CSN Login
Members Online: 19

How do you deal with the stress?

pinot
Posts: 12
Joined: Nov 2009

My Dad has prostate cancer. In recent days, his blood pressure has crept up to extremely high levels - yesterday's reading was 177/107. I'm certain that it's related to the anxiety over his unsuccessful surgery and rising PSA.

How can he relieve his stress? I've given him some mediations to listen to on his iPod, but they don't seem to be making a difference.

What else can I do, as his 35-year-old daughter, to lessen his anxiety?

marc1957
Posts: 79
Joined: Oct 2009

first thing I would do is assist in getting his BP under control - he is likely to have heart attack/stroke if it remains that high. There are plenty of drugs to assist that.

Honestly, I cried alot and played with my dog - she seemed to listen and have the same cheery facial expression whether I was happy or otherwise.

The most humbling event was my daughter asking why I was teary eyed one night as she (10yr old ) and my wife were shoveling snow....... I couldnt because of the lifting restriction.

So I told her that I was sad that I couldnt do the snow removal, as it was a dads place to take care of the family - she just told me it was okay and that it wasnt my fault. So after that, I took her word for it and discontinued the pity party of one I was having !

Mind over matter is my opinion, and this is a manly disease that really/literally hits a man where it counts. Us chest pounders are not use to being subject to hear that we will be P'ing blood, that we cant work, that we wont be able to get an erection for 0 to 3 years, etc. It can be downright depressing ( like the economy ).

Hopefully that will shed one males opinion/viewpoint so that you can better grasp what your father is going through.

regards & good luck.

-marc

infooverload
Posts: 6
Joined: Dec 2009

Hi Pinot,

Marc1957 is right - for a guy, this cancer isn't like any other cancer. Not only does it affect you physically, as Marc says, but it's also very difficult to talk about. You end up losing control over your privacy and your sexuality, and a lot of guys find it very hard to deal with that (ALL guys have problems with that - some more than others). I've read of women having similar problems when facing mastectomies: "Am I still a woman -- how much of my identity as a woman is in my breasts? Will my husband stop loving me? I've never had to think about this before!"

I can imagine your dad may find it difficult to talk with you about it, given that you're his daughter and not his son or another man.

Besides the embarrassing stuff, there's the tension of knowing that something deadly is growing inside you, but you can't see it or feel it, and the only evidence is numbers on a sheet of paper that the doctor says are significant.

I'm like your dad - I had surgery a year ago, and was SURE that would be the end of my cancer. I could now get on with my life and forget about being a "cancer patient." But my PSA is now above the "zero" level, and my doctor says I need radiation treatments.

So, now there's a whole new level of stress. My cancer is NOT gone, and now I must disrupt my entire life for six-eight weeks to get daily radiation treatments, which will (or may not) kill all the remaining cancer cells, which may (or may not) affect my bladder and colon, and which may (or may not) produce other cancer in the years ahead.

If I were 75 or 80 years old, I wouldn't even think about this stuff, but since I'm 55, I have to deal with knowing there's still something inside me that may one day kill me, no matter how much the doctors treat it. Your dad is likely having similar thoughts go through his mind.

If he's still dealing with post-surgery issues of continence and erectile dysfunction, he already has a lot on his mind these days. And if he's always been healthy, and has never had to worry (or talk) about his bladder or sexual functions, he's probably struggling a lot, which explains his blood pressure. You don't mention his wife, but one's spouse can either help or hinder a PCa guy's physical and emotional healing.

If you're a praying person, I'd be praying for him, and encourage him to pray and place himself in God's hands for healing and peace. It's at times like this that we all discover our lives are not totally in our control, and that realization can actually be quite helpful. If his wife/significant other can provide support, so much the better.

I'd also try to help him get in touch with other guys who have gone through what he's going through. You could get him active on an online network like this one, and/or ask his doctor for information about a local PCa support group or the contact info for several other patients who have agreed to talk with other patients about their experiences.

lewvino's picture
lewvino
Posts: 1004
Joined: May 2009

Excellent Post. You have nailed it on the head what so many of us feel.
I'm 55 also.

