fashion or the other – how we use that “event” in our life, is always up to the individual. But it does make one feel relevant and better about themselves to be a mentor to someone else, whether on the board, or in person.
So, I just can’t walk away. You look someone in the eye and know that you can help them, that’s the only answer I can give you.
So, “Dr. Sundance” has his first “live” patient.
I am truly touched by this morning’s events. When we awake each morning, sometimes dreading the day, we never know what is going to happen to each one of us on any given day, that has the capacity to change your life and maybe someone else’s.
I’m honored to be in a position of trust and to be able to help someone who may need some help. I have to keep reminding myself of this, when I start to feel sorry for myself.
I sit here humbled this morning.
-Craig
Comments
-
Great post Craig. I hate it
Great post Craig. I hate it for this guy. I had a similar situation a few weeks when a friend's brother was dx with cc. I've received a lot of help from this board. Some of those folks are no longer with us. I feel obligated to friends like Brant to help others.
Keep hanging with us Craig. Take care.
Roger0 -
Doctor Sundance
Thank you for sharing this. You are right....cancer or any other catastrophic event in our lives should humble us if we are not already humble, and if we are humble it makes us even more humble and compassionate.
The word doctor also means 'teacher'. You did a good job and that young man is fortunate to have you in his court.
-Pat0 -
A beacon
Craig,
You are bacon, a shinning light that others can turn to. You truly are a brave person and it is good that this young guy picked you to see. He could have gone to his "real" doctor and got the standard hemrroid talk, but now he has been given "reliable information"!
Thank you Dr Sundance for stepping up to the plate!
Take care
Jan0 -
thanks for sharing
Hi Craig,
Thanks for sharing what this young coworker of yours shared with you, and for your thoughts and emotions following the meeting. You are right- I'm sure it would be hard to "walk away from cancer", even for people who are NED. Having experienced it and being knowledgeable about it, you will always want to help out and be there for others who are going through it. I hope and pray this young man doesn't end up w/ a cancer diagnosis but, if he does, I know you have already been and will continue to be of help and support. That's just the way you are, Craig!
Lisa0 -
Craig, what a good feeling to know that you are there for him.lisa42 said:thanks for sharing
Hi Craig,
Thanks for sharing what this young coworker of yours shared with you, and for your thoughts and emotions following the meeting. You are right- I'm sure it would be hard to "walk away from cancer", even for people who are NED. Having experienced it and being knowledgeable about it, you will always want to help out and be there for others who are going through it. I hope and pray this young man doesn't end up w/ a cancer diagnosis but, if he does, I know you have already been and will continue to be of help and support. That's just the way you are, Craig!
Lisa
Craig, what a good feeling to know that you are there for him. His battle will not be as bad with you helping him. Knowing that we are not alone is so important. Thank you Craig for stepping up for this man.
Lizzy0 -
Couldn't find a better guide...
Craig,
I don't think this fellow could have found a better guide and mentor than yourself. You bring a wonderful combination of knowledge, experience, and compassion. Thanks for sharing this story. And thanks for being a part of this community.
Be well... Rob; in Vancouver0 -
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing this with us, and for also being a caring and compassionate person willing to be there for others.
We seldom get to know what our life experiences mean in the grand scheme of things...kinda like the old movie...A Wonderful Life.
You have put your knowledge to wonderful use today for one young man. Regardless of his diagnosis...I am sure you will always be on the top of his list.
So, "Dr. Sundance" do you take insurance? and do we get a lollipop if we are good?
Take care,
Marie0 -
Craig
This man couldn't have a better guide than you. You have a very good friend that brought him to you, also. Have am part of a "buddy" system and am able to connect with people by phone and email to offer support, but I still prefer face to face. It is just so much more satifying.
Keep up the good work. You are a fighter and can teach others to follow. I'm proud to call you a friend, as many others here are. You do us ALL proud!
Kimby
Outwit. Outplay. Outlast0 -
One of my patient partners asked:
"How can I every repay you for your support during this battle?"
I said "Someday, someone will need your help, like you needed mine. Help them. That is my payment!"
