no vacation!

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dbs1673
dbs1673 Member Posts: 203
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I had bilat mastectomy June'08 with expanders put in at the time of surgery. Didn't know then but turned out I needed radiation. Finished that in Oct so getting implants had to be delayed. Shed those hard rocks for the implants in April. Unfortunatly I have quite a bit of rippling especially on the radiated side. The surgeon suggests to put a larger implant in to help minimize the rippling, yet knowing that the radiated side will still have it's issues. I'm all for trying to get it better. I've told work that I'll be out for two weeks. When people hear "no work for two weeks" everyone thinks it's a vacation. Even my extended family thinks "vacation". I bite my lip and say that I'm thankful to recover in nice weather and walk away. For those that do ask "is it more cancer?" and I say thankfully no then they say "Oh, just cosmetic". This isn't a vacation and this isn't just cosmetic! I would have happily kept my little boobs had cancer not come into my life. Everytime these incision lines are opened, I feel like I'm back at the beginning of this journey. Never did I think that the journey would be this long. I am confident of all the decisions I have made and I have no regrets.....just a lot of frustration.

dawn
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Comments

  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #2
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    So sorry Dawn! Sending you
    So sorry Dawn! Sending you postive thoughts that I hope will cheer you up!
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #3
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    survivorbc09 said:

    So sorry Dawn! Sending you
    So sorry Dawn! Sending you postive thoughts that I hope will cheer you up!

    Dawn, we have all been thru
    Dawn, we have all been thru the frustration of going thru this. Please know that we are here to support you!

    Hoping you feel better today,

    Susie
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #4
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    Sorry for the frustration
    Sorry for the frustration Dawn. People that haven't been thru this just say really dumb things sometimes. Try to not let it bother you!

    Kylez
  • Tux
    Tux Member Posts: 544
    #5
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    Sorry that people are not
    Sorry that people are not more understanding toward you. I think their comments are based on their lack of knowledge -- not out of malice. Before I had bc I might have made some type of comment out of ignorance. I was always afraid to ask survivors about their procedures, in case they did not want to talk about it or maybe they had gotten bad news.

    Hang in there--we are here for you!
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #6
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    Tux said:

    Sorry that people are not
    Sorry that people are not more understanding toward you. I think their comments are based on their lack of knowledge -- not out of malice. Before I had bc I might have made some type of comment out of ignorance. I was always afraid to ask survivors about their procedures, in case they did not want to talk about it or maybe they had gotten bad news.

    Hang in there--we are here for you!

    I am so sorry. Having bc is
    I am so sorry. Having bc is so difficult on its own. And, some people just don't know what to say, and, when they do talk, they say the wrong thing. Just try and ignore them and concentrate on getting yourself well and free of cancer!

    Love, Jeanne
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #7
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    It's not only no vacation
    It's not only no vacation but no picnic either. I think most people mean well, just say things wrong.

    I had a friend diagnosed with a disease (can't remember what it was called now) but she told me, "At least it's not cancer."
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #8
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    Wow! A cosmetic Surgery Vacation~ Lucky you!! LOL
    Some of us get boobs, and some of us are surrounded by boobs!!! People do say the most inappropriate things, don't they? They are a puzzlement to me, that's for sure. On the other hand, I wonder how many off the wall comments I made to others before I started this journey. Knowing me, I probably put my foot in my mouth plenty of times!

    On to more important things, namely YOU!!! I am sorry you have had a few "glitches", it of course goes without saying that I hope your surgery goes well for you, that the results are stellar, and you will be healthy and happy for at least the next 50 years! And that the next time you have 2 weeks off, it will indeed be for the relaxed, no cares, no surgery vacation you deserve!

    Hugs!
    Claudia
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #9
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    Sorry Dawn for what seems to
    Sorry Dawn for what seems to be people's insensitive remarks, but they just don't get it. They don't say things to be mean it's just that they want to reach out and just don't know how or what to say to us. None of us asked to have cancer, nor did we ask to lose a breast, so just smile and walk away because no matter how hard you try to explain, they just don't get it. Just pour your heart out to us who have traveled or are traveling your same road, we understand. Hugs, Lili
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #10
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    mmontero38 said:

    Sorry Dawn for what seems to
    Sorry Dawn for what seems to be people's insensitive remarks, but they just don't get it. They don't say things to be mean it's just that they want to reach out and just don't know how or what to say to us. None of us asked to have cancer, nor did we ask to lose a breast, so just smile and walk away because no matter how hard you try to explain, they just don't get it. Just pour your heart out to us who have traveled or are traveling your same road, we understand. Hugs, Lili

    People can be so dumb and
    People can be so dumb and insensitive. Don't let it bother you. They are not important.

    Just ignore their stupidity and do what you have to do for yourself.

    And, come here and vent!
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #11
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    Dawn, you come here and vent
    Dawn, you come here and vent anytime you want. We do understand, unlike others who have not been thru this. I am so sorry for their ignorance.