Larry

LBlanks's picture
LBlanks
Posts: 44
Joined: Oct 2009

Worry and concern is normal, but getting to the point where it could negatively affect your health on another front needs to be controlled. Talking openly about the problem and the decisions to be made is a big stress releiver. Discussing with the wife, family, doctor, pastor, etc. is what most folks recommend.

I guess I was lucky because I never lost sleep, was stressed out or overly upset when I found out. I just wanted to reach a decision and get it over with. Of course I was concerned on what to do and which option to take, but once my decision was made and the surgeon selected, I moved forward.

It's part of life and you just deal with it.

Good luck to your Dad and he just needs to know that odds are in his favor to survive it. My doctor told me that most guys die "with" prostate cancer, but very few die "because" of it.

Larry

txbarton's picture
txbarton
Posts: 80
Joined: Aug 2009

I tried cognac and Irish whisky.

A supportive family and this site was a greater stress reducer than anything I could wish for.

Get your dad on this site directly rather than through you.

VB

erisian's picture
erisian
Posts: 109
Joined: Dec 2008

I think that getting stressed out is a pretty normal reaction. It happens to everyone after a prognosis like that. It's very difficult not to obsess over it. Something you could do for your father is to take him out and do something he likes, or even just take him out to dinner an a movie. Anything that will take his mind off it for a while would help. It's a huge stress relief just to not think about it. Then after he has done that sort of thing a few times, he'll realize that it is possible to just let it go sometimes.

hopeful and opt...
Posts: 1293
Joined: Apr 2009

attend religious services.......where there it someone who gives an uplifting sermon....play or listen to music ( I play a ukulele which relieves stress) Get a jar of bubbles and blow...have fun. Consider yoga or tai chi.

Go to a support group.

Basically when I was diagnosed 10 months ago, I was in shock and had all the negative feeling that most of us do for a couple of months......now, I simply go on with my life.

The blood pressure is very high.......see a doctor to control this, and if necessary a pill to calm your father down

Ira

jminnj's picture
jminnj
Posts: 129
Joined: Nov 2009

Relieving stress! Wow that was a tough one for me. I am 47, diagnosed in November, having surgery in a week. Religious services are a help, support groups a must. The best stress reliever for me has been to talk about it. I will admit, easier said than done. But I found that the more I have been able to talk about it, the better I feel, the more relaxed I am. Show your dad this site and see if he is willing to log on. He will find some of the best folks ever here willing to talk or just listen. I cant tell you how much these guys (Sonny, Marc, Randy, Larry, Nick and so many more) have helped me feel like I am not alone.

One of the earlier posts mentioned breast cancer and how a woman deals with that. I think over the last few years we have seen more and more women speaking openly about their condition and I really admire them for that. I believe that it must help them mentally and so much about this is mental. I am hopeful that as time goes on we can start to speak more openly about Prostate Cancer and all the side effects, emotions, that go along with it. This board is a great start for all of us who are affected and our families. What we need to do is get more awareness outside of our world. I tell all my friends who are in my age bracket to make sure they are getting their annual blood test and if their doc isn't doing it, have them do it.

I wish you well and hope to hear from you father.
Joe

lewvino's picture
lewvino
Posts: 1004
Joined: May 2009

Joe,
Good luck on your up coming surgery! It will be behind you in no time and then you will have a totally different outlook on this beast. I'm anxiouslly awaiting my 6 month PSA check post surgery on Feb. 15. Hoping for another 0 in spite of my positive margin post surgery.

Larry Age 55

gumbyrun's picture
gumbyrun
Posts: 52
Joined: Dec 2009

I'm tired about being positive about this and reassuring everyone that I am optimistic and that I am going to beat this and all will be OK. I am definitely a "half-full glass" type of guy, in fact, for Christmas my wife and daughters (13&15) bought me a "life is good shirt" with a water glass and the saying "half full." Its been deemed my official PCa shirt!

