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Lung Cancer Anger!

BEVERLYWS
Posts: 7
Joined: Aug 2008

I have been so angry over my surgery, I think it was from the fear of not knowing.... now almost 2 years later I have chronic copd and many other health problems. my main goal now is to make peace within! the anger had almost consumed me and after all this time I'm ready for change I need spiritual help and some guidence so I really hope you all can give some advice on where to start and what to do....Thanks for any advice & I hope to return the support to you!

RE's picture
RE
Posts: 4606
Joined: Feb 2004

Well I do not have lung cancer I have had my battles (3) with breast cancer. I have watched cancer ravage my mom over a 26 year period (she had many a great day during that time) ravage my oldest sister, sister in-law, brother in-law and an aunt. It is always heart breaking and life changing but it will never ever be life destroying even if I should end of dying of cancer. You see cancer can take my breasts, destroy my arm and cause me lung problems, but It simply cannot have my happiness. I have worked so hard to be here so I can enjoy my family and my life. I myself draw my strength from my faith (Christian) and family you may find your peace elsewhere. The sister I mentioned about was manic depressive and had many emotional issues with what was happening to her. She choose to see a physch doctor once a week and had many a conversations with a pastor who would minister to her in the bar that she owned. Upon her death in her final day she spoke continuously and it was not to us. She was talking to God and would tell us to shush because we were interrupting her conversation. She spoke so much we were amazed, she died that night with her heart where it needed to be. I can only tell you that I believe we choose to be happy or angry, it is our decision. I do not feel cancer has any right to my mental health and I do my best to see to it that cancer does not ruin my happiness. Find a religion you feel comfortable with (I sugguest Baptist as I have found them to not sugar coat the bible and read what is there). I hope in some way I have helped you, you are a survivor you have much to celebrate and live for. I wish you much happiness and will be praying for you.

♥ RE ♥

BEVERLYWS
Posts: 7
Joined: Aug 2008

I appreciate your reply so very much it really brought me back to the reality of it all! I have to let go of what has already happend. I can honestly say that I will be in church on Sunday! I pray to have only a portion of your strength.Thank You! and God Bless You!
Beverly

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

I agree with what RE and Kathy have said about turning to God to help you through your tough times.

I was depressed and scared after my diagnosis, all through my treatments and even after I was told I was in remission I couldn't shake the feeling of doom. I have a lot of other problems in my life besides the cancer and saw no answer to my problems. I finally realized I couldn't go through this alone and I turned to God for help and guidance. I am finally at peace with my life and have started enjoying the time I have left with my family and friends. I no longer stress over everything, if I start to worry needlessly I turn to God for guidance. It is the most amazing feeling of security as I know my life is now in His hands. I don't want this to sound like I only turned to God when times got tough, He has always been in my life, it's just that now I need His guidance more than ever before and He has been there through all of this to show me the way.

I hope you are able to find peace and happiness again.

Glenna

BEVERLYWS
Posts: 7
Joined: Aug 2008

Hi Kathy, As I read each post I realize that I've been wasting my time and energy with the anger and the worry of it all....and all the time I should have just been thankful that God saw me through this far. you sound so much at peace ahhh' I remember that feeling!I am going to really try to put my faith and trust back in God! I looked everywhere else for answers...just trying to find peace! Thank You so much & I pray for you to get well! The fear of it all I really can't even express but I have to try to move forward.Can I just ask you though did you start by praying alot more or reading the bible more? just wondering!
God Bless You! :)
Bev

robinvan's picture
robinvan
Posts: 1014
Joined: May 2007

Hi Beverly,

It sounds like you are still dealing with what I call the "emotional aftermath" of your cancer treatment. I hope this response isn't too long and wordy!

Anger is probably one of the most common responses to cancer, grief, fear, and things that threaten us. I think it is natural and normal.

I find that the first step towards handling anger is to "name" and "accept" it as a valid emotion for what I am going through. If I deny or repress anger it will only harm me in other ways. Acknowledging my anger; becoming aware of how it affects me, emotionally, mentally, and physically; can help me to accept and relinquish it.

I find it also helps to be clear of the difference between "anger" as a natural emotional response which I can't always prevent, and "angry behaviour" which is how I act, or react, when angry and over which I can excercise some restraint and control.

When we are unable to "let go" of our anger it can often take on a more deep seated stance such as "bitterness" or "resentment". This is when it can really wreak havoc on our relationships and well-being. We can become, in the words of John Prine, "...wrapped up in a trap of our very own chain of sorrow"

I like what Kathy has said above. If we can find hope, joy and peace in the midst of what we are going though then even our cancer journey can be life-giving. Prayer, meditation, music, walking, and reading are all things that I do to help me let go of anger and many of the other "afflictive" emotions that go along with this dread disease.

If anger is becoming a real problem in your life and affecting your relationships and quality of life then you could consider looking for some anger management programs. They can be very helpful in providing an understanding of the dynamics of anger and providing useful tools for coping.

There is a great bible passage which says...
"Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger."

This has always been helpful to me in affirming the validity of anger in certain circumstances but cautioning me against acting violently or rashly when angry. It also reminds me not to carry my anger from day to day.

Here's a piece on "serenity" and "inner peace" that I wrote while suffering a recurrence in 2007...
Serenity

So... I hope a little "spiritual wisdom" from the Bible and John Prine is helpful to you.

Peace and blessings... Rob; in Vancouver

You can gaze out the window get mad and get madder,
throw your hands in the air, say "What does it matter?"
but it don't do no good to get angry,
so help me I know

For a heart stained in anger grows weak and grows bitter.
You become your own prisoner as you watch yourself sit there
wrapped up in a trap of your very own
chain of sorrow.
John Prine

BEVERLYWS
Posts: 7
Joined: Aug 2008

Hi, I wanted to say thank you so much and things you said really have meaning. a lot of my problem was trying to keep my pain and my 'anger' to myself.
thank you and thanks to everyone for your reply!
God Bless!
Beverly

sure_hope's picture
sure_hope
Posts: 62
Joined: Feb 2009

http://www.watchtower.org/e/200701/article_03.htm

Sheryl

d.lee
Posts: 31
Joined: Jan 2010

HI, I CAN RELATE TO YOUR FEELINGS. MY ADVICE IS NOT TO LET THE ANGER TAKE OVER AND U ALREADY MADE A STEP. GOD IS THERE WITH U THROUGH ALL THE ANGER AND PAIN AND FEAR. HE WANTS U TO COME TO HIM TO ASK HIM FOR HIS HELP. EVEN IF U FEEL LIKE U CANT. JUST SAYING HIS NAME IS ENOUGH IN THAT DARK TIME.HE CARES AND U CAN TALK TO HIM AND PRAY FOR STRENGH ARE WHATEVER U NEED. HE WILL GIVE U WHAT U NEED TO GET THROUGH THIS TIME. PRAY, LITTLE PRAYERS BIG ONES, WHAT EVER U CAN DO AS SOMEONE HAS ALREADY SAID. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME AND BEFORE U KNOW IT THE ANGER WILL BE GONE AND A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS IN FULL BLOSSOM.

LET GO AND LET GOD:)
DIANE

ms.sunshine
Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

Be honest with God about your feelings if you are mad at Him tell Him, He knows anyways. Then ask Him for His help, and expect Him to help.

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