Mar 09, 2010 - 5:19 pm
Well, the doctors decided that they will not try for a 3rd surgery. My starts mom chemo and radiation tomorrow, and we are just going to hope for the best.
But, in the meantime, she is being horrid to me. I came back home (she lives in Central America) for ten days to be with her the first week of treatment. The weekend went well. But, things started going badly on Monday. My mom does not like to open the windows in her apartment... but she finds electricity too expensive to turn on the A/C. So, it is horrendously warm here. I asked her to please open some windows, and she got upset, because she is very concerned that the dust and wind will ruin her curtains and furniture. I thought her attitude might have changed, especially since she is facing cancer, and because she knows that the hot apartment is hard on me because of a congenital heart condition.
But, today she has been awful to me. She claimed if she had to pick between me and her curtains/furniture, she would prefer her furniture. She told friends and family members that I had been cursing and screaming at her. She has been telling people that I don't want to take her to run errands, even though I have spent all day yesterday and today at the doctors' offices and taking care of household-related matters.
But, what we really offended me was her claim that her friends are better to her than I am. I have dropped everything twice this year already to be at her side. I missed the first two weeks of the semester, risking a near-full ride to a top-ranked university. I gave up a well-paid internship over the semester, and I am giving up another internship over the summer to be here with her. I am leaving my husband alone for a year, after we already spent a year apart because of a work assignment her took overseas. My husband left that work assignment a few months earlier to come back to the states to give me support and allow me to support my mother. I am scheduling my heart valve replacement surgery around her medical needs. And, I am sitting out school for a year to spend next fall and spring semesters with her. The best most of her friends here offer is to pray the rosary for her.
I know she is facing pain, fear, anger that I cannot understand. But, can't she think of me for one second? Just one second? Why does she have to say such hurtful things? Are your loved ones also saying hurtful things? Or, is it just my mother?