I was diagnosed in November and I am scheduled for daVinci surgery on 2/26/10. I was on top of this. Did all the research, looked at all the options, and at 52, it seemed (and still seems to be) the right choice. Becky (my wife who is an RN and the best) and I met with the urologist and radiation oncologist in Pittsburgh last Wed and all went as we planned. No major revelations. Original pathologist in Danville, pa., scored 4 of 10 cores, one 7 (3&4), and three 6. Pathologist in Pit scored all four a 6 so that's a good thing.

I knew I would be off 4-8 weeks (from reading these posts here) and had big plans - was going to burn that vinyl to cd's, old 8mm and vhs tapes to dvd, really spend some quality time with my guitar, long walks in the woods, etc.

An old friend even published an article about "recovery" and how I am evidence that recovery begins in the depths of winter as evidenced by my attitude.

But now that I have a definite plan and a date, I don't have that sense of peace that I thought I would have. In fact, I just want to curl into a ball.

First support group meeting is tomorrow night.
My first worries were impotence and incontinence but now on top of that, I am just tired of being the rock, ya know?
Thanks for letting me vent. These feelings pass quickly...but are occurring a bit more often.
Mike

randy_in_indy's picture
randy_in_indy
Posts: 493
Joined: Oct 2009

Sorry to hear you are getting down. But really there is those moments that we all say..."why me?", "What did I do to deserve this?" That is certainly been on my mind...but also on my mind is ...wow...I have had such a lucky life, ALL MY LIFE, maybe this is God's way of throwing me a curve ball to see how I handle this. I know one thing....it's the people around me in my life that continue to force me to be optimistic, my RN partner like you, my mother, brother, co-workers...I could not believe the outpouring of support from my co-workers its been so touching to a point that I need to be positive for them so I don't let them down...and at the same time it really is healthy for me. I believe 95% of an outcome in just about any situation is the attitude going into the event. I also think a few jokes along the way about our predicament is healthy...don't get me wrong...I do my homework and research try to be realistic.... and very serious about this...but at the same time I refuse to stop having fun in my life! Hey you have the plan set....go have as much fun as you can prior to the surgery...then just know you will be in recovery mode following the surgery. And we are all here for YOU!

Here's to YOU getting back in the boat...drinking that bud light and having the time of your life...once again!

Randy in Indy

randy_in_indy's picture
randy_in_indy
Posts: 493
Joined: Oct 2009

Sorry to hear you are getting down. But really there is those moments that we all say..."why me?", "What did I do to deserve this?" That is certainly been on my mind...but also on my mind is ...wow...I have had such a lucky life, ALL MY LIFE, maybe this is God's way of throwing me a curve ball to see how I handle this. I know one thing....it's the people around me in my life that continue to force me to be optimistic, my RN partner like you, my mother, brother, co-workers...I could not believe the outpouring of support from my co-workers its been so touching to a point that I need to be positive for them so I don't let them down...and at the same time it really is healthy for me. I believe 95% of an outcome in just about any situation is the attitude going into the event. I also think a few jokes along the way about our predicament is healthy...don't get me wrong...I do my homework and research try to be realistic.... and very serious about this...but at the same time I refuse to stop having fun in my life! Hey you have the plan set....go have as much fun as you can prior to the surgery...then just know you will be in recovery mode following the surgery. And we are all here for YOU!

Here's to YOU getting back in the boat...drinking that bud light and having the time of your life...once again!

Randy in Indy

randy_in_indy's picture
randy_in_indy
Posts: 493
Joined: Oct 2009

Sorry to hear you are getting down. But really there is those moments that we all say..."why me?", "What did I do to deserve this?" That is certainly been on my mind...but also on my mind is ...wow...I have had such a lucky life, ALL MY LIFE, maybe this is God's way of throwing me a curve ball to see how I handle this. I know one thing....it's the people around me in my life that continue to force me to be optimistic, my RN partner like you, my mother, brother, co-workers...I could not believe the outpouring of support from my co-workers its been so touching to a point that I need to be positive for them so I don't let them down...and at the same time it really is healthy for me. I believe 95% of an outcome in just about any situation is the attitude going into the event. I also think a few jokes along the way about our predicament is healthy...don't get me wrong...I do my homework and research try to be realistic.... and very serious about this...but at the same time I refuse to stop having fun in my life! Hey you have the plan set....go have as much fun as you can prior to the surgery...then just know you will be in recovery mode following the surgery. And we are all here for YOU!