    Good luck to you!
  • dbs1673
    dbs1673 Member Posts: 203
    #12
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    DianeBC said:

    Dawn, you come here and vent
    Dawn, you come here and vent anytime you want. We do understand, unlike others who have not been thru this. I am so sorry for their ignorance.

    Good luck to you!

    THANKS!!
    Thank you all so much for your understanding and validation!!! My "vacation" is on the 20th starting with that lovely take me away cocktail. I'll be sure to send a "post" card and tell you how it's going.

    dawn
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #13
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    dbs1673 said:

    THANKS!!
    Thank you all so much for your understanding and validation!!! My "vacation" is on the 20th starting with that lovely take me away cocktail. I'll be sure to send a "post" card and tell you how it's going.

    dawn

    Put a paper umbrella in that cocktail!
    That postcard isn't going to say "having a wonderful time, wish you were here", is it??? LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #14
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    dbs1673 said:

    THANKS!!
    Thank you all so much for your understanding and validation!!! My "vacation" is on the 20th starting with that lovely take me away cocktail. I'll be sure to send a "post" card and tell you how it's going.

    dawn

    Good luck on the 20th on
    Good luck on the 20th on your "vacation". Please let us know how you do!

    I hope that everything goes well and easy for you!


    Post and update us when you can or feel like it.


    Hugs,


    Susie
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #15
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    chenheart said:

    Put a paper umbrella in that cocktail!
    That postcard isn't going to say "having a wonderful time, wish you were here", is it??? LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Wishing you good luck! Keep
    Wishing you good luck! Keep us updated on your surgery!

    And, I am sorry for what people said to you.


    They just don't get it.


    Hugs, Lex
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #16
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    We've all been...
    ... subjected to ignorant comments. People mean well, the vast majority of the time. Unfortunately for you (and us), most of the time they simply don't spend even a moment to THINK before they speak. You're absolutely correct: NOT a vacation for you, and NOT a "cosmetic" procedure! Your frustration is totally understandable.

    I'll be hoping all goes well with your surgery, and for speedy recovery.
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #17
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    Christmas Girl said:

    We've all been...
    ... subjected to ignorant comments. People mean well, the vast majority of the time. Unfortunately for you (and us), most of the time they simply don't spend even a moment to THINK before they speak. You're absolutely correct: NOT a vacation for you, and NOT a "cosmetic" procedure! Your frustration is totally understandable.

    I'll be hoping all goes well with your surgery, and for speedy recovery.

    Some people are just plain
    Some people are just plain ignorant and I would personally like to slap them. Rudeness is so ugly and so is stupidity. Sorry for what they said to you. Just try to ignore them and realize that they don't know any better. You just have your surgery and get yourself healthy. Post and let us know how you are doing!
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #18
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    Christmas Girl said:

    We've all been...
    ... subjected to ignorant comments. People mean well, the vast majority of the time. Unfortunately for you (and us), most of the time they simply don't spend even a moment to THINK before they speak. You're absolutely correct: NOT a vacation for you, and NOT a "cosmetic" procedure! Your frustration is totally understandable.

    I'll be hoping all goes well with your surgery, and for speedy recovery.

    Ditto
    Ditto for what Susan and everyone else said. I just sigh and node and give my hubby "the look" that means...."can I kill them now? Do you got my back?" He looks back with the look that says "if your a good girl, I'll buy you a Dairy Queen on the way home!" Guess what? The Dairy Queen always wins! :O) Pammy
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #19
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    Akiss4me said:

    Ditto
    Ditto for what Susan and everyone else said. I just sigh and node and give my hubby "the look" that means...."can I kill them now? Do you got my back?" He looks back with the look that says "if your a good girl, I'll buy you a Dairy Queen on the way home!" Guess what? The Dairy Queen always wins! :O) Pammy

    And all these ignorant,
    And all these ignorant, thoughtless people don't even know that they have been saved by Dairy Queen. Next time, just sing to hubby, DQ save a life today, make stupid people go away, I need a blizzard. Add the look and you can get extra sprinkles.
    Stef
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #20
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    fauxma said:

    And all these ignorant,
    And all these ignorant, thoughtless people don't even know that they have been saved by Dairy Queen. Next time, just sing to hubby, DQ save a life today, make stupid people go away, I need a blizzard. Add the look and you can get extra sprinkles.
    Stef

    Keeping you in my thoughts
    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for the 20th.
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #21
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    Christmas Girl said:

    We've all been...
    ... subjected to ignorant comments. People mean well, the vast majority of the time. Unfortunately for you (and us), most of the time they simply don't spend even a moment to THINK before they speak. You're absolutely correct: NOT a vacation for you, and NOT a "cosmetic" procedure! Your frustration is totally understandable.

    I'll be hoping all goes well with your surgery, and for speedy recovery.

    Can't believe that someone
    Can't believe that someone would say that, let alone even think it. I think sometimes they just don't get what they are saying. Stupidity? Probably.

    Don't worry about them. Good luck with your surgery. Heal quickly and let us know how you continue to do.

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