It's a very inspiring experience every time....I'm on number 14 patient partner. But have also had 'casual' conversations that just lasted a few questions...
We never know how much impact we have on others...even those who stand on the perifery and just listen...
Hugs to you, my dear! You most assuredly save this young man's life!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
THANK YOU All Very Much!!!
I just wanted to drop a note and say I loved seeing everyone's name and face on the post. I try not to open too many, but when I do, it's always so nice to see everyone
Roger:
It's been nice getting to know you recently...you've been very supportive and I'm watching your story closely - hope that you get the surgery date you very much want. Thanks for your friendship.
Pat:
Thanks for your response to the post - I'm following you too and hoping that things keep moving in the right direction for you. Thank you for your kind words and your "Doctor Sundance" reply made me grin
Jan:
You've always been so nice towards me and very supportive. "Dr. Sundance" made me grin from you too Your words are so kind and tender, I thank you. Look forward to seeing you and your husband when you feel up to it. When in doubt - UTSW!
Lisa:
My California Sunshine Thank you, Lisa for your kind words on the post as well...always love to hear from you. It means alot to talk with you, especially with all that you've got going on - to see your face on the post means so much to me. I think of you alot and how you handle yourself - you are a reminder to me to stay strong...you are an inspiration.
Lizzy:
You always make me smile too So good to see you. With you and Toots, I always have "Carolina in my Mind." Anytime I hear that song, I think of you. Thank you for your kind words. Always glad to be of service and help you.
Rob:
My "Southern Brother" aka Canada Rob - you never cease to amaze me with your friendship and support. I can always count on a post from you with something good to say. Thank you for the kind things that you said - I know they came from that big heart of yours. I remember our first post about RFA (when you were NED) and I thought this guy is ok, would like to get to know him. And when things came back on you, I got the chance to know you - and found what a wonderful person that you are. You know how much I want you to get better, Buddy. Your spirit and strength emanates across the borders that separate us. Thank you for being part of our community Oh, and congrats on the Gold medal hockey game!
Anne:
Another one of my Canadien friends Always so nice to hear from you, Anne. I want to also thank you for posting and for your kind words as well. And we never do know, do we? I think that's the biggest reason I get up everyday, I just might be surprised or be put to use.
Marie:
Thank you for your kind words - your banter about "Dr.Sundance" made me laugh too. Currently, I don't accept insurance, I'm sort of "pro bono." But you can get a lollipop if you would like, there are plenty and I already know you're good, so I'll throw in a cyberhug too. ((Marie))
Kimby:
Your post touched me deeply. Hearing that coming from you means so much - I think of you often and witnessing some of your struggles always keeps me grounded, because I know how tough you are and your resiliency to Outwit.Outlast.Outplay and you have set the bar high.
I know you hate hearing how "strong and tough" you are - like you said, "What else can we do?" There's truth to that, but the ability to keep going and going and moving forward with that great attitude is what makes you just that - you inspire many people - you inspire me!
Holly:
Thank you so much for your post! Reading your reply, I felt a tear slide down my cheek too
I appreciate your kind words, they mean alot to me. I've been keeping up with your story too and am impressed with how you've been handling your business - you rock!
Kathi:
Wow! Your words of insight had me reading it several times and got me to thinking. You're so right - that's the right type of payment - just pay it forward will be enough for me...I could not agree more! Hopefully, I can live up to the high standards that you have set. It is a very inspiring experience - one cannot help but feel a change come over you - emotional to be sure. Knowing you were put in a spot to help someone else, really makes you think about the role that one might play in their life. Thank you so much for your post and ((HUGS)) back to you, Darlin' (I'm from Texas) and continued good health to you and yours I always look forward to seeing a reply from you when I open a post. Thanks so much for "stoppin' in."
Well then, I guess that covers it pretty good. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and respond. I always love to have you all along for the ride - I feel less alone during those times. Thank you all for your continued love, support and friendship
((SEMI;COLONS))
"Dr.Sundance"
-Craig0 -
Sundance...You are shining down on me...Sundanceh said:THANK YOU All Very Much!!!