Here's to YOU getting back in the boat...drinking that bud light and having the time of your life...once again!

Randy in Indy

randy_in_indy's picture
randy_in_indy
Posts: 493
Joined: Oct 2009

Sorry to hear you are getting down. But really there is those moments that we all say..."why me?", "What did I do to deserve this?" That is certainly been on my mind...but also on my mind is ...wow...I have had such a lucky life, ALL MY LIFE, maybe this is God's way of throwing me a curve ball to see how I handle this. I know one thing....it's the people around me in my life that continue to force me to be optimistic, my RN partner like you, my mother, brother, co-workers...I could not believe the outpouring of support from my co-workers its been so touching to a point that I need to be positive for them so I don't let them down...and at the same time it really is healthy for me. I believe 95% of an outcome in just about any situation is the attitude going into the event. I also think a few jokes along the way about our predicament is healthy...don't get me wrong...I do my homework and research try to be realistic.... and very serious about this...but at the same time I refuse to stop having fun in my life! Hey you have the plan set....go have as much fun as you can prior to the surgery...then just know you will be in recovery mode following the surgery. And we are all here for YOU!

Here's to YOU getting back in the boat...drinking that bud light and having the time of your life...once again!

Randy in Indy

randy_in_indy's picture
randy_in_indy
Posts: 493
Joined: Oct 2009

Sorry to hear you are getting down. But really there is those moments that we all say..."why me?", "What did I do to deserve this?" That is certainly been on my mind...but also on my mind is ...wow...I have had such a lucky life, ALL MY LIFE, maybe this is God's way of throwing me a curve ball to see how I handle this. I know one thing....it's the people around me in my life that continue to force me to be optimistic, my RN partner like you, my mother, brother, co-workers...I could not believe the outpouring of support from my co-workers its been so touching to a point that I need to be positive for them so I don't let them down...and at the same time it really is healthy for me. I believe 95% of an outcome in just about any situation is the attitude going into the event. I also think a few jokes along the way about our predicament is healthy...don't get me wrong...I do my homework and research try to be realistic.... and very serious about this...but at the same time I refuse to stop having fun in my life! Hey you have the plan set....go have as much fun as you can prior to the surgery...then just know you will be in recovery mode following the surgery. And we are all here for YOU!

Here's to YOU getting back in the boat...drinking that bud light and having the time of your life...once again!

Randy in Indy

randy_in_indy's picture
randy_in_indy
Posts: 493
Joined: Oct 2009

Sorry to hear you are getting down. But really there is those moments that we all say..."why me?", "What did I do to deserve this?" That is certainly been on my mind...but also on my mind is ...wow...I have had such a lucky life, ALL MY LIFE, maybe this is God's way of throwing me a curve ball to see how I handle this. I know one thing....it's the people around me in my life that continue to force me to be optimistic, my RN partner like you, my mother, brother, co-workers...I could not believe the outpouring of support from my co-workers its been so touching to a point that I need to be positive for them so I don't let them down...and at the same time it really is healthy for me. I believe 95% of an outcome in just about any situation is the attitude going into the event. I also think a few jokes along the way about our predicament is healthy...don't get me wrong...I do my homework and research try to be realistic.... and very serious about this...but at the same time I refuse to stop having fun in my life! Hey you have the plan set....go have as much fun as you can prior to the surgery...then just know you will be in recovery mode following the surgery. And we are all here for YOU!

Here's to YOU getting back in the boat...drinking that bud light and having the time of your life...once again!

