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leedeb
Posts: 3
Joined: May 2008

have a partner of 26 years survive cancer then he left me has this happen to many

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

From my conversations with people on this site and elsewhere, it is more common for the caregiver to bolt than for the survivor to do so, but if you read the previous post to yours and its responses, you will read where I described being told you have cancer as a 'midlife crisis' of its own.

Maybe that is what happened.

To be honest, it is just as likely that other problems were already there and that cancer is taking the blame.

Regardless, it is a sorry state of affairs, especially assuming you provided the arduous care for your significant other before he departed.

I feel for you. Be thankful that you now have freedom and a new life; that is, as hard as it might be, dismiss the pain and regret and whatever, and concentrate on the good life to come for you.

Take care.

leedeb
Posts: 3
Joined: May 2008

So is it so wrong to care about him so much an to think it is cemo an the drugs that made him run. do i try to talk with him or just let it be an live with a broken empty heart. i know i can go on . but i still worrie so much about him being alone to help me . not as easy as ya all say to just stop an move on when i still care an worrie.

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

I do not think that anyone would suggest that you simply give up on a relationship! If you look back to your original question, it did not address that subject at all, but rather asked if this were something that others experienced.

I also asked that you look at a previous post to see a possible way that cancer might be complicit in the behavior of your loved one, and it seems you have not done that.

In any event, there is some disagreement about the impact of chemotherapy on things like depression and other behavior, but certainly there are quite a few folks who believe that it helps, along with cancer itself, to bring at least some survivors to depression. As for "drugs" you never specified what drugs might be involved and I wouldn't be qualified to respond in that regard anyway.

I do hope that you can resolve your issues with this person. As I have said often to others, it would be a shame if cancer made a 'victim' of a relationship in addition to all of the other horrible things it can do.

Take care.

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