I just wanted to drop a note and say I loved seeing everyone's name and face on the post. I try not to open too many, but when I do, it's always so nice to see everyone
Roger:
It's been nice getting to know you recently...you've been very supportive and I'm watching your story closely - hope that you get the surgery date you very much want. Thanks for your friendship.
Pat:
Thanks for your response to the post - I'm following you too and hoping that things keep moving in the right direction for you. Thank you for your kind words and your "Doctor Sundance" reply made me grin
Jan:
You've always been so nice towards me and very supportive. "Dr. Sundance" made me grin from you too Your words are so kind and tender, I thank you. Look forward to seeing you and your husband when you feel up to it. When in doubt - UTSW!
Lisa:
My California Sunshine Thank you, Lisa for your kind words on the post as well...always love to hear from you. It means alot to talk with you, especially with all that you've got going on - to see your face on the post means so much to me. I think of you alot and how you handle yourself - you are a reminder to me to stay strong...you are an inspiration.
Lizzy:
You always make me smile too So good to see you. With you and Toots, I always have "Carolina in my Mind." Anytime I hear that song, I think of you. Thank you for your kind words. Always glad to be of service and help you.
Rob:
My "Southern Brother" aka Canada Rob - you never cease to amaze me with your friendship and support. I can always count on a post from you with something good to say. Thank you for the kind things that you said - I know they came from that big heart of yours. I remember our first post about RFA (when you were NED) and I thought this guy is ok, would like to get to know him. And when things came back on you, I got the chance to know you - and found what a wonderful person that you are. You know how much I want you to get better, Buddy. Your spirit and strength emanates across the borders that separate us. Thank you for being part of our community Oh, and congrats on the Gold medal hockey game!
Anne:
Another one of my Canadien friends Always so nice to hear from you, Anne. I want to also thank you for posting and for your kind words as well. And we never do know, do we? I think that's the biggest reason I get up everyday, I just might be surprised or be put to use.
Marie:
Thank you for your kind words - your banter about "Dr.Sundance" made me laugh too. Currently, I don't accept insurance, I'm sort of "pro bono." But you can get a lollipop if you would like, there are plenty and I already know you're good, so I'll throw in a cyberhug too. ((Marie))
Kimby:
Your post touched me deeply. Hearing that coming from you means so much - I think of you often and witnessing some of your struggles always keeps me grounded, because I know how tough you are and your resiliency to Outwit.Outlast.Outplay and you have set the bar high.
I know you hate hearing how "strong and tough" you are - like you said, "What else can we do?" There's truth to that, but the ability to keep going and going and moving forward with that great attitude is what makes you just that - you inspire many people - you inspire me!
Holly:
Thank you so much for your post! Reading your reply, I felt a tear slide down my cheek too
I appreciate your kind words, they mean alot to me. I've been keeping up with your story too and am impressed with how you've been handling your business - you rock!
Kathi:
Wow! Your words of insight had me reading it several times and got me to thinking. You're so right - that's the right type of payment - just pay it forward will be enough for me...I could not agree more! Hopefully, I can live up to the high standards that you have set. It is a very inspiring experience - one cannot help but feel a change come over you - emotional to be sure. Knowing you were put in a spot to help someone else, really makes you think about the role that one might play in their life. Thank you so much for your post and ((HUGS)) back to you, Darlin' (I'm from Texas) and continued good health to you and yours I always look forward to seeing a reply from you when I open a post. Thanks so much for "stoppin' in."
Well then, I guess that covers it pretty good. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and respond. I always love to have you all along for the ride - I feel less alone during those times. Thank you all for your continued love, support and friendship
((SEMI;COLONS))
"Dr.Sundance"
-Craig
I am very touched by your warmth and compassion for a fellow humanoid. I had the same symptoms on November 23, 09...and that was my FIRST clue that all was not well in my perfectly healthy body. When I got to the emergency room--I asked the doc for 3 tranquilizers and still couldn't stop shaking. I KNEW SOMETHING BAD WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO CHANGE MY LIFE. I wish I had someone like you to
talk to at that time. My good luck came in the hospital when I had my surgery and met a fellow colorectal buddy--same operation--same Dr--same day--same pain--same everything...and we still keep in close touch. Having a confidante that KNOWS what you're experiencing is one of my most important parts of HEALING. Congrats--you're a very HUMAN being.Big hugs..maryjane0 -
Craig
What a fantastic human being you are. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes and I thought to myself, If Craig lived near me, I would go in for counseling sessions on a weekly basis!