Randy in Indy

randy_in_indy's picture
randy_in_indy
Posts: 493
Joined: Oct 2009

So I hit the button...several times...LOL Yeah...I'm an A type personality..LOL

gumbyrun's picture
gumbyrun
Posts: 52
Joined: Dec 2009

Thanks Randy. Thanks Randy.Thanks Randy.Thanks Randy.Thanks Randy.Thanks Randy. (I think that's about one "thanks" for each post!)
Sounds like I'm a few weeks behind you from your other posts. I'll keep everyone posted and oh yes, I'll be back on the boat soon!

142
Posts: 169
Joined: Dec 2009

Mike,
Trust me, you are not alone - I'm strong for everyone (almost) but I do have some old friends who come by to check up on me - they had the same sort of pressures years ago. We share gripes and pain, I lean on them to promise that it is worth the fight,we have a glass of wine, put the good faces back on, and keep going.

If you have not already, get a copy of Michael Korda's "Man to Man" (1997 - a quick read - 254 pages). I read it a couple of weeks ago (well after the surgery). With the exception of the changes in surgery and some of the statistics, it could have been me. They might have it at your local library. I would not have even thought he could be talking about what I was going to go through if I had read it before surgery -

bdhilton
Posts: 756
Joined: Jan 2010

Like you I “curled up in a ball” early on for a few days in the beginning…
We all have our stories and I believe that all things are relative… Everyday I get up and I realize that I am blessed in so many ways…even when I seem to be hit again and again with a “baseball bat” from life. I was unemployed 21 months when I was diagnosed with PC in Dec 09…..still unemployed (got to smile had a job offer this week and can’t take it because of my surgery)…I’m right behind you…March 3rd but Open instead of Di Vinci… Yes we all go through a process pre surgery/treatment and then there is the Post treatment/surgery process.

What has helped me?

My wife reinforces that we will deal with what is presented to us instead of worrying about the unknown…

My mother (25 year survivor of multiple myeloma-with no treatments to date) told me to be positive and believe that the best will happen regardless of the outcome…she is big on “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…but about learning to dance in the rain”

Talking to my spiritual adviser (for me a priest) about every other week and that has been good for me for placing life in perspective.

My children (4 boys or I should say men) continue their life not dweling with with my journey and new mystery in life…

Good single malt (have my preferences) and talk to a good friend and some nights talk to myself :-)

Number one is opening my window in my music room, plugging in one of my guitars in to my Marshal stack (my biggest amplifier) and letting everyone within ear shot know without a doubt I am alive (and you thought teenagers were bad)… for a song or 2 anyway…

In all honesty I am also scared about the pending surgery, recovered and what lies ahead but I remind myself that I have no control, I respect my mortality and I believe the best will happen…whatever that is…damn the torpedoes

johndz
Posts: 33
Joined: Jan 2010

I'm 8 weeks from DaVincy - I stay home 8 weeks - I'm doing well - Very stress full an worry before surgery but after that until now I'm feeling good. Specially after 1 PSA check up with PSA <.1! Surgery is nothing due to I don't know when I fall to sleep and when I wake up and hear some talking noise and my surgery already done - 11 AM to 6PM. 1 pad with little wet during first day back to work - ED back to almost normal (1st shot)- Have not take any pill or try pump. Best wishes to you

Johndz

Trew
Posts: 891
Joined: Jan 2010

Try the drug Xanax. For me, very nice. And I only needed it a few itmes a month, but when everything started closing in and the bottom falling out, Xanax wroked very nicely for me.

gumbyrun's picture
gumbyrun
Posts: 52
Joined: Dec 2009

My wife, an RN, got me to get a script for Prozac as part of my pre-surgery check from my GP. It has certainly taken the edge off things.
I am in sales and have a lot of customers that have become good friends. Most of them know my situation and have heard my lecture about staying on top of their PSA numbers! I am getting a tremendous amount of support from them and also one particular old friend.

