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Am I going off my head

tamlin
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2006

I was diagnosed with subungual malignant melanoma 4mm thick on February.Since then I have had my toe amputated and a bit of bone taken from my foot.I have made an excellent recovery from the surgery. Everyone kept telling me how amazed they were at how I coped with the diagnosis and treatment, and i must say i surprised myself. I kept everything as normal as possble and kept positive throughout. But now its a different story, I have had my path report and ct scan and told I have the all clear, although i still have to go to my hospital every 3 months for the next 5 years and also the beatson cancer clinic every 3 months, but to me thats peace of mind.What the hell is wrong with me? I feel so guilty as there are people out there alot worse off than me. I should be on top of the world, shouting from the roof tops - Ive got the all clear!!I just feel so down now. I have this big heavy weight in my tummy and it wont go.I dont want to talk to my family, friends as they are so happy for me.

Carvs's picture
Carvs
Posts: 30
Joined: Jul 2005

No you are NOT going off your head. From my point of view what you are feeling is totally normal. My melanoma primary was at least 6.9 mm thick and I had 2.8 mm residual melanoma and one positive node. My one year PET/CT scan showed no evidence of metastatic or recurrent disease. I felt like I should be more relieved than I was. It's so hard with a cancer like melanoma not to worry but hopefully with time it will get better. Another place to find people who know how you feel is the MPIP, a very active board dedicated to melanoma. The web address is http://www.mpip.org/bb/bbindex.html
My very best wishes to you, Carver

tamlin
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2006

Thank you so much for your reply Carver. I shall certainly give this website a try.I think I just feel so guilty at the feelings i have right now, thus not being able to talk to anyone.

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