Your co-worker is lucky to have you and to be able to share in your wealth of knowledge and experience. I pray it is not colon cancer and something much less.
Marie0 -
Craig..what a great helpsfmarie said:Craig
What a fantastic human being you are. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes and I thought to myself, If Craig lived near me, I would go in for counseling sessions on a weekly basis!
Your co-worker is lucky to have you and to be able to share in your wealth of knowledge and experience. I pray it is not colon cancer and something much less.
Marie
Craig,
You are a wealth of information and experience...and thanks for taking the time
to share with others! Great job!
Your co-worker is truly lucky to have you close by...
take care0 -
Thanks Again, Everyone!
I did not want to forget any of you who posted either
Maryjane:
Thank you so much for your kind words as well, they warm my soul. Wish I could have been around for you to talk to. I appreciate your support - I'm following your new course with alternative treatments with high anticipation and hope it is all that you hope for. Can't wait to hear how this all works...so happy for you that you have a new plan. Thanks so much for posting.
SFMarie:
YOU have always been so sweet and kind to me and all of your responses have been so positive! If we lived near one another, I'd certainly take you up on the visits, no charge, of course. What are friends for, right? I'm touched that I was able to touch you today. I always love to see you posting. And I do hope that things are better with your sister. Thank you for being a part of this community - you offer so much support to everyone and we appreciate you confiding in us on your sister's condition.
Devastated:
Ah, D - always good to see you too Thank you for posting as well...you have always had nice things to say. I will always try and help you if I can. Hang in there.
Thanks again, Everybody
-Craig0 -
This is a great story which
This is a great story which touched me a lot.You are a very kind and giving person.I think it's lucky for that young guy to get a chance to visit you before he gets lost.The orientation to a new diagnosed is really really important.I still remember very clearly how much both of us were freaking out when my husband got diagnosed.You are the best example to many people who may face the same problem.You were our classic example at the beginning of the journey,you still are right now and you sure will still be in the future.Anyway,thanks for being so dedicated and passionate to our community.Take care.0 -
Craig
Craig I feel bad that this guy has to face this but you are the person who will be able
to help him through this keep us posted on how he is doing, you are always an inspirartion to me and a lot of others just keep being you and thanks for all you do.
Sheri220 -
Craig
How lucky this guy is to have contacted you. I also agree with everyone else that whenever you post there is a lot of thought and info in your answers. After everything you have been through I think "Dr" is an appropriate title. Please keep us updated on this young man. He is so young and I hope that if it is Cancer that you have steered him to skip some steps that will start his treatment. Also I would like to add that it is hard to stay away from talking and teaching about Cancer and treatments. Especially if you see problems that resemble your own. I try not to preach too much but when I run into someone over 50 that has not had a colonoscopy I do. My cancer was found during my screening scope. If I had waited for symptoms it may have been too late and I know I would have put it off if my MD had not preached to me. I thank him every visit. Thanks for being you. Ann0 -
Hugs right back to you, Craig!ann2008 said:Craig
How lucky this guy is to have contacted you. I also agree with everyone else that whenever you post there is a lot of thought and info in your answers. After everything you have been through I think "Dr" is an appropriate title. Please keep us updated on this young man. He is so young and I hope that if it is Cancer that you have steered him to skip some steps that will start his treatment. Also I would like to add that it is hard to stay away from talking and teaching about Cancer and treatments. Especially if you see problems that resemble your own. I try not to preach too much but when I run into someone over 50 that has not had a colonoscopy I do. My cancer was found during my screening scope. If I had waited for symptoms it may have been too late and I know I would have put it off if my MD had not preached to me. I thank him every visit. Thanks for being you. Ann
Hugs right back to you, Craig! We love you!
Lizzy0
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