I am getting interested now in the particulars and it helps to have an RN in the same bed! Will I have a private room? Where does the hose to the bag go? Should I bring my guitar to the hospital? Goofy stuff, but it is helping me as it gets closer. 2 weeks from tomorrow.
One of the books I read the guy talked about envisioning each step of the way on surgery day. I get jazzed on the way to the airport when flying so I can imagine I'll be on my toes on surgery day!

lewvino's picture
lewvino
Posts: 1004
Joined: May 2009

gumbyrun - Well you bring back memories from my trip to the Hospital last August 12th. Soon it will be behind you and believe me your thoughts will change one on the 'other side' Its definetly better over here (at least for me)

Leave the guitar at home I doubt you will want to play it. I had my surgery in Nashville (home of the grand ole opry) and they don't allow guitars in the Operating room!

Larry age 55

142
Posts: 169
Joined: Dec 2009

Other than my phone, charger, bathrobe, houseshoes, loose clothes to go home in, and a book to read between being rousted by the nurses for one check or another, I used nothing that I took with me.
You may not be there long enough to open a bag. I was, as they kept me three days over normal, but a lot of folks go home the next day (they tried that with me, but I didn't make it to the door).
I had a private room, but that was because the hospital is new and has only private rooms, so lucked out there.
The catheter tube will be secured to one leg (guess which depends on what side the nurse is standing on in surgery). They will have placed a patch with a loop to secure it on your leg. From there it is free down to the big / night bag.
The size of the night bag is the reason I took a pair of fleece pants, and cut thought the seam from below the pocket to above the hem. I was able to pass the bag through the cut without disconnecting it (a royal pain), and then pin the leg back around the tube. Then just put the bag in a shopping bag. At home I hooked the bag on a clip to my robe pocket so I didn't have to have my hands full. Never did use the leg bag, but the cath was out in 7 days, and the risks / hassles of changing bags were not worth the trouble.
You might see if you can find some basketball snap pants - I got some from Adidas (called a 100g pant, light nylon-like material)- they snap all the way down the leg, so are easy to put on around the tube.

Remember that you will want them to give you a leg bag, extra tube (there will not be one in the leg bag kit), and maybe an extra night bag. Just in case.
They may give you extra catheter tube patches, but I gave up on those - they get wet, come loose, and Willie is left carrying the weight of the world. Nothing good about that. So I got some elastic-style disposable bandages at Walgreens (J&J calls them "Coach", one six-foot long one can be cut in half) - one above the tube T connection, one below, and your life will be a little less painful.

gjeck6874
Posts: 9
Joined: Feb 2010

Good luck tomorrow !!!!

Prozac ... The little things don't feel as important to worry about. Nice effect.

As far as the Private room ... why not ... but you really won't care.

Don't be afraid to use the call button or the self-med button.

And they will really want to know when you pass gas? A sign of progress in your recovery.

Which end of the hose are you worried about?

Leave the guitar home ... maybe a harmonica would be easier to carry around?

Remember you'll have that bag for a couple of weeks.

Be optimistic about your first post-operative PSA Test. What else can you do?

Again, good luck and keep in touch thru this site.

Geoff

carmaup
Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2010
Trew
Posts: 891
Joined: Jan 2010

I suppose that is one way! LOL!

Trew
Posts: 891
Joined: Jan 2010

For me, I got rid of sports.

I was on a forum that was not as friendly as it once was. After some 15 years of hangin' out there, I left.

I am looking for stressors in my life and removing them and replacing them with softer, less stressful things.

