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85 Year old with metastatic prostate cancer... chemo or hospice...

milf31681
Posts: 8
Joined: Jan 2009

Hey i had been on here awhile back about our 85 year old dad who has prostate cancer that metasticized and was also in the bone... Since then it has spread to the liver and lungs... He still drives, plays the guitar, cooks, cleans and is very full of life... The doctor has now told us that the only choice left is Chemo... We aren't sure which kind of the chemo but it scares the heck out of us... We don't know what to do... We would hate to see him suffer through the chemo only for the chemo to be what does him in... I do know how wonderful hospice is and how comforting they are but its almost like do you stop the fight now and keep him comfortable and pain free or do the chemo and chance what happens... I am open to any and all suggestions our whole family is torn on what to do we want to make the best decision possible so if anyone has been through this or is going through this and has any ideas please share them... I really appreciate any advice i can get.. Melissa

saoco
Posts: 43
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi melissa in last june i lost my father to liver cancer,before that he has pc which he pased to me and my brother as his legacy.when he died he was 89, and he was my best friend i was very sorry that he passaway,but at the same time God granted me peace knowing that he called my dad home.for the last five years i fouthg every batle to keep my father alive which I with the help of God was able to do.he last six months the doctor advised me no to give chemo.so he did not take chemo and naturaly he was detirioreting day by day,and it hurt so much so see him that way.I want to keep him home until the last minute which I Did but for his last couple of days I was able to ge him into hospice where he died in peace.the only thing,
that I ever regret is not to take him to hospice before I did,I will advice you no chemo,and keep him home until you see him geting realy sick then take him to hospice.I hope that my story
some how help you to make the rigth choise.

tpelle
Posts: 163
Joined: Aug 2003

Sorry to hear of your father's situation. Brother had external beam radiation at age 72 at the onset of prostate cancer. I don't know his statistics. At about age 80 hormone treatment was started which allowed him to continue an active and enjoyable life for another seven years. By age 87 cancer had spread to his bladder and was considered inoperable. Began chemo therapy which caused several painful medical issues during the next 18 months at which time he refused further treatment and began hospice care. Near the end at age 89 in 2007 he told his family he wished he had not done the chemo therapy which allow him only a few more months of life in misery. If one could only know for sure what chemo treatment will bring, the decision might be easier. Some will want to survive as long as possible regardless of the medical issues.

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