Unfortunately, PC is a stressor that lasts a little longer than some.

mrshisname's picture
mrshisname
Posts: 186
Joined: Feb 2010

Since my husband's diagnosis last Friday (good grief, almost a week already) we've done nothing but research research research. We have both come to the conclusion that this is a really crappy disease.
My husband doesn't like to deal with the internet much. But several nights I've sat him down with the laptop and he's read thru messages on this board. He's also talked with another man who has gone thru this (friend of a friend's husband) and will probably talk to Randy on this board tonight or soon.
We've gone to church services Sunday and last night, The overwhelming support of our church community and knowing all those people are praying for us goes a long way in helping us.
Still, I have no idea about the thoughts in my hubby's head that he is not sharing with me, or if he is in the depths of despair (I think I would be). I found a local "Man to Man" support group meeting in a couple of weeks so he will have the opportunity to talk with just guys and not this old gal...and he is planning to go.
Wish I could get him on this board active and participating, but that is just not him.
I know I am rambling here...
one more thing I'd advise anyone going for surgery to take with you...blistex or lip balm. I've had several surgeries, and all the meds dry you out so much I end up with chapped lips every time. It was heaven to have the lip balm there to at least soothe that little hurt. Comfort goes a long way after surgery.

I'm praying for all you guys and hoping the best for all of you. I've been very humbled reading all the stories here, and stand encouraged by the support here. Thanks so much.

Trew
Posts: 891
Joined: Jan 2010

I sometimes think I am one of the grumpiest posters on this discussion board. And as I was reading your post above, well, I just hope I don't discourage you. My gleason was high, I had positive bladder neck margins and the hormone shot and the radiation have sort of beat me down a bit. But there are a lot of upbeat stories around here, too.

A guy I talked with at Loma Linda U had surgery 6 or 7 years ago. Recently he had developed some kind of positive margin problem and was back for 40 proton treatments. He said the doctor who did his surgery was a good "carpenter" and all nerve endings were spared and he had good sex since surgery- just took some time to get use to the dry climax. Shooting blanks as some call it. It took me 7 months to get almost dry so I could move on to radiaiton, but I have talked with some who were dry in 2 months, pretty much.

You have good friends and support around both of you. I hope you do take a look at the proton therapy, but in the end there is another side of this and for most of us it ends ok. Deep breath, let it out slowly......

mrshisname's picture
mrshisname
Posts: 186
Joined: Feb 2010

Thanks, please don't feel you are negative, I understand that your situation is different than ours. And I don't think that you are negative. Honestly, my hubby wants nothing to do with radiation. He just is soooo fearful of it. We are going to see the radiation oncologist in about 10 days. We were going to cancell but Randy encouraged us to go, and he agreed we would. We go back to the original urologist tomorrow afternoon, see another urologist on Monday. I have to go for my surgery followup on Tuesday, and then we are going to consult with yet another urologist, I forget the exact date. I'm trying to get all his appointments in before I go back to work. I want to be with him every step of the way. He seems to be doing really good. If it weren't for the Lord, we would be in a far different place...

randy_in_indy's picture
randy_in_indy
Posts: 493
Joined: Oct 2009

Funny you talk about the lipbalm. I want to send a message to the anesthesiologist that was on my surgeons team, Dr Goode I believe because prior to my surgery in pre-op he came by and asked me the round of questions they ask before major surgery and then said is there any quirks or extra things I should know about you? I said...yes...unless you want to be fighting my nose bleeding (I have one side that gets really dry and always bleeds year round) you need to put something prior to the surgery beginning. I was just telling Annette last night the very first thing I really noticed when I woke up after surgery was that my nose was nice and moist and not at all dryed out. I don't think he used vasaline but I really want to know because it was the best my nose had felt in months...Just another reason I really liked my surgery team... it's the little things that make a difference. Call when you can.

Randy in indy

hopeful and opt...
Posts: 1293
Joined: Apr 2009

At some of the support groups the ladies have a separate one, and in others the ladies participate.........

Ira

mrshisname's picture
mrshisname
Posts: 186
Joined: Feb 2010

yeh, I'm going to go with him but want to give him his space also...

erisian's picture
erisian
Posts: 109
Joined: Dec 2008

The Man to Man groups are definitely open to wives and girlfriends! There are some who show up regularly at the group that I attend, including mine. It is good that you are planning to go too. I think both of you will find it to be very helpful.

You are lucky that your husband wants to go. Judging by the ratio of men who have prostate cancer to those who attend support groups, most men don't want to do anything